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I know this topic is not related to admissions so my apologies in advance if it's not in the right forum.

I am currently in a relationship with a great girl; we've been dating for about 2 years, and even though marriage is not something that's on my mind yet, i could definitely see myself marrying this girl. She applied to business schools during round 1, and I did applications for round 2, for mba as well as mfin. She was lucky enough to get into her first choice and already sent in her deposit, so there's no ambiguity on where she will end up this fall. On my end though, i'm interviewing, and if i don't get into that school i will have to go elsewhere. I also applied to a few european mfin programs, so depending on my options it could become a real long-distance thing.

Question and concerns. From what I have heard from different people, conventional wisdom seems to be that if you and your significant other are going to be in different schools, it's simply not going to work out. I think there's a term called "black friday" or "black october?" To what extent is this true? I would love to hear serious responses from people who may have been in similar situations.

Thanks a lot.

Comments (84)

  • Asatar's picture

    Depends on the strength of your relationship, trust in each other, communication etc. In general though it's always going to be a lot harder to maintain one where you barely ever see each other. You need to ask yourselves the following:

    • Do you trust each other to go out partying with the opposite sex with no "chaperone" (for want of a better word)?
    • Are you both willing to spend the time and money to fly out to see each other?
    • Can you both cope with just speaking on the phone for a few weeks / months at a time?
    • Can you feasibly see yourselves living together / close by again after business school or is this going to be long-term long-distance?
  • WallStreetOasis.com's picture

    just take a break for business school and if you guys both want to end up together after it will happen. Think of it as your last 2 years of freedom for the rest of your life and enjoy.

    relationships can last, but the ones that are long distance in b school, they are few and far between....i saw several MARRIAGES crumble in b school. You are back in a fun / college atmosphere, so not having your significant other there to enjoy that with you is very tough.

    it most definitely wont last if you are already worried about Black friday...i think you should also ask yourself why you think she is so willing to move away from you...has she encouraged you to apply to programs in the area or been more open to you being away?

    If it's the latter I'd save yourself a lot of pain and anguish and have a mature conversation now about the future. so many people just roll through lives and stay in relationships because it's comfortable...not a good reason to be with someone. And you sound too young to get married, so at least you have your head straight there....

    Best of Luck man!

  • In reply to WallStreetOasis.com
    mbavsmfin's picture

    WallStreetOasis.com wrote:
    just take a break for business school and if you guys both want to end up together after it will happen. Think of it as your last 2 years of freedom for the rest of your life and enjoy.

    relationships can last, but the ones that are long distance in b school, they are few and far between....i saw several MARRIAGES crumble in b school. You are back in a fun / college atmosphere, so not having your significant other there to enjoy that with you is very tough.

    it most definitely wont last if you are already worried about Black friday...i think you should also ask yourself why you think she is so willing to move away from you...has she encouraged you to apply to programs in the area or been more open to you being away?

    If it's the latter I'd save yourself a lot of pain and anguish and have a mature conversation now about the future. so many people just roll through lives and stay in relationships because it's comfortable...not a good reason to be with someone. And you sound too young to get married, so at least you have your head straight there....

    Best of Luck man!

    Thanks for this rather sobering and realistic assessment. Holy cow. You actually saw marriages crumble in b-schools?

    Well, my gf is going to her first choice school, and she's obviously not going to alter that because of me, nor do i want her to. Ideally i will get in as well, and none of this would be an issue, but this has been burning in my brain lately.

    I'm not going to lie; I'm definitely insecure about black friday. My feelings for her are a bit more intense than vice versa, but more to the point, I do worry that if we end up at different schools she's going to meet someone who's more successful than me and do a "trade-up". I know it's insecurity speaking here, but I would be lying if I said otherwise. Either way, I think we will need to have a serious conversation about this once I find out my results.

  • In reply to WallStreetOasis.com
    SirTradesaLot's picture

    WallStreetOasis.com wrote:

    it most definitely wont last if you are already worried about Black friday...i think you should also ask yourself why you think she is so willing to move away from you...has she encouraged you to apply to programs in the area or been more open to you being away?

    If it's the latter I'd save yourself a lot of pain and anguish and have a mature conversation now about the future. so many people just roll through lives and stay in relationships because it's comfortable...not a good reason to be with someone.


    this. If you guys were really going to be married, you'd figure out a better arrangement. It's already done in my book...rip the band aid off and get it over with. 2 years is too long to be with someone who you're not sure about.

    adapt or die wrote:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • abacab's picture

    I have seen several girls trading down to a lower school to come with bf/husband. With exactly similar (or even slightly lower) profile, a female will always get in at better schools than male. Making the compromise is where the rubber hits the road (e.g. lets say both of you are career oriented, who will be the one giving up first to raise the kids. You need one to stay at home in most cases). But yeah, have seen breakups, including engagements haha.

