Best Response

Hey, i would get that Merrill Lynch out of your work experience and put it under activities. I no way shape or form can that be labled work experience.

Your lax nomination is quite comical....i would remove that unless if you were on a legit team that competed in a conference and your peers voted you and you picking up lax that fast sounds like the talent isn't great unless if your a phenominal ahtlete.

You definitley need to strengthen your bullets. More results instead of framework. Quite frankly you need to add in more detail. I only had one internship but had a plethora of activities to write down on my resume, atleast more than 4 bullets.

Your resume simply doesnt jump out at me and needs some reworking. Id also use a different font. Hope you get some more persepctive.

 
drexelalum11:
Definitely could see how this is a problem. The marginal day won't kill you, take tomorrow to have career services look it over and add some weight to this.

The whole thing just seems way too lightweight. I'm sure you have other honors and jobs - add them on, because this is why you're not making it through resume screens

career services at my schools is embarrassing and terrible. they told me to put my business club under experience because it dealt with finance...

could you pls elaborate?

jobs: i had some random job at home depot for a year as a cashier thats about it for work experience. should i add it? i thought it would make my resume look kind of childish.

honors: i have some pretty intimidating math classes and standard econ- would 'relevant coursework' help for corp finance? deans list two semesters- is that noteworthy? varsity highschool football, top state physics team in highscool- add at bottom? thats about all the honors i have

and the lax is no joke. we have no varsity team so all the people who would play varsity play on this club team. we go to competition and play other schools in the state every weekend. captain chose me as a starter over a lot of other guys. not sure how to best represent

so if it is lightweight what should i look to lengthen/elaborate on. i feel like idiot having like 6 or 7 bullets for one 12 week internship. also how can i add more results i thought i focused on results

 

Since the internship is the only relevant job, you can expand on that by adding more bullet points. For all of them, your framework should be context-action-result. And take out the interests. If you were in the shoes of whoever is reviewing your resume, would you care that the kid you're trying to evaluate is interested in music? No.

 

your hedge fund experience screams out 'computer geek' instead of finance. I would say add in more detail to what you did, and try to shape it into more 'finance', definitely hard, but worth a try. You did a good job at puting in numbers and results though. It's definitely lacking in substance overall, i think you can def add more details to each bullet, about two lines for each, and expand on your political club experience since you're the founder. More results and action for each bullet. addd in dates and location for those experience. Add in an 'Additional' section i guess, and put computer skills (since you have some), your interest, and other miscelleneous but worth mentioing stuff in there. I also think the formating can look nicer, but that might just be me.

just some raw thoughts.

 

I would definitely shorten the lax thing - six lines on a club sport? you're not trying out for mll dude. move that to the bottom, maybe one line, two MAX.

-Founding the club should be at the top of your activities -don't give titles for your clubs if you're just a "member" -include the cashier, try to make it sound a bit more financy and focus on how you were responsible and had to have attention to detail when making change, etc. Others may disagree that it isn't finance enough, but you don't really have anything else... -honors, i'd say definitely add dean's list, feel free to add the physics thing, though i wouldn't play them up too much they'll add a little to the resume -you could give one line of relevant courses under education -type out forty rather than use numbers -agree the hf role says geek, make it more finance -the business club, speak to what sort of analysis you used, give specific ROR

 

I'm not qualified to comment on what makes a good sell of hf experience, but from the laymen's view, I agree your HF experience screams nerd and not finance. That's great you did those things, and you have room to work with. May want to seperate bullets into finance stuff and computer stuff. what investment theses did you research and help defend, what were the results of the trades you helped put together? Alpha, returns...something man. We need to quantify your finance experience.

 
  1. get a better format - no you can't use mine - be creative
  2. talk about the discussions or what you learned or strategy of the fund
  3. everyone knows you go to brown at this point - list relevant courses to prove interest since u go to brown
  4. put in your qualities, "leadership led to the 2007 lax championship by improving to x wins.... blah blah"
 

I can see what happened with the preselects. Your resume needs a lot of work; like everyone said, you need to have much more detail, impact of your contributions, and put more of a finance spin onto it.

Since I'm not really sure where to begin, you better take a look at these following resources to get a gauge of the level yours needs to be:

Darden resumes: http://student.darden.virginia.edu/DPEC/documents/DPEN2008Resumes.pdf

Tuck resumes: http://mba.tuck.dartmouth.edu/pecenter/resources/2008_Resume_Book.pdf

 

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