Best Response
  1. Get rid of High School diploma, it's assumed you have one considering you are in college.
  2. Keep months and years consistent when dealing with dates. You use months when talking about experience but years when talking about education. You also sometimes include month and year and sometimes only month and sometimes only year. Keep one format.
  3. Skills should be at the bottom.
  4. Don't use periods at the end of a bullet point sentence.
  5. Make the margins a lot more narrow.
  6. There just seems to be a lot of white space in general. I don't know why I think that but I just do, and that not a good thing.
  7. Under each heading there should be 2-4 bullet points. Some of yours only have one. One bullet indicates that the experience was not really of value.
  8. Each bullet point should not be more than 2 lines. A bullet point with 3 or 4 lines is too long.
  9. Each bullet point should start with a very strong action verb (lead, analyzed, collared, accomplished, created, fabricated, designed.) Some of your bulled points are very weak (Demanding, In, Worked)
 
CRE:
quarterzip:
3. Skills should be at the bottom.

Or removed entirely. They're all implied and assumed from his experiences.

I was just saying in general that skills and interests should be at the bottom, regardless of what they actually are, but you're are right that in this case it is assumed that he has those skills and he doesn't need to include them and be redundant.

 
quarterzip:
4. Don't use periods at the end of a bullet point sentence.
5. Make the margins a lot more narrow.
6. There just seems to be a lot of white space in general. I don't know why I think that but I just do, and that not a good thing.
Wanted to clarify some of these points. 4. It really doesn't matter. Periods at the end of a bullet point are perfectly acceptable; you just need to be consistent with usage. 5. We mean the side margins. Top/bottom margins are fine. 6. There's not ENOUGH white space for me. There is a lot of MARGIN space, but the spacing between the headers and the paragraphs, between bullet point sections, etc. is nonexistent. You NEED to put spaces before your headers. It looks horrible otherwise. Move Skills to bottom and condense it greatly. You can also remove volunteer experience. Not really relevant.
Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 

More substantively, on this bullet:

"Speculated on WTI Crude and USD to assist CFO in mitigating FX risk and facilitating international commodity transactions"

I think the potential recruiter/hiring manager might be put off by the word "speculated." Yes, you assisted the CFO, but maybe you want to write it differently. Can you think of another verb that would work that shows a more positive influence on the project and on the firm?

To me, I would think that researching, trading, investing, or positioning might be something someone would hire you for. Unless you do want to be hired as a speculator, which seems a bit dodgy. But I could be reading it all wrong.

Betsy Massar Come see me at my Q&A thread http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/b-school-qa-w-betsy-massar-of-master-admissions Ask away!
 

I would expand more on your most recent experience. Your skills section should probably be removed unless you have some hard skills or certifications, although I get your probably hurting to take up space as those your age dont have much. I also think the Month - Month 2015 looks a little weird I would change it to Month 2015 - Month 2015.

 

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