  • In reply to FrankD'anconia
    packmate's picture

    FrankD'anconia wrote:
    This thread will be a good way to see what screen name Brady's using these days

    What if Brady is really SirTradeAlot? the greatest plot twist in WSO history.

  • In reply to packmate
    SirTradesaLot's picture

    packmate wrote:
    FrankD'anconia wrote:
    This thread will be a good way to see what screen name Brady's using these days

    What if Brady is really SirTradeAlot? the greatest plot twist in WSO history.

    That would be awesome. Like rabbits!

    After rereading what is undoubtedly the most entertaining thread in WSO history, it would be especially awesome if it was true.
    http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/e-mail-from-...

    There are tons of highlights in this thread, but my favorite is the one between Brady4MVP and one of his known aliases 'derivatives'.

    adapt or die wrote:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

    MY BLOG

  • TeddyTheBear's picture

    The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.

  • In reply to SirTradesaLot
    Culcet's picture

    SirTradesaLot wrote:
    WallStreetOasis.com wrote:

    it most definitely wont last if you are already worried about Black friday...i think you should also ask yourself why you think she is so willing to move away from you...has she encouraged you to apply to programs in the area or been more open to you being away?

    If it's the latter I'd save yourself a lot of pain and anguish and have a mature conversation now about the future. so many people just roll through lives and stay in relationships because it's comfortable...not a good reason to be with someone.


    this. If you guys were really going to be married, you'd figure out a better arrangement. It's already done in my book...rip the band aid off and get it over with. 2 years is too long to be with someone who you're not sure about.

    Real talk.

  • In reply to TeddyTheBear
    mbavsmfin's picture

    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.

    These are fair points.

    1. I think the reason it didn't come up is because there is so much uncertainty since I do not have official admission results yet. I guess both she and I feel that we should address it once I know for a fact where I will be attending. As a side note, I was unable to apply round 1 due to some personal issues, and although she was willing to wait until round 2 for my sake, I told her to go ahead and get it over with since she was ready to apply then.

    2. I agree that relationships entail sacrifices. But we're not married or engaged, and the type of sacrifice I would be asking her to make (assuming i don't get into that school) is simply too much and unfair to her professional ambitions. She worked hard to get in, so that is simply not an option.

  • In reply to mbavsmfin
    TeddyTheBear's picture

    mbavsmfin wrote:
    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.

    These are fair points.

    1. I think the reason it didn't come up is because there is so much uncertainty since I do not have official admission results yet. I guess both she and I feel that we should address it once I know for a fact where I will be attending. As a side note, I was unable to apply round 1 due to some personal issues, and although she was willing to wait until round 2 for my sake, I told her to go ahead and get it over with since she was ready to apply then.

    2. I agree that relationships entail sacrifices. But we're not married or engaged, and the type of sacrifice I would be asking her to make (assuming i don't get into that school) is simply too much and unfair to her professional ambitions. She worked hard to get in, so that is simply not an option.

    Normally, I would agree with you, but you did say this "and even though marriage is not something that's on my mind yet, i could definitely see myself marrying this girl."

    I would take a step back and reassess your situation. The fact that you are also scared she will meet someone else and fall in love while in school just shows she is not the type of girl you would want. Do you really plan on being with someone who can't trust to be loyal to you? You need to answer this on your own.

  • In reply to TeddyTheBear
    mbavsmfin's picture

    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    mbavsmfin wrote:
    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.

    These are fair points.

    1. I think the reason it didn't come up is because there is so much uncertainty since I do not have official admission results yet. I guess both she and I feel that we should address it once I know for a fact where I will be attending. As a side note, I was unable to apply round 1 due to some personal issues, and although she was willing to wait until round 2 for my sake, I told her to go ahead and get it over with since she was ready to apply then.

    2. I agree that relationships entail sacrifices. But we're not married or engaged, and the type of sacrifice I would be asking her to make (assuming i don't get into that school) is simply too much and unfair to her professional ambitions. She worked hard to get in, so that is simply not an option.

    Normally, I would agree with you, but you did say this "and even though marriage is not something that's on my mind yet, i could definitely see myself marrying this girl."

