Maintaining a relationship during b-school
I know this topic is not related to admissions so my apologies in advance if it's not in the right forum.
I am currently in a relationship with a great girl; we've been dating for about 2 years, and even though marriage is not something that's on my mind yet, i could definitely see myself marrying this girl. She applied to business schools during round 1, and I did applications for round 2, for mba as well as mfin. She was lucky enough to get into her first choice and already sent in her deposit, so there's no ambiguity on where she will end up this fall. On my end though, i'm interviewing, and if i don't get into that school i will have to go elsewhere. I also applied to a few european mfin programs, so depending on my options it could become a real long-distance thing.
Question and concerns. From what I have heard from different people, conventional wisdom seems to be that if you and your significant other are going to be in different schools, it's simply not going to work out. I think there's a term called "black friday" or "black october?" To what extent is this true? I would love to hear serious responses from people who may have been in similar situations.
Thanks a lot.
Depends on the strength of
Depends on the strength of your relationship, trust in each other, communication etc. In general though it's always going to be a lot harder to maintain one where you barely ever see each other. You need to ask yourselves the following:
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just take a break for
just take a break for business school and if you guys both want to end up together after it will happen. Think of it as your last 2 years of freedom for the rest of your life and enjoy.
relationships can last, but the ones that are long distance in b school, they are few and far between....i saw several MARRIAGES crumble in b school. You are back in a fun / college atmosphere, so not having your significant other there to enjoy that with you is very tough.
it most definitely wont last if you are already worried about Black friday...i think you should also ask yourself why you think she is so willing to move away from you...has she encouraged you to apply to programs in the area or been more open to you being away?
If it's the latter I'd save yourself a lot of pain and anguish and have a mature conversation now about the future. so many people just roll through lives and stay in relationships because it's comfortable...not a good reason to be with someone. And you sound too young to get married, so at least you have your head straight there....
Best of Luck man!
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just take a break for business school and if you guys both want to end up together after it will happen. Think of it as your last 2 years of freedom for the rest of your life and enjoy.
relationships can last, but the ones that are long distance in b school, they are few and far between....i saw several MARRIAGES crumble in b school. You are back in a fun / college atmosphere, so not having your significant other there to enjoy that with you is very tough.
it most definitely wont last if you are already worried about Black friday...i think you should also ask yourself why you think she is so willing to move away from you...has she encouraged you to apply to programs in the area or been more open to you being away?
If it's the latter I'd save yourself a lot of pain and anguish and have a mature conversation now about the future. so many people just roll through lives and stay in relationships because it's comfortable...not a good reason to be with someone. And you sound too young to get married, so at least you have your head straight there....
Best of Luck man!
Thanks for this rather sobering and realistic assessment. Holy cow. You actually saw marriages crumble in b-schools?
Well, my gf is going to her first choice school, and she's obviously not going to alter that because of me, nor do i want her to. Ideally i will get in as well, and none of this would be an issue, but this has been burning in my brain lately.
I'm not going to lie; I'm definitely insecure about black friday. My feelings for her are a bit more intense than vice versa, but more to the point, I do worry that if we end up at different schools she's going to meet someone who's more successful than me and do a "trade-up". I know it's insecurity speaking here, but I would be lying if I said otherwise. Either way, I think we will need to have a serious conversation about this once I find out my results.
WallStreetOasis.com: it most
it most definitely wont last if you are already worried about Black friday...i think you should also ask yourself why you think she is so willing to move away from you...has she encouraged you to apply to programs in the area or been more open to you being away?
If it's the latter I'd save yourself a lot of pain and anguish and have a mature conversation now about the future. so many people just roll through lives and stay in relationships because it's comfortable...not a good reason to be with someone.
this. If you guys were really going to be married, you'd figure out a better arrangement. It's already done in my book...rip the band aid off and get it over with. 2 years is too long to be with someone who you're not sure about.
