Broke up with the Mrs last week - was living with her for over a year.. got onto tinder. Fucking love this shit. Only issue is that I still love the ex.. So playing the game feels unnatural but it's just so much fun.. Anyway.. Cutting story short.. Heading on a date next week with this bird.. Real cute. Anyway, anyone got any suggestions on what to do/ what works to get up and close... Also she's going to want me to go on Facebook.. How can I avoid giving her my details cause all my pictures are with my ex basically and I just cannot be bothered fixing it.
Trending Content
| +81 | GF doesn’t care about her looks | 49 | 14h | |
| +55 | Affair with my Associate… In Desperate Need for Advice | 23 | 6h | |
| +41 | How to sound more eloquent? | 16 | 5h | |
| +39 | Insurance as High Finance? | 10 | 2d | |
| +38 | 400k/year in HVAC sales? | 26 | 1d | |
| +33 | Would you rather live alone in an outer borough or with roommates in Manhattan? | 23 | 2d | |
| +27 | WSO Ranking On Resume??? | 6 | 8h | |
| +27 | Why do people listen to Jim Cramer Investing Advice? | 10 | 10h | |
| +26 | Is my boss gaslighting me? | 3 | 8h | |
| +25 | Carnivore Diet | 9 | 10h |
Career Resources
Wouldn't get too close, might peck your eyes or try to rip your hair out to use in her nest
how about you just fix the pics
don't be on FB. never add women you date on FB if you are. don't have a FB profile pic. fake name preferred
Just go in with an open mind and don't get too wound up over the details. Don't worry if she sees your FB either, I've always let Tinderellas check mine out and if the date doesn't go anywhere she won't remember you after a week anyway. Be yourself and make moves based on how you feel the atmosphere/mood is, don't try any PUA stuff.
helped a friend through a breakup a couple of years ago (long time gf), it's tough getting back on the horse. take it easy, don't force something because you clearly are still dealing with feelings from your ex. this helps in 2 ways, it lowers your stress, and women get a confident Idontgiveashitaboutyou attitude, that you're just out there to meet people and if something happens, great, if not oh well. if you go in wanting to close too soon, you'll come off as desperate, nobody likes desperate.
what worked for him was just to be around friends whose girlfriends had hot friends, he already knew people there so it was an easier environment to work versus tinder. he also immediately purged his FB, I'm talking hours. no pics,no evidence. if I were in the same situation, I'd probably save them to my hard drive but get them off FB.
I got back with my college girlfriend a while back, but I was on okcupid on-and off for a couple of years inbetween short and mid-term relationships (I guess tinder has taken okcupids mojo later). Below is my advice...I went on 50-60 dates, slept with 9 of them. I was mid-20's NYC male, and generally dated girls in marketing, med school, grad school, consulting,etc...if you're dating hipster girls, or different age groups, advice might be less pertinent:
1) She won't add you on facebook, I don't know why you are worried about this. I never added girls I was dating on okcupid onto facebook, and they never asked. The few I wanted to stay friends with after casually hooking up with, I added, but that's about it.
2) It's rare for anything serious to come out of online dating, but not impossible. Longest I dated someone from there was 3-4 months....In real life I've had plenty of long-term relationships, but I think through online dating its hard to build something serious without a foundation of mutual friends or shared experiences... I also think being forced to escalate quickly makes it feel a bit unnatural and forced. After sleeping with a girl on the first date, or even the 2-3 of third, it's hard to build an emotional connection with her...it was for me at least, I guess maybe I liked the chase? That said, my friend did date a guy she met on there (her very first date too!).
3) Date wise...I generally did a wine bar. I don't know if the wine bar is the "best" move, I actually had the best luck when I started the date out at a dive bar, I don't really know why. That said, wine-bar gave a pretty high success rate, and you can't really go wrong. I heard doing activities (e.g. rock climbing) is best, because the excitement for the activity carries over onto excitement towards you... but then you're stuck there with her for while, and don't have alcohol as a crutch if you need it.
4) I always gave a hug on the hello, it shows confidence.
5) If things were going well, I'd say "lets get a drink somewhere" else, and then kiss her or make out with her on the way there. It's important to escalate quickly...but don't be creepy, make sure you can read the signs and aren't forcing yourself on her. Don't get too drunk.
6) Don't argue with her on disagreements in politics and religion (but if you agree on these topics, its fine to discuss), and let her do most of the talking (but do lead the conversation and ask a lot of questions..come across as interested, not shy).
7) DO NOT MENTION YOUR EX UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.
8) On the three dates I ordered a cranberry vodka, I got laid...I always wanted to try it out further to see if this was a fluke, or if I've discovered something.
9) Make yourself sound interesting, and don't be self-depreciating. Pretend it's a job interview. Even if you're an accountant, jazz up your job and life style. Don't make fun of yourself, it reeks of low self esteem.
Also, don't forget condoms.
Some good tips here, with the exception of rock climbing on the first date lol. The cranberry vodka thing might have worked because it somehow showed confidence if it was congruent with the rest of your demeanor...most guys wouldn't dream of ordering something fruity/girly/colorful.
Speakeasies and cocktail bars are not bad for first dates.
Also any recs for good wine bars in nyc?
my go-to place in alphabet city/ east village was 10 degree on st marks and A. Had some unique things (e.g. chocolate and orea vodka cocktail) that made it interesting...plus it was really close to my apt.
