Our VP caught me masturbating. IS she going to report me to HR? Should I prepare?
Okay this isn't a joke.
Monday night I was working late in the office and there really wasn't anyone on the floor at the time. Pretty sure I was LITERALLY the only person in the office at the time because sometimes at night I get up from my desk and walk around, just to get a little bit of exercise before sitting back down and nobody was in.
So I was sexting this woman I'm sort of seeing and quite frankly, got a little turned on. Then she started texting over pictures of herself. I could not control myself AT ALL (not the first time it's happened actually. dont want to talk about college LOL). I tried hard to concentrate on my work but honestly I couldn't even fucking hit 3 keys without feeling like I want to fuck something. Don't laugh.
So then I unzipped my slacks and started rubbing one out. Well, I took it a little too far and forgot the time and didn't hear the fucking door across the room.
Fucking VP walks right by my cubicle, makes eye contact with me for a split second, then immediately looks down at my dick for a couple seconds apparently to register it in her mind that what she was looking at was, in fact, a man jacking off in the office. Then she keeps walking without responding and actually tripped on her way down the floor.
Anyhow, she's a real class act - didn't mention it to anyone (not even me!) NOW, I didn't become concerned until the girl I was wacking off to mentioned that what I did was public indecency and it might even be considered an offense in HR-terms. She told me to be careful that he VP didn't report me.
Should i be worried?






soulonfire: - Okay this isn't
- Okay this isn't a joke. - --> This usually means that it is a joke.
- So I was sexting this woman I'm sort of seeing and quite frankly, got a little turned on. Then she started texting over pictures of herself. I could not control myself AT ALL (not the first time it's happened actually. dont want to talk about college LOL). I tried hard to concentrate on my work but honestly I couldn't even fucking hit 3 keys without feeling like I want to fuck something. Don't laugh. - --> Irrelevant, revealing information.
Should i be worried?
Yes, you should be worried. Your trolling skills are terrible.
seedy
- Okay this isn't a joke. - --> This usually means that it is a joke.
- So I was sexting this woman I'm sort of seeing and quite frankly, got a little turned on. Then she started texting over pictures of herself. I could not control myself AT ALL (not the first time it's happened actually. dont want to talk about college LOL). I tried hard to concentrate on my work but honestly I couldn't even fucking hit 3 keys without feeling like I want to fuck something. Don't laugh. - --> Irrelevant, revealing information.
Should i be worried?
Yes, you should be worried. Your trolling skills are terrible.
you know, i really wish some people would stop fucking things up for those of us who actually want a real decent solution to a problem. how is that irrelevant? how seriously would you have taken my question if i had eliminated details and simply wrote "my vp came in and caught me jacking off after sexting a girl. am i screwed?" i know i wouldve thought the poster was joking in that one.
i know some of you might think im not being serious but i am. i hoped taking the time to add more info would help you believe that i really need some good advise if i took the time to write this shit. come on man.
Is your VP hot?
Is your VP hot?
Ask her if she liked what she
Ask her if she liked what she saw.
I'm guessing she didn't, which is why she walked right away.
This is slightly
This is slightly believable..well see where this thread goes.
The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee
WSO is not your personal search function.
If it means anything, OP, I
If it means anything, OP, I believe you.
"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows."
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Just wait and see what
Just wait and see what happens and report back.
The Four E's of investment
"The greatest Enemies of the Equity investor are Expenses and Emotions."- Warren Buffet
Its a medical condition, you
Its a medical condition, you can't help it
If you give her the dick,
If you give her the dick, could you sue for wrongful termination if she reports you to HR? :D
keep doing it...same night,
keep doing it...same night, same time. either you get reported and fired or a blowjob and a promotion. high risk, high reward.
are you sure she saw the
are you sure she saw the frank? the beans?
kruzon: keep doing it...same
keep doing it...same night, same time. either you get reported and fired or a blowjob and a promotion. high risk, high reward.
The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee
WSO is not your personal search function.
Well, OP, I believe you too.
Well, OP, I believe you too. Anyone who doesn't, hasn't read Monkey Business.
HOWEVER, I really think that you'll be fine. Let me explain: her options here are to "uphold ethics" and get rid of a potentially great analyst OR just not involve herself and hope it doesn't happen again. That said, come reviews, you better hope the decisions about you aren't up to her alone...
Just chill out and report back if anything is said!
Troob? Is that you?
Troob? Is that you?
Rookie mistake, should of
Rookie mistake, should of asked her to join you.
The reason she hasn't
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LOOOOOL she probably wouldn't
any update on this? haha
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Dude is this your first time
"Hope for the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes."
What we need is an update...
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Ahahahah this is gold
There is already a book on you. That book is already being written. And if I talked to your friends, your teachers, your professionals, your family, I would know so much about you I wouldn't even have to meet you. You write the book the way you want to be
Please tell me they lock the
GBS
what if she's a luker on WSO?
The Knicks are back?
update plz
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i'm guessing OP took my
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Ugh update please. This is
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I just read this, and it's
Update, please.
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peeing myself please update
Fellas, fellas. It's called