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Career Resources
Always quantify your descriptions and put some flavor to your words...
"Analyzed 3 technology and 6 consumer service companies for prioritizing $220M in early-stage/growth capital"
"Worked with 6 PMs on determining 4 different investment criteria factors that resulted in a projected 32% return to our firm's LP's"
Instead of planning to write an investment thesis, just say you are writing an investment thesis on XXX
"Writing an undergraduate thesis on the undervaluation of XXX Company based on XXX,XXX,XXX
Also, unless you went to a prestigious HS where there are lots of strong and loyal alumni, I would drop HS
Why do you sub-bullet out your experiences? There is no reason to do that.
"Evaluated and analyzed potential investments to help prioritize opportunities for the investment team" this sounds better but even then you want to elaborate further.
Small business bullet sucks
Why Work-Related Activities?, why not just EC's?
Why are all your rewards from HS?
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