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Thought I'd make a list of all the things that we should make fun of in finance, in no particular order they are:

Back Office
Middle Office
Sales
Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
Capital Markets
Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
PWM
Backwater offices in Asia

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Comments (71)

  • mr1234's picture

    dammit, i was about to say fordham

    ---
    man made the money, money never made the man

  • Password_Is_Taco's picture
  • dacasale's picture

    What's wrong with Capital Markets?

  • Edmundo Braverman's picture

    I love kids with no social worth who think they're better than everyone else because they managed to win the genetic lottery and be born into some old-money WASPy family that can't stand each other.

    You're the wad your mother should've swallowed, kid.

  • junkbondswap's picture

    Edmundo put it more elegantly than anyone else but i would add fordhammaster to his own list.

  • Banker88's picture

    +1 Edmundo.

    But also, people who wear square toed shoes.

  • Startop's picture

    if its all in jest, then what's the big deal?

    No way this guy is serious. Most of us have read the leveraged sellout and had a good laugh. The outlaying douchebags that take themselves so seriously that they actually take their banker prestige to heart and really think people in PWM are shitty, shouldnt be able to detract from the tongue-in-cheek humor of posts like this.

  • petergibbons's picture

    Consultants and liberal arts degrees.

    Life, liberty and the pursuit of Starwood Points

  • Banker88's picture

    People who believed in Obama for change.

  • Yacht_man's picture

    State school kids.....oh wait

  • nextbigthing's picture

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  • squawkbox's picture

    ....zhu zhu hamster toys

  • fordhammaster's picture

    don't take life so seriously i made this thread just for fun, though some of it is true since ppl on this board like to make fun of each other, but its all in good fun. I will add consultants to the list. also capital markets blows 'cause of 0 exit ops and lower pay and sometimes its middle office work that is recruited separate from IBD. I will also add state school only cuz there are some idiots (though many state school kids like me are quite smart and hardworking). i'll also add women for obvious reasons since they burn out and go into PWM.

    New List:

    Back Office
    Middle Office
    Sales
    Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
    Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
    Capital Markets
    Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
    PWM
    Backwater offices in Asia
    Consultants
    State school kids
    Women

  • PowerMonkey's picture

    NYU Stern

    --There are stupid questions, so think first.
    Financial Modeling Training
    Banking Resume

  • touchme's picture

    cross women off the list, fordham. this is exactly what amande96 wants to hear.
    and add lawyers instead.

  • Mzz's picture
  • DaCarez's picture

    Drop:
    Sales
    NYU Stern
    Women (credit to touchme)

    Add:
    Trolls
    Aldo shoes

    Edit: Add Equity Research as well...

  • Startop's picture
  • In reply to lindamas
    TheManWithThePlan's picture

    fembotma:
    add in fordham

    I think "fem"botma and fordhamassmaster ought to go bang themselves as both are a couple of douchebags

    #################################################
    I am the Man. I Have the Plan. Follow Me to the Promised Land.

  • In reply to TheManWithThePlan
    TheManWithThePlan's picture

    And FordhamASSmaster, you ought to go back to mommy and daddy and build some credibility before you start bashing other people's careers be it in back office or wherever;. loser.

    #################################################
    I am the Man. I Have the Plan. Follow Me to the Promised Land.

  • fordhammaster's picture

    Ty decarez. I will keep sales on, unfortunately its still for women n minorities and pushers who couldn't make it as traders. however i will remove women since its a bit sexist. howver i will add E.R., that is a good contribution i forgot about.

    Updated List:
    Back Office
    Middle Office
    Sales
    Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
    Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
    Capital Markets
    Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
    PWM
    Backwater offices in Asia
    Consultants
    State school kids
    Equity Research

  • h.e.pennypacker's picture

    Cool, man. A list. This is hilarious, dude. Are you gonna use it? Are you gonna use the list? Shit, I wish I had a list of topics enabling me to be humorous.

    Nah, really I'm just being a dick because I am a state-schooled equity research salesman at Jefferies' backwater Asian office, who does some side consulting.

  • FTPiper's picture

    Where's Stern on the list? David Stern needs to be on this list.