    I would take a step back and reassess your situation. The fact that you are also scared she will meet someone else and fall in love while in school just shows she is not the type of girl you would want. Do you really plan on being with someone who can't trust to be loyal to you? You need to answer this on your own.

    I think my fear is natural. As the poster above me said, he has seen marriages crumble in business schools, and a lot of relationships in general do fall apart due to distance and other issues. I'm sure those couples thought they could handle it by saying something like "ok honey, i'll come up to visit you twice a month, and we'll talk on the phone as often as possible. i love you, and we will make it work." On paper, such loyalty and devotion are touching, but in reality they may simply not be enough.

    Look at it this way. In business school you are surrounded almost 24/7 by your classmates, especially those in your section. Classes, group projects, networking events, clubs, career treks, travels, social events, etc. Such an environment means that the odds of you cheating on your significant other becomes a lot greater due to constant exposure to a group of people. This is basic human psychology and social dynamics. Although I don't think I would cheat on my GF, I cannot say that it would never happen. Stronger men than me have fallen to temptation. And I'm sure she would be tempted too given the right circumstance. It's sad, but it's just the way we humans are.

  • holla_back's picture

    I think I'll be going through a similar situation later this year: my girlfriend is thinking about applying in the fall, and she's pretty set on only attending HBS or maybe GSB (top tier work experience, female, 3.9 from HYP, likely 750+). I'm also applying to business school this year, but there's a pretty good chance that I go 0 for 7 and join the Zero Admit Club (if I do get in anywhere, it'll probably be a school she wouldn't attend).

    Should be an interesting year.

  • Banker88's picture

    Dude stop being a little bitch. Every relationship is different. If you want to stay together then tell her that. If you don't want to, then tell her that. Don't break up pre-emptively with your potential future-wife for fear that she will dump you in business school. She won't dump you to trade up for a guy with a better job, but she might dump you for being a little bitch.

  • Baboom's picture

    Maybe you are just exaggerating and she isn't even going to dump you or cheat on you.

    This happened to me once when the girl I dated went on a long-term (~ 1 yr) business trip. I was very worried and kept thinking if she would cheat or not. However, at some point I just realized (or I just got tired of these thoughts - not sure) that I can't do anything about it and I should just focus on other things that I genuinely enjoy.

    After this my life became much easier, our relationship improved and we dated for 7 months more when she returned.

  • Tximu's picture

    Ok, here is my experience. Hope it helps:

    Started a relationship just 4 months before leaving my home university for an exchange semester in Hong Kong. I did lots of sacrifices like not going to out with friends because I had to skype my girl etc. It worked. Spent 3 awesome years with her. Then, another exchange semester in Taipei. It worked again. Came back home and spent one month of vacation with her. Then left the city after getting a FT position. Started to make plans of leaving together after her graduation, but she didn’t like my new city (even if she NEVER said clearly that se didn’t want to move here). We spent 5 awful months on a long distance relationship. Then I started to like one of my flat mates… We finally broke up and I started to date this new girl.

    I am currently living with the new girl even if roughly dated for 9 months (as I mentioned, we had been flat mates before). Now, I’m considering B-school in Hong Kong. She says that she wants to continue with me and that she is ready for a 2 year long distance relationship. However, I’ve seen this before… and it doesn’t always work…

  • shorttheworld's picture

    Don't know you know that MBA stands for Married But Available? One or the soft white underbellies is that of the MBA is that you hear about all the marriages happening but not the ones falling apart. Or all the married or engaged who are hooking up with people other than your SO

    If you like it then you better put a ring on it

    Oh oh ohhh

  • TonyPerkis's picture

    Pipe City baby

    I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk

  • trazer985's picture

    Hi OP.

    Do you believe in making decisions using the best information available ?

    Are you aware of what the marriage law, and more importantly divorce law looks like in your state?

    If no, consider question 1).

    Reread it, look up the stats over recent years, ask divorced people if they thought it would happen to them, before they were married and remove that thought from your head.

    Then reconsider marriage, and thank me later :)

    Regards

    le SkepTic.

  • CountryUnderdog's picture

    From personal experience, you need to go ahead and cut it off, or tuck it between your legs and stay near her. I left to go to grad school, and we lasted until December; however, it would have been better just to cut it off when I left.

    "They are all former investment bankers that were laid off in the economic collapse that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have no marketable skills, but by God they work hard."

  • TeddyTheBear's picture

    Waiting until round 2 to apply isn't much of sacrifice compared to not going to that school. If she truly cared about you then she would have been willing to alter her choice.

