Networking at a nightclub
I know this is different than the usual questions asked here, but it's a genuine question and I want to hear your opinion on this.
I'm a university student in a non-finance related major and I don't have many chances to meet people in finance to network with on a regular basis. However, there is a place for me where I can meet plenty of them: nightclubs. I like to go out to clubs that don't cater to college students, but to older people/working professionals. I meet a lot of people every time I go out, and a lot of them are in finance. They'll invite me to their booth with fancy bottles and we'd hang out and it's great to meet people and make contacts with people who are in high standings or are already established in the field.
However. Unfortunately I end up burning bridges with them because they're interested in dating me when that's not something I'm interested in. I want to genuinely network and make friends. Not fake-flirt to get what I need because that won't work out in the long term.
One of the people I met at one of the clubs few weeks ago started his own algorithmic trading firm and thought I would be a good sales girl for his company (although I want to go into trading, not sales). We got together a few times but we no longer talk because I wasn't interested in him the way he was.
Is this a ridiculous idea? I just feel like these are good opportunities because it puts me more at a peer-to-peer level with them meeting them this way, instead of it being like less casual mentor-mentee type relationship if we'd meet in traditional ways of networking.
Does anyone have tips for how to network at a club as a female? Maybe slightly acting like one of the guys will help? Anyone have their own experience to share? I'd like to hear from both men and women what you think about all this.
I'll ignore the daddy issues that you may have.
I never go to a night club to network. How the heck do you have a decent conversation with loud music in the background?
The last thing any guy at a night club (especially those who work long hours) wants to hear about is work-related. They want what ever other guy wants: tits.
They're within 10 years of my age. I would hardly call going to a club mainly with 25-30 year olds daddy issue related. I like more trendy, classy clubs better than clubs where 19 year olds get trashed.
Best gyms for networking? How can I network at a club? These are good questions.
Also,
How should I network at funerals? Anybody ever crashed weddings to network? What are the best churches to network at? Grocery stores? Car dealerships? Please advise.
This is too good. Too good. I lol'd.
The best way to network at a funeral is to lay right next to the deceased. That way you get to see everyone and all the souls in the afterlife.
hahahaha
Since you're a female, use what you have; its a fine line, but you got to do what you can to break in. If that means dating an older man, than so be it. I know a girl who slept her way in, so it is possible. Just not very ethical.
I agree with knivek. I have done similarly. Although it is a great way to meet people in finance, it is not a great way to establish relationships with them as you have seen from experience.
I am having difficulty as well, but I have established some mentors from networking with people you know or in areas you are comfortable with. My two examples include: 1. I was invited by an alumni to meet people for drinks during the electoral vote and involved myself in the conversation. Also, knowing things about the company and asking them about it always helps. I established a mentor through a sizing question and a follow up to borrow a book. 2. I went to the gym early in the morning and overheard two men speaking about runs. Because I used to be a cross country runner I asked if there was a running team. Although there wasn't, I was invited to run in the mornings with him. Through him I met two MD's, learned more about his experiences, and gained an internal reference.
There are ways to network outside of clubs, you just need to make those opportunities. Also, having an internship always helps. I myself am looking for fulltime or an internship.
Hope that helps!
Man. That just sounds wrong. Sounds like a play by play for that "Naughty Bookworms" series from Naughty America.
Tell me about these internal deposits?
Haha. Nothing like that. They were genuinely there to help.
Thanks for the advice. I'll try to look for more different opportunities for networking.
First of all, I'm not that clueless. It's something that I'd never fall for nor take the route of because even if I'd get anything out of it, I would not want to work with someone like that or had that kind of relationship with. And I really doubt that if a guy asked a similar question, he'd get a reply like this. A woman going to a nightclub somehow implies those things?
