NYC Bartender letter to powerful Hedge Funder

By now this story has made the rounds...

"Hedge Funder who allegedly grabbed waitress ass"
A SoHo bartender is fed up with misogynistic bros treating her like a piece of meat, and she's written a powerful open letter to the hedge funder who she says grabbed her ass at work. Laura Ramadei, an actor who tends bar at Lucky Strike on Grand Street, says that when she asked customer Brian Lederman what he'd like, he immediately groped her. And after she made it clear she wasn't enamored by his charms, he left her with a shabby tip. Ramadei's outraged Facebook message to Lederman is going viral, but we'd like to see it printed out on leaflets to be dropped over most of Manhattan and Williamsburg. Here it is in full:

My guess: money never smells better than when you wear it.

Also, do not leave a $2 tip on a $15 bill.

Opinions ?

Links:

http://gothamist.com/2014/09/17/nyc_bartender_has_a_powerful_messag.php

On DB http://dealbreaker.com/2014/09/hedge-fund-manager-keeps-a-detailed-reco…

 

So wait. She's a cocktail waitress which basically involves flirting with men and leading them on for tips, but NOW she's offended that dudes treat her like a piece of meat?

I tip everyone the same. IMO, anyone throwing cash at fake flirting and a pretty face is the most beta thing imaginable.

 

I love strip clubs, but I'm not making it rain only to get cheap perfume and glitter all over me. I throw some cash and have some fun but go home with barely a dent in my wallet. Some dudes get stars in their eyes and start funding college educations.

 

From the sounds of that guy, nothing. It's not really a settle-able event any longer. She told the world, the only thing you buy is silence.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

Yah, I mean I don't endorse groping waitresses as that's not acceptable. That being said, as long as women gravitate to men with money you'll have men who have money acting like this.

Dudes a HF manager. I'm sure he doesn't care what the lower percentiles thinks of him.

 
Best Response

I'm not a feminist or some politically correct pussy but flirting, asking for numbers or even being an asshole is one thing but grabbing a waitress' ass is another. But I do appreciate her wanting a job to live a comfortable lifestyle in NYC while working 30 flexible hours. I'm sure a lot of people would like that.

And anyone who's played the numbers game knows that hitting on waitresses and bartenders is one of the lowest probability games in town. Unless you're an movie or rock star it almost never works.

 

Also, I'm getting sick of servers posting receipts online. Like get a new job if you don't like the service industry. This righteous indignation coming from the liberal arts grads of the world is bullshit and needs to stop.

 

Thank you, my thoughts almost exactly. If you don't want to be at the mercy of customers' tipping generosity, get another job (you sniveling liberal arts entitled arrogant self-centered...). If Laura ever makes it big as an actress do you think she'll be an extra-generous tipper? Doubt it.

 
TNA:

Also, I'm getting sick of servers posting receipts online. Like get a new job if you don't like the service industry. This righteous indignation coming from the liberal arts grads of the world is bullshit and needs to stop.

I agree but did you see Shady's receipt went on eBay and for some reason a $100k bid is sticking in my head? Capitalism at its finest...

And lechiffre, it's a big if but if she made it big time, yes she would be a big tipper. Ex restaurant folks are almost always big tippers. Take it from someone who waited tables and bartended his way through college. I over tip all the time and it's not about ego, it's because I did those jobs and can now pay it back.

 

Im still hung up over the tip. $2 Bucks is more than enough of a tip for an overpriced Vodka and Cranberry or whatever tool drink this guy was imbibing. She got tipped fairly. Then again, I generally tip 2 bucks per cocktail, so its in line. The waitress can shove it for that one.

 

Yeah, I don't understand how she is somehow insulted on her tip. She basically got a dollar a drink or essentially 15% on the bill. Not to mention she obviously wasn't trying to flirt with this dude. Yeah, touching ass "with three fingers" or whatever is uncalled for, but I've seen waitresses sit on peoples laps and shit. She would have easily buttered this guy up and gotten a C note.

 

If I bought one drink at a bar I'd probably leave 2-3 dollar tip. That's not unreasonable in my opinion.

Second, this chick is a complete clown and tool. She's outraged because someone gave her shit at work? Big fuckin deal, grow a pair. This isn't the fuckin Care Bears. When I would get shit at work, it was people trying to sabotage my livelihood for their own benefit. So sorry some stranger put his hand on your lower back. Something you probably wouldn't have been so upset about if he left you a $40 tip on a $15 check. I bet you wouldn't have even had a "rage cry" in the bathroom after if that happened.

Chick is 29 (which btw is way too old to be a struggling artist/bartender). Grow up, she's not nearly hot enough to be so insufferable.

This dude is a huge douche nozzle too, btw. What a greasy cheese ball.

 

Lol, she's more masculine than her co-star.

Also, this chick is all pissed off because she's not hot enough basically.