  • snakeplissken's picture

    novice question, but does b-school actually take up that much time? obviously if you go to different schools in different cities, states, countries, continents, etc that is tough, but from what i've heard, b-school isn't nearly as time consuming as a full time job

    Remember, once you're inside you're on your own.
    Oh, you mean I can't count on you?
    No.
    Good!

  • In reply to TeddyTheBear
    mbavsmfin's picture

    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    Waiting until round 2 to apply isn't much of sacrifice compared to not going to that school. If she truly cared about you then she would have been willing to alter her choice.

    No, I was the one who told her to apply round 1. She was willing to wait, but she already had her materials lined up, gmat, recs, etc., and i just told her to go ahead and do it.

  • In reply to snakeplissken
    mbavsmfin's picture

    snakeplissken wrote:
    novice question, but does b-school actually take up that much time? obviously if you go to different schools in different cities, states, countries, continents, etc that is tough, but from what i've heard, b-school isn't nearly as time consuming as a full time job

    B-school basically is a full-time job, at least until you get an offer. The classes themselves aren't that bad, but you have to balance so many commitments and activities that you really learn how to prioritize what's important to you.

  • In reply to SirTradesaLot
    Amphipathic's picture

    SirTradesaLot wrote:
    packmate wrote:
    FrankD'anconia wrote:
    This thread will be a good way to see what screen name Brady's using these days

    What if Brady is really SirTradeAlot? the greatest plot twist in WSO history.

    That would be awesome. Like rabbits!

    After rereading what is undoubtedly the most entertaining thread in WSO history, it would be especially awesome if it was true.
    http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/e-mail-from-...

    There are tons of highlights in this thread, but my favorite is the one between Brady4MVP and one of his known aliases 'derivatives'.

    Just finished rereading this, epic on so many levels...certainly the best thread on here

  • In reply to Amphipathic
    kingfalcon's picture

    Amphipathic wrote:
    SirTradesaLot wrote:
    packmate wrote:
    FrankD'anconia wrote:
    This thread will be a good way to see what screen name Brady's using these days

    What if Brady is really SirTradeAlot? the greatest plot twist in WSO history.

    That would be awesome. Like rabbits!

    After rereading what is undoubtedly the most entertaining thread in WSO history, it would be especially awesome if it was true.
    http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/e-mail-from-...

    There are tons of highlights in this thread, but my favorite is the one between Brady4MVP and one of his known aliases 'derivatives'.

    Just finished rereading this, epic on so many levels...certainly the best thread on here


    Ditto; great read. Thanks for bringing that back up!

  • In reply to Banker88
    mbavsmfin's picture

    Banker88 wrote:
    Dude stop being a little bitch. Every relationship is different. If you want to stay together then tell her that. If you don't want to, then tell her that. Don't break up pre-emptively with your potential future-wife for fear that she will dump you in business school. She won't dump you to trade up for a guy with a better job, but she might dump you for being a little bitch.

    Plenty of successful women trade up; thousands of years of evolution dictates that women are looking for the "better" provider. I mean in my social circle here in NYC, i only know 1 woman who went to top schools, has a great job, and is dating a guy who went to a much worse school and makes less money than her. I understand that the social dynamics of NYC is different from most places in America, but the type of people going to top b-schools sort of share the big city professional culture ethos.

  • In reply to mbavsmfin
    acrew09's picture

    mbavsmfin wrote:
    Banker88 wrote:
    Dude stop being a little bitch. Every relationship is different. If you want to stay together then tell her that. If you don't want to, then tell her that. Don't break up pre-emptively with your potential future-wife for fear that she will dump you in business school. She won't dump you to trade up for a guy with a better job, but she might dump you for being a little bitch.

    Plenty of successful women trade up; thousands of years of evolution dictates that women are looking for the "better" provider. I mean in my social circle here in NYC, i only know 1 woman who went to top schools, has a great job, and is dating a guy who went to a much worse school and makes less money than her. I understand that the social dynamics of NYC is different from most places in America, but the type of people going to top b-schools sort of share the big city professional culture ethos.

    On another thread, didn't you mention that you've received interviews from every program you've applied to? Why worry about other "what ifs" for next fall if all your apps are already going as well as they possibly could. As someone who is also currently applying to bschool, the process is stressful enough, if you go looking for other things to worry about you're just going to give yourself an ulcer. You know your girlfriend, and her proclivity to cheat, a lot better than anyone else on this board. Wait until you know what your options are until you preemptively worry about her breaking up with you.

