How?
I'm embarrassed to post this because I don't consider myself a social retard, but I could really use some advice:
- 22 years old
- Interned with a company that sent me across the country to be the first hire in a new office
- The office is just my boss (25 years older than I am) and I
- Boss travels 80% of the time
- In an office by myself for 60+ hours per week and feel like I'm beginning to go insane
So I ask you--what can be done by a young professional to make friends when he spends all daylight hours alone in an office? In most jobs your coworkers are the first people you bond with, so how does one gain a new group of friends starting from scratch?
Current ideas:
- Take a class at a local university
- Group fitness class like yoga or something less gay
I'm interested in your suggestions. These wso credits are burning a hole in my pocket.
no reason to be embarrased man... i literally don't know what i'd do if i had to move to the some random state...
try volunteering, or sign up for a cooking/boxing/dance class or whatever. also (though i've never used it personally), there's this website called Meetups that brings people with similar interests together:
http://www.meetup.com/
hopefully there's one in your region. g'luck!
softball/soccer/hockey/dodgeball
if you are halfway athletic, you should be able to join a club team, don't be a weirdo, and you will fit right in.
got a fav sports team? find the watch sites.
How's the nightlife where you are? Hit up a bar or lounge after work and grab some drinks. If you're wary of approaching random people out of the blue, you can talk to the bartender first and let him/her know about your circumstances. If he/she isn't an asshole, you'll be pointed in the right direction. Also, does your building have any other tenants? Maybe wander to another floor during some downtime and chat up some of the people there.
Intramural sports and civic groups are the best ways to make friends in a new city. But yeah, i've only made a few good friends since college, and i live in a very large city with lot of young people. I think people underestimate how tough it is to make friends when you're not in school.
yoga idea seems clutch, meet some random ass man nothings better.
This is a tough one, especially if you don't know anyone in the city. I also recommend taking a course at a local university. Or maybe just try to find as many possible social outings as you can and go from there. Good luck man.
This might be a stretch, but try moving in to a place with roommates. A TON of roommates (3+). If you move in to a place shared with a bunch of others, you'll undoubtedly become a part of the constant fray that will ensue at your house. Throughout all my living experiences, I find that living with a bunch of roommates is seriously awesome as opposed to living by myself or with just 1 other person. The positives very quickly outweigh the negatives, and you'll always have people to talk to. I see roommates as family you can turn off or ignore if you don't get along.
Just make sure to live in a reasonably priced place and keep this rule in mind: the more you pay for the single room you live in relative to what a studio/single would cost, and the more people you live with, the classier the spot tends to be. IE, living on Wall Street in a $2K/mo closet would suck, but the same $2K/mo would get you an AWESOME spot in SoHo with a few roommates equally eloquent as yourself.
From there, I think, you can start building your social network and begin indulging in activities like yoga. Roommates help you get around and can accompany you places, and you'll eventually meet their friends, who will introduce you to their friends in turn.
And if you're in a city by yourself, the roommate situation can seem a little scary but remember that you have to be a little open-minded. Don't live with people who are just getting by or are looking for a temporary solution. Couples are usually a bad idea too, and remember to keep roommate relationships tame. But if you can keep an open mind about the people you'll live with, I think you'll find that more often than not, the people you live with are pretty cool.
wow... the roommate thing is an EXCELLENT idea actually. hell if you're down, move in with a couple of bros at the local college, make sure you have your own room and own bathroom (i'm betting you can afford it), and voila!
I'd say this is the best advice I've seen here.
As a college student who will probably be going to a foreign city post grad, this is a pretty big concern of mine. Glad I'm not the only one lol
Craigslist's personals: strictly platonic or...
Church if you're a spiritual person. Everyone has already said all the obvious choices.
I would add just be as cheerful/friendly/helpful as you can be whether you are on your way to/from work or while you are at the supermarket. It's quite easy to start at small talk and go from there. If you're in a small city/town, there is a good chance you will run into the same people often.
EDIT: Can't believe no one mentioned alumni networks.
1) Gym. Assuming that whatever sport you may like - there could be the need for some additional resistance/weight training. Pick a gym which has members similar to you. Observe what cars/brands are on the parking lot, look what age group hangs out at the gym and ask the receptionist, the members services team or other members. Gyms are the typical social hot spots and I have met many new (great) friends while working out. Just make sure the people are somewhat like you and the big advantage is that they are typically fairly local to the gym as well.
2) hobbies What hobbies do you have? Try to attend social events/meetings which involve your interests, i.e.: - if you like cars, you could attend car meetings/clubs/racing events - if you like sailing, you could attend boat shows, club meets, or join a yacht club - if you like more extreme things like skydiving, base jumping, (..) - these events typically have social functions afterwards and people do keep in touch - anything online as stated before, meetups, special interest/sports forums, WSO, ...
3) At your age there is a good chance that you will meet/date frequently. If a date doesn't work out as a potential mate but you like each other there is a possibility to stay friends. I would keep in touch and see if you like her social circle.
I interned in a random city last summer and felt exactly the same way. I was basically miserable the first few weeks. I knew one guy in the entire city and told him my situation. He completely understood and introduced me to everyone in his circle. Try meeting one or two people and I'd bet you the friends would multiply at that point. Roommate thing is also a good idea. Or meet people on WSO. Post what city you are in and I'm sure you'll find someone who will be willing to show you around. Or get a cat?
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