I like any place you can try unique foods or drinks together (without it being too crazy), helps with the bonding.
Looks like Business Insider agrees with you:
http://www.businessinsider.com/weird-reasons-fall-in-love-2014-7#if-you…
Interesting. I will try this. SB'ed
how old are you?
@"OpsDude"
First few sentences made you seem beta, but then you slowly became awesome :)
I think the alpha and beta framework is a bit silly. All the guys I know who talk about being "alpha" are complete losers who never get laid and are completely delusional. If they do get laid, they are banging some overweight single mother, and think that someone makes them awesome.
Really all you need to do is be confident. By your late 20's, even that is less important, and you just need to be nice, successful, and well-groomed. By late 20's, a lot of the financially successful, nice guys who are "beta" are marrying the girl that had "friend-zoned" them when they were 20. Say what you want, but they have the happiest relationships I've encountered.
Post as many pictures as possible with as many dimes or as close to dimes as you can manage. Nothing better than preying on the insecurity of the female gender.
I thought this too, but many of my hottest female friends told me they straight up rejected any guy that had photos of other females on okcupid. They don't want players, nor people who are emotionally tied up in someone else.
For Tinder you should use this formula for your pictures:
-Main picture with you lookin good -Picture of you doing some activity or a funny picture -Group picture to show you have friends -Picture with a hot girl so they know at least someone can tolerate you
Mine is, "tell me you'll love me more than JD loves Turk so I know its real".
"If you took a selfie, it better be a fucking good selfie."
I wrote a post about Tinder a while ago. Here are some tips :)
How to Optimize Tinder to Find Your True Love
Tinder allows you to add up to six photos, use all of them. I couldn’t add the last photo because of a bug. If Tinder gives you real estate for your photos, use it. I would put the best photos in front of the album, because lazy people won’t check all of them. Having your best photos in front will increase your chances of being matched.
Take good photos. They say image is everything—this is so true! Tinder is all about first impressions. If you want more matches, take good photos. Your smartphone camera is probably good enough. Ask a friend to take a few photos of you, or buy a mobile tripod and use a camera timer app.
Avoid group photos at all costs. If I can’t tell who you are, I won’t swipe right. Plus, you don’t want to be the person with the cute friend. I have to admit, I swiped right once because I liked a guy’s friend. I thought maybe I could find out who the friend is when I talked to him.
Please stop posting all the Machu Pichu, cuddling with Tiger, snowboarding, Halloween costume, partying with friends, and other photos like them. Be different. Try to stand out with your photos. You want a good first impression.
Have a hook. On Twitter I have “Will work for shoes.” On Tinder, people loved “Searching for my Tinderfella.” Have a tag line to help people remember you.
Don’t be shy, include a link to your website or social media profiles. The best conversations I had were with people who checked out my blog. We had a lot more topics to talk about. Believe me, just because one of my profile photos focused on my shoes, I didn’t want to chat about my shoe collection with every guy on Tinder.
Send the first message From my and Blake’s experiments, we know only 8% women and 25% men will send the first message. Almost 70% of matches won’t go anywhere because nobody wants to send the first message. What a shame! Don’t be shy, just send a message.
Pick your first 3-5 words of your message carefully Dating is just like public relations and marketing. You need to optimize everything for a higher conversion rate. I didn’t realize how important the first few words of a message are until I had over 500 message in my inbox. The first few words are the first impression—choose wisely. You want them to be different and give a good impression. From my experience, most messages I received were either “Hi,” “How are you,” a cheesy pickup line, or about the weather. To be honest, when I have 500+ messages, I ignored those. I only responded to the messages into which I can tell people invested time and effort. Spend time, read their bio, and write a personal message to all your matches. It can make a big difference. A tailored message will increase your response rate.
Be active and patient Every day, I lose around 2% of all matches. Maybe people swiped right by accident and blocked me. I know some people blocked me because I didn’t respond to their messages. I had a lot of messages—it takes time for me to go through them. Most people don’t know and don’t care about that. Just like any social network, to increase your popularity, you should be active. If you want to find the love of your life on Tinder, make sure you reply messages in less than 12 hours.
If someone doesn’t reply to your message right away, don’t block them. Maybe they’re busy, sick, out of the country, or inundated with messages. Just like in real life, if you stick around long enough, most likely you will get the reward, because everyone else is gone. Dating is a marathon, not a sprint.
Use lists One of my matches was an attractive young gentleman with a black and white photo with an adorable baby. I told myself I would message him the next day. The next morning, I woke up and found an additional 700 matches. I never found him again. I am always so good at losing attractive men. Don’t repeat my mistake. If you find an interesting person, add them to a list. It is the best way to organize all your matches, especially if you are popular on Tinder.
Don’t right swipe everyone When I woke up the next day my Tinder account was almost useless. It tooks forever to load. It was very difficult to search for people. I don’t blame the Tinder guys. This was a social experiment not a search for true love. It is one of the rare cases. It sounds like a lot of fun but it is not the right strategy to find true love. QUALITY OVER QUANTITY. Be picky. It is better to have 1-2 matches that you are attracted to than thousands of matches that you don’t even care about. Time is your most valuable asset, don’t waste it.