Lets face it, if this girl was an 8, this douche nozzle NYPost-declared HF magnate could have gotten the same dopamine release if she blurted a few giggles in his direction. Because she's not anywhere close to attractive, he wasn't immediately neutered in front of her and had balls enough to grab her ass.

Moral of the story: if she was hotter this wouldn't have happened because he would have respected her more. Women get respect from men by being attractive. What a discovery.

 
Marcus_Halberstram:
Because she's not anywhere close to attractive, he wasn't immediately neutered in front of her and had balls enough to grab her ass.

Moral of the story: if she was hotter this wouldn't have happened because he would have respected her more. Women get respect from men by being attractive. What a discovery.

This is actually an insightful point, and I think this is exactly why she was upset. Not because he tried to hit on her (because as she herself admitted that happens every day) but because his overall behavior revealed that he didn't find her all that attractive.

It's not specifically the grabbing of ass that bothered her, I'm sure that exact same action could have been done by someone who found her very hot and flirted with her for a while first and she would have let it slide (no pun intended). It's almost like she's never been on a dance floor of any kind.

Also $2 tip on $15 is close to 15% and pretty standard and is what I would have given for average service. People tip in whole dollars and 3 on 15 is 20% which is for good service. I'm not sure that a 60% tip for pouring some liquid into a glass is entirely justified, but maybe I'm just tight-fisted.

 

The real question is: How much of that ass did he grab?

Then nothingness was not, nor existence. There was no air then, nor heavens beyond it. Who covered it? Where was it? In whose keeping? Was there then cosmic water, in depths unfathomed? -- Nasadiya Sukta
 

Neither of these people are sympathetic characters:

1) Treat your servers well. I have zero patience for people who are rude to waiters and bartenders whether they are men or women.
2) The waitress should not be even thinking about "taking revenge" or writing down the customers names in any situation. This is why the American credit card system sux...in Europe they bring the machine to you, you tyoe in your pin number, and then you take the card back. There is no time in that system for the waitress to spend time alone with the customers card. We need that system in the states and the waitress should be fired immediately for using a customers card info in any way. 3) The waitress also clearly is looking for attention/15 minutes of internet fame and this has nothing to do with "mysoginy". 4) But...One look at the dude tells you why this happened. he is a tool. The waitress isn't super hot but she is at least fukkable. The dude groped her because he would have no shot at her in real life even if he does make good money, that pisses him off, and his frustration comes out when he is drunk. The way to protect yourself against this is to not be an unattractive loser.

 
heister:

Your name is printed on the receipt.....

Only in the US...in Europe they have the "chip and pin" system. They hand you a card machine, you put in your info, the receipt comes out and you take it. The receipts vary but they never have your name on them...usually the time and amount of the transaction and the last four digits of your card number. You don't sign anything so there is no need for the waitress to know your name.

But regardless the waitress should never be even thinking about getting the customers info no matter how much of a douche he is....she should have been 100% fired over this.

 

She's doing her best "acting job" at being a Zooey Deschanel knock off. Either way, dude should look at who is serving him. She doesn't exactly scream "please grab my ass". He should have a better idea of who would care and not care. If the girl looks like an artistic liberal, she doesn't want you, and this could easily happen.

"Decide what to be and go be it." - The Avett Brothers
 
Marcus_Halberstram:

Err... bullshit. Almost every waitress/bartender/bottle service slut is an aspiring actress/model... and very large proportion would tolerate almost anything so long as it comes with a nice tip (no pun intended). However, in the event that they tolerate it and a fat tip doesn't follow... assemble the war crimes tribunal.

I completely agree with what you are saying. My only point is that he should've known by looking at her that she wasn't the best candidate to initiate drunken stupor with. If he doesn't want the heat about it, he should do a better job of picking who he flirts with. Most would tolerate it, this girl doesn't seem like the type. I definitely think a $30 on $15 tip would've left her smiling and singing his praise.
"Decide what to be and go be it." - The Avett Brothers
 

And your point is well taken about level of tolerance. If you don't like drunk guys around that don't know how to behave, don't work in a bar in NYC...

"Decide what to be and go be it." - The Avett Brothers
 

So much male privilege in this thread. Guys, she has every right to milk tips out of lonely guys and fain righteous indignation when a guy touches her. How dare any of you question her wanting her cake and to eat it also.

 

I really think that the moral of the story is: treat other people with respect (this includes bartenders/servers). Get your drink, tip ok, say thank you and move on. If you want to flirt, and are happy to take rejection/get bilked, fine. No excuse for groping or any such behavior hot or not. Aspiring artist or not. End of story.

I used to do Asia-Pacific PE (kind of like FoF). Now I do something else but happy to try and answer questions on that stuff.
 

as someone above mentioned 'no comment' would be best response, not that stupid comment HF guy gave.

as for the story: treat people with respect no matter who you are (or more often just who you think you are).

 

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