Response when Yelled At

It's totally unprofessional

by formerMD (Orangutan, 290 Points) on 9/29/09 at 9:18am

It's totally unprofessional and rude, and unfortunately not unusual in investment banks. Two things to consider.
1) did you really screw something up; and
2) how the VP/MD handled it

You've got to address both. Show your maturity if it happens, and when he/she is done yelling, apologize for getting them so upset, tell them what you will do to address the immediate problem, and go do it.

Later that day or the next day you can address the question of fault and how it was handled. Depending on the relationship you have with the person, you can let them know that being yelled at in front of your co-workers was quite shocking and demotivating. If you don't have enough history with that person, better to use a more senior intermediary who can tell him/her who can deliver that message.

Work Clash: Resolving conflict with your boss - http://www.gottamentor.com/viewAdvice.aspx?a=334

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This job is full of so many

by jws43yale (Senior Monkey, 92 Points) on 9/29/09 at 11:23am

This job is full of so many pussies now. I understand if it is a girl, but if you actually do something wrong you should take it like a man, apologize and go on. Maybe I am the only one, but getting yelled at lights a fire under my ass whereas getting told "you did a great job, but you need to make sure X doesn't happen again" just makes you think you did a good job when you didn't

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yep

by WallStreetWhartonite (Baboon, 134 Points) on 9/29/09 at 1:47pm

thats interesting because it actually fits into the male paradigm. we actually need to get yelled at to do work.

scientifically proven

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This video has the

by Buyside CFA (Orangutan, 307 Points) on 9/29/09 at 1:58pm

This video has the answer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdTUMWzOW98

Formermd – you have once again shown how worthless you are. A 23 year old kid telling an md that he isn’t “comfortable” being yelled at? Give me a fucking break.

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Depends on the

by Marcus_Halberstram (Neanderthal, 2072 Points) on 9/29/09 at 4:34pm

Depends on the situation.

ie. I used to work with a SR VP who was very very alpha. He went off on me one day and at first I was like WTF, this is bullshit, unprofessional etc... then when I really thought about it, the SRVP expects alot from himself and alot from the people he works with. What he expected from me was not too far off from what he expects from himself. I didn't take it to heart and just worked harder. I actually enjoyed whenever I worked with him because he always expects alot out of you, and obviously sometimes thats a double edged sword... and you either deal with it or you don't work with one of the rock stars in the firm.

On another instance, a MD bitched me out in an internal meeting. This MD was pretty abrasive and often times would have verbal altercations with others. Not only that, but he was a real shit fuck. He would take a jab at you, and keep going back and forth and at the end, he'd just laugh at you and be like "ok ok, what are you getting so worked up about?" I saw him do this countless times with other people. One could interpret it as just being playful, but more often than not it was condescending. When he called me out, I said "dont talk to me like that. You may butt heads with X and Y from time to time, but I dont want to be spoken to like that nor do I speak to you like that."

End of story. He did his same "woah woah, why is everyone getting so heated in here" kind of thing. It helped that I knew how he was and already knew how I would deal with him if he ever came at me. I think it also got me some points with seniors and to see me stick up for myself. An obvious reason this didn't end badly was because #1- his criticism was clearly not a valid point, if I were in the wrong, I would have had to more or less take any shit he flung at me. Additionally, he tries making light of the altercation to make you seem petty. If the other person has a huge ego, you're not going to want to counter-call him out in front of everyone.

Its more specific to the person. You have to know how to manage relationships, and its important to demonstrate that you're not going to set a precedent for being disrespected. That being said... I know for a fact there is an MD I work with, when and if he ever loses his temper on me, Ill just sit there and take it and I won't be able to say shit to him unless its worth losing my job over.

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What?

by stk123 (Senior Orangutan, 473 Points) on 9/30/09 at 7:01pm

"This job is full of so many pussies now..."

"Take it like a man..."

What the hell are you guys talking? Since when is apologizing and moving on called "taking it like a man".? You guys are the ones without balls.

If my (or any other) associate/VP/MD were to yell at me, I would tell him to go f*ck himself. Ain't no one gonna yell at me at work for any reason.

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Quick story

by BankonBanking (King Kong, 1069 Points) on 9/30/09 at 8:44pm

Quick story:

I knew a kid who worked in Lev Fin (he left, but not for this reason, and it was his choice, but moving on). As he told it to me, one of his VPs (who wasn't even a VP that frequently staffed him, but rather one that came over when his analysts were way too jammed and the staffer said go elsewhere) bitched him out quite openly and quite loudly almost every time they worked on a project together. My friend was actually a strong analyst in the group and after being reamed really hard in front of a number of other LF bankers, who decided he had enough. He went to talk to the staffer not to bitch and whine, but to say that he just didn't want to work with X - he chewed him out unnecessarily and frequently in front of others. The staffer politely apologized for the rudeness of the VP but continued by saying something along the lines of, "this is banking, X is under a LOT of pressure and you are going to have to deal with it - is it always the right way to handle the situation, probably not, but it is what it is. You will work with him if he needs an analyst and if you are the one available for staffing and that will be that - if you don't like it, I'm sorry, but you are an analyst - he is a VP and brings in business." And that was the end of that convo.

