Sex with colleagues
Have you done it? What were the consequences? Did you feel pressured to do so when propositioned by a Senior colleague of the opposite sex?
Ok, so I have slept with a Senior colleague (female) after a work function. She was probably a good 15 years older than me. Pretty gross hey. No problems until I turned down her advances at a gathering later the same year. Then, in no uncertain terms, she told me what it meant for the remainder of my time working under her.
Have also slept with some Junior colleagues. Was I abusing my position of Seniority? Would I have got that girl if it were not for this reason? Anyway, this was at my old firm and I have a clean slate where I work today.
Is Sex With Colleagues Ok?
Sex with colleagues can get complicated fast so it’s important to keep a few key issues in mind. If you’re going to sleep with someone it’s often a good idea to choose a partner who’s the same seniority as you. This helps avoid anyone holding any power over the other and eliminates the risk of this power.
User @CompBanker put it like this:
It's taboo if you are not both at the same relative level analyst to analyst or if you're both senior folks.
While user @wintonheights admits to having crossed the line, his advice is as follows:
It’s definitely taboo, and an absolute no. and its really not worth the risk…That being said. I am a hypocrite. I’ve done it…The best advice, leave company parties, sales dinners, etc early enough to avoid these situations and don’t drink too much. Also, when people are in close quarters together, work long hours and find each other attractive, these things are bound to happen, so be careful. but I think we’d all be surprised about how much of this goes on undercover.
If you choose to have sex with colleagues, discretion is essential. You don’t want to become part of office gossip and have that be what you’re remembered for. Also, double check your company’s policies on such things.
Read More About Office Etiquette On WSO
- Correlation Between Unethical Behavior And Success
- Company Happy Hour, Intern Etiquette
- Holiday Greeting Email Etiquette
Looking for guidance in your career?
With a network of more than 200 mentors, WSO’s Mentor Service can help increase your chance of landing a job by over 12x. Our mentors are top employees at the most selective firms. Find your mentor today.
I think you can answer some of your own questions. Now that you're at a new shop, would you do some of the same things again? Let us know, hah. IMO there's enough tail out there that dipping one's pen in the company ink is a pretty bad idea, but that's just my view...
Yeah I'm done with that. Of course I am sure that I was not first in line for that old partner. That horny old bitch had a thing for the young analysts so we were definetly sharing spit there. Gross
Imagine if it were a male MD forcing analysts to sleep with him
So gnarly...
If some old grubmeister man tried to bang some female analysts, they could just go hubub and that dude would be fired for sexual harassment. banks are sensitive to that stuff. but we know guys will bang even sloppy seconds even if they're 20 years senior.
tell us, what did it mean for your last year? also, aren't cougars usually hot or was she like a bad ham sandwich?
oh gad thats a disgusting image.
we've all almost been there, but only a select few have actually hit that up
I'm curious.. I may soon find myself in situations where I can dip my pen in the company's ink... is this totally taboo and an absolute NO NO?
It's taboo if you are not both at the same relative level analyst to analyst or if you're both senior folks.
its definitely taboo, and an absolute no. and its really not worth the risk.
that being said. i am a hypocrite. ive done it. lets see. an md's admin, a business manager, a trading assistant and an analyst. what can i say. i love beautiful women and im a gad damn whore sometimes (the narcissist in me!). LUCKily enough i never had it blow up in my face. to this day ive never told any of my work friends. and none of the girls know about each other. and im still somewhat friendly with all of them. i did have a few scares and close calls, but i would not take it back. its kind of dangerous, i liked that. i guess its a clinton thing!
the best advice. leave company parties, sales dinners, etc early enough to avoid these situations and dont drink too much. also when people are in close quarters together, work long hours and find each other attractive, these things are bound to happen, so be careful. but i think wed all be surprised about how much of this goes on undercover.
oh and thank goodness this forum is anonymous!
so it's ok if they are on your level?
Don't worry Piper it won't happen to you
Hooking up with a Co-Worker (Originally Posted: 06/13/2012)
Anyone ever witness it or be a part of it?
uhhhh, yes. and?
Who hasn't done both?
If there's one thing worse than lawyer chicks, it's banker chicks.
Who in their right mind would hook up with a banker chick in a city with as many options as New York?
Yes and Yes... and?
Amanda told me she liked my shoes once.
oh man amanda wants it sooooooo bad
I've witnessed a ton, and have been hit on by both older (more than 10 yrs) and younger (c. 5 yrs) guys in the office. Not a fan though.
By witness do you mean literally or figuratively?
Banging a chick who works for the same company but different office (Originally Posted: 07/27/2009)
So, I'm in the midst of our first yr training and there is this really attractive girl who works for the same company but in a different office/country altogether (training involves workers from 4 different countries).