  • In reply to acrew09
    mbavsmfin's picture

    acrew09 wrote:
    mbavsmfin wrote:
    Banker88 wrote:
    Dude stop being a little bitch. Every relationship is different. If you want to stay together then tell her that. If you don't want to, then tell her that. Don't break up pre-emptively with your potential future-wife for fear that she will dump you in business school. She won't dump you to trade up for a guy with a better job, but she might dump you for being a little bitch.

    Plenty of successful women trade up; thousands of years of evolution dictates that women are looking for the "better" provider. I mean in my social circle here in NYC, i only know 1 woman who went to top schools, has a great job, and is dating a guy who went to a much worse school and makes less money than her. I understand that the social dynamics of NYC is different from most places in America, but the type of people going to top b-schools sort of share the big city professional culture ethos.

    On another thread, didn't you mention that you've received interviews from every program you've applied to? Why worry about other "what ifs" for next fall if all your apps are already going as well as they possibly could. As someone who is also currently applying to bschool, the process is stressful enough, if you go looking for other things to worry about you're just going to give yourself an ulcer. You know your girlfriend, and her proclivity to cheat, a lot better than anyone else on this board. Wait until you know what your options are until you preemptively worry about her breaking up with you.

    Yes, I do have interviews everywhere, but that's still not an acceptance. You're right that it's premature, but it's been burning inside of me for some time and just wanted some advice. Thus far, the people here have been very insightful and helpful.

  • shorttheworld's picture

    also, whe nthere is a girl with a boyfriend or fiance who isnt gonna be near and she is cute, a lot of the other single guys basically are like 'yeah shes going to get nailed by someone at xyz school mwahahaha that ish wont last! shmuck!'

    real talk

  • Silicon Economist's picture

    I think you should consider the fact that if she's going to a top tier b-school chances are she'll be meeting some BSD bankers/highly successful people that are bound to catch her eye and inevitably make you pale in comparison. Chances are (if she's attractive) she will catch the eyes of some of these aforementioned BSDs. Throw in constant contact through classes, social gatherings, and alcohol, the chances of your relationship lasting two years of being hundreds, potentially thousands of miles apart are not very high.

    The whole "trading up" debate is true. Please read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

    I wouldn't break up with her beforehand for fear of her finding someone else. That's probably foolish and a little immature, especially if you're serious about her. Let her know you'd like to stay together, discuss with her if you two want to be exclusive/take a break/etc. and go from there. Being a realistic optimist is ideal. Of course you'd want things to work out, but don't be overly surprised or devastated when they don't.

  • In reply to Silicon Economist
    mbavsmfin's picture

    Silicon Economist wrote:
    I think you should consider the fact that if she's going to a top tier b-school chances are she'll be meeting some BSD bankers/highly successful people that are bound to catch her eye and inevitably make you pale in comparison. Chances are (if she's attractive) she will catch the eyes of some of these aforementioned BSDs. Throw in constant contact through classes, social gatherings, and alcohol, the chances of your relationship lasting two years of being hundreds, potentially thousands of miles apart are not very high.

    The whole "trading up" debate is true. Please read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

    I wouldn't break up with her beforehand for fear of her finding someone else. That's probably foolish and a little immature, especially if you're serious about her. Let her know you'd like to stay together, discuss with her if you two want to be exclusive/take a break/etc. and go from there. Being a realistic optimist is ideal. Of course you'd want things to work out, but don't be overly surprised or devastated when they don't.

    Your first paragraph effectively encapsulates my worries and insecurities about this.

  • TeddyTheBear's picture

    This is why you never want to be in a relationship with girls in the business world. They care more about career progression than relationships. I know a kid who was an SA at JPM and during this time he was dating a girl interested in banking. She was incredibly smart and not bad looking either. Anyways she worked at some boutique and convinced her BF to open up his connects at JPM. He really pushed for her and she was able to get a phone interview with an alum and eventually she got a FT offer. He was so happy since they were dating and now working together. Well none of that mattered since she broke up with him senior year.

  • In reply to TeddyTheBear
    holla_back's picture

    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    This is why you never want to be in a relationship with girls in the business world. They care more about career progression than relationships. I know a kid who was an SA at JPM and during this time he was dating a girl interested in banking. She was incredibly smart and not bad looking either. Anyways she worked at some boutique and convinced her BF to open up his connects at JPM. He really pushed for her and she was able to get a phone interview with an alum and eventually she got a FT offer. He was so happy since they were dating and now working together. Well none of that mattered since she broke up with him senior year.