If you want to read the full post, search "cammi pham tinder hack." I am a newbie and cannot post link. If you want to chat more about dating feel free to message me :) I am always more than happy to help people.
Hey there, thanks for stopping by. Sounds like you should talk to this guy that lurks around here, his username is GoldenCinderblock. You can compare notes. He spends all day on Tinder and even made some youtube videos about it. He will probably offer to buy you a taco.
terrible advice cut your wrists vetically
I lol'd. Its a numbers game. Anything that looks like a 5 or greater = swipe right. There's an upside of maybe 1 point and the downside doesn't matter because you can block afterwards.
First of all, we need more details. Second you need to define your end target.
If you want to be her BF or her gay friend who she cries with, then FB is probably ok. If you want to be a real life 007, minus the day job, don't get into the touchy feely stuff. Create uncertainty as to:
Also, Don't be needy! Create the perception that you have lots of other exciting things that you can do without saying it explicitly.
What works is not being a beta. - Be confident. - Make her chase you, not the other way around. People in general like what they can't have. - Don't come across as boring and give, likewise, boring answers when she asks you about yourself. Always be interesting. - Always take advantage of opportunities to tease or poke fun at the girl in a playful way. - Have the mindset that she's very lucky to be going on a date with you and should literally be thanking you. - Don't be indecisive when it comes to where you're going on the date. Take charge and tell her where it'll be and when you're going; never say anything like, "It's up to you, really." - As much as some people like to vehemently deny it, being an ahole gets you laid.
In my opinion, being confident, interesting, and decisive is always good, but the rest could easily backfire. Not every girl will be thrilled to hang around a guy that seems arrogant, aloof, and self-absorbed...
some of yall are making this too complicated.
Let's keep it funky.
Girlie wants you to add her so she can get more likes on her pictures. Don't bit.
Girlie wants to look into your life. Don't bite. Chicks love mystery.
Why are you stunting over what a chick you met on Tinder.. TINDER... wants you to do? I mean.. seriously.
Delete pictures of your ex. If you truly want to get over her, stop acting like a simp, delete the pictures, and go get bishes.
What also works is writing a letter to her... Get all into your feelings. Make it like 8 pages.
Then reread it and see how lame you sound.
Then burn it and flush the ashes.
Simp Mode deactivated.
Hi all,
thanks for all the replies.. sorry i havent gotten back to you all sooner. Here is where I am currently going with everything:
Girlfriend: - still difficult to get over her,.. but getting back into the gym/ networking/ playing fifa/ tinder to waste time and hopefully get over her soon.. - have a dilemma. next week is her bday. still havent got her anything. i know i need to out of respect, she did drop a lot of coin (over 5 grand) on me for mine.. so might have to get her something nice to keep up appearances. I will spend a couple of hundred dollars..
Tinder - profile going okay but want more matches - girl number 1: that date went good.. took the girl home - thanks for the tip on vodka raspberry drinks... it worked for me! anyway... haven't seen her since, shes just not interested - cant complain with a one night stand - girl number 2: had a date the night after - absolute disaster.. looked nothing like her photo and was boring. - girl number 3: loves me... took her home and gave her what she deserves all night.. didn't even take her on a date - she came around mine for a glass of wine. however.. now this girl is very slow to respond to messages which is annoying since I'm demanding and want more.. particularly since I need to fill the gap from my ex... seeing her tomorrow again (well meant to be anyway as of yesterday.. she hasnt replied back to my message i sent today)... will give her what she deserves again.. in this case, who am I to complain with her lack of messages.. - girl number 4: was going to see this girl this week, turns out she had to go to the country to get away from the city cause shes paying 'too much attention on boys and isnt focusing enough on herself'. apparently has severe depression.. will message her next week whens shes back, nearly got her over the line - seems like the perfect girl to get me through this period.. we can fix eachother haha - girl number 5 - dutch girl.. seeing her tomorrow.. shes just gagging for it already. wants to spend a weekend with me giving me massages and watching games of thrones
Need more girls as a distraction from the ex... the only think this relationship has done to me is made me even more less tolerant of girls..
Tinder profile pics - need to get a ripped gym photo by summer and then will restart app.. flipping right every single time, im running out of options.. - my theory is to swipe right.. and then when she approves.. if shes hot, i'll speak to her.. if shes not, i'll block her.. - finding out that chicks read the profile message.. get onto it and make a joke.. nothing cliche.
Cheers all again.
number 4 sounds like an easy target
//www.youtube.com/embed/X1kqvahX6LU
ps. and I'm going to delete all my photos on facebook with my ex and crap ones before it and start all over.. need to remodel myself and restart my life from scratch... no excuses
Girl number 3 - serial flaker. Fuckin 'got called into work this morning' and couldn't see me... Tinder is a numbers game... My profile has been down on matchess lately - no idea why... I'm not even a bad looking guY.... Need to try something new hmmm - anyone use shirtless pics successfully? Or a picture with a hot girl successfully? As a profile
Did the attempted 5some kill Goldie? I'm worried about him.
delete
if you are in NYC, the walk in central park is da killa
Share your first date/dating advice in this thread. (Originally Posted: 03/28/2014)
Here are some things I do that I find to be useful...
1.) Try to avoid sitting at a table where you're on one side and she's on the other. This does not encourage contact and feels like a formal job interview. Instead, opt for a booth or a seat at the bar so you're closer to each other and its less informal, and it encourages a more comfortable interaction where you're able to playfully touch, engage her.