  • In reply to fordhammaster
    TheManWithThePlan's picture

    fordhammaster:
    Ty decarez. I will keep sales on, unfortunately its still for women n minorities and pushers who couldn't make it as traders. however i will remove women since its a bit sexist. howver i will add E.R., that is a good contribution i forgot about.

    Updated List:
    Back Office
    Middle Office
    Sales
    Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
    Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
    Capital Markets
    Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
    PWM
    Backwater offices in Asia
    Consultants
    State school kids
    Equity Research

    o my god this fordhamASSmaster (his new name on the board) is really the joker of all jokers someone please help me to get this complete loser off the boards as all he does is keep posting useless threads with zero credibility. i mean, of what use in the world could this or any such list provide not to mention half the stuff on the list is actually good stuff

    Jefferies, what's wrong with Jefferies they are kicking ass and of course backwater offices anywhere are not great so again may i ask you what kind of total loser are you my peon of a little buddy

    we all know how to hack hammermaster's account so let me at it and maybe we'll just all disable him

    his posts are the greatest thing sinced unsliced bread

    what a doucheturd

    and again, i realize my post is long and aimed at the ASSmaster himself, but i can't stand and cant understand how anyone on these boards can even acknowledge such totally useless and baseless posts that just take up whole threads for no purpose except to propogate rumors and lies or totally obvious stuff

    as for this poster, he is as good as his word - and his word is no good.

    he has a history of pathetic retorts, so just for humor let's see what he comes back with and maybe that will be that i'm an idiot or that his post actually had merit

    get a job you loser
    .

    #################################################
    I am the Man. I Have the Plan. Follow Me to the Promised Land.

  • In reply to FTPiper
    fordhammaster's picture

    PiperChiangAccent:
    Where's Stern on the list? David Stern needs to be on this list.

    To make this list legit, no names will be added unfortunately. However, all your recommendations will be carefully analyzed and examined by our team to see if it fits our list.

  • Yacht_man's picture

    LOL I don't know whether to take this thread seriously or not anymore.

    Don't forget to add Dallas, it seems to be a popular item in Liars Poker!

  • In reply to TheManWithThePlan
    ShreddiesBrah's picture

    BBMMBoutique:
    fordhammaster:
    Ty decarez. I will keep sales on, unfortunately its still for women n minorities and pushers who couldn't make it as traders. however i will remove women since its a bit sexist. howver i will add E.R., that is a good contribution i forgot about.

    Updated List:
    Back Office
    Middle Office
    Sales
    Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
    Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
    Capital Markets
    Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
    PWM
    Backwater offices in Asia
    Consultants
    State school kids
    Equity Research

    o my god this fordhamASSmaster (his new name on the board) is really the joker of all jokers someone please help me to get this complete loser off the boards as all he does is keep posting useless threads with zero credibility. i mean, of what use in the world could this or any such list provide not to mention half the stuff on the list is actually good stuff

    Jefferies, what's wrong with Jefferies they are kicking ass and of course backwater offices anywhere are not great so again may i ask you what kind of total loser are you my peon of a little buddy

    we all know how to hack hammermaster's account so let me at it and maybe we'll just all disable him

    his posts are the greatest thing sinced unsliced bread

    what a doucheturd

    and again, i realize my post is long and aimed at the ASSmaster himself, but i can't stand and cant understand how anyone on these boards can even acknowledge such totally useless and baseless posts that just take up whole threads for no purpose except to propogate rumors and lies or totally obvious stuff

    as for this poster, he is as good as his word - and his word is no good.

    he has a history of pathetic retorts, so just for humor let's see what he comes back with and maybe that will be that i'm an idiot or that his post actually had merit

    get a job you loser
    .

    Why so serious?

  • TheManWithThePlan's picture

    because this is not a hate rag and you of all people should know that brown

    come on as i've seen your many posts trying to clean things up

    can't have patrick on here 24x7 babysitting these immature babies that can't seem to get their asses out of the wasting time mode

    the site will go under and sue to a few little pricks that don't know how to handle themselves

    nite

    #################################################
    I am the Man. I Have the Plan. Follow Me to the Promised Land.

  • TheKing's picture

    Good God. Is this real?

