On Ambition, Cigars, and Women: The Finer Things in Life. A Conversation with a Refined Asian Gentleman (Target Schools only)

Dear Gentlewomen and Gentlemen of Elite Target Institutions:

I am writing to let you know that I have determined the finest things in life to be (in no particular order):

  • beautiful and smart white women with big round eyes and porcelain skin
  • cuban cigars
  • summer vacations “out east” in the hamptons and martha’s vineyard
  • Chteau Margaux fine wine
  • a fine, liberal arts education
  • engineering competence (for well rounded-ism)
  • white women
  • academic prestige and excellency (e.g., columbia, princeton, yale)
  • Polo (not the clothing)
  • yacht racing
  • sustained financial success in your proven field (banking, law, medicine, academia, research, etc…)
  • white women
  • an appreciation for classical music
  • an appreciation for other forms of cultural and artistic expression (raps about social issues, rock music with political fervor, etc…)

It is my sincere wish that my fellow Ivy League gunners and social entrepreneurs strive for the above-stated goals of excellency, ambition, and self-advancement.

Let us all become better, harder-working, and more refined gentlewomen and gentlemen of this fine institution and nation.

Sincerely,
Refined Asian Guy Class of 2012

 
Best Response
Refined Asian Guy:
Dear Gentlewomen and Gentlemen of Elite Target Institutions:

I am writing to let you know that I have determined the finest things in life to be (in no particular order):

  • beautiful and smart white women with big round eyes and porcelain skin
  • cuban cigars
  • summer vacations “out east” in the hamptons and martha’s vineyard
  • Chteau Margaux fine wine
  • a fine, liberal arts education
  • engineering competence (for well rounded-ism)
  • white women
  • academic prestige and excellency (e.g., columbia, princeton, yale)
  • Polo (not the clothing)
  • yacht racing
  • sustained financial success in your proven field (banking, law, medicine, academia, research, etc…)
  • white women
  • an appreciation for classical music
  • an appreciation for other forms of cultural and artistic expression (raps about social issues, rock music with political fervor, etc…)

It is my sincere wish that my fellow Ivy League gunners and social entrepreneurs strive for the above-stated goals of excellency, ambition, and self-advancement.

Let us all become better, harder-working, and more refined gentlewomen and gentlemen of this fine institution and nation.

Sincerely, Refined Asian Guy Class of 2012

Cool story bro. How's Ithaca this time of year?

"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
 

This post is so packed with disdainful social stereotypes and self-serving arrogance that when coupled with a sarcastic handle, it creates a paradox that is borderline amusing and acceptable. It's almost as if he came across an old paragraph written as an introduction for a public speaking class, contemplated submitting it to WSO, and concluded "Certainty of death, small chance of success... What are we waiting for?" Methink this is a decent troll. Bravo.

I haven't had a carb since 2004.
 

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