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I have seen several girls
I have seen several girls trading down to a lower school to come with bf/husband. With exactly similar (or even slightly lower) profile, a female will always get in at better schools than male. Making the compromise is where the rubber hits the road (e.g. lets say both of you are career oriented, who will be the one giving up first to raise the kids. You need one to stay at home in most cases). But yeah, have seen breakups, including engagements haha.
This thread will be a good
This thread will be a good way to see what screen name Brady's using these days
FrankD'anconia: This thread
This thread will be a good way to see what screen name Brady's using these days
What if Brady is really SirTradeAlot? the greatest plot twist in WSO history.
packmate: FrankD'anconia: T
This thread will be a good way to see what screen name Brady's using these days
What if Brady is really SirTradeAlot? the greatest plot twist in WSO history.
That would be awesome. Like rabbits!
After rereading what is undoubtedly the most entertaining thread in WSO history, it would be especially awesome if it was true.
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/e-mail-from-...
There are tons of highlights in this thread, but my favorite is the one between Brady4MVP and one of his known aliases 'derivatives'.
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The fact that your GF didn't
The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.
SirTradesaLot: WallStreetOa
it most definitely wont last if you are already worried about Black friday...i think you should also ask yourself why you think she is so willing to move away from you...has she encouraged you to apply to programs in the area or been more open to you being away?
If it's the latter I'd save yourself a lot of pain and anguish and have a mature conversation now about the future. so many people just roll through lives and stay in relationships because it's comfortable...not a good reason to be with someone.
this. If you guys were really going to be married, you'd figure out a better arrangement. It's already done in my book...rip the band aid off and get it over with. 2 years is too long to be with someone who you're not sure about.
Real talk.
TeddyTheBear: The fact that
The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.
These are fair points.
1. I think the reason it didn't come up is because there is so much uncertainty since I do not have official admission results yet. I guess both she and I feel that we should address it once I know for a fact where I will be attending. As a side note, I was unable to apply round 1 due to some personal issues, and although she was willing to wait until round 2 for my sake, I told her to go ahead and get it over with since she was ready to apply then.
2. I agree that relationships entail sacrifices. But we're not married or engaged, and the type of sacrifice I would be asking her to make (assuming i don't get into that school) is simply too much and unfair to her professional ambitions. She worked hard to get in, so that is simply not an option.
mbavsmfin: TeddyTheBear: Th
The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.
These are fair points.
1. I think the reason it didn't come up is because there is so much uncertainty since I do not have official admission results yet. I guess both she and I feel that we should address it once I know for a fact where I will be attending. As a side note, I was unable to apply round 1 due to some personal issues, and although she was willing to wait until round 2 for my sake, I told her to go ahead and get it over with since she was ready to apply then.
2. I agree that relationships entail sacrifices. But we're not married or engaged, and the type of sacrifice I would be asking her to make (assuming i don't get into that school) is simply too much and unfair to her professional ambitions. She worked hard to get in, so that is simply not an option.
Normally, I would agree with you, but you did say this "and even though marriage is not something that's on my mind yet, i could definitely see myself marrying this girl."
I would take a step back and reassess your situation. The fact that you are also scared she will meet someone else and fall in love while in school just shows she is not the type of girl you would want. Do you really plan on being with someone who can't trust to be loyal to you? You need to answer this on your own.
TeddyTheBear: mbavsmfin:
The fact that your GF didn't even discuss the matter of B-school with you kind of shows that you seem to care more about your relationship then she does. You just mentioned she wouldn't have altered her school choice because of you. Being in a relationship is about making sacrifices on both ends and if she was not willing to do it, then it goes to show she may not be the type of person you would want to spend your life with. Think about this. She may be a great person and you may have a lot in common, but there is more to it then that.
These are fair points.
1. I think the reason it didn't come up is because there is so much uncertainty since I do not have official admission results yet. I guess both she and I feel that we should address it once I know for a fact where I will be attending. As a side note, I was unable to apply round 1 due to some personal issues, and although she was willing to wait until round 2 for my sake, I told her to go ahead and get it over with since she was ready to apply then.