Is there any risk in banging her? I would never do such a thing if we were in the same office, but given that we work in totally different countries/divisions, I think it's ok.
Any thoughts?
Going to need to see a picture before I can OK anything.
Its just training. Bang away.
It's common practice. Go for it.
I rented a beach house for a while after I started making some real money in equities, and one weekend I decided to throw a party. Several people planned on just crashing there, and since it was a small place, I told them to bring tents and just camp out on the beach in front of my house.
At the time, there was a berm in front of my house about 4 feet high (some kind of coastal reclamation project), and about as wide. One enterprising young co-worker decided to pitch his tent on top of the berm.
I had a keg and a full bar going, catered with food. My firm actually paid for it, if you can believe that. Anyway, everyone is just hanging out drinking when this guy heads for his tent with a chick from another office. It's getting to be about sunset, so everyone kinda meanders over to where we can drink and watch the sunset over the ocean (West Coast, obviously). As the sun starts to dip behind this guy's tent, everyone gets an eyeful of these two going at it in the tent.
They have no idea. We could see everything perfectly through the fabric walls of the tent. When they finish up and emerge from the tent, they receive a standing ovation from the crowd.
At first he tries to play it off like they were just "talking" until he comes down to where we're all standing and someone goes inside the tent and moves around to show him what it looks like and they both knew they were busted.
The WSO Guide to Understanding TARP
haha hilarious!
I have to applaud that story.
don't some companies tell ppl during training its okay as long as you let your manager know lol, at least thats what ive heard.
^um, no
so you saw some girl in training who's cute and now you think you can get her in bed as easy as that?
you don't have the balls.
two people in my analyst training program (a guy and a girl, if that needs to be specified) were hooking up the entire time. It was reasonably public -- in that the 2nd year analysts all seemed to know about it -- but nothing ever came of it.
is there any indication that she is into you? seems a bit presumptuous otherwise, no?
Intra-Firm hookup (Originally Posted: 07/31/2007)
I met a hot guy at a bar the other night. He's really hot and wanted to take me home, but I don't hop into bed with guys I've just met. But we're probably gonna meet up again soon, we're still talking and whatnot. I don't really wanna date him, just think he's sexy and mildly interesting.
But...he works at the same company. It's a big firm, and he's in a different division. But it's close enough that I'm a little concerned. I start as an analyst soon and don't want to have any reputation issues.
Anyway, is it cool to hook up with someone who's in a different division without fear of rumors? Like, if you're in IBD and you wanna hook up with someone in wealth management? I'm just so scared, I know when a woman gets a rep it's much worse than a guy who sleeps around or whatever.
He's so hot that I don't know if I'll be able to resist though.
holla holla holla holllaa
shuda gave him a fake name
tap that ass.
youre in this field because you like to indulge. like you said, you wont even be able to resist that hunka man meat. the repercussions wont be bad. even in the unlikely case that word does get to your department, whats the worst that could happen? all the analyst guys will treat you more nicely in hopes of getting in your pants, and you can lead the relatively cute ones on and get them to do your work or use them for drinks, or anythign else you like.
good luckk!
dude, you're a funny guy. for some reason, your posts absolutely crack me up.
Go for it! You are going to get really busy once work starts, so having someone on the go when you do start would be a great stress reliever. In terms of rumors, chances are he is going to brag about it to his mates. But if he is in a completely different department then I do not know why it matters, you won't ever have to deal with them. Then again, it depends on whether there is any interaction between your departments. Also, if its just one guy in the department, you wouldn't really be portrayed as a slut. Best thing to do is diversify.....in diff departments which do not have close contact w/ one another.
Presently am involved with a sales girl (who sounds not unlike fp175) who works a couple of floors above me.
For obvious reasons neither of us told anyone at work but rumours abound everywhere regardless..... (FYG though my rep has gone shooting up) her rep? well she has this couldn't care less attitude and it doesn't seem to have affected anything... so I wouldn't let that stand in the way!
I mentioned somewhere else that a female analyst once asked a male analyst out and got turned down - she got mocked so much she moved to a different city!
I find that the 'hoe' or any other disrespectful name gets placed on girls that don't look good. So if you look good, the chances people will talk about you in a negative way is very low.
hot=acceptability to sleep around average=better not sleep around too much ugly=you're a hoe if you sleep around
Yeah well in retrospect I wouldn't have told him I work for the same company. But his ugly friend was talking to me, mentioned it and I was like "Yeah I work for them too." Then he called his friends over, one of which was the hottie.
Yeah well he's in a different building, and plus I only want to hook up with him, not anyone else, so I don't think I could be called a hoe for that. I think I will go for it.
