Silly Shit Interns Do
This was a originally posted June 2012 but is a great refresher for the incoming intern class this summer
So the interns are out in full force. Hoards of them.
(Before I get into this-- I have no idea why they are called "SA's" these days- they will always be interns to me.)
I digress. I'm going to keep this brief and to the point, hopefully it's helpful to some young monkeys out there. But first, a joke:
What's the difference between a sperm and a lawyer?
The sperm has at least a 1/10,000 chance of becoming a human being.
I digress again. Here is the list:
Interns:
1) Stick out their hand for a shake EVERYWHERE, EVERY TIME they see you. It's getting to be comical, and I'm about to start leaving these f*ckers hanging. Rule of thumb: don't shake hands when you casually bump into colleagues- in the subway, in the elevator, especially in the restroom- thou shalt not shake hands UNLESS i) you are meeting a senior person for the first time OR ii) if a hand is shown, obviously you shake it.
2) seem not to realize that suit vents need to be clipped. I'm talking about those little flaps on your suitjacket that hang around your ass. They come sewn together - but you're supposed to clip that little string.
3) should watch what they say to one another on the subway. We're listening. Even if we have earphones in, we may have the sound on mute to see if you're shitting on your group. We are smarter than you. Never forget that.
4) should not be concerned about the brand that you're wearing. We don't expect you to come in wearing a hickey suit, Ferragamos and a Hermes tie. In fact, if you do dress as well as I do, I'll probably assume you're a spoiled little shit because I know for a FACT that you don't earn enough to drop $3,000 on one day's wardrobe.
5) should not wear watches that are better than your superior's watch. See #4 logic. Some fucking intern was flashing around the cafe in a patek the other day. Seriously? I assumed it was his fathers, I also assumed the kid has a self esteem issue. Why else would an intern be wearing a 30k watch? Is he trying to make a statement? Well the only statement he made was "im a douchewaffle." good intern watch: tissot.
6) should not leave the office before I do. Sit there and surf the internet or something- don't leave before your colleagues.
7) should only talk about their background when asked. I don't care what you did in high school. When you talk about that shit I feel old - you want me to feel good when I talk to you. Not old. (brotip: bankers like to talk about themselves - generally speaking, we are arrogant and love to gloat about the deals we've structured. Ask us about that - oe our families- and we'll talk your ears off)
8) wear big shirts. Maybe this is just me, but all the interns I see seem to swim in their dress shirts. Make sure your shit fits!
9) should be wary of the company they keep- you will be judged by it.
10) should NOT talk about fake IDs. I ask if you're 21- if you're not, say "no". Don't say "no, but I have a fake." This was actually said to me by my "mentee". Do you really think I'm going to hit the bar with you if you're not 21? Not a chance in hell.
Hopefully this means I will see fewer sewn suit vents, because that shit really gets under my skin.






lol this is absolute
lol this is absolute gold
have a silver on me
Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?
this is money hahah
this is money hahah
9.4/10 would read again
9.4/10 would read again
You seem to always get the
You seem to always get the dumb hoards .
11) fall asleep in a group
11) fall asleep in a group meeting
huethan: 11) fall asleep in a
11) fall asleep in a group meeting
One intern at the office I worked in last summer literally fell asleep while a consultant was training him. Needless to say, he had a horrible rest of the summer.
Nothing short of everything will really do.
15-Send naked pics of
15-Send naked pics of yourself to your boyfriend.
Absolutely hilarious. I'll
Absolutely hilarious. I'll keep this in mind.
My WSO Blog
Sewn suit vents, good one.
Sewn suit vents, good one.
12) talk about hitting golf
12) talk about hitting golf balls at Chelsea Piers when I was working all weekend.
13) Send out emails without
13) Send out emails without the attachments! (I am an intern and do this all the time, just to keep people on their toes of course)
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
why do we have to leave after
why do we have to leave after you?
Some of us our getting paid hourly and are only allowed to work 40 hours ....
blastoise: why do we have to
why do we have to leave after you?
Some of us our getting paid hourly and are only allowed to work 40 hours ....
Haha, I was thinking about this. Today I left at 5.15pm and a guy on the elevator said "What are we paying you for to leave when we do?"
[Reply] "Nothing"
"....Oh... really?"
But, fortunately I commute from Hartford CT to NYC every day (5 hr commute total) so my manager almost forces me to leave so I can get home before 8.30pm
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
im in at 7 am out around 3 pm
im in at 7 am out around 3 pm
blastoise: im in at 7 am out
im in at 7 am out around 3 pm
7.30-5.30/6
My bank is very weird though. Small debt cap markets shop that is primarily S&T. I think they only do best efforts
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
streetwannabe: blastoise: w
6) is hard My colleagues
marketbeater: 6) is hard My
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
jjcannon: streetwannabe:
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
Good stuff. Those silly
jjcannon: streetwannabe:
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
Connor: jjcannon: streetw
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
I'm usually in at 8 and out
Just a sophomore looking for an opportunity to start up this dream of mine.
streetwannabe: blastoise: w
blastoise: streetwannabe:
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
bonks: huethan: 11) fall
Power and Money do not change men; they only unmask them
i added more to my post above
I don't give a fuck when I
http://sportstanker.blogspot.com/
what's the rule for having a
blackjack21: I don't give a
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
gotta print this for the next
couldn't let go of my pair of aces...
JohnAnthony7: what's the rule
"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan
JohnAnthony7: what's the rule
Just a sophomore looking for an opportunity to start up this dream of mine.
I get to go on a booze cruise
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
Lotin: JohnAnthony7: what's
Oh please. OP, here's a list
Man made money, money never made the man
JohnAnthony7: Lotin: John
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
...I feel like this is mostly
This is the fucking weirdest
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
yep, that's positive
"Everything comes to those who hustle while they wait."
-Thomas Edison
WreckEmFinance: yep, that's
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
When I interned at a Boutique
RE Capital Markets: Oh
Power and Money do not change men; they only unmask them
FlakieBear: RE Capital
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
You seem like a fucking
SlikRick: When I interned at
kidflash: SlikRick: When I
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
streetwannabe: blastoise: w
The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee
WSO is not your personal search function.
bfin: streetwannabe: blas
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."
streetwannabe: WreckEmFinan
"Everything comes to those who hustle while they wait."
-Thomas Edison