    Anyone who makes fun of someone for working in a middle / back / whatever office is a fucking retard. We're all just trying to make a buck.

  • In reply to TheKing
    Mzz's picture

    TheKing:
    We're all just trying to make a buck.

    Should be the new WSO motto.
  • fordhammaster's picture

    Yacht: thanks for your contribution, the board has decided to add it in, though Dallas is a bit outdated so we will use chicago in the list. I didn't add houston since they are at least used for energy and nat resources.

    New Updated List of Unprestigious Things in Finance:
    Back Office
    Middle Office
    Sales
    Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
    Crappy no name boutiques like Financial technology partners (yuck!!)
    Capital Markets
    Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
    PWM
    Backwater offices in Asia
    Backwater offices in Chicago
    Consultants
    State school kids
    Equity Research

  • fordhammaster's picture

    ^how do u like FTP?

  • nextbigthing's picture

    I'll be working at a prestigious place, one that you can never get a job at. I still don't show others down the way you do. Piece of shit.

  • ews09's picture

    equities in dallas

  • SirBankalot's picture

    fordhammaster = sternmasta reincarnate?

  • PowerMonkey's picture

    A lot of anger on this one right now. The whole point of a list like this is to make fun and joke.

    To be honest, all of the things on the list are the less "prestigious" options. That doesn't mean they are worthless, just that they aren't as prestigious, generally pay worse, and have more limited exit options.

    All else being equal, you will have wider exit opps in non-cap markets IB than in cap markets. Going to an Ivy will help you get a job over someone who went to a state school. GET OVER IT.

    Personally, I have lived in Chicago (on the list) and I'm now in ER. So what, I choose them because I like them. This post is in the MONKEYING AROUND Forum. It isn't meant to provide insight, its meant to relieve stress and have fun.

    Stick to the parts of the forum that are meant to provide advice if that is what you are looking for.

    --There are stupid questions, so think first.
    Financial Modeling Training
    Banking Resume

  • 1styearBanker's picture

    Great post Powermonkey, I would give you bananas if I could. I don't get why people so vehemently argue against simple facts of life. Does Wharton on average place better than BYU? Yes. But who works in IBD in a BB on my floor? BYU alum. Its about the individual and what you make of your life, and don't be such an uptight ahole not to have fun while you're alive.

  • In reply to touchme
    amande96's picture

    touchme:
    cross women off the list, fordham. this is exactly what amande96 wants to hear.
    and add lawyers instead.

    lol, why im showing up here.
    anyways,i dont make lists, but i do keep one, guys i am not interested to sleep with.
    OP you are right on.

  • PiperJaffrayChiang's picture

    ^if you can keep a list than you must be easy

    =========================================
    We are excited to formally extend to you an offer to join Bank of Ameria

  • In reply to amande96
    ShreddiesBrah's picture

    amande96:
    touchme:
    cross women off the list, fordham. this is exactly what amande96 wants to hear.
    and add lawyers instead.

    lol, why im showing up here.
    anyways,i dont make lists, but i do keep one, guys i am not interested to sleep with.
    OP you are right on.

    Speaking of lists
    http://jaylevanne.wordpress.com/2009/12/23/sympath...

  • In reply to PiperJaffrayChiang
    amande96's picture

    PiperJaffrayChiang:
    ^if you can keep a list than you must be easy

    whether im easy or not depends on whether you are hot. if you dont see this point, i assume you dont get laid often

  • fordhammaster's picture

    At first I would say no since then i'd have to add in nomura/bnp/societe/etc. but now that RBS has been CRUSHED and OBLITERATED both firmwise and new U.K. regulations-wise, I will include RBS as one of the firms to be shat on due to 0 bonuses for 2 years and the huge fleeing of talent from that shithole firm. I also have spelled out private wealth management since noobs migh tnot know what PWM is.

    Thank you for your contribution.

    New Updated List of Unprestigious Things in Finance:
    Back Office
    Middle Office
    Sales
    Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
    Crappy no name boutiques like Financial technology partners (yuck!!)
    Capital Markets
    Jefferies/Piper Jaffray/RBS
    Private Wealth Management
    Backwater offices in Asia
    Backwater offices in Chicago
    Consultants
    State school kids
    Equity Research

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