12/19/09

Thought I'd make a list of all the things that we should make fun of in finance, in no particular order they are:

Back Office
Middle Office
Sales
Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
Capital Markets
Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
PWM
Backwater offices in Asia

Comments (71)

12/19/09

add in fordham

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12/20/09
fembotma:

add in fordham

I think "fem"botma and fordhamassmaster ought to go bang themselves as both are a couple of douchebags

#

I am the Man. I Have the Plan. Follow Me to the Promised Land.

12/20/09

And FordhamASSmaster, you ought to go back to mommy and daddy and build some credibility before you start bashing other people's careers be it in back office or wherever;. loser.

#

I am the Man. I Have the Plan. Follow Me to the Promised Land.

12/19/09

dammit, i was about to say fordham

man made the money, money never made the man

12/19/09

Rutgers

12/19/09

What's wrong with Capital Markets?

Best Response
12/19/09

I love kids with no social worth who think they're better than everyone else because they managed to win the genetic lottery and be born into some old-money WASPy family that can't stand each other.

You're the wad your mother should've swallowed, kid.

12/19/09

Edmundo put it more elegantly than anyone else but i would add fordhammaster to his own list.

12/19/09

+1 Edmundo.

But also, people who wear square toed shoes.

12/19/09

Edmundo's post is spot on...

12/19/09

What is wrong with you?

12/19/09

if its all in jest, then what's the big deal?

No way this guy is serious. Most of us have read the leveraged sellout and had a good laugh. The outlaying douchebags that take themselves so seriously that they actually take their banker prestige to heart and really think people in PWM are shitty, shouldnt be able to detract from the tongue-in-cheek humor of posts like this.

12/19/09

Consultants and liberal arts degrees.

Life, liberty and the pursuit of Starwood Points

12/19/09

People who believed in Obama for change.

12/19/09

State school kids.....oh wait

12/19/09
12/19/09

I should mention I though this entire thread was sarcastic--my apologies to the Rutgers kids. Those guys are serious?

12/19/09

....zhu zhu hamster toys

12/19/09

don't take life so seriously i made this thread just for fun, though some of it is true since ppl on this board like to make fun of each other, but its all in good fun. I will add consultants to the list. also capital markets blows 'cause of 0 exit ops and lower pay and sometimes its middle office work that is recruited separate from IBD. I will also add state school only cuz there are some idiots (though many state school kids like me are quite smart and hardworking). i'll also add women for obvious reasons since they burn out and go into PWM.

New List:

Back Office
Middle Office
Sales
Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
Capital Markets
Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
PWM
Backwater offices in Asia
Consultants
State school kids
Women

12/19/09

NYU Stern

--There are stupid questions, so think first.
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12/20/09

cross women off the list, fordham. this is exactly what amande96 wants to hear.
and add lawyers instead.

12/25/09
touchme:

cross women off the list, fordham. this is exactly what amande96 wants to hear.
and add lawyers instead.

lol, why im showing up here.
anyways,i dont make lists, but i do keep one, guys i am not interested to sleep with.
OP you are right on.

12/25/09
amande96:
touchme:

cross women off the list, fordham. this is exactly what amande96 wants to hear.
and add lawyers instead.

lol, why im showing up here.
anyways,i dont make lists, but i do keep one, guys i am not interested to sleep with.
OP you are right on.

Speaking of lists
http://jaylevanne.wordpress.com/2009/12/23/sympath...

12/20/09

lol...too funny

12/20/09

Fordham trash talks capital markets kids left and right yet I know of so many that have futures way brighter than his. But that's all fine and good if you actually had a job
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/applying-to-...

I think the way to get into a BB from a non-target is not to be a raging dickhead

12/20/09

rating agencies!

12/20/09

Drop:
Sales
NYU Stern
Women (credit to touchme)

Add:
Trolls
Aldo shoes

Edit: Add Equity Research as well...

12/20/09

above ground pools

12/20/09

Ty decarez. I will keep sales on, unfortunately its still for women n minorities and pushers who couldn't make it as traders. however i will remove women since its a bit sexist. howver i will add E.R., that is a good contribution i forgot about.

Updated List:
Back Office
Middle Office
Sales
Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
Capital Markets
Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
PWM
Backwater offices in Asia
Consultants
State school kids
Equity Research

12/21/09
fordhammaster:

Ty decarez. I will keep sales on, unfortunately its still for women n minorities and pushers who couldn't make it as traders. however i will remove women since its a bit sexist. howver i will add E.R., that is a good contribution i forgot about.