2. I agree that relationships entail sacrifices. But we're not married or engaged, and the type of sacrifice I would be asking her to make (assuming i don't get into that school) is simply too much and unfair to her professional ambitions. She worked hard to get in, so that is simply not an option.
Normally, I would agree with you, but you did say this "and even though marriage is not something that's on my mind yet, i could definitely see myself marrying this girl."
I would take a step back and reassess your situation. The fact that you are also scared she will meet someone else and fall in love while in school just shows she is not the type of girl you would want. Do you really plan on being with someone who can't trust to be loyal to you? You need to answer this on your own.
I think my fear is natural. As the poster above me said, he has seen marriages crumble in business schools, and a lot of relationships in general do fall apart due to distance and other issues. I'm sure those couples thought they could handle it by saying something like "ok honey, i'll come up to visit you twice a month, and we'll talk on the phone as often as possible. i love you, and we will make it work." On paper, such loyalty and devotion are touching, but in reality they may simply not be enough.
Look at it this way. In business school you are surrounded almost 24/7 by your classmates, especially those in your section. Classes, group projects, networking events, clubs, career treks, travels, social events, etc. Such an environment means that the odds of you cheating on your significant other becomes a lot greater due to constant exposure to a group of people. This is basic human psychology and social dynamics. Although I don't think I would cheat on my GF, I cannot say that it would never happen. Stronger men than me have fallen to temptation. And I'm sure she would be tempted too given the right circumstance. It's sad, but it's just the way we humans are.
I think I'll be going through
I think I'll be going through a similar situation later this year: my girlfriend is thinking about applying in the fall, and she's pretty set on only attending HBS or maybe GSB (top tier work experience, female, 3.9 from HYP, likely 750+). I'm also applying to business school this year, but there's a pretty good chance that I go 0 for 7 and join the Zero Admit Club (if I do get in anywhere, it'll probably be a school she wouldn't attend).
Should be an interesting year.
Dude stop being a little
Dude stop being a little bitch. Every relationship is different. If you want to stay together then tell her that. If you don't want to, then tell her that. Don't break up pre-emptively with your potential future-wife for fear that she will dump you in business school. She won't dump you to trade up for a guy with a better job, but she might dump you for being a little bitch.
Maybe you are just
Ok, here is my experience.
Don't know you know that MBA
I need a crib, a big estate, I need a boat and that need a lake, I need some salmon that need a plate, that need a chef so I feed my safe
From trading equities to slanging wine in Latin America
A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what a ship i
Pipe City baby
I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
Hi OP. Do you believe in
From personal experience, you
"They are all former investment bankers that were laid off in the economic collapse that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have no marketable skills, but by God they work hard."
Waiting until round 2 to
novice question, but does
Remember, once you're inside you're on your own.
Oh, you mean I can't count on you?
No.
Good!
TeddyTheBear: Waiting until
snakeplissken: novice
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Amphipathic: SirTradesaLot:
Banker88: Dude stop being a
mbavsmfin: Banker88: Dude
acrew09: mbavsmfin: Banke
also, whe nthere is a girl
I need a crib, a big estate, I need a boat and that need a lake, I need some salmon that need a plate, that need a chef so I feed my safe
From trading equities to slanging wine in Latin America
A ship is safe in harbor, but that is not what a ship i
I think you should consider
Silicon Economist: I think
This is why you never want to
TeddyTheBear: This is why you
TeddyTheBear: This is why you
[quote=mbavsmfin][quote=Teddy
Silicon Economist: I think
The Auto Show
huanleshalemei: Silicon
huanleshalemei: Silicon
Ok, the best arrangement I
The Auto Show
If you get into M7 and keep
"The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males."
mbavsmfin: huanleshalemei:
"The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males."
holla_back: TeddyTheBear: T
"The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males."
huanleshalemei: Ok, the best
mbavsmfin: huanleshalemei:
The Auto Show
huanleshalemei: mbavsmfin:
mbavsmfin: huanleshalemei:
The Auto Show
huanleshalemei: mbavsmfin:
I'll leave you with one last
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