Top Tip: Get any MD to read your resume (or anyone to read anything)
So no one is returning your sad, sappy, suck up emails? People think you are cold calling for girl scout cookies? Well man the f*ck up and lets trick someone into reading your resume. Don't bother with this unless your resume is stellar, not because it wont work, but because you probably aren't smart enough to get the job anyway. I had a BB MD tell me this while I was doing informational interviews 2 years ago...
1. Print your resume on paper that would give Patrick Bateman a hard on
2. Go to the Fed-Ex store and secure the most bad-ass looking padded over-sized Priority Overnight envelope you can get your hands on. Insert your resume like, a metaphor for penis entering into a vagina.
3. Figure out an address to send this thing to so it will be slammed down on said MD's desk like it was (and probably is) the most important thing he will ever read. If you don't have one, fucking find it: here are some tips. Address in his email signature, call and ask a secretary where to send a very important priority document if you need it to get to said-MD. Send it to the group - attn: MD name, analyst will not think twice about throwing it on his desk. Google..etc.
4. Send it on a Friday. He will see it on his desk Monday morning and think "Oh shit a client sent docs over the weekend. This must be do or die. Who would spend money on priority overnight (or paper) unless it was important - I better look at this now."
5. He slides open the envelope to see a resume and EXTRAORDINARY cover letter. At first he is mad because you took him to school - and then laughs because your balls are so huge. Now he remembers you sent him an email a week ago, AND THIS MORNING reminding him that you are interested in talking to him about his super successful career.
6. Secure interview, and get ready for a shitty job.





Actually not a bad idea, if
Actually not a bad idea, if you've exhausted other options. I would probably be pissed for roughly 2.5 seconds but would then be impressed by the cojones. If the resume were good enough, I'd call the person and say, "Okay, you got me. Take five minutes and tell me why."
N.B. If you follow this strategy, be ready to pick up your phone on Monday morning and dive right into your five-minute spiel. A lot of people (self included) don't leave or return voicemail.
See my other WSO blog posts
I don't know why this thread
I don't know why this thread made me think of this, but what about paying a singing telegram service to hand deliver your resume door to door throughout the city? Idk about you guys, but if someone delivered their resume to me via a mariachi band or some ass hat dressed up as the California raisin they would certainly have my attention.
GBS
That shits awesome. +1
That shits awesome. +1
I help people with the tough situation of not knowing how to respond to emails.
GoldmanBallSachs: I don't
I don't know why this thread made me think of this, but what about paying a singing telegram service to hand deliver your resume door to door throughout the city? Idk about you guys, but if someone delivered their resume to me via a mariachi band or some ass hat dressed up as the California raisin they would certainly have my attention.
The OP's idea is great. I would find it hilarious and prob give the person a shot.
The quoted post... Wayyyyyy too much. I'd be aggravated
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Better just hand it in
Better just hand it in yourself
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GoldmanBallSachs: I don't
I don't know why this thread made me think of this, but what about paying a singing telegram service to hand deliver your resume door to door throughout the city? Idk about you guys, but if someone delivered their resume to me via a mariachi band or some ass hat dressed up as the California raisin they would certainly have my attention.
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA California Raisin!!! Classic.
Sounds like a legit plan. Is
Sounds like a legit plan. Is there actual evidence of this working?
Stand in front of 200 West
Stand in front of 200 West and hold up a sign like this:
http://www.topnewstoday.org/i5/9/66/84/img_3184669...
wow you really tried hard to
wow you really tried hard to insert humor into your post.
This service is for real, and
This service is for real, and this is their California raisin. Not gonna lie, I'm slightly underwhelmed
GBS
Good strategy, better than
Good strategy, better than kidnapping
The Auto Show
What if the MD turns around
What if the MD turns around and scans and e-mails your resume to his buddies at other banks, telling them to auto-ding you? Could be Jeffrey Chiang all over again.
i think this is a pretty
i think this is a pretty interesting idea with great potential upside and minimal downside. unless the resume is utterly ridiculous, you don't run the risk of becoming the next jeffrey chiang - simply not worth his time to go after you that way.
whoever decides to try this, let me know how it goes - curious to know whether it's really effective.
Capitalist
So, I have done this before.
So, I have done this before. My strategy was a little different. I didn't use Fed Ex because it's stupid expensive. I just bought white folder envelopes and stuck my resume/cover letter in and mailed it for 2$. But not to an MD, to HR. Why HR? Because they keep the resumes on file. I followed up my mailing with some calls. Not returned...no matter. Got a call back 6 weeks later.
av8ter: So, I have done this
So, I have done this before. My strategy was a little different. I didn't use Fed Ex because it's stupid expensive. I just bought white folder envelopes and stuck my resume/cover letter in and mailed it for 2$. But not to an MD, to HR. Why HR? Because they keep the resumes on file. I followed up my mailing with some calls. Not returned...no matter. Got a call back 6 weeks later.
Did you get the job tho?
"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." - IlliniProgrammer
I've done this and have had
relinquis... Killing the GMAT this December; Over/Under set at: 725 GMATs.
Great advice! I actually did
I've done this before. It'll
this idea could backfire in
.
buy it. ride it. sell it.
fermion: this idea could
andyinsandiego: fermion: th
I think it's a good idea.
finance is the science of goal architecture.
lol. I'm gonna do this. This
If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.
"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
The risks outweigh the
fermion: andyinsandiego:
hmmm, sounds interesting.
Relinquis: I've done this and
This is genius....do you
So this was fairly recently,
*clap clap clap clap clap
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make that booty go In The
av8ter: So this was fairly
buy it. ride it. sell it.
I probably won't be doing
Not bad ... this should
This could go either way
Love the idea. If I don't
KKS: What if the MD turns
roymondito: KKS: What if