Funny Tradingfloor Stories

I was just thinking back to the time one of my colleagues was in the middle of an extremely large trade for a client who babysits orders like nobody's business when he sharted, yet he couldn't leave his seat as he had to give updates every minute. We were all laughing so hard because he was anchored to his chair, with no hope of salvaging his pants.

Any other funny tradingfloor stories? Include pranks or just funny shit that's happened.

 

I worked in mortgage-backed securities, and had to go to the trading floor to get pricing. To get the trader's attention I threw 5lbs of butter cookies like a football to the head trader. I got a price quite quickly while other grunts weren't able to get attention.

Second story - we worked on accounts for the trading desk until 10:00 pm - our dinner came from Harry's Bar, complete with drinks in Manhattan glasses wrapped with Saran wrap.

 

It was 1984, girls were't allowed on the trading floor at Salomon Bros. - left that position for a VP at Bear Stearns position, parlayed that into a Managing Directorship at Merchant bankers group .... I guess that's not funny either. but the guys I worked with, they were funny. And then there was the day in mortgages when the MD lost a deal and forcefully threw the phone through the plate glass window.

 

Ive heard of someone eating box of oreos in under 7 min, no dunking in water. bet started off as eating 30 in under 5 min, then developed into full box, after 30 under 5 min was destroyed.....saw a pic of it (dude, eating, no shirt, large stack of oreros in front of him)...

 

makes sense to put this in ibanking forum and not the traders one

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.
 
Will Hunting:

makes sense to put this in ibanking forum and not the traders one

seems legit lol

"so i herd u liek mudkipz" - sum kid "I'd watergun the **** outta that." - Kassad
 

I just remembered something on one of my internships, my boss completely lost it at people on a regular basis. Would end up smashing his bag, files and keyboard on the desk/floor. I always find those situations sooo hard not to laugh.

 

saw a summer intern take down 8 big macs in under 5 min....first ate all the meat patties...then smashed the buns together into a single pancake with the help of a glass of water....a thing of beauty..

this was on the US Treasury desk for one of the primary dealers of course...

I am a proprietary Govt Bond Trader...i post my comments on the mkt intraday at twitter...and longer articles on my blog. I've accumulated a lot of educational info in these blogs..so i highly recommend checking them out http://govttrader.blogspot.com
 
govttrader:

saw a summer intern take down 8 big macs in under 5 min....first ate all the meat patties...then smashed the buns together into a single pancake with the help of a glass of water....a thing of beauty..

this was on the US Treasury desk for one of the primary dealers of course...

saw this too, thought it was a 1st year analyst but pretty sure we're talking about the same thing haha. was epic

 

While we're on the topic of crazy food bets on the trading floor, during my first year I made a $100 bet with one of the analysts that I could eat 3 chipotle burritos, EXTRA meat, in 15 minutes or under without puking. I did it in around 13 minutes, and that story became a mini-legend on the trading floor. Lol.

 

Another story. My former boss was a real casanova: tall, good looking, charismatic, rich. He would routinely date models and would sometimes bring them to the trading floor to give them a tour. Of course, the real objective was to just show off to the gawking male traders.

One insanely busy day at work, my boss strolls in with his latest arm candy: a stunning 6-feet tall scandinavian blonde model, who to this day is one of the 4 or 5 hottest women I have ever seen. He decides to "test" me by having her sit right next to me while I'm busily working. Imagine trying to make markets and hedge exotic rates derivatives with a raging boner. The result was not good.

 

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