It's not that it implies those things, it is that this is the reality of the world we live in (edit: I'm referencing the fact that guys at clubs are only out to bang you, and do not mean that all women in clubs are prostitutes, though admittedly some are / would be)
Yes, a woman (OR a man) going to a night club and randomly starting conversations with strangers implies they're looking for a one night stand. If I see a group of chicks and I approach them at a club and they're into me and give me their number it's obvious what's going on there. I don't know why i'm explaining this to you. Social context is everything.
I've found the best place to network is the unemployment office
Straight up, people go to clubs to bang girls like you (or at least the girl I am assuming you are). You won't get a job out of this, but you may get promised on. (or the job you get offered might not be what you have in mind...but I've been seeing other articles saying that this may be a more lucrative career than finance -- you should check it out).
I think I was networking with your girlfriend last night at a night club. She said there were three openings that needed to be filled. (Sorry, but I couldn't help myself)
This thread is fucking gold. OP, give us more.
In all seriousness though, please don't be that girl. Nothing good can possibly come of it. As was mentioned above, go hang with alumni at bars, the gym, car dealerships, etc.
Your pitch sounds familar but I will give you a tip: marathon, especially the one for fundraising. Remember to wear a very short tight top.
This is the brutal truth. Coming from a guy who spent years promoting at major clubs in Manhattan all the way through school, when you approach the type of guys who live the table service lifestyle and can afford it, you are sending one signal and one signal only: "I see you spending money, I want your money and/or your body, and I am willing to give mine for a shot at more of yours." It's a simple fact. Whether you intend to or not, that's the message.
For the four second-year analysts who each threw in a grand to blow off some steam at Lavo on a random Saturday night and aren't bottle service regulars, you coming up to them is both natural and magical all at once: "Of course these girls come up! They see me killing it, 'models and bottles' really does work, bro!" For the nightlife regulars, the guys who roll from Marquee to Avenue to 1OAK to Lavo every Wednesday through Saturday and drop $5-10k at each (yes, these guys do exist, I made all kinds of money off them), it's far less a matter of starry-eyed wonder and way more a jaded, 'seen-it-all' sense of reality. If you come up, you either are that kind of girl (and depending on how you look, they'll either be interested or just ignore you for something better that will come up in 5 minutes) or aren't (you were either ignorant about how the table scene works or aware of it but unwilling) and therefore aren't worth a second of their time.
If you want to network, there are so many better ways to do it that are infinitely less compromising, frustrating, or risky. As a girl, you have two options: either use what God gave you to your advantage, or take the moral high road and don't. I'm certainly not going to opine on which is right or proper or best. You are an adult. Make the decision you want and stick with it.
As others have said, if you go to a decent school, there will be alumni. Find out where they hang out, what they do, how you can connect with them. Email, get on the phone, attend conferences or other networking events, visit the main offices in New York, or become a LinkedIn guru. Or, if you want to take the other road, make sure you're mentally committed to that path, and get involved.
I SB'd you. I wish I could give you a 1000 SBs. OP, I applaud you for trying to get creative about networking. However, as a female, I must warn you this pretty dangerous. You're putting yourself at risk physically and career wise. You've already stated that you've burned some bridges. Don't torch the castle before you ever step foot in it by developing a reputation in industry before you ever get there. What you're looking for and what they are looking for are completely different things. Hell, even in the work place you have to be careful because some of your male superiors will be looking to "try" you. I could give you some shock stories, but I won't go there. That is a post for another day.
I understand that you are in a non finance related major. Is there anyway you can change into something more finance related or econ related? If so, then please do so. If not, accept that you're going to have to do some self teaching to prepare yourself for your chosen career.
If you have access to clubs where there are lots of finance professionals around, then you definitely have the opportunity to network. Get on LinkedIn to find finance people in the area and set up meetings/ informational interviews. If you do this, there are no questions about what you are looking for.
Go talk to your career center. I will assume that you go to a non target. They may not put you in contact with who you want directly, but you will learn how to talk to people and what questions you should be asking. Furthermore, if you build HONEST and genuine relationships, people will go out of their way to help you because they don't feel like you are trying to use them.
Yes, the idea is ludicrous.
"Good opportunities..." (Not even...I would hesitate to call them that.)
