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Breaking into Banking is NOT Like Applying to College
 

Will Hunting's picture
IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:00pm
confused.png

I have seen a ton threads like "Chance Me", "Can I get a job at GS with these credentials", and a ton of retarded shit in the main SA thread.

Listen, getting an interview for investment banking is not like getting accepted into college.

Some people say college is a crap shoot but really, it is more of a sure thing than most people think - unless we're talking Harvard. Anyway, if you have top SAT scores, a high GPA, took a ton of AP's and were the president of multiple clubs, you will likely get into a few IVY's or other top schools.

Banking is nothing like that. It doesn't matter if you have a 4.0 in Economics at Wharton, you do not have a good chance to get an interview at Goldman Sachs. No one has a GOOD chance to get an interview at a top bank. In fact, you could possible have ZERO chance if you don't have the right attitude, resume writing skills, and networking skills.

You could have a 3.7+ and a solid internship and still come away with no offers, and even worse, no interviews. Stop treating this like you're in high school and what you have accomplished academically matters. Finance is about relationships and people skills.

Also, stop it with the fucking Bulge Bracket BULL SHIT. There are boutiques with better deal flow, exit opportunities, compensation while also providing a better work-life balance. Bulge Brackets are not like Ivy league schools where they are better than almost every other school.

Lazard is better than most of the BB's.
Evercore is better than some of them.
Blackstone, Greenhill, Qatalyst, Moelis. HLHZ, Centerview are all arguably better than most bulge brackets.

UBS, BAML, and Citi are not what they used to be. Many people who know what they are talking about would gladly take Qatalyst over almost any bank sans maybe Blackstone or GS - but even still, it wouldn't be crazy to take Qatalyst.

Then you have firms like Guggenheim, Cowen, Raymond James, Stifel, and a ton of other that are just as good.

Anyway, what I'm saying is...most of you won't make it if you don't change your attitude and the way you are approaching recruiting. Nothing is certain and NO ONE CAN FUCKING CHANCE YOU for a job. You could be a fucking dipshit who is good in class but sucks at holding a conversation and therefore, you will never ever get a job in IBD.

Network, study technicals, and practice your story. That's what matters.

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.
Will Hunting's picture

Oh, and shut the fuck up

IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 5:43pm

Oh, and shut the fuck up about exit ops. If you don't have a job, WHO THE FUCK CARES. Get a job first and then worry about that shit. I know, first hand, that it doesn't matter what group you're in or bank you work at, you can still get into PE or a HF. And this doesn't matter because most of you who wank it to PE don't even know what it is or how a deal works etc. How do you even know you want to do it?

Right, it's because you have no motivation besides what you heard your other friends jerk off to.

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.

Will Hunting's picture

End of rant.

IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 5:43pm

End of rant.

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.

BlackHat's picture

+1

HF
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 5:46pm

+1

I hate victims who respect their executioners

Follow BH & Co. on Twitter: @DumbLuckCapital
twitter.com/DumbLuckCapital

SmokeyG's picture

AfuckingMEN. I'd be surprised

 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 5:48pm

AfuckingMEN. I'd be surprised if over 33% of the people on WSO could meaningfully explain what both a PE firm and a HF are.

Post of the year so far.

Oreos's picture

Will Hunting: Also, stop it

ST
(Neanderthal, 2,564
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 5:58pm
Will Hunting:

Also, stop it with the fucking Bulge Bracket BULL SHIT. There are boutiques with better deal flow, exit opportunities, compensation while also providing a better work-life balance. Bulge Brackets are not like Ivy league schools where they are better than almost every other school..

yea, but then who's going to wipe my bottom for me without the BB support staff? and girls in clubs dont know who Lazard are....

Will Hunting:

Network, study technicals, and practice your story. That's what matters.

sounds a lot like hard work....

seriously though, can we add all this fashion advice to this rant too? who the fuck can't buy themselves a navy blue suit without asking a forum?! seriously, sort it out kids.

Will Hunting's picture

And to whoever threw 2 monkey

IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 5:58pm

And to whoever threw 2 monkey shits at me, GO FUCK YOURSELF, I hope you never get a job.

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.

kyleyboy's picture

I like this post. very blunt

HF
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:00pm

I like this post. very blunt but true

I help people with the tough situation of not knowing how to respond to emails.

WallStreetPlayboys's picture

This commentary, while

O
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:08pm

This commentary, while aggressively written is accurate.

You can have a polished résumé great experience and somehow get goose egged at internship selection, full time selection, etc.

The best way to get a job, any job, not just Wall Street is to know someone there who will vouch for you. Some people hate on fraternities, hate on "cliques", however if it's the right clique to be in... Guess what you're ahead of the game.

Unlike your college application which is almost entirely innocuous and not personal (save for athletes and other similar prefered entrance) the job market has massive bias. There is no doubt about it, if a Vice President or director hands me a résumé and he is from "non-target" and has similar experience as "target" with no direct hand off. Will choose the direct reference 100% of the time.

"A man is as valuable as his options" as soon as you have one strong option, doors open.

WallStreetPlayboys.com

Twitter @WallStPlayboys

Get paid, Get Laid. Nothing else matters.

Determined's picture

This needs to be on the front

 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:18pm

This needs to be on the front page permanently

Talent is hitting a target no one can hit.
Genius is hitting a target no one can see.

BTbanker's picture

+1 WH How do you like them

IB
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:29pm

+1 WH

How do you like them apples!!