    None of the women I know (reasonably well) who're going to business school (three of them, all around 25 and all at top tier schools) have any real plan to work in the "business" world for more than 3-4 years following graduation. Their likely career progression (at least for the attractive ones):

    1) MBA
    2) Work in consulting / investor relations / fashion shit / whatever for 2-3 years
    3) Get married
    4) Get a job at a non-profit somewhere in Manhattan
    5) Start pumping out kids in late-20s / early-30s

  • In reply to TeddyTheBear
    mbavsmfin's picture

    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    This is why you never want to be in a relationship with girls in the business world. They care more about career progression than relationships. I know a kid who was an SA at JPM and during this time he was dating a girl interested in banking. She was incredibly smart and not bad looking either. Anyways she worked at some boutique and convinced her BF to open up his connects at JPM. He really pushed for her and she was able to get a phone interview with an alum and eventually she got a FT offer. He was so happy since they were dating and now working together. Well none of that mattered since she broke up with him senior year.

    I think women in general want to be with a man who is more successful than they are, at least when it comes to long-term relationships and marriage. It's the whole "provider" instinct that is the result of human evolution. This is not limited to women in finance.

  • In reply to mbavsmfin
    Jeff8700's picture

    mbavsmfin][quote=TeddyTheBear][quote=mbavsmfin wrote:
    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.

    Although I don't think I would cheat on my GF, I cannot say that it would never happen. Stronger men than me have fallen to temptation. And I'm sure she would be tempted too given the right circumstance. It's sad, but it's just the way we humans are.

    Dude I'm not saying you're wrong here, but that kind of attitude answers your question. You can't go into a long distance relationship not knowing whether you'd cheat on someone, especially in your mid to late 20s. It's not worth it and you'll just be holding onto someone you don't care about for no real reason. If you were that into her I don't think you would have written those words. I just made a similar difficult decision, as I'm also going to b-school in the fall, because I wasn't sure and you should consider doing the same. And if you're really split 50/50, might I recommend the following link?
    https://www.freakonomicsexperiments.com/

  • In reply to Silicon Economist
    huanleshalemei's picture

    Silicon Economist wrote:
    I think you should consider the fact that if she's going to a top tier b-school chances are she'll be meeting some BSD bankers/highly successful people that are bound to catch her eye and inevitably make you pale in comparison. Chances are (if she's attractive) she will catch the eyes of some of these aforementioned BSDs. Throw in constant contact through classes, social gatherings, and alcohol, the chances of your relationship lasting two years of being hundreds, potentially thousands of miles apart are not very high.

    The whole "trading up" debate is true. Please read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

    I know someone dated a C-level executive at a consulting firm, but she decided to leave him for business school this year (for career progression purpose). Guess there are some girls falling out of your stereotype.

    The Auto Show

  • In reply to huanleshalemei
    kingfalcon's picture

    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Silicon Economist wrote:
    I think you should consider the fact that if she's going to a top tier b-school chances are she'll be meeting some BSD bankers/highly successful people that are bound to catch her eye and inevitably make you pale in comparison. Chances are (if she's attractive) she will catch the eyes of some of these aforementioned BSDs. Throw in constant contact through classes, social gatherings, and alcohol, the chances of your relationship lasting two years of being hundreds, potentially thousands of miles apart are not very high.

    The whole "trading up" debate is true. Please read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

    I know someone dated a C-level executive at a consulting firm, but she decided to leave him for business school this year (for career progression purpose). Guess there are some girls falling out of your stereotype.


    Stereotypes are created because something happens a certain way frequently or most of the time. Obviously, there will be exceptions to any rule/stereotype.

  • In reply to huanleshalemei
    mbavsmfin's picture

    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Silicon Economist wrote:
    I think you should consider the fact that if she's going to a top tier b-school chances are she'll be meeting some BSD bankers/highly successful people that are bound to catch her eye and inevitably make you pale in comparison. Chances are (if she's attractive) she will catch the eyes of some of these aforementioned BSDs. Throw in constant contact through classes, social gatherings, and alcohol, the chances of your relationship lasting two years of being hundreds, potentially thousands of miles apart are not very high.

    The whole "trading up" debate is true. Please read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

    I know someone dated a C-level executive at a consulting firm, but she decided to leave him for business school this year (for career progression purpose). Guess there are some girls falling out of your stereotype.

    Sure, but hypergamy is a real phenomenon. I have seen this so many times amongst the girls I know. As I said in an earlier post, I only know 1 girl who is in a serious relationship with a guy who is of "lower" status, in terms of school and job. However, I have tons of guy friends who are uber successful but date girls who are in sales, marketing, nursing, teaching, etc. Hell I have one good friend from college who is now a PM at a major hedge fund, and his fiancee is a nanny who did not even attend college.