2.) Arrive early/arrive a little late. Either has its own benefit:
Arrive early: You can scan the venue and mark your territory (see above). You can order a drink before she gets there so you can loosen up. It also essentially accelerates the day because you started before she did.
Arrive late: Girl gets there and orders a drink (starts her own tab - a plus if you dont want to pay for a girls drinks and end up not getting laid at the end of the night). It will make her think about you more - could be a good or bad thing depending on how late you are lol.
3.) Ask your date how her drink is. If the date is going well, she will offer you a sip. This is pretty important and not many people realize it, because this means she's willingly open to the activity of exchanging body fluids.
4.) Set the plan for transition BEFORE you get to the bar. Example:
"Lets get a drink at X, then we can go to Y close by."
And what do you think the next natural transition is? Z... and whats Z? Your/her apartment.
Plan ahead.
What do you guys do? Lets add to this
Jesus Christ
the aspergers is strong with this one.
Best dating advice: fuck bitches, get money
Pop at least 4 Viagras so she know's you're hot on her. Make sure to talk about your 3 cats for at least 20 mins/hour.
Yah, girls love to talk about their cats.
Good one. I never thought of bars as a place to take girls.
My dating advice is to not listen to that.
deleted
Why do people make this stuff so difficult? Dating is easy, stop over thinking it.
I've honestly never been on a formal date. I think the kids these days are just calling it 'hanging out.' And that sometimes leads to this 'hooking up' business. And I guess they send letters with their thumbs or something. God damn googles
"This is pretty important and not many people realize it, because this means she's willingly open to the activity of exchanging body fluids."
I just fucking lost it at my desk. Thanks
I lol'd, too. Awesome.
Would give back 1/2 my bonus to watch this happen in real life.
so half a chipotle burrito?
lol ok, maybe that sip suggestion was a bit over the top, but I think the other tips are solid, esp. the pre-planned transition to different bars.
Really? just THAT suggestion?
So, do you have like a lot of girls lined up for dates and you're trying to get your strategy down pat or what's up?
Yup, what do you do? Take a girl to an expensive lounge or restaurant and hope that will do the job?
Not that either. but just to point out different things I do/would do....
1.) You know what's worse and even more awkward than eating dinner side by side in booth or at a table with my fiance... is doing that with someone that I don't even know. If you want to promote conversation, you want to be face to face with them. No having to turn to the side to make sure they hear you. No bumping elbows when eating. etc. Talking side by side is done while walking down the street.
One thing I will agree on is a booth. Then it's more personal as there is less noise and distraction around you. But then again, I'd rather have a booth whenever I go out to eat anywhere. It's just more comfortable.
2.) How about pick her up? Chivalry isn't dead. I don't care if you live in NYC and take the subway everywhere. Show up at her place and grab a cab together... then you can get your side by side conversation/touching that you want...
3.) I really don't even know what to say about this other than just.... no. no no no. no.
4.) Yes. Let's make this a guided tour. Having a date set up like, we could grab dinner and then maybe go to a movie is one thing, but... We'll have dinner at 7, then afterwards we'll catch the 8:30 showing of HER, which can then be followed up by going back to my apartment for expected coitus just makes you sound like you don't even know how to be fun/spontaneous/live life.
Instead, start off with, Let's grab a drink at X, I'll pick you up at 8. Then, depending on the date, you do other things. I know if I'm going on a first date, I'd have no idea if I'll like the person enough to even talk to them for more than 20 minutes. I don't want to plan to go grab a drink, then grab dinner, then do something else to just have to cancel the rest of the plans because I'm sure as hell not paying for this girls dinner when I can't even spend another minute talking to her over drinks.
This is all hypothetical. My dates are all with my fiance now so it's a bit easier for me.
No I feel pretty comfortable.. I dont do these every single date, but I was just curious what others do.
OP, #3 makes me wonder how many people you've killed and eaten before. Is sharing bodily fluids really the first thing you consciously think of when trying someone's drink? Can't imagine what your internet search history looks like, Jesus
I hope by mark your territory you're not peeing in a circle around a table...although that could dovetail nicely with the point on comfort with bodily fluids.
I find peeing on my date is the best, most efficient way to achieve said goals.
Haha, +1. This brought me from a smirk to a full blown laugh.
Most chicks I take out on a "first" date I met only briefly at a bar where I was able to score their number. Typically hand the girl my phone with an open blank new contact and say, "Can you fix this?". ANYWAYS back on track, the OP list has some strong points, changing locations being the strongest, and some overthought ones, seating.
Show up together whenever possible avoiding the awkward look around for your date or making her do the same looking for you. Especially important if your not exactly sure what she looks like haha. The ole "I remember she was hot" dilemma.
Go places you know. Nothing better than getting dapps from the hostess/bartenders at a nice restaurant on a first date. If she asks about them knowing you be modest. Modesty in most every venue of conversation is key, leaves some mystery, you can and should elude to things though. Prime example is the first date in Goodfellas, "I'm a Union Delegate".
Building on the OP strong point. Dual reservations are key, but I typically don't let the date know about the second until the middle of dinner. If speakeasy venues are available in your town, they make an ideal "y", chill atmosphere, dimly lit, strong but delicious drink to confirm intentions of sharing bodily fluids.