Updated List:
Back Office
Middle Office
Sales
Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
Capital Markets
Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
PWM
Backwater offices in Asia
Consultants
State school kids
Equity Research

o my god this fordhamASSmaster (his new name on the board) is really the joker of all jokers someone please help me to get this complete loser off the boards as all he does is keep posting useless threads with zero credibility. i mean, of what use in the world could this or any such list provide not to mention half the stuff on the list is actually good stuff

Jefferies, what's wrong with Jefferies they are kicking ass and of course backwater offices anywhere are not great so again may i ask you what kind of total loser are you my peon of a little buddy

we all know how to hack hammermaster's account so let me at it and maybe we'll just all disable him

his posts are the greatest thing sinced unsliced bread

what a doucheturd

and again, i realize my post is long and aimed at the ASSmaster himself, but i can't stand and cant understand how anyone on these boards can even acknowledge such totally useless and baseless posts that just take up whole threads for no purpose except to propogate rumors and lies or totally obvious stuff

as for this poster, he is as good as his word - and his word is no good.

he has a history of pathetic retorts, so just for humor let's see what he comes back with and maybe that will be that i'm an idiot or that his post actually had merit

get a job you loser
.

#

I am the Man. I Have the Plan. Follow Me to the Promised Land.

12/21/09
BBMMBoutique:
fordhammaster:

Ty decarez. I will keep sales on, unfortunately its still for women n minorities and pushers who couldn't make it as traders. however i will remove women since its a bit sexist. howver i will add E.R., that is a good contribution i forgot about.

Updated List:
Back Office
Middle Office
Sales
Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
Crappy no name boutiques like FTP
Capital Markets
Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
PWM
Backwater offices in Asia
Consultants
State school kids
Equity Research

o my god this fordhamASSmaster (his new name on the board) is really the joker of all jokers someone please help me to get this complete loser off the boards as all he does is keep posting useless threads with zero credibility. i mean, of what use in the world could this or any such list provide not to mention half the stuff on the list is actually good stuff

Jefferies, what's wrong with Jefferies they are kicking ass and of course backwater offices anywhere are not great so again may i ask you what kind of total loser are you my peon of a little buddy

we all know how to hack hammermaster's account so let me at it and maybe we'll just all disable him

his posts are the greatest thing sinced unsliced bread

what a doucheturd

and again, i realize my post is long and aimed at the ASSmaster himself, but i can't stand and cant understand how anyone on these boards can even acknowledge such totally useless and baseless posts that just take up whole threads for no purpose except to propogate rumors and lies or totally obvious stuff

as for this poster, he is as good as his word - and his word is no good.

he has a history of pathetic retorts, so just for humor let's see what he comes back with and maybe that will be that i'm an idiot or that his post actually had merit

get a job you loser
.

Why so serious?

12/21/09

Cool, man. A list. This is hilarious, dude. Are you gonna use it? Are you gonna use the list? Shit, I wish I had a list of topics enabling me to be humorous.

Nah, really I'm just being a dick because I am a state-schooled equity research salesman at Jefferies' backwater Asian office, who does some side consulting.

12/21/09

Where's Stern on the list? David Stern needs to be on this list.

12/21/09
PiperChiangAccent:

Where's Stern on the list? David Stern needs to be on this list.

To make this list legit, no names will be added unfortunately. However, all your recommendations will be carefully analyzed and examined by our team to see if it fits our list.

12/22/09

LOL I don't know whether to take this thread seriously or not anymore.

Don't forget to add Dallas, it seems to be a popular item in Liars Poker!

12/22/09

because this is not a hate rag and you of all people should know that brown

come on as i've seen your many posts trying to clean things up

can't have patrick on here 24x7 babysitting these immature babies that can't seem to get their asses out of the wasting time mode

the site will go under and sue to a few little pricks that don't know how to handle themselves

nite

#

I am the Man. I Have the Plan. Follow Me to the Promised Land.

12/22/09

Good God. Is this real?

Anyone who makes fun of someone for working in a middle / back / whatever office is a fucking retard. We're all just trying to make a buck.

12/22/09
TheKing:

We're all just trying to make a buck.

Should be the new WSO motto.

12/22/09

Yacht: thanks for your contribution, the board has decided to add it in, though Dallas is a bit outdated so we will use chicago in the list. I didn't add houston since they are at least used for energy and nat resources.

New Updated List of Unprestigious Things in Finance:
Back Office
Middle Office
Sales
Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
Crappy no name boutiques like Financial technology partners (yuck!!)
Capital Markets
Jefferies/Piper Jaffray
PWM
Backwater offices in Asia
Backwater offices in Chicago
Consultants
State school kids
Equity Research

12/22/09

fordhammaster and his dad

12/22/09

^how do u like FTP?

12/22/09

I'll be working at a prestigious place, one that you can never get a job at. I still don't show others down the way you do. Piece of shit.

12/22/09

equities in dallas

12/23/09

fordhammaster = sternmasta reincarnate?

12/27/09
SirBankalot:

fordhammaster = sternmasta reincarnate?

That is what I was thinking too. Banned once, .......

12/31/09
jerome123:
SirBankalot:

fordhammaster = sternmasta reincarnate?

That is what I was thinking too. Banned once, .......

You know you've been here too long if you remember that. I think it's a different person based on this fordhammaster's member status.

