Life Tragedies

I just learned today that one of my friends from my college was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The doctor gave him 3 more months to live, max, and they couldn't really do anything about his disease.

My friend is a very cool, outgoing, and genuinely nice dude who is very smart and works extremely hard. It is just so sad that he is in his mid-twenties, locked down a good job in finance, and has been working hard to build his career and get this death sentence out of nowhere, at such a young age.

For the first time in years, I cried like a little girl because I felt so pissed about this whole situation. Have any of you known close friends, family members, or coworkers who encountered a life-changing tragedy, such as being diagnosed with incurable disease, at a relatively young age? I used to think that at our age, we can just go about our business and not really worry about health that much. I mean, as long as we don't smoke, stay away from drugs, don't eat junk food all the time, and don't drink excessively we should be fine, right? Wrong. Today, I was reminded of how fragile our lives can be.

 

My condolences. I have been through a very similar situation, and know how the pain goes straight into your bones. Just be supportive as you can, and respect your friend's wishes. That may mean that he will not want to see you going forward. Everyone deals with it differently.

For me, there was big silver lining in it. For the first time ever I understood that the image of me spending my 70's by a pool in Florida is just an abstraction. It doesn't exist, as there are no guarantees in life. I always understood the importance of the idea of living in present, but it took a tragic death for me to actually truly understand it. The reaper waits for no one, live life your terms... Hopefully, you'll take out a similar message. Best of luck.

Please don't quote Patrick Bateman.
 

Thanks for the kind reply. I was honestly at loss of words for my friend today. It would be another thing if he had lived at least 50 years and got this disease. Getting something like this in 20's is just freaking brutal.

Following my friend's misfortune, I've decided today that I will be more watchful of my diet, exercise more often, and cut down the drinking. If you are unlucky, or born with bad genes that are conducive to getting a cancer, etc, you can't really do anything about it. But, I think it is all about managing the risk and trying our best to minimize the probability that something horrible happens to us.

 
Going Concern:

Sounds like you still don't realize that the world is really fucked up. There's really nothing you can do about it.

Sorry about your friend.

Yup. I knew that this world we live in is fucked up, and in many cases, there is no justice.

However, today this reality just hit in my face, hard.

What I've been disappointed with is the lack of progress in medicine. There are SO many diseases/ illnesses that doctors can't cure at all. I mean, we can now cure chicken pox, TB, some colds, and... not really much else. I mean, even a bad case of flu shakes the community of medicine.

Any semi-serious medical condition is basically incurable. I find this to be extremely frustrating. Cancer, diabetes, paralysis, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, HIV, COPD, multiple sclerosis, profound deafness, and the list goes on. Hell, we can't even successfully cure a random non-life threatening disease such as Herpes.

 
Going Concern:

Sounds like you still don't realize that the world is really fucked up. There's really nothing you can do about it.

Sorry about your friend.

Knowing in your head and experiencing are radically different. Most people don't think things like this will happen to them or their friends/family and they certainly don't know how they will react when it (inevitably) does. Intellectually, we all know we will die, but I doubt anyone can predict exactly how they would feel when a doctor told them they have 3 months to live, at most.

IvyGrad -- sorry about your friend. I've had some people close to me die younger than they should have. As weird as this may sound, when I think about the incredibly small odds that they were ever able to be alive in the first place, it makes me appreciate the fact that I was able to enjoy time with them while they were alive. Most likely that won't help you too much until about a year after they have passed (if at all). But, try to enjoy whatever time is left with your friend while you can.

 
SirTradesaLot:

Sounds like you still don't realize that the world is really fucked up. There's really nothing you can do about it.

Sorry about your friend.

Knowing in your head and experiencing are radically different. Most people don't think things like this will happen to them or their friends/family and they certainly don't know how they will react when it (inevitably) does.

That is true. The true knowing follows from the experiencing.
 

There's nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9) in this world:

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring." Proverbs 27:1

"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:13-14

The immutable laws of mankind, observed since the beginning of civilization. :'(

 
Best Response
IvyGrad:

Following my friend's misfortune, I've decided today that I will be more watchful of my diet, exercise more often, and cut down the drinking. If you are unlucky, or born with bad genes that are conducive to getting a cancer, etc, you can't really do anything about it. But, I think it is all about managing the risk and trying our best to minimize the probability that something horrible happens to us.

To preface this, my condolences and it is very unfortunate - same thing happened to a friend of a friend and it effectively put everyone down for a good year.

That having been said, look: if you live your entire life in fear because of one event, that's a bit weird. Don't let something like this get to you and change your entire outlook on life - things like this happen all the time, and you're going to have to live and cope with it.

Just think of the 9/11 attacks and how many people (I knew quite a few personally) who lost family members, friends, etc. These people were strong and didn't let it change the way they lived; if anything, it motivated them more. The second you lose focus and give in to the fear, you lose.

"so i herd u liek mudkipz" - sum kid "I'd watergun the **** outta that." - Kassad
 

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