Pay for everything. It sucks but that's just the way it is, when chicks try and split a check I just laugh and wonder what would happen if I called their bluff.
At the very least you need to close a kiss. I honestly think its more awkward not to. Chicks will try and put up blockers to this, "I don't kiss on the first date" but that is pretty easily defused. Chances are she is down but is just trying to keep it classy so you need to create a situation that gets around that. I'll bet a girl and wager a first date kiss, pretty asymmetric return situation.
That's all for now.
Have you and OP been reading Wall Street Playboys? If so, stop.
Just how much does this "planning ahead" get you laid? (we already know the answer to this)
Not often because if I sense she's truly up for it we make the great escape after one bar, no second one needed. Some girls are more willing to head back to your/her apartment after a longer night out with each other because its just more natural to them.
My primary dating advice is to leave the largest tip that you can afford.
I hope you're saying what I think you're saying
play "Whoever swallows the most tylenol PM pills wins"
deliria and liver failure, yum
Sitting on the same side of a booth with a girl, especially if you haven't been dating for awhile, is the height of awkward.
I forgot to add that all you people who can't find women who are smart, young, attractive, consider taking a couple of college courses. That's what college is for!
I wouldn't be surprised if OP gets more ass than most of the people posting on this. He actually has a few strong points: Position yourself so you can get physical and planning the date. If you sit across from the girl and have an hour and a half dinner with no physical contact, then try to get physical i.e. try to kiss her at the end of the date, it's gonna be super awkward. As well, if you don't have the date planned, you're just setting yourself up for failure. It doesn't have to be extensive. But at least have a couple other venues in mind in case things are going really well and you want to keep hanging out, but just not at the same restaurant/ bar, for like 2 more hours. Best date I've been on I met the girl at her place, went to a late-night cafe, then went and got some street food, then went to a latino bar where they had free dance lessons on Thursday nights. We hung out for about 3 hours total (it flew by really fast though) then went back to her place. The first time I didn't plan all of that out. But after that, anytime I went on a date in that area/locale, I would run those same venues. Works like a charm every time since then. Having a plan definitely helps.
"Smilin' Mona Lisa, loaded up your Visa Took the bartender home."
"Thought I was a hero, she rated me a zero." [from Stand up by The Band]
Don't just kiss the girl out of the blue. It's not as appropriate as films make it seem.
Don't talk too much, just keep nodding your head and saying yeah, absolutely.
Do bust out the hair gel and everything else that makes you look good.
Look like you're trying to seem like you're giving full attention but can't manage it. Then every few minutes look into her eyes and smile.
Henry Hill from Goodfellas was a great example BTW. +1
Good advice, @"user401". It's sad that some guys don't know this.
...
Weather getting nicer in NYC. Some dates I'd suggest are.. maybe after getting a drink at Brass Monkey (I know, I know...) and then taking a walk on the High Line..
Or, if you wanna show off, take her to Le Bain and ask if she likes the view. But what girl hasnt been to Le Bain these days
He destroyed you. Thats your reply?
Show up on time and bring something to read--she WILL be late.
When walking on the sidewalk, keep to the side that is closest to the street/traffic (i.e, on the "outside").
If in doubt, always go for the kiss.
Nothing else matters.
Oh, and you have to actually ASK her out so you don't all bent out of shape because she can't read your intentions.
bump. Summer is dating season in NYC. Lets be ready.
take that bitch to an air show. bitches love jets
Or the racetrack.
Best advice: don't follow any of the advice in this thread.
Great questions to ask on a first date... (Originally Posted: 04/21/2013)
So I was reading through this piece somewhere about how online dating is amazing and how effective its been. With it, a piece accompanied it talking about great questions to ask on a first date. And it was the biggest pile of crap I've ever read. They were as generic as they come and will no way lead to getting laid if thats the end goal.
As we're a pretty young group on here, I was wondering what questions you guys usually like to ask on a first date? Hopefully it'll make for an interesting discussion.
I usually go for three:
1 ) An embarrassing story - helps me connect with someone and if its humorous, all the better.
2) Whether she likes to read - simply for compatibility purposes. I'm a big reader so enjoy discussing it
3) Travel - again compatibility. I often find myself dreaming about travelling the world so someone show shares or understands that dream is important to me.
What do you monkeys ask or like to know? What works?
If she can't handle your love hangover, she can't handle the relationship man.
Just go with it. It's not impossible that she just want to find a fling to spend her lonely nights. Mutually beneficial.
Spit or Swallow?
Beat me to it, fuarrrkkk...
By far the biggest dealmaker/breaker.
Are those real?
Can you walk me through a DCF?
What's the latest deal you've been following?
What are the 4 major methods of valuing a company?
What effect does a $10 depreciation expense have on the 3 statements?
Haven't I seen you on brazzers?
Since the OP is serious and young, I will give some real advice, but not necessarily for the first date: ask probing questions about her family to get a sense of what her parents' relationship is like, since that largely sets the tone of what her expectations are for one.
I'm serious but not really young anymore! I'm a married man but I was just wondering what works for you out there. Call it curiosity
Are you an archaeologist?
Because I have a bone that needs examining ;)
^ Crucial knowledge...
I usually try to find out about her moral values, whether she comes from a good family and what her social class is.
questions like..
some of the questions you ask during first dates are a lot like interview questions.