12/23/09

A lot of anger on this one right now. The whole point of a list like this is to make fun and joke.

To be honest, all of the things on the list are the less "prestigious" options. That doesn't mean they are worthless, just that they aren't as prestigious, generally pay worse, and have more limited exit options.

All else being equal, you will have wider exit opps in non-cap markets IB than in cap markets. Going to an Ivy will help you get a job over someone who went to a state school. GET OVER IT.

Personally, I have lived in Chicago (on the list) and I'm now in ER. So what, I choose them because I like them. This post is in the MONKEYING AROUND Forum. It isn't meant to provide insight, its meant to relieve stress and have fun.

Stick to the parts of the forum that are meant to provide advice if that is what you are looking for.

--There are stupid questions, so think first.
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12/23/09

Great post Powermonkey, I would give you bananas if I could. I don't get why people so vehemently argue against simple facts of life. Does Wharton on average place better than BYU? Yes. But who works in IBD in a BB on my floor? BYU alum. Its about the individual and what you make of your life, and don't be such an uptight ahole not to have fun while you're alive.

12/25/09

^if you can keep a list than you must be easy

=========================================
We are excited to formally extend to you an offer to join Bank of Ameria

12/25/09
PiperJaffrayChiang:

^if you can keep a list than you must be easy

whether im easy or not depends on whether you are hot. if you dont see this point, i assume you dont get laid often

12/26/09

I would add RBS right next to PJC/Jefferies.

12/26/09

At first I would say no since then i'd have to add in nomura/bnp/societe/etc. but now that RBS has been CRUSHED and OBLITERATED both firmwise and new U.K. regulations-wise, I will include RBS as one of the firms to be shat on due to 0 bonuses for 2 years and the huge fleeing of talent from that shithole firm. I also have spelled out private wealth management since noobs migh tnot know what PWM is.

Thank you for your contribution.

New Updated List of Unprestigious Things in Finance:
Back Office
Middle Office
Sales
Shady Prop trading firms and casinos like SMB capital
Crappy no name boutiques like Financial technology partners (yuck!!)
Capital Markets
Jefferies/Piper Jaffray/RBS
Private Wealth Management
Backwater offices in Asia
Backwater offices in Chicago
Consultants
State school kids
Equity Research

12/26/09

also a fun game is to mix and match things from the list to make ur own "Unprestigious person!"

Pick and choose to create ur very own unprestigious person now for only $9.99! for example u can pick asia sales analyst at RBS! or how about equity research state schooled graduate at PJC? Back office kid in Chicago? The possibilities are endless!

Order now!!! Order within the next 5 minutes and u will get a FREE addition unprestigious person action figure with FTP T-shirt!

12/26/09
fordhammaster:

also a fun game is to mix and match things from the list to make ur own "Unprestigious person!"

Pick and choose to create ur very own unprestigious person now for only $9.99! for example u can pick asia sales analyst at RBS! or how about equity research state schooled graduate at PJC? Back office kid in Chicago? The possibilities are endless!

Order now!!! Order within the next 5 minutes and u will get a FREE addition unprestigious person action figure with FTP T-shirt!

You officially have the limpest wrist on WSO. Shouldn't you be studying for spring semester finals?

12/26/09

^
An ex-consultant at Accenture who now works in the IT solutions of Piper Jefferies Shanghai office

12/26/09

Um that'll cost u 19.99, u've piled it on heavier than most

12/26/09

Can I just have a T-shirt that says I'm fordhammaster? That's about as unprestigious as it gets.

12/27/09

I think it's quite funny...why so serious on Monkeying Around?

12/27/09
SirBakealot:

I think it's quite funny...why so serious on Monkeying Around?

Mmm, quite.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_L4qZY4G7EVI/RwKFeuKTvKI/...

12/31/09

now that the list is complete we can start making fun. LOL @ SALES u guys blow, u drag s&t down

12/31/09

Make sure to print off a copy of the list so you can take it with you to the bars...I mean dorm parties. You'll be a hit once you bust that list out and start reading from it. If girls love anything, it's a man with a list.

12/31/09

What a douchebag this guy is. He's like the person everyone loves to hate. This must be a joke. I seriously hope he's joking

Step 1: Dream the Dream || Step 2: Live the Dream || Step 3: Rinse, repeat.

12/31/09

When you state State School, are you just referring to any public University?

12/31/09

I'm surprised Fordhammaster left off crippled kids and broken homes.

12/31/09

My list basically boils down to fordhammaster.

12/31/09

econ: no man, i'm from a state school myself. I'm talking about shitty ones like baruch and rutgers. the good ones are like berkeley, ucla, uva, umich, unc, ut.

"I'm surprised Fordhammaster left off crippled kids and broken homes."

that doesn't relate to finance. stay on topic please?

1/19/10

lol why not just write

-anything that is not IBD

and save yourself the typing

2/2/10
2/4/10

=========================================
"... then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

12/13/10
12/13/10

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer
"Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee

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