Lonely and depressed during internship
(Senior Orangutan, 481
Points)
on 7/23/12 at 3:00am
I'm supposed to be doing this 6 week internship at a boutique bank starting next week, but I already feel miserable. I just moved to a new city a few days ago to start the internship, and it's so lonely. I live in a studio by myself, I'm not in a college town, I miss my friends and family, and the thought of being here alone for the next month and a half makes me want to die. It's my sophomore summer, and I thought it would be an amazing opportunity to spend 6 weeks here working and learning and just spending all my time getting ready for recruiting - but I never took account how hard it is to be productive when you're miserable as hell.
Anyone been through this before?
Have you ever been away from
Have you ever been away from your family for an extended period of time before? At some point, you will need to get used to it.
Making new friends is easy, unless you make it hard.
I wish I could help you more, but I have never been homesick since my immediate family and friends are scattered around the world.
Try to join a gym for the 6 weeks, and look forward to showing off how you've changed and grown from your experiences during your 6 weeks away from home.
And for what it's worth, I think you're feeling this way because it's the first days. Usually, after a couple of days you will get used to the routine, and when your 6 weeks are up you will be somewhat sad to leave. Grass is always greener my friend.
Good luck!
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I understand if this is your
I understand if this is your first time living alone. But for God's sake get over it.
I started living alone since grade 11 in HS. Yea, I felt lonely sometimes (cooking my own food and shit) but after few weeks it was all good.
You'll be fine. Especially when you are busy, you don't have time to think about little things.
Quit IB, work as a barber in
Quit IB, work as a barber in your hometown
OR
Grow some balls, you are there to work not to have fun time at the beach
"Every man should lose a battle in his youth, so he does not lose a war when he is old"
It's not that I'm living
It's not that I'm living alone, it's that I don't know a single person in this city and there's no way for me to get to know anyone either. My family lives on the other side of the world, and everyone I'm close to is gone. I guess I need to find ways to keep myself busy.
Boreed: Have you ever been
Have you ever been away from your family for an extended period of time before? At some point, you will need to get used to it.
Making new friends is easy, unless you make it hard.
I wish I could help you more, but I have never been homesick since my immediate family and friends are scattered around the world.
Try to join a gym for the 6 weeks, and look forward to showing off how you've changed and grown from your experiences during your 6 weeks away from home.
And for what it's worth, I think you're feeling this way because it's the first days. Usually, after a couple of days you will get used to the routine, and when your 6 weeks are up you will be somewhat sad to leave. Grass is always greener my friend.
Good luck!
+1, might go find another random post of yours and SB it because this deserves +2.
The first few days are the hardest - if you're still feeling this way in 2 weeks that's probably when it starts becoming more of a problem. I don't know what type of person you are but I recommend just putting yourself out there and seeing what good can come of it. Definitely get a membership at a gym or something, maybe even try to meet some people there, or at the bar (I know you're a sophomore so whatever the equivalent hang-out spot may be) or wherever. You don't really have much to lose, so putting yourself out there can only surprise you to the upside. I went through a similar stretch where I was alone and really hated everything around me, but kind of forcing myself to go out there and make the best of it really helped out, even if it sounds cliche.
I hate victims who respect their executioners
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Just keep in mind that most
Just keep in mind that most of your other classmates aren't having the same opportunity as you (working in a boutique). Use it well.
By the way, just go to a local coffee shop and sit there. Who knows, maybe you'll meet your future wife.
i'm going to assume you're in
i'm going to assume you're in a city. check out cool bars and restaurants, sample the nightlife and enjoy the cultural scenery. go online and find some meetups if you're a sports fan.
think of it as a brand new slate. nobody knows you so you can be whoever you want to be. Act like a BSD and nobody's the wiser.
yeah i'm in a city, but a
yeah i'm in a city, but a shitty one. i'll just kill time in the gym or whatnot i suppose. hopefully things will change once the week starts
You're only miserable because
You're only miserable because you haven't started work yet. Relish the fact that you have all this free time--hit the gym, go explore the new city, go for a walk, and cook some meals in advance for your job start. Read a book, start learning a new language, go enjoy a movie.
Think of when you are super busy during the semester--there are tons of other things you wish you were doing with your time--do those things now while you have time.... your life will turn upside-down if you're working in a 100 hr/week job.
...And don't worry. This feeling is normal for the first couple of trips away from home. You feel unplugged from your roots. But trust as your travel more, grow up, and experience more unfamiliar places and people, you won't feel depressed about it. You'll just get out there and make friends, and begin to build a home for yourself.
