Definitely could use a better format or something to get rid of some of the white space.... like enlarging the name at the top and a couple other tricks. I'm not good at understanding why things are not "right" so I know I'm not helping you much, but coming from an accounting background - I wouldn't want my resume to say "BLAND" when applying for IB (if thats the goal)

 
Best Response

Way too thin, literally. Don't be scared to approach the edges of the page. I can't help you with the MM internship, as I obviously have no idea what you are doing - shouldn't you know that?

Do you have any honors you've earned in school? Any dean's list, anything to spruce up the education? Give UT Austin twice imo, once over the MPA and once over the BBA to make it clear you went back to get a master's. Also, shouldn't you have a grad date for undergrad?

You need to go through your work and have someone for whom English is their first language proofread it. You've got mixed tenses, passive verbs, etc... It's just very vague throughout what you actually did

MPA Ambassador? Ambassador to what? It is an admissions thing, I'm guessing, but say so, and make it sound spiffy - they wanted to show you off

"Student Writer and Actor of the UT Go Theatre Team" - that's shitty English, scrub it up and don't give the organization name twice. the initial name you have is confusing too - wtf is Go Theatre. Clarify imo

"Event Coordinator Internal" - lose that whole bit imo - just say something like: "Event Chair: Organized events for >5,000 guests"

Valedictorian Scholarship Receipient - Awarded to Valedictorian? Well, a) duh and b) duh. Maybe just say you were valedictorian

 

I reiterate what was said before - take out the interests. If it's not something job related or way out there (like crocodile hunting or something) it just says that you can't fill up the real estate on your resume with something more relevant - and you clearly have enough on there that you could expand on. As someone working at an Ibank, I don't care that you're interested in outdoor cooking. All I want to know is that you'll be able to perform. After you start, you won't have time for outdoor cooking anyway.

 
youngmoney:
I reiterate what was said before - take out the interests. If it's not something job related or way out there (like crocodile hunting or something) it just says that you can't fill up the real estate on your resume with something more relevant - and you clearly have enough on there that you could expand on. As someone working at an Ibank, I don't care that you're interested in outdoor cooking. All I want to know is that you'll be able to perform. After you start, you won't have time for outdoor cooking anyway.

I'd say it's ok - I don't think it is taking up space that could be used for something else, and if you happened by chance to be an outdoor cooking enthusiast this could give him a marginal boost. I don't see how it hurts...

 

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