Lonely and depressed during internship

Have you ever been away from your family for an extended period of time before? At some point, you will need to get used to it.

Making new friends is easy, unless you make it hard.

I wish I could help you more, but I have never been homesick since my immediate family and friends are scattered around the world.

Try to join a gym for the 6 weeks, and look forward to showing off how you've changed and grown from your experiences during your 6 weeks away from home.

And for what it's worth, I think you're feeling this way because it's the first days. Usually, after a couple of days you will get used to the routine, and when your 6 weeks are up you will be somewhat sad to leave. Grass is always greener my friend.

Good luck!

I understand if this is your first time living alone. But for God's sake get over it. I started living alone since grade 11 in HS. Yea, I felt lonely sometimes (cooking my own food and shit) but after few weeks it was all good.

You'll be fine. Especially when you are busy, you don't have time to think about little things.

Quit IB, work as a barber in your hometown

OR

Grow some balls, you are there to work not to have fun time at the beach

It's not that I'm living alone, it's that I don't know a single person in this city and there's no way for me to get to know anyone either. My family lives on the other side of the world, and everyone I'm close to is gone. I guess I need to find ways to keep myself busy.

Just keep in mind that most of your other classmates aren't having the same opportunity as you (working in a boutique). Use it well.

By the way, just go to a local coffee shop and sit there. Who knows, maybe you'll meet your future wife.

i'm going to assume you're in a city. check out cool bars and restaurants, sample the nightlife and enjoy the cultural scenery. go online and find some meetups if you're a sports fan.

think of it as a brand new slate. nobody knows you so you can be whoever you want to be. Act like a BSD and nobody's the wiser.

yeah i'm in a city, but a shitty one. i'll just kill time in the gym or whatnot i suppose. hopefully things will change once the week starts

You're only miserable because you haven't started work yet. Relish the fact that you have all this free time--hit the gym, go explore the new city, go for a walk, and cook some meals in advance for your job start. Read a book, start learning a new language, go enjoy a movie.

Think of when you are super busy during the semester--there are tons of other things you wish you were doing with your time--do those things now while you have time.... your life will turn upside-down if you're working in a 100 hr/week job.

...And don't worry. This feeling is normal for the first couple of trips away from home. You feel unplugged from your roots. But trust as your travel more, grow up, and experience more unfamiliar places and people, you won't feel depressed about it. You'll just get out there and make friends, and begin to build a home for yourself.

I hear you man. Only intern at my bank, youngest person other than me is 26, building is filled with people who are either younger than 21/have tons of friends from back home or from school interning in the city/have a bf/gf that literally comes up every weekend. You've just gotta be proactive in going out and meeting people even though the situation sucks.

Go sample stores in the area and talk to people. Check out famous places locally and talk to people there. Visit museums and get tickets to sporting events. It's all about the law of large numbers. Obviously you'll run into your fair share of douchebags/bitchy girls, but there are lots of people in the same situation and looking to meet new people too. You should try and do some networking, especially with people in your city. That's another way and it'll help your career out too.

If that doesn't sound appealing you can always try and spend a lot of your time prepping for interviews or whatever. If you do it now you'll have more time to hang out with family and friends when you're at school and back home.

notaspammer, sounds like the exact same situation as me. I'm the only intern here as well and everyone at my bank is way older. I've always been extremely opposed to doing anything by myself (going out to eat, watching movies, getting coffee) since I've been surrounded by people my whole life - but I guess part of growing up is figuring out how to sustain yourself independently.

Yeah. I generally don't like doing things by myself either. It's tough breaking out of your comfort zone but a lot of the time you're happy you did it in the end.

You'll be fine once works starts because that will take up most of your time. when you do have some free time, explore like some of the people mentioned above. Don't stay at home in your studio...get out there!

...in other words, what are you doing on WSO when you are in a new city with no job?

True, I guess this may be my last few days of freedom for a while. Hopefully I don't completely dread the job, and things will get better

It's tough, particularly if you're striking out on your own for the first real time, but the ball is in your court and the results rest squarely on your shoulders. You get a completely clean slate -- how many times have all of us wished we could just hit a magical reset button and forget the baggage we carry in all the relationships we have with those around us, cut the monkey off our back and just be our natural selves? You get to do exactly that. No one there knows you; that has absolutely incredible upside potential, not downside.

Be smart, friendly, and genuine. You don't even have to worry about forcing yourself to become outgoing, because with those traits people will be drawn to you regardless of your environment. You'll make new drinking buddies, new girls to mess around with, and you get to do it all in a completely risk-less environment: you have an automatic parachute only six weeks later.

This is the perfect chance to do everything you ever wanted to with minimal/no repercussions. Then when you come back, everyone who knew you will quietly be amazed with the 'new' you, but you can be completely secure knowing it's not new, it's simply who you naturally are.

Really swing for the fences. I went through a very similar situation, except it was me moving away for school. I remember waking up every day by sophomore or junior year just amazed at how different my life had become ... and also how frustrated I was whenever I went back to visit family and everyone still saw me in the same light as when I left years before. You are in control now.

check out the art scene... art girls tend to be good looking.

I interned abroad (out of the continent) for 8 weeks... felt weird for the first week but yeah you have to be social otherwise it gets miserable pretty quick. by week 2 i loved it! And go to a bar or something and find a girl. Im serious. Girls make you forget everything. haha

.....