On terrible dates, sure.
Serious comments guys, this could help someone down the line!
It is best if you think of women like any other investment.
What do you think the current delta is on the call option to your pussy tonight?
Do you prefer value or high growth dick?
How would you categorize your love making? Aggressive or Steady Long Term Investment?
What do you think is an appropriate depreciation rate on your assets?
What kind of yields do you think your uterus is capable of producing? (See Bid/Offer chart of children by race and country)
How long has your vagina been in business? Is there decent liquidity?
What is your annual cost of carry?
Can you tell me about any specific risks you might have? Do I need to buy protection?
Do you think it would be alright if I bought options on other women while still investing in you?
How wide do you think your spread can go?
Would you say you have multiple exit and entry points?
Would you be up for M&A transactions with multiple "firms"?
(questions you should ask yourself before investing) 13. What is this chicks credit rating? AAA, Mezz, or B-piece?
What do you think is the theta on her tits, ass, and face?
How high do you think the vol is on this bitch's crazy?
This is GOLD
Bump! Anyone else??
I'd add asking about a biggest regret.
Kiss on first date? (Originally Posted: 07/17/2008)
So me and my friends have somewhat of an ongoing debate; one side argues kiss no matter what on a first date, even if its uncomfortable or whatever you just have to do it. The other side says kissing within 3 dates is fine, if you dont kiss within around 3 dates your stuck in friend zone.
Any girls with opinions? Anyone who thinks the 3 date rule is bogus?
now im not a "PUA master" liek some people on this forum, but if u dont kiss within 2-3 dates thats a bad sign.
i would definitely try to get a kiss on the first date.. if u have a good time and got her attracted to you and played everything really well, theres no reason she wouldnt allow a harmless kiss.
if youre not kissing by the end of the first date you probably played it wrong and were too nervous to make a move. ive been there before, and hestitation like that usually does indeed lead to the dreaded friend zone
I would argue that you should kiss before the first date. Why go out with a girl if you know that she's a bad kisser? This goes both ways. Once she knows that you're capable, she'll be more inclined to say "yes" to a night out. The correct order is to approach, kiss, exchange names, and then ask for a date.
Also, the "three-date rule" is for teh sex, not kissing. If you get even to the second date without having kissed, she's going to be asking you what kind of books you read and whether you believe in God. Should this happen, the books question you should try to cover in a coffeehouse. When she asks it, make a long, roundabout journey to the bathroom and find out what other women in the shop are reading. The answer to the existence-of-God question is, "You're in front of him, baby". This works on all but the religious girls, who take a long time to put out anyway.
lol nice to see a fellow WSO member who've studied the arts of pick up.
If sex is your ultimate goal, it's not ideal to even do dates. Actually, dates are a "bonus" to a true PUA. Approach, kino, kissing then one night stand is probably the best scenario. But then again there can be so many obstacles during a night out (e.g. friends getting piss drunk and get into fights, being cock blocked by desperados and ugly friends etc.) that prevents the night from going just the way you want it. 2nd best option would be to number-close and then not even have a formal "date" but just invite her to hang out or get some coffee. Bring your A-game and seduce her...short the time, the better.
If you are looking to really get to know someone, I'd say that if you don't AT LEAST kiss or have sex after the first date, you might as well just move on because it indicates that either: 1) your game sucks, or 2) not enough sexual attraction between the two which is very important down the road, or 3) it's just a clash between personalities. Like Alec Baldwin said in GGGR, "it's either fuck or walk. You close or you hit the breaks". Don't drag yourself into misery, especially for the long term.
SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING VIRGINS.
http://www.drmarkklein.blogspot.com/
lmao... depends on the girl/how well you guys have bonded during the evening... isn't that common sense?
And what about judgment and free will? Should these sorts of things be circumstantial rather that absolute? It's silly to think that you MUST do particular things like kiss or have sex simply because it's a certain date...
If you did not kiss on the first "date" there probably will not be a second.
this might just be me, but I usually kiss a girl if I want and dont if I dont want to. If you think she did ok on the date/you had fun why not be nice and kiss her. if she sucked, kick her to the curb
also is the rule of thumb, pay for everything first 6 dates; split 50/50?
To the above post, it is 'then' not 'than'. How PiperJafferish of you.
I wouldn't say you HAVE to kiss on a first date. However, if there is strong mutual dislike of one another, a friendly handshake and "See you around" should suffice.
If I have to observed anything in my short and insignificant life it is that those who are risk averse always fail in the long run. Getting girls is no different than succeeding in business. Therefore, there are no rules when pursing this goal (other then, of course, the institutional rules like insider trading or date rape). With that said, you shouldn't let some prevailing wisdom like don't kiss after the first date get in the way of you making an instinctual decision. If you think she's into you after the first 20 minutes and you see an opportunity then you should capitalize. Basic dating or business principals are not meant to be strictly followed, they are only tools to help shape your frame of reference. Look at junk bonds in the 1980s. Nobody wanted to touch them because the prevailing wisdom was that they were too risky for established banks. Along comes Michael Milken (for arguments sake, we'll forget about the insider trading), who says fuck the prevailing wisdom, and limits the risk by packaging the bonds together so that the few that fail are offset by the many that succeed. Its the same thing with woman. Don't me timid, take risks and be prepared to fail. Sure, some girls might think your too aggressive and end it right there. But some might like it and these successes will surely offset whatever failures you might have. But most importantly, by taking risk your getting more experience, allowing you to hone your instincts and making you that much better in the long run.