Life is not a "brief candle." It is a splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations
I hear you man. Only intern
I hear you man. Only intern at my bank, youngest person other than me is 26, building is filled with people who are either younger than 21/have tons of friends from back home or from school interning in the city/have a bf/gf that literally comes up every weekend. You've just gotta be proactive in going out and meeting people even though the situation sucks.
Go sample stores in the area and talk to people. Check out famous places locally and talk to people there. Visit museums and get tickets to sporting events. It's all about the law of large numbers. Obviously you'll run into your fair share of douchebags/bitchy girls, but there are lots of people in the same situation and looking to meet new people too. You should try and do some networking, especially with people in your city. That's another way and it'll help your career out too.
If that doesn't sound appealing you can always try and spend a lot of your time prepping for interviews or whatever. If you do it now you'll have more time to hang out with family and friends when you're at school and back home.
notaspammer, sounds like the
notaspammer, sounds like the exact same situation as me. I'm the only intern here as well and everyone at my bank is way older. I've always been extremely opposed to doing anything by myself (going out to eat, watching movies, getting coffee) since I've been surrounded by people my whole life - but I guess part of growing up is figuring out how to sustain yourself independently.
Yeah. I generally don't like
Yeah. I generally don't like doing things by myself either. It's tough breaking out of your comfort zone but a lot of the time you're happy you did it in the end.
You'll be fine once works
You'll be fine once works starts because that will take up most of your time. when you do have some free time, explore like some of the people mentioned above. Don't stay at home in your studio...get out there!
...in other words, what are you doing on WSO when you are in a new city with no job?
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True, I guess this may be my
True, I guess this may be my last few days of freedom for a while. Hopefully I don't completely dread the job, and things will get better
It's tough, particularly if
It's tough, particularly if you're striking out on your own for the first real time, but the ball is in your court and the results rest squarely on your shoulders. You get a completely clean slate -- how many times have all of us wished we could just hit a magical reset button and forget the baggage we carry in all the relationships we have with those around us, cut the monkey off our back and just be our natural selves? You get to do exactly that. No one there knows you; that has absolutely incredible upside potential, not downside.
Be smart, friendly, and genuine. You don't even have to worry about forcing yourself to become outgoing, because with those traits people will be drawn to you regardless of your environment. You'll make new drinking buddies, new girls to mess around with, and you get to do it all in a completely risk-less environment: you have an automatic parachute only six weeks later.
This is the perfect chance to do everything you ever wanted to with minimal/no repercussions. Then when you come back, everyone who knew you will quietly be amazed with the 'new' you, but you can be completely secure knowing it's not new, it's simply who you naturally are.
Really swing for the fences. I went through a very similar situation, except it was me moving away for school. I remember waking up every day by sophomore or junior year just amazed at how different my life had become ... and also how frustrated I was whenever I went back to visit family and everyone still saw me in the same light as when I left years before. You are in control now.
A lot of people do certain things to add days to their life. I do things to add life to my days.
check out the art scene...
relinquis... Killing the GMAT this December; Over/Under set at: 725 GMATs.
APAE: You'll make new
To the starving man, beans are caviar
I interned abroad (out of the
Charles-perry: Girls make you
I hate victims who respect their executioners
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.....
Sounds like your homesick
As others have said once work
True but the joy women
never went to summer
I relocated at least 5 times.
arguewithatree: I'm supposed
See my other WSO blog posts
Get out there and explore the
I'm in a similar situation in
If you're from a small town
Yea i'm lonely and miss my
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum.
All asshole comments aside,
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum.
Routine, routine, routine. I
Hey - I can identify with
Haha, don't worry! This will
bankerella: arguewithatree:
relinquis... Killing the GMAT this December; Over/Under set at: 725 GMATs.
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See my other WSO blog posts
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relinquis... Killing the GMAT this December; Over/Under set at: 725 GMATs.
Relinquis: Have you ever
See my other WSO blog posts
bankerella: [...] Did you not
relinquis... Killing the GMAT this December; Over/Under set at: 725 GMATs.
Hey guys, just wanted to
Relinquis: bankerella: [...
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relinquis... Killing the GMAT this December; Over/Under set at: 725 GMATs.
Relinquis: bankerella: Re
See my other WSO blog posts
check out okcupid. works in
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relinquis... Killing the GMAT this December; Over/Under set at: 725 GMATs.
haha thank you relinquish for
Hey there!! I think you
Hey there!! I think you