  • huanleshalemei's picture

    Ok, the best arrangement I can think of for you is to break up with the girl for now. If she's making you insecure, she's going to make you even more insecure during and after MBA. Think about it, your girl may be cruising parties getting slammed by multiple BSDs every night during b-school and the imagery will kill you inside.

    But, as a new single you can slay chicks in sales, marketing or whatever caters your ego. Everyone's happy.

    The Auto Show

  • BradyisnotMVP's picture

    If you get into M7 and keep your pre-MBA girlfriend, then you are an idiot. It's like getting into NFL\NBA\MLB and then still dating your high school sweetheart.

    Move on buddy. Greater things await.

    "The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males."

  • In reply to mbavsmfin
    BradyisnotMVP's picture

    mbavsmfin wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Silicon Economist wrote:
    I think you should consider the fact that if she's going to a top tier b-school chances are she'll be meeting some BSD bankers/highly successful people that are bound to catch her eye and inevitably make you pale in comparison. Chances are (if she's attractive) she will catch the eyes of some of these aforementioned BSDs. Throw in constant contact through classes, social gatherings, and alcohol, the chances of your relationship lasting two years of being hundreds, potentially thousands of miles apart are not very high.

    The whole "trading up" debate is true. Please read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy

    I know someone dated a C-level executive at a consulting firm, but she decided to leave him for business school this year (for career progression purpose). Guess there are some girls falling out of your stereotype.

    Sure, but hypergamy is a real phenomenon. I have seen this so many times amongst the girls I know. As I said in an earlier post, I only know 1 girl who is in a serious relationship with a guy who is of "lower" status, in terms of school and job. However, I have tons of guy friends who are uber successful but date girls who are in sales, marketing, nursing, teaching, etc. Hell I have one good friend from college who is now a PM at a major hedge fund, and his fiancee is a nanny who did not even attend college.

    Your PM buddy is an idiot if he will sign the papers with a nanny, he will learn then his ass will hurt from the pounding in the courts.

    "The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males."

  • In reply to holla_back
    BradyisnotMVP's picture

    holla_back wrote:
    TeddyTheBear wrote:
    This is why you never want to be in a relationship with girls in the business world. They care more about career progression than relationships. I know a kid who was an SA at JPM and during this time he was dating a girl interested in banking. She was incredibly smart and not bad looking either. Anyways she worked at some boutique and convinced her BF to open up his connects at JPM. He really pushed for her and she was able to get a phone interview with an alum and eventually she got a FT offer. He was so happy since they were dating and now working together. Well none of that mattered since she broke up with him senior year.

    None of the women I know (reasonably well) who're going to business school (three of them, all around 25 and all at top tier schools) have any real plan to work in the "business" world for more than 3-4 years following graduation. Their likely career progression (at least for the attractive ones):

    1) MBA
    2) Work in consulting / investor relations / fashion shit / whatever for 2-3 years
    3) Get married
    4) Get a job at a non-profit somewhere in Manhattan
    5) Start pumping out kids in late-20s / early-30s

    This is precisely why admitting women to MBAs is a joke. If you admit a female to mba, there should be some sort of "poison pill" which gets activated if they drop out of workforce early or do bs jobs. The whole mantra we are educating future leaders and etc. is a fucking joke, when a significant portion will be overeducated housewifes.

    "The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males."

  • In reply to huanleshalemei
    mbavsmfin's picture

    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Ok, the best arrangement I can think of for you is to break up with the girl for now. If she's making you insecure, she's going to make you even more insecure during and after MBA. Think about it, your girl may be cruising parties getting slammed by multiple BSDs every night during b-school and the imagery will kill you inside.

    But, as a new single you can slay chicks in sales, marketing or whatever caters your ego. Everyone's happy.

    Yup, that's definitely my worst nightmare. She gets swept off her feet by a tall charismatic alpha who worked at bain capital/blackstone/KKR before b-school.

    As for me, I'm only into smart accomplished chicks. Looks alone don't really do it for me, so girls in sales, marketing, and so forth are not viable options.

  • In reply to mbavsmfin
    huanleshalemei's picture

    mbavsmfin wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Ok, the best arrangement I can think of for you is to break up with the girl for now. If she's making you insecure, she's going to make you even more insecure during and after MBA. Think about it, your girl may be cruising parties getting slammed by multiple BSDs every night during b-school and the imagery will kill you inside.