Yeah, that worked out REALLY fucking well.
Are you people serious?
http://www.leveragedsellout.com/2007/09/the-banker-method/
Who goes on dates?
One night stands are the way to go.
kiss?
you mean fuck right? you know you typed kiss, right?
Haha wutup fellow pick up artists?
Definitely kiss on first date - just don't wait until the end of the date where you're about to say goodnight and then you go for the kiss - that builds too much tension and makes it awkward. Go for the kiss whenever there's an emotional high and you're getting along well. Much better to be spontaneous.
Also don't take a girl to dinner for a first date- it becomes more like an interview and is really lame. Do something more original, and preferably a physical activity so the focus of the date isn't the conversation and so you have an excuse to playfully touch the girl before going for the kiss.
+1
Agreed... best date activity is playing Lion... you lie down and Ill throw you my meat.
You should never take a girl on a date. The only thing worse than the friend zone is the GIRLfriend zone and dates are your one-way, nonstop ticket into it.
Kissing is for I-ties and guidos. I'm a dickslinger motherfucker
Also, dates tend to set precedence. Its not your going to take a girl out and spend $75 on dinner. In NYC you are going to EASILY drop $150. After that she will ALWAYS expect it..
If you want to go on a "date" take her for drinks. Put $75 worth of vodka in her and see what happens....I think you will find the results much more "satisfactory."
Is this a question? Of course you kiss on the first date. I generally fool around on the first date and go in for the kill on the second.
Drinks on the first date (Originally Posted: 10/04/2014)
If you agree to drinks, but the girl wants appetizers or dinner after you get there, what would you guys do?
If you like her, go get some dinner....
Just go to a sushi bar - sushi, drinks, rip her pie... or at the very least get that much closer.
I'm guessing you don't want to shell out for drinks + appetizers + dinner + dessert for you so she can eat a few bites of it (unless it's lemon meringue, then it's off limits) and were trying to cut a corner by suggesting "drinks", am I right? No problem, I gotchu.
There are certain things you can say "no" to, going out somewhere (that you chose) that serves food and her suggesting food... isn't one of those times. If you are looking to limit that, you have to control the tempo, best way, as soon as you get there and are waiting for your first round, come out with: "Should we get an appetizer? I'm not very hungry but I could definitely go for... X..." If you aren't hungry, no girl is going to ask for dinner. If for no other reason than to not look fat or to come off as using you. It helps if you specifically choose a place with either a great happy hour or awesome appetizers.
Lol.. This is exactly right
I guess I never really think about this, I rarely have "just drinks" unless it's late and we're both already drinking or at a bar. If I specifically ask someone to meet at a bar/restaurant, food is likely being consumed. I just love to eat, and most women I'm attracted to do too...so it's never really a problem. It's so much easier to have a conversation while eating, I feel. Having just drinks seems...awkward to me. Maybe because I can't drink without eating at least something, what does that say about me....
Sometimes you can't avoid it, I don't think it's the end of the world. Unless you're seriously on your last $20, then really maybe you shouldn't be setting up dates until you rectify that situation....
when I was single, I always did wine bar on the first date, worked well.
sushi or wine bar works well. Im not a big fan of suggesting a full "legit" dinner for one of the first times I got out with a girl for a number of reasons. The biggest being the amount of time it takes and the fact that 2 drinks each + appetizer + entree + maybe dessert gets pretty pricey. Not that its a ton of money, but if things dont go well, its a pretty big waste.
She's already locking you in to be the provider.
Stay firm on drinks. She'll expect you to be paying for everything (red flag) if you take her for dinner + drinks.
The food will just keep her from getting drunk and make your life more difficult. Don't even let her try the bar nuts and just pour martinis down her throat until she's grabbing your crotch in the middle of the bar.
Like @"notthehospitalER" said, if you like her get some dinner. Pretty simple in my opinion. I haven't been single since well before online dating existed but I've heard some of the younger woman in my office say that they only schedule drinks when doing online dating because it's an easy out if they don't like him and if they like the guy they'll see if they want dinner. I'd say if she ask you for dinner, you passed the first test.
This
agreed. but you don't have to get dinner if you dont want to ... even if you like her... maybe you have an early morning, ate before the date, or something.. just explain yourself and make it clear that you would like to get together sometime later/soon.
'don't think there is anything wrong with that.
That said, a bar is the best place to meet someone for the first time coz leaving early is less awkward in case it is not working out.
Do appetizers or a wine bar. Just make sure the wine bar serves liquor at least for your sake. Wine gets boring. Also lite bite tapas may work, BC if she drinks as well as you, the drinks can add up quick. I mean what's you're goal here?
Oh and if you do choose a wine bar, get a bottle. More economical
What about small plates? You guys can share a few and it'll give you something to talk about since you are eating the same foods -- win win.
You have to set the tempo for the night, chose a place that is more of a social bar than sitting down and having 3 course meals. Sit at the bar instead of asking for a table, and make suggestions on what you think the two of you should get "let's get a few apps as I am not really that hungry right now". Women will follow your lead and go as far as you let them.