Bad move, get ready for the rep.
git it gurlll
Hmmm. Don't do it. Not worth it.
You already know if it is a good idea or not and are looking for our approval.
Same company and you want it to be just a fling. When he sees you in the company what do you think he will tell others.
Good luck with that I suggest you get your self a good headhunter.
"Don't screw the crew"
No I actually don't know if it's a good idea. That's why I'm asking.
Hot legs, If you don't know, then don't do it. There are plenty of guys outside your firm, why risk it.
This sucks though, my firm is fucking huge. Everywhere I go I meet people who work for the same damn bank. It's not fair, guys can do whatever they want. I want to hook up with one guy and it will make me a slut? Dammit. And I don't even hook up that often, I'm really well-behaved.
BOO gender norms. This is garbage.
Thats the way the cookie crumbles. Im sure you can hok up with someone outside the firm. Just drop me a line.
Sounds like a firm full of hotties any cute girls apart from you. What bank are you at.
i dont knwo what these guys are talking about. its unfair that a girl cant get some action within the firm. one idea: maybe if you dont put out for a while... like.. 2-3weeks? but continue to talk and be friends with him... he wont have as much reason to talk smack because u werent exactly easy to get.
does that make sense? it made sense in my head...
FP175.
I propose a whole new section 'FP175' musings become reality. You can randomly muse about your hookups, ugly guy stories, etc.
.
So what if there is. As long as her measurements are up to scratch.
OK I'm not gonna hook up with him.
I hope he checks this site, he'll be pissed that you guys cockblocked him.
Good call.
thats his problem as long as you aint blockin me :)
i cant believe this guy is hitting on a girl through an internet message board
Check the 'Drunk' topic to see random 99 really hit on fp175. But maybe someone can say i'm doing the same by asking her "Are you really that hot". My question stems from skepticism rather than 'hitting on someone'.
Hey you fool, Im just kiddin. I wouldnt do that could be a monster for all I know. Its just a bit of a joke.
I did get a message from one user (not random99) asking if I'm hot. Hahahahaha.
I assume everyone on here is average looking, feel free to assume the same about me.
I'm happy to say I msg'd you. In the 'Drunk' topic a few days ago, you labored the point of how great your legs were that it begged the question " Are you really hot "
I still feel you should post a picture of yourself with a trashbag on your head. It's only fair.
lol.
Thanks for clearing that up. Maybe I should send you a messgae. Forget it.
Are you hot? Vital stats and leg measurements please?
id be willing to bet that there are not too many people on this board with movie-star good looks. just a hunch.
...maybe id check out 'greysanatomyoasis.com' and try to find a few ditzy lookers over there.
to the op, if you are hot, my apologies as well as your number, please
I modelled whilst studying, for a brand you'll all know. Hated the people.
First of same all, at my bank I see the same faces every day, so you are OK.
Also, I'm assuming you just graduated from college. You are in your prime. Go get it while its good. If work dominates your sex life to, you've given into the man completely.
(I'm a rising senior dude btw, and for what its worth have no chance hooking up with any hot 1st years here of which there is probably 1.5-2)
seriously...don't do it. it can quickly turn into a disaster. I've seen it before. find someone else.
hahaha can't do it.
I love the way I'm being recommended not to hook up with the guy in question, but posting a sexy pic of myself in a mini-skirt on an internet forum would be a good idea.
You're just going to have to use your imaginations, sorry.
Et ipsum aut consequatur et sequi omnis. Commodi dolore consectetur quia doloremque. Impedit aut perspiciatis sit voluptatem. Perspiciatis voluptas quibusdam et eum veritatis non eum distinctio. Molestias ad officiis nemo sit.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Magni molestiae voluptates provident porro alias rerum dolorum. Mollitia ducimus nemo exercitationem sit magnam.
Consequatur temporibus officiis tempora rem nam voluptatum deleniti. Assumenda nisi atque eos autem corporis et. Distinctio ut dolor eveniet est aut harum nesciunt. Modi excepturi dolores molestiae ut totam. Debitis est laudantium sunt nihil et dolorum.
Et unde dolores quos magnam. Odio officia odio doloremque accusamus autem est autem. Commodi aut dolores dolore.
Non cum est soluta illum necessitatibus. Accusamus et exercitationem dolores. Quam reprehenderit cum libero qui et.
Doloremque quo eius quidem explicabo et officiis voluptatem. Quam iusto eaque aut qui. Inventore ipsa laborum dolorum et.
Aut voluptatibus non minus cupiditate officia quia. A sit blanditiis rerum quam. At quia error dignissimos veritatis reiciendis omnis et. Consequatur quia qui nam maiores. Vero autem est amet pariatur voluptas fugiat dolores non. Quia quam in vel iure dolore.