Junior for IB SA - Applying Monday!!

TFL here, a junior non-target looking for a summer analyst IB internship. What follows is my little story. If you don't care, please don't read it. Just click on my resume and revel in the sweet smell of a fresh pdf.

As the title says, I'm going to be applying for some positions on Monday. I realize it's only October, but I wanted to set a deadline for myself and apply to a few MM / boutiques before they get flooded with apps. This resume has gone through many revisions, and I think it's pretty good as it is.

But pretty good doesn't get the internship.

After nearly a year safely tucked away on my HD, I now release my resume to the cold, ruthless land that is WSO resume review. My hope is that it comes out stronger, and I've placed an ice pack in the freezer for the soon-to-be bruise on my ego.

Attachment Size
Resume.pdf 109.43 KB 109.43 KB
 
Best Response

Where is your GPA? And your first bullet says: "Had to come up with an optimal pricing...." That is so informal. Put "Constructed/built/created an optimal pricing...." It just sounds like you literally typed that up in a matte of seconds.Your first bullet for your American Psycho thing doesn't make any sense. I had to read it twice to even understand what you were trying to say. Rephrase that. Your second bullet is retarded. "As has happened under one of the organization's previous leaderships." Why would you have that on your resume, and it doesnt even make sense. Why isnt your third bullet point in past tense for that section like the rest are? Make it consistent. Why dont you have a location for those challenges you completed? It must have been somewhere, right? It looks like you are not analytical enough to notice that only one position has the location and the rest dont. For your most recent internship at that 3D printing place, your second bullet is way too long and also has very poor grammar. You go from using one form of past tense, to a different one. Make that consistent, and break that bullet out. It shouldnt be longer than two lines. Capitalize the O in object Pascal at the bottom....

Theres a lot of errors with this resume, and you can probably tell I am not in the best mood as it is, so I am taking it out on you. Your grammar is pretty poor on paper, and if I read this I would probably think very low about your intellectual capabilities. You have some work to do here.

"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest." - Benjamin Franklin
 

SLABS... by the nature of your comments, I think you posted comments for another resume. GPA is the first bullet, and I never worked at a 3D printing company.

 
TFL:

SLABS... by the nature of your comments, I think you posted comments for another resume. GPA is the first bullet, and I never worked at a 3D printing company.

When i click on your resume, it does not show a GPA and you have your first experience listed as "Additive Manufacturing Firm." That is another term for 3D printing.... Maybe there is a technical error with WSO right now, but when I click your pdf, that is the resume I see.
"An investment in knowledge pays the best interest." - Benjamin Franklin
 

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