Personal Statement for Msc Banking and Risk

Please constructively criticize

Personal Statement for Postgraduate study in MSc Banking and Risk.

My fascination with business news on television, coupled with a passionate interest for the economics aspect of my Geography course at GCSE motivated me to study Economics at A Levels. During A levels, my awareness of the broad applications of economic theories to real life increased. This was a motivating factor in my decision to study Economics at University. Through careful considerations of my interests, preferences, abilities and options, I have decided to specialize in Banking by applying for an MSc in Banking and Risk.

At University, I took up the following finance modules; Financial Markets and Institutions in stage 2 and Financial Economics in stage 3. I performed better in the Financial Markets and Institutions module and I believe that this may be down to my choice to write an essay on ‘Banking Regulations and Financial Systems’, out of the four given options as this was the subject area that interested me the most. Although this does not excuse my performance in the Financial Economics module, where I attained a 2:2, I do not believe that my mark in Financial Economics is an accurate reflection of my ability to study Banking and Risk.
I am excited at the prospects of studying the banking and risk modules offered at your university, as I strongly believe that it will equip me with the understanding and skills needed to excel in the Banking and Finance industry.

Furthermore, I am also a member of the Finance and Investment Society at my University and have spoken to different finance professionals to help improve my understanding of the different careers in banking and finance. Therefore, I believe that an understanding of Risk combined with Banking will improve my performance in my future career, for example it can enable me to effectively minimize the negative effects which risks may have on the financial result and capital of a bank or business.

If selected, I believe that my hard-working nature, as well as experiences that I have gained on working smartly will enable me to excel academically. Additionally, studying Economics at university has helped develop my mathematical understanding, research skills, essay writing skills, report writing skills, team working skills, presentation skills, excel and SPSS skills. Finance modules have also introduced me to the concept of valuation and different methods of valuation. I will be able to apply these skills and knowledge when required.
Nevertheless, I will ensure to have the right attitude to enhancing and learning new skills and will prove myself to be an excellent student.
To further prepare myself for the world of Banking and Finance, I have acquired an internship as ‘Finance Directorate Intern’ at International Institute of Tropical Agriculture, where I will be trained on Cash Flow Planning, Asset Management, and Analysing Financial Reports and strategies

Moreover, work related experiences such as performance poetry, founding and leading the International Cooking Society, being a Bloomberg Student Ambassador, Teaching Assistant and Field Marketer, as well as, dealing with unexpected personal health circumstances and a relative’s unexpected health circumstances whilst studying have helped to build the well rounded person that I am today and will assist me in adapting to the self-management and social challenges of being a graduate student.

Last but not least, xxxxxxxxx University is well-respected all over the world by many, including my friends who attend the university and it would be a great opportunity to be taught at your university.

zAK

 
Best Response

I don't see the spark that took you from studying economics in high school and undergrad, to going into banking and risk. Also, the examples you provide of potential uses for your knowledge of risk and banking are blunt and don't showcase any interest towards these areas or any prerequisite knowledge. You don't provide any rationale for why you got a below par mark in your financial economics module either (connect it to the health issues maybe?). Your last sentence as to why you want to go to X university comes off as an afterthought with no real added value or any statement expressing why this institution and program would be a good fit for you and vice versa. Overall the letter just seems generic and uninspired to me and you just list ideas and events but don't do a good job of connecting them to why this university and this program/subject area is an ideal fit for you. Don't take this personally, this is just my opinion of the letter. Best of luck to you in getting in!

 

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