Sorry for the lengthy story, and I know this is not always the case, but listen, if you want to be a banker, you have to be ready to deal with a lot of type A personalities that like things done their way and like it done ASAP, and correctly. If you don't like the stress, pressure, and, when you screw up (or when sh*t rolls downhill and lands at your feet) sometimes getting reamed, this may not be the business for you. Is every senior banker like this, absolutely not, but you do run into them from time to time - even the nicer ones snap if under enough pressure at different points in the year. My advice: bitch to anyone who will listen, keep your head in the game, buckle down, and rock the next assignments or the corrections. If you have an MD that likes some back and forth ribbing, that's different, but if you are in the wrong place, or just wrong, deal with it - it's one project, one day.

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If you know you made a

by jackofalltrades (Gorilla, 741 Points) on 9/30/09 at 9:49pm

If you know you made a mistake say you're sorry and it won't happen again. If there's another reason then speak up.

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Book Recommendation

by yesman (Gorilla, 501 Points) on 10/2/09 at 1:49pm

read 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'....I'm dead serious. This book is 80 years old and still proves that common sense is never common. Anybody who wants to make it far in business should study it.

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I worked with an MD at my

by Buck2210 (Baboon, 161 Points) on 10/3/09 at 1:22pm

I worked with an MD at my firm exclusively and ended up quitting because of his abusive nature. It didn't help that the Associate would throw me under the bus any time he could, and I was still given top bucket in both of my years at the firm.

Basically, it comes down to who you work for. I could have never told my MD to "go fuck himself" - he would have freaked out. During the times I got chewed out, I just had to sit there and take it. One time I spoke up and tried to defend myself and a typical 2 minute chew out turned into a 30 minute heated debate.

I'd recommend just keeping your mouth shut and saying you are sorry and let your work speak for itself. If you consistently produce solid work and you are still treated like dirt, talk to your staffer or group head about changing your situation. And if they can't help you - quit. Life is too short to waste away your life in a cubicle thinking about how much you hate your life.

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Moron

by jws43yale (Senior Monkey, 92 Points) on 10/6/09 at 6:52pm

Tell an MD to shut up in those exact words and let me know how it goes.

There is a reason banks like hiring athletes because they can take criticism as opposed to the normal obnoxious assholes who think they are above getting yelled at since they had perfect grades their entire life, went to an Ivy, whatever. If you can't take getting yelled at than this job isn't for you and you should go take one of those "other options out there".

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Sad but true sometimes you have to suck it up

by Machine (Senior Monkey, 97 Points) on 10/6/09 at 8:15pm

I remember a Summer Intern from a target last year who almost cry after my MD yelled at him (and me) during an internal meeting. The intern played it like "what? I don't get your point of view?"...BAD TRY...My MD was so pissed I thought he was going to punch him in the face! He didn't...

Easy to say, hard to do but sometimes you just have to be patient and if you continually produce good work, sooner or later, you will earn some respect.

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Wow, I can't believe that

by stk123 (Senior Orangutan, 473 Points) on 10/8/09 at 6:09pm

Wow, I can't believe that you people think that getting yelled at work is a normal course of business. No one should yell at you at work for any reason; it's just a fucking job.

The only time you may deserve to be yelled at is if you fuck up so badly that you deserve to be fired, and even then you shouldn't be yelled at but simply fired.

But if you are getting yelled at for making a typo in a pitchbook or some other stupid shit like that then you should stand up for yourself and not just simply apologize and sit quiet.

I pity you fools!

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Have only properly gotten

by Oconnor (Orangutan, 273 Points) on 10/10/09 at 12:38pm

Have only properly gotten yelled at once by an MD and that was over the phone so it did limit the impact. I was very pissed off though but the guy (who is normally pretty chilled out) realised himself that he shouldn't have shouted and started trying to be friendly towards the end of the conversation.

As people said it does depend on the situation and who the person is. In my case even though it wasn't actually fully justified the fact that it was late at night, the person was travelling and it was out of character for them I just took it and moved on. If it happened again though I would certainly bring it up afterwards.

In general though shouting at a single person isn't deemed acceptable (vs an MD shouting at the vp assoc. and analyst that the book sucks for example), HR comes down hard on that stuff due to all the court cases there have been - I have heard of people supposedly having had to have talks with HR over their reputation. Also heard a story of an MD who got fired for throwing something at somebody.

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Guys, guys, Even summer

by big unit (Gorilla, 585 Points) on 10/10/09 at 4:58pm

Guys, guys,
Even summer interns get yelled at. I seriously don't understand how any of you guys have been in front office at a BB without seeing people absolutely getting yelled at once in a while.

Its even worse in trading where people yell at each other. Seeing researchers and traders yell at salespeople is really funny too.

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Yes people do got yelled at

by Newbie_banker (Baboon, 112 Points) on 10/11/09 at 2:07pm

Yes people do got yelled at a lot in banking. Does this mean that it's justifiable and junior people should just take it? No. MD once yelled at me because he's in a bad mood. I told him that there's no reason for him to treat me this way and I left the room immediately. I told staffer and he took my side.

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