    But, as a new single you can slay chicks in sales, marketing or whatever caters your ego. Everyone's happy.

    Yup, that's definitely my worst nightmare. She gets swept off her feet by a tall charismatic alpha who worked at bain capital/blackstone/KKR before b-school.

    As for me, I'm only into smart accomplished chicks. Looks alone don't really do it for me, so girls in sales, marketing, and so forth are not viable options.

    Try to shift your focus from the girl to your own MBA/MFin application. I could be damn wrong, but it's very unlikely that smart/accomplished chick + possessive/insecure boyfriend = long-term/fulfilling relationship.

    The Auto Show

  • In reply to huanleshalemei
    mbavsmfin's picture

    huanleshalemei wrote:
    mbavsmfin wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Ok, the best arrangement I can think of for you is to break up with the girl for now. If she's making you insecure, she's going to make you even more insecure during and after MBA. Think about it, your girl may be cruising parties getting slammed by multiple BSDs every night during b-school and the imagery will kill you inside.

    But, as a new single you can slay chicks in sales, marketing or whatever caters your ego. Everyone's happy.

    Yup, that's definitely my worst nightmare. She gets swept off her feet by a tall charismatic alpha who worked at bain capital/blackstone/KKR before b-school.

    As for me, I'm only into smart accomplished chicks. Looks alone don't really do it for me, so girls in sales, marketing, and so forth are not viable options.

    Try to shift your focus from the girl to your own MBA/MFin application. I could be damn wrong, but it's very unlikely that smart/accomplished chick + possessive/insecure boyfriend = long-term/fulfilling relationship.

    Thanks for the pointer, but my mba/mfin application is going absolutely great so far. Also I'm pretty freaking smart and accomplished myself, so it's not like I'm "reaching for the stars here."

  • In reply to mbavsmfin
    huanleshalemei's picture

    mbavsmfin wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:
    mbavsmfin wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Ok, the best arrangement I can think of for you is to break up with the girl for now. If she's making you insecure, she's going to make you even more insecure during and after MBA. Think about it, your girl may be cruising parties getting slammed by multiple BSDs every night during b-school and the imagery will kill you inside.

    But, as a new single you can slay chicks in sales, marketing or whatever caters your ego. Everyone's happy.

    Yup, that's definitely my worst nightmare. She gets swept off her feet by a tall charismatic alpha who worked at bain capital/blackstone/KKR before b-school.

    As for me, I'm only into smart accomplished chicks. Looks alone don't really do it for me, so girls in sales, marketing, and so forth are not viable options.

    Try to shift your focus from the girl to your own MBA/MFin application. I could be damn wrong, but it's very unlikely that smart/accomplished chick + possessive/insecure boyfriend = long-term/fulfilling relationship.

    Thanks for the pointer, but my mba/mfin application is going absolutely great so far. Also I'm pretty freaking smart and accomplished myself, so it's not like I'm "reaching for the stars here."

    Haha, I was not being sarcastic - just wanted to motivate to you. Good luck!

    The Auto Show

  • In reply to huanleshalemei
    mbavsmfin's picture

    huanleshalemei wrote:
    mbavsmfin wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:
    mbavsmfin wrote:
    huanleshalemei wrote:
    Ok, the best arrangement I can think of for you is to break up with the girl for now. If she's making you insecure, she's going to make you even more insecure during and after MBA. Think about it, your girl may be cruising parties getting slammed by multiple BSDs every night during b-school and the imagery will kill you inside.

    But, as a new single you can slay chicks in sales, marketing or whatever caters your ego. Everyone's happy.

    Yup, that's definitely my worst nightmare. She gets swept off her feet by a tall charismatic alpha who worked at bain capital/blackstone/KKR before b-school.

    As for me, I'm only into smart accomplished chicks. Looks alone don't really do it for me, so girls in sales, marketing, and so forth are not viable options.

    Try to shift your focus from the girl to your own MBA/MFin application. I could be damn wrong, but it's very unlikely that smart/accomplished chick + possessive/insecure boyfriend = long-term/fulfilling relationship.

    Thanks for the pointer, but my mba/mfin application is going absolutely great so far. Also I'm pretty freaking smart and accomplished myself, so it's not like I'm "reaching for the stars here."

    Haha, I was not being sarcastic - just wanted to motivate to you. Good luck!

    Lol. Fair enough. Thanks for the good wishes.

  • SirTradesaLot's picture

    I'll leave you with one last thought....when in doubt, throw her out.

    adapt or die wrote:
    What would P.T. Barnum say about you?

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