Late night show with Associate Kim

Frank Sinatra once said: "alcohol may be a man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy"

Daniel Kim - my associate lives by these words. You know when you celebrate a deal with a couple of drinks afterwards? Kim prefers to spread the celebration per slide completed on his pitch books. "If James Bond can save the world while submerged in Vodka Martinis, then the least I can do is raise glass to raising capital." He often prides himself on being a renaissance man, I think he's just a connoisseur of cheap Korean liquor. I remember one time, I arrived at my desk and took a sip of my coffee to find out that it had made the lateral to an Irish Car Bomb. He broke out laughing but the joke was on him, I drank it anyways, Summer Analysts don't waste alcohol, especially whiskey.

One evening Kim was staffed on a deal at one a.m. in the morning. The SA's saw the expression on his face: eyes rolled back, skin permeating a red-glow as if foreshadowing the intoxication that was to come, and that he was going to miss his tinder date with the humpback whale he swiped with earlier. I had no idea how he was able to keep his drinking habits under the radar from senior bankers, he wasn't a Ninja despite having lineage to the "Teishin Shudan" a kamikaze air-division during WWII. Although his mother's side was Japanese, his father's is Korean and made sure to illuminate the atrocities committed by the Japanese forces. "My lust for the Devil's water can be attributed to the internal conflict taking place in my bloodstream every fucking day."

Right on queue as his VP exited the building, Kim slammed the bottom drawer open, vigorously unscrewed the cap to his protein jar, and pulled out a Yamazaki Sherry Cask -- more expensive than the Omega Speedmaster sported on his wrist. It was going to be a long night and he walked over and poured all four SA's a shot. "This is equivalent to more than you'll make today boys and girls.. so bottoms up!" Personally, this was going to be the start of a great night, especially since I wasn't in his group but I drew a connection that if I stayed, we might finish the entire bottle.

Hours passed by and about every 15 minutes, Kim came by and poured everyone a drink. "Yo ostrich, what the fuck are you even working on?" it didn't even matter what I was working on you bitch (I was watching Game of Thrones), because I had caught Kim a few days earlier watching a youtube tutorial on how to speak to white women. I should have just blackmailed him and taken the entire bottle for myself, but then I would have no one to go to lunch with.

... to be continued

 

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