I am a 25yr old guy and have been 1 month into my role. 3 weeks ago, i saw a new female colleague which i was attracted to. From the very first day, i noticed that as i walked pass her desk, she would make deliberate eye contact with me. Since then, i'd say 7 times out of 10 when i walk pass, we would make eye contact to each other even though we dont know each other and everytime we do she would smile at me while i will smile back if she does. (Is she just being polite? or is she 'telling' me politely that she knows what im doing and wants me to stop? - i really dont know, i get quite sensitive on things like that). So that eye contact thing carried on for a whole week until i finally had the courage to make some excuse to speak to her - in front of her entire team, ie. complaining IT equipment inadequacy and asked if she had the same. I did subsequently had the opportunity to speak to her, as she was at the coffee machine alone but i was just too busy with work as im also new to the role. It felt a bit awkard as she initiated the conversation with me regarding the IT issue i was having but i quickly ended it in a polite way to get back to work. So last week, i made further move to speak to her and took advantage of the fact that her team wasn't at the office that day to invite her to lunch together with a large group of colleagues but she said she wasnt hungry yet so i said maybe tomorrow instead. HOWEVER, she turned up later unexpectedly and sat right opposite me. I introduced her to other collleagues and we had a really nice conversation. i noticed her eyes was always on me throughout (i say this because everytime i was talking i tried to make eye contact with everyone and everytime my eyes goes on to her, shes looking at me). Everyone left 1 by 1 eventually, it was just me and her. We had a good chat together. She even jokingly mentioned some of my small little habits and that she been discussing with her colleagues. Moving on from lunch, i picked up on things she said she liked so suggested she should goto an event taking place last weekend which turned out that she was going. We then started chatting via emails about it and kinda just left it that we might probably see each other at the event. Of course that didnt happen in such a large venue, but we did talk about the event afterward.
I felt we got along quite well together from the limited interaction we had. Now the problem is with her team now back in the office. I dont see any opportunity to have lunch with her. I tried inviting her to lunch next day but she said she had some work to do and later joined her team to lunch instead.
I was pretty sure she was interested in me earlier, but she seems to be less keen on me after i made my move? Like all the friendly eye contact was gone and no more greetings. I dont know her schedule so im not even sure if shes genuinely too busy or.. is she just losing interests in me? My past relationships have all been built on clear signals that the girl was interested in me so with this one, i have absolutely no idea how to proceed. A lot is on stake with office romance, so wouldnt want to make this too ugly even if we dont workout.
What do you guys think? Any ideas what i should do at this point?
Thanks in advance.
find her on tinder and right swipe
I quickly skimmed down the page and thought you said "finger her". You almost earned my banana...
You gotta be more careful with your words bro!
delete
.
Ask her out, man! Not sure how dating in the workplace works though--pretty inexperienced. If it's acceptable though, go for it
You have oversupplied your interest in a flat demand environment thereby lowering the value of your inventory, in this case the massive show you likely will not find her at. So step one is clear that inventory without supplying anymore interest. In other words do your own thing for a bit and limit your extra effort contact with her, no need to avoid her but don't go out of your way to communicate with her, whether in person or via email etc. (1.5 weeks). Then out of the blue ask her for a drink when you think you have cleared the im into you vibes out of the area.
Try talking to her more.. Maybe flirt a little bit to test the waters. If she is into you, she will reciprocate. If not, you save face. This is important of you will be seeing wach other every no matter what her response.
no offense, you shouldn't be consulting a message bored about whether or not you should ask a girl out. Just go up to her with confidence and ask her to go out for a drink after work. then two scenarios unfold:
1) she says no/avoids the question, then just change the subject and walk away. no love lost, its not the end of the world.
2) she agrees. you go out and get drinks, have a great time and then fuck the living shit out of her. all is right with the world and now the opportunity to fuck in a storage closet at work presents itself.
Just be confident. whats the worst that can happen?
OP:
I thought this was a troll post and then I realized OP has Aspergers.
Truth
a) Stop being a pussy. b) Think twice about dating someone at work not much good ever comes from it. Alot of other fish in the sea outside of the office to have your fun with.
Did you miss Social Education 101?
If you think she's interested, ask her out. If you don't think she is, don't ask her out. This really isn't that hard, and if you're correct about her liking you, it'll be breeze.
Maybe she just thought you were a nice guy not trying to sleep with her and once she realized that wasn't true she didn't want to lead you on. Oh and them talking about your 'habits' or whatever is probably a not great sign.
Throw a Reese's at her.
Like others have said it's usually not a good idea to date someone at work unless it's a huge company and you don't work close to each other (you work on the 10th floor and she's on 15 and you only bump into each other at the coffee cart) but if you want to ask her out then just do it. If she says no she says no. You gotta throw a lot of shit at the wall and some of them will stick. It's a numbers game and if you don't swing you'll never knock one out of the park. In trying to come up with more cliches...
I got lost in a wall of text. Honestly, don't shit where you eat and based on the bits and pieces I was able to decipher you should look elsewhere. You probably should've gotten her number or planned to meet up surrounding that big event you both went to. And for future reference, less texting + emailing and more face time. Maybe I'm old school but why waste conversation on an email rather than in-person?
Go for it. What is the worst that can happen? and now imagine what is the best that can happen. I would take many worsts for few bests ... haha .
Walk up and put your penis on her desk. It works every time sometimes
didn't read your post because it's irrelevant what the situation is. if you see this girl every day already, do not fucking date someone you work with. if either one of you changes jobs, ask her out, and do it however you want, but I'd say just text/call her and get her to come out for a drink (I wouldn't lead with dinner, too expensive and formal). until then, get on tin tin.
SociallyAwkwardOasis
Demonstrate value Engage physically Nurture dependence Neglect emotionally Inspire hope Separate entirely
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