Sounds like your homesick bro. Make yourself some tea and sit down and watch every episode of Suits. It will take your mind off things.

As others have said once work starts, you won't even have time to think about anything else.

never went to summer camp..............? sigh

I relocated at least 5 times. Grow some balls and man the fuck up!

arguewithatree:

I'm supposed to be doing this 6 week internship at a boutique bank starting next week, but I already feel miserable. I just moved to a new city a few days ago to start the internship, and it's so lonely. I live in a studio by myself, I'm not in a college town, I miss my friends and family, and the thought of being here alone for the next month and a half makes me want to die. It's my sophomore summer, and I thought it would be an amazing opportunity to spend 6 weeks here working and learning and just spending all my time getting ready for recruiting - but I never took account how hard it is to be productive when you're miserable as hell.

Anyone been through this before?

This must be where all of us from shitty personal backgrounds say, "WTF is lonely? WTF is homesick?"

And from my personal perspective, six weeks of misery is nothing more than a brief warmup for the two years of full-on analyst hell you'll get... IF you are successful.

And come on, six weeks? Internships are supposed to be twelve weeks of misery. (Oops. I meant to say "a great twelve-week experience".) Ten at the shortest. What, did you shorten the summer so you could go back and spend more time with your folks?

I'm really sorry to rain on your pity parade, dude. I know you're just nineteen or twenty or something like that. But back when I was interning in college, pretty much everyone had figured this out and was able to leave the nest without it making them want to die. You gotta man up (regardless of what gender you are) and remember that regardless of your emotional condition, your performance has to be consistent and spectacular.

Get out there and explore the city, go on meetup.com and find a book club/sports league/whatever, invite friends from back home to visit for the weekend, etc. Just enjoy yourself, it's a cool opportunity and only six weeks at that. If you don't take advantage of it you'll really regret it once you get back to school and especially after you start working.

I'm in a similar situation in a shitty city with shitty public transportation, and it sucked initially. But I made some friends and I've been going out hiking and camping almost every weekend, and hwne I don't I get miserable too. Just keep yourself busy.

If you're from a small town like me, where kids from high school never amounted to much, then log onto Facebook and look at how pathetic their lives are and be thankful that you decided to 1. not have a kid, 2. get out of your hometown, and 3. get on a path to make something of your career. That usually helps me feel a lot better about my life choices, maybe it will help you as well. Your friends and family will always be there, just give them a call if you need to every now and then.

Yea i'm lonely and miss my family too but you have it way worse. I'm just in Afghanistan. Feel for you man. Stay strong.

All asshole comments aside, be thankful for the amazing opportunity that you have at your feet. All the advice that was shared is completely spot on. The life experience you will net in the coming 6 weeks is invaluable. Savor it. There are a ton of bright kids that would give anything for the opportunity you have. Your sad/lonely/unsure now. In 6 weeks you'll gained life/work experience, industry contacts, and probably an appreciation for home cooked meals. Apply yourself and you'll do great.

Routine, routine, routine.

I found myself in a rut when i was transfered from SF to LA and the soulution i felt was this: 1.Gym 2. Becomming a "usual" at a bar or resturaunt, you meet people much easier making you seem approachable to other people 3.Meditate 4.Stay positive-silver linning

Hey - I can identify with being in your situation. NYC is actually an incredibly lonely city if you don't know anyone. People are doing their own thing and it's so congested some don't want to be bothered.

Some good ways to socialize with similar people - www.couchsurfing.org. Although it's for travelers worldwide who need a place to crash - they actually host a ton of events in NYC and you met tons of european / latin backpackers and local NYCers who host them. There are tons of NYC groups all doing stuff from central park to bike rides in Brooklyn. On that note..you can even do meetup.com but i've never gone to any meetings.

Lastly, pick up a Time Out. I traveled the world for a year by myself in Latin America, Africa and Europe. If you can't have fun on your own...no one will. Grab a book..go grab drinks...see a play. Grow a little.

You live in a great city - enjoy it. You don't need friends every moment to enjoy it.

Haha, don't worry! This will pass. I remember when I moved down for my first internship, and it was exactly what you described! I'm inherently a social person, and living in a studio was not ideal for me either. It was soooo boring. In the words of my Irish family, "have a few drinks and go to bed." PM me if you need some pointers.

Hey guys, just wanted to update you all on the situation. It's only been a few days since I started work and it has already gotten A LOT better. I followed the advice on here and forced myself to go out of my way to go out and try to meet people. The other interns are pretty cool, and it's starting to feel a bit smoother already. I'm still not sure what to do when I get off in the evenings, given I'm too tired to go out but it gets depressing to stay home. I'm sure there will be work to do at home eventually too though.

What's making me feel the best though is that you guys were absolutely right about this being an opportunity to be someone new. I usually find the first few days of a new job awkward but I've been forcing myself into meetings and asking questions (which is unlike me!) but it's been helping a lot. Thanks for all the advice, this is why WSO is so great.

Quick question though, I haven't been assigned a project yet but I get asked to help out with whatever the other analysts are doing at the moment. There are a few periods though where I have nothing to do at all...what do you recommend I do to look like I'm not slacking off? Research? Stare at models?

check out okcupid. works in every city.