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

whartonbetch's picture

a little exaggerated. grades

IB
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:36pm

a little exaggerated. grades and school still matter...a lot

In reply to whartonbetch
Will Hunting's picture

whartonbetch: a little

IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:39pm
whartonbetch:

a little exaggerated. grades and school still matter...a lot

I can tell from your post history that you are an asshole so of course you would disagree with my post that everyone else has agreed with so far. Your stupid ass GS Accelerated thread is one of the most putrid pieces of garbage I have ever seen and you should feel bad.

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.

whatwhatwhat's picture

why are you so angry bro

HF
(King Kong, 1,431
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:48pm

why are you so angry bro

In reply to whatwhatwhat
Will Hunting's picture

whatwhatwhat: why are you so

IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:50pm
whatwhatwhat:

why are you so angry bro

Not angry. I just say the stuff that everyone wants to say.

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.

BTbanker's picture

Can we initiate a competence

IB
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 6:56pm

Can we initiate a competence test for people who wish to make an account?

If they fail the test, make them pour through the FAQs, and don't allow them to post in threads until they pass a certain threshold.

It would be an attempt to shed some of the superfluous threads, and highlight the good ones. Also, it would probably reduce spam by 99%.

Just a thought here.

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

TeddyTheBear's picture

While we are on the

IB
(Gorilla, 630
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:02pm
In reply to BTbanker
ZenMaster's picture

BTbanker: Can we initiate a

(Baboon, 144
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:04pm
ZenMaster's picture

There's nothing wrong with

(Baboon, 144
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:08pm
In reply to TeddyTheBear
ZenMaster's picture

TeddyTheBear: While we are on

(Baboon, 144
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:09pm
In reply to ZenMaster
BTbanker's picture

ZenMaster: BTbanker: Can we

IB
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:10pm

"A man generally has two reasons for doing anything. One that sounds good, and the real one." - J.P. Morgan

evilbyaccident's picture

Will Hunting: Listen,

 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:17pm
In reply to Determined
roofstreet's picture

yes. Determined: This needs

PE
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:29pm

"...the art of good business, is being a good middle man, putting people togeather. It's all about honor and respect."

In reply to evilbyaccident
Will Hunting's picture

evilbyaccident: Will

IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:33pm

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.

JeremyS's picture

I guess I picked a bad day to

O
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:39pm
ogofnyc's picture

I agree that SAT's shouldn't

 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:44pm

To fade me its gonna take more than guts, you need the eye of the tiger, heart of a lion and King Kong’s nuts

Newspeak's picture

.

IB
(Orangutan, 343
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:16pm
virtu333's picture

Getting an interview is not

IB
(Baboon, 128
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:50pm
In reply to BTbanker
TDSWIM's picture

BTbanker: Can we initiate a

(Orangutan, 325
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:53pm
dolph's picture

Did you have a hard day at

(Monkey, 46
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 7:53pm
eleutheros's picture

Great post. I admire the OP

IB
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:09pm
In reply to JeremyS
Dying&#039;s For Fools's picture

JeremyS: I guess I picked a

O
(Gorilla, 551
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:14pm

"Well make more fuckin' money. This is America. You don't make money, then you're a fuckin' douchebag." - Mr. French

streetwannabe's picture

Agree very much with

AM
(King Kong, 1,406
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:19pm

"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

In reply to Newspeak
Will Hunting's picture

Newspeak: . I did read your

IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:27pm

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.

whatwhatwhat's picture

LOL @ Will Hunting editing

HF
(King Kong, 1,431
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:47pm
In reply to evilbyaccident
PuppyBackedSecurities's picture

evilbyaccident: Will

IB
(Orangutan, 301
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:55pm
In reply to JeremyS
asiamoney's picture

JeremyS: I guess I picked a

(King Kong, 1,122
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:52pm
In reply to Dying's For Fools
JeremyS's picture

Dying's For

O
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:53pm
In reply to asiamoney
JeremyS's picture

asiamoney: JeremyS: I guess

O
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 8:53pm
In reply to Will Hunting
Aston Gekko's picture

Will

(Monkey, 39
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 9:08pm
In reply to PuppyBackedSecurities
sick_willy's picture

PuppyBackedSecurities: evil

PE
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 9:10pm

---------------------------
BossMode

OffTheGrid's picture

While I don't disagree with

O
(Monkey, 38
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 9:15pm
junkbondswap's picture

The fact that the OP sounds

(King Kong, 1,742
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 9:23pm
In reply to junkbondswap
Will Hunting's picture

junkbondswap: The fact that

IB
(King Kong, 1,238
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 9:30pm

"Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way. In twenty years, if you're still livin' here, comin' over to my house to watch the Patriots games, still workin' construction, I'll fuckin' kill you. That's not a threat, that's a fact.

moneymogul's picture

Spot on. It's insane how

IB
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 10:04pm
In reply to whatwhatwhat
mongoose's picture

whatwhatwhat: LOL @ Will

O
(King Kong, 1,040
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 10:09pm
In reply to moneymogul
mongoose's picture

moneymogul: Spot on. It's

O
(King Kong, 1,040
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 10:12pm
BanditPandit's picture

-1 didn't include anything on

O
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 10:20pm
JDawg's picture

I agree with the main

(Gorilla, 528
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 10:32pm
etherlord's picture

Will Hunting: No one has a

CF
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 11:10pm
marcellus_wallace's picture

You just dropped the

ST
(King Kong, 1,643
 
Points)
 on 1/14/13 at 11:11pm

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