Don't do dinner on a first date, waste of time and you're setting the bar too high. Plus if you don't like the girl you're shelling out too much dough for nothing at all. Choose a place that's more of a lounge/chill bar than a dinner spot so she knows what to expect. Bottom line is you're in charge
Repellendus corrupti laborum quos quidem dignissimos. Aut minus ut enim id nulla. Provident non quidem ipsam molestias neque. Dignissimos cupiditate aliquid quaerat quo. Eveniet quia molestias tenetur modi et. Non voluptas dolor cumque odio.
Quisquam ut voluptatem vel explicabo mollitia. Corporis reiciendis est et occaecati nihil laudantium ad. Sapiente ea eum culpa. Consequuntur ab dignissimos ullam est est ad et eligendi.
Illo omnis libero qui enim. Rerum rerum labore et libero sunt et ut. Minus eum laboriosam quo sequi velit.
Vel libero voluptas labore odit. In nam et odio quia est. Aut aut facere ab praesentium quia expedita eum. Eum eum ut omnis qui dolore. Provident architecto voluptatibus laboriosam sunt.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Cum aut enim ut possimus. Consequuntur qui consequatur explicabo amet perspiciatis. Repellendus suscipit veniam aut reiciendis ducimus autem dolores. Velit et nemo ad sed aut. Ut ut et dolorum temporibus accusantium ipsa rem. Sed veritatis saepe eum libero error.
Non quasi quia aut est. Iusto dolorem voluptatem voluptas ducimus. Aspernatur voluptatem voluptas exercitationem. Laudantium est qui laudantium soluta. Consequatur quia at dolores veniam alias.
Adipisci error aut occaecati facilis et non possimus molestiae. Quae error iure non aliquam. Unde est temporibus tempore quod qui quaerat. Quam ducimus saepe reprehenderit esse error. Distinctio laboriosam tempore enim.
Voluptas natus non ut dicta sit quisquam nisi. Optio aut voluptatem nemo non totam minus in. Nam aperiam ut ratione mollitia. Aliquid sit consequatur quod rem enim et. Quia neque corporis non in et vitae repellat. Voluptates aperiam tempore eos et.
Assumenda rem eaque eius perferendis voluptas non. Fugiat velit recusandae iusto et. Voluptatem rerum et voluptatum illo fuga. Quos ea autem vel soluta dolor. Itaque perspiciatis et unde quia.
Est nam doloremque aliquam sed voluptate harum molestias sed. Consectetur maxime voluptatem eum unde alias alias ea. Aut corrupti qui accusantium accusamus incidunt quos accusamus.
Error alias ut blanditiis praesentium nostrum aut nulla atque. Est eaque repellendus quibusdam aspernatur aut nisi dolorum maxime. Numquam rerum animi modi ut corporis consequuntur deserunt totam. Doloribus sed iste veritatis eveniet. Corrupti ut quia sit esse.
Quidem dolorem qui quia laudantium unde sint minus maxime. Quam quia nihil quasi delectus architecto. Exercitationem hic provident ipsa ipsa voluptas vitae commodi. Nobis dignissimos quia ducimus facere necessitatibus odit omnis. Minus et voluptas neque corrupti voluptas.
Dignissimos nisi voluptas dolor animi. Quia consequatur laudantium expedita quo omnis voluptas. Qui reiciendis dolores aspernatur natus. Amet voluptatem laborum distinctio delectus cumque quia. Commodi sunt modi vel fugit non eos.
Corrupti dolorem sunt velit ut consequatur consequatur temporibus. Et dolorum placeat dolorem et. Architecto fugit dolorem mollitia dicta. Sit eos voluptatem magnam amet fuga. Qui illo et illo praesentium repellat mollitia. Illum inventore iusto omnis.
Omnis quis sint rerum est optio assumenda. Consectetur rerum repellendus itaque autem quidem. Impedit ipsum aut ullam culpa pariatur eos dolores. Reprehenderit recusandae cumque qui quia.
Est qui est illum quibusdam officia. Facilis dicta commodi voluptatibus voluptas non aut hic temporibus. Quo sint temporibus quidem ea recusandae velit quia voluptatibus.
Error voluptatem et ab fugit qui. Et est cum voluptas repellendus minus voluptatem quasi. Corporis doloremque nesciunt tempore et. Omnis qui consequatur non et et aperiam dolores. Esse molestiae amet explicabo omnis nam.
Eum voluptas sint dicta recusandae. Libero consequatur ratione corporis ab enim nihil aut. Fugiat dolore rem vero hic similique aut. Ut quas quas ab non dicta molestiae. Laboriosam pariatur modi id qui similique dolorem delectus.
Autem qui impedit et distinctio cupiditate expedita aut. Vero enim distinctio dolorem nisi quia inventore ut omnis. Corrupti corporis facilis molestiae et. Voluptatem ut earum ipsam reprehenderit ratione consequatur.
Sunt deserunt pariatur itaque. Natus et voluptas et quia rerum ea. Molestiae iure dolore qui quis consequuntur. Et consequatur in rerum velit dolor et et. Sequi sunt molestias quis laboriosam cumque repudiandae.
Voluptatem qui quia ipsa asperiores labore praesentium aut. Quia ut et quasi dolores recusandae laudantium. Minima ducimus eveniet esse ex. At doloremque sunt laudantium vel qui iure.