"Peer-to-peer level." Why is this important to you? Firstly, until you've worked in industry you will never be at a peer to peer level with these guys. Even if they say, "Oh, we're peers. I just graduated a year or two ago." It is not the same. They have something you need (a job, experience, connections, and knowledge), but you have very little to offer them on a normal basis (besides a boost to the ego by asking them about themselves).
Don't diss the mentor-mentee relationship. It is as formal or as casual as YOU chose to make it. I have mentors that are very formal, concise, straight to the point, etc. Then I have other mentors who talk to me about the best bars to hit up. You help shape this.
Also there is another danger in wanting to be seen as a peer instead of a mentee. When you are a peer, and you hand your resume to a peer, they something like "I'm just an analyst or an associate, so I don't have any influence over much." (This statement is partially true.) Then they may pass your resume to HR or something and go about their business. When someone considers you to be a mentee, they may say the same thing, but now they feel to some degree responsible for you. Whereas before their mental process was along the lines of I sure hope XYZ finds something, now they are like, I'm going to actively help XYZ find something through talking to my supervisor or actively going through my contacts.
Do you see the difference here?
So, in conclusion, LinkedIn, cold call, use CapIQ or Bloomberg if available, go to conferences, find women only networking events, try things like 85broads.com, but please DO NOT go to a club to network.
Today is that day. The floor is yours, mademoiselle.
I understand that that is a very common case, but I am still surprised by all these stereotypical ideas that people here have about clubs. I understand that there are men who are just looking for a roll in the hay, but I have made some great friends from clubs, men and women, who are very normal, regular people who like to go out, have a drink and dance with their friends. Also, as a woman, it really is about how well you stand up for yourself when needed because there will always be assholes sometimes. I know how to do it well so I don't let those petty things bother me. I do a full time internship coding all day in a cubicle so I need a social outlet to recharge and I feel that clubs do it for me most efficiently in the shortest amount of time because it is such a social environment.
It could be a cultural thing. I live in Canada and maybe people are more open to things like that here. (lower drinking age, relaxed culture). Also, what people might think of nightclubs stereotypically in LA or Vegas are quite different than the ones here, or at least the ones I go to. The clubs I talk about are often just trendy, fancy restaurants that turn into a lounge/club at night, and tend to be small.
Thank you, this helps a lot. It is a bit too late for me to change my major now - I could minor in economics, but I've heard that as long as I have a quantitative degree, it's not much of a problem. I am reading books and studying in my own time to learn finance.
I would love to make use of the career centre through school but my school has a separate business school (that require 2-3x the regular tuition) so things are pretty closed off within that school and it's difficult for me to make use of those resources. I will still try contacting alumnis from that school though.
I still find the idea of a mentor-mentee relationship unfamiliar as I'm pretty new to this whole thing. I'm warming up to it as I do have a mentor I met through an alumni mentorship program in my department, but sometimes I don't know what is appropriate and what's not. If I want to build a genuine relationship like you said, I'd have to be completely myself, casual, and talk like how I would talk to a friend? I'm unsure of where the limit is.
It's really not that hard, most friendships are mutually beneficial even between dudes, so here is how it goes:
Step 1: Do not sleep with anyone.
Step 2: Have girl friends that are good looking and always willing to go out with you.
Step 3: Make friends with those guys outside of the club.
Step 4: Invite those guys to go out with you and you friends.
Step 5: Do not sleep with your new friend(s)
Step 6: Hook them up and they will hook you up.
Edit: Between step 4-6 you should become buddies.
If you have no moral qualms with prostituting yourself to horny men at nightclubs in order to get ahead in the corporate world, then by all means go for it.
"...I'm just a hobbyist, I've learned the hard way about everything"
"When you're punching down, You're basically creating the electrical connection".
Check out the Saint Venus Theater, I heard they need "newbies" for their finance crowd.
...anyone aware?
Sounds like the Eyes Wide Shut orgy club to me...
Did you go brah?
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