Hi Guys, and Merry Christmas!
I need a bit of advice from the much more social monkeys lurking around this forum.
Have you ever found yourself stuck with a MD or a senior up and not know what to talk about? Someone you don't specifically work with and don't know too much about but who is way up your reporting line? I can handle one off meetings but topics like the weather and current news can get boring after a while.
I'll give you a bit of context in my case. My MD has made me his... weekly lunch buddy for the next half a year, even sending me a recurring meeting invite, and I am at a loss on what to talk to him about! I've had coffee with him once or twice and usually just go with the flow and see what HE has to say, but if I'm suddenly his weekly lunch buddy (and the 'lunch' is set for an hour each time), then I better come up with a few back up topics just in case the conversation goes stale. He's not only doing this with me, he's also invited other analysts for one on one lunches.
I'm also female, and sometimes it's a bit more difficult to find topics of interest. Topics like sports and cars would be pretentious because that's not my interest and while I can smile and nod at what he says, it'll come off as very insincere seeing as I know absolutely nothing about them!
Help??
Just listen, be yourself, be attentive.
Most senior execs like talking anyway. Being someone's listening ear is advantageous.
Thanks for the advice, and that's what I've been doing for previous coffee sessions with him lol. However, those occured once in 2-3 months previously, and only for half an hour. Now that he wants to have lunch every week for an hour plus, I figured I better have something more interesting to say. I don't want to be the only one he never asks for lunch/coffee anymore!
Sometimes its about perspective. He may say a few things and then you can provide a viewpoint. You don't have to worry about constantly coming up with an original idea, you're not John Nash.
People feel really good when they have a listening ear. This is about affirming him, not making yourself look smart. I mean the latter may occur, but to push it artificially isn't worth it in my opinion. I don't mean being a yes man/woman, but rather letting him know that you're there for him.
Just chill out, kick back, smile, enjoy the free food, smile, laugh, you know the deal. This is the easy part.
I used to think that I tried too many things and succeeded none of them. But after reading this, I believed it's beneficial to try as many as possible things.
Going Private: It is about showing these various professionals a better time and connecting with them on a deeper level than the rest of the private equity professionals who were chasing them. I began, I thought, to suspect why Armin found me interesting. I sailed. I rode horses. I could hunt. I skied. I played tennis. I was a moderately talented faker when it came to golf. I came from a bit of a leisurely background. Perfect to connect, charm, seduce, whathaveyou, the CEx set.
I like this idea, but I barely even have weekends off these days, let alone time to try different things. Any quick tips?
I laughed at your 'moderately talented faker' remark. You sound like you'll have a very personable cv.
I quoted this from this blog: equityprivate dot typepad dot com. She is an anonymous PE associate. I'd recommend this blog. For many interests, I joined many interest groups on facebook like hunting, juto etc. They could at least give a rough idea about that sport or interest.
Research, research, research. Follow him on LinkedIn, find out where his professional interests lie, the type of posts he likes/comments on. When you speak with other management, find out the MD's thoughts and opinions on matters facing the company. Then research them, find white papers or other information. Read those.
But you are not collecting this knowledge so you can give him long lectures! The knowledge is background info. Your #1 rule should be to ask good questions. People love talking about themselves, sharing their opinions, giving you their views of the world.
If you have background knowledge on professional / business matters that are important to your MD you can ask intelligent questions on those topics.
It's alright to talk about personal (non-business) interests like sports and cars, but I suggest you play to your strengths and avoid dwelling on those topics for too long. It also strays a bit into "date territory" if you spend the entire time talking about personal interests and never any business matters.
Really like your advice and gave you a banana for it :P Will definitely check his profile out online.
I kind of want to say something interesting + intelligent while still staying in neutral territory - I want to have my cake and eat it too, I know! Things like politics, religion or having too strong an opinion on anything really can come off as offensive. A confidante suggests I finally feed him the idea about a toxic colleague but I disagree, I don't want to be the analyst who complains about a senior who has been in the team longer even if many others have and based on what she's told me in person, I honestly think I have grounds to go to HR with her. But I just don't see the benefit in doing it aside from maybe getting her a slap in the wrist and that half a day of satisfaction. What are your thoughts?
You come across as a very sensible young lady. I suggest you just trust your instincts, they seem to be leading you to the high road.
Having lunch with an MD or other senior banker is really all about being a sounding board and not being an awkward weirdo. The MD doesn't want to talk about some target company or the nuances of a DCF; he wants to tell you about his kid's hockey team or talk about the college football playoff. Just listen and add little appropriate bits as necessary to keep the conversation moving ("yeah, I think 'bama is the team to beat" and "yeah, my good friend from college played hockey at Hotchkiss, too"). You don't need to know everything about him, and he's most likely not going to expect you to carry the conversation. Just relax, forget that he's an MD, and have a conversation. This is where being well-rounded is a major plus.
This.
Some of you guys on WSO want to be go-go-go and pitching all the time, but it doesn't work like that. Building a valuable and mutually beneficial relationship with your superiors in the company (and those that continue on after they/you leave the company) are ones built on just talking about the different facets of life. When the time is right for you to plant a seed for an idea that you have, it is important that you have established the right soil in the relationship for the next stage to transpire.
I quoted this from this blog: equityprivate dot typepad dot com. She is an anonymous PE associate. I'd recommend this blog. For many interests, I joined many interest groups on facebook like hunting, juto etc. They could at least give a rough idea about that sport or interest.
I recently developed an idea on share of topics with professionals. Like Pareto principle, I'd talk about general things in 80% of the time and ask about finance or business in other 20%. Also, I'd talk myself in 20% of the time and let other talk about him in 80%. It seems like working.
Find some interesting books or articles (can be non-finance or finance), read them, and bring them up. See what their thoughts are.
You come off as interesting/well-read, you get to chat with the MD's on cool topics, and you gain some knowledge.
It's hard to just say "be an interesting person" - but...that's about the size of it. Have other interests besides work. Have something to say about the world around you on a few topics. Read as much as you can. Making yourself better in this way will naturally force you to become someone that others find interesting. I have a good friend that's an MD...we talk about the same things I talk about with all my other smart, successful friends. What's going on in the world, markets, politics, etc. But having something unique to say about these things, or at least showing that you've put more than minimal effort into understanding them than most, that's what will set you apart.
Being a good conversationalist is key. Figure out questions you'd like to ask him. People love to talk about themselves, especially if they think the other person is interested and might get something out of it.
Sounds pretty fake. I'm interested in the things I'm interested in.
I mean, there's a bit of relativism here. Some people could certainly stand to expand their interests and knowledge level on various things....obviously if there's a bunch of stuff you're already into and passionate about, that's fine - just be able to speak about it in a compelling and interesting way - no need to be fake, in fact you'll only hurt yourself doing that.
I have some experience that may be useful to you - I recently had lunch with an MD at a bulge bracket. I was nervous going into it (I'm a freshman in college) but I found this approach useful - let them do the majority of the talking. Read some books about something you think the both of you could talk about - I read Liar's Poker and Principles by Ray Dalio. It helped immensely - make a statement that indicates you're looking for his opinion or guidance. Examples I find success with "Now my understanding is that x equals x.. am I missing something". "Now I was reading in X (book) that x equals x.. what are your thoughts?". This will show you're coach able and open minded, and he will love giving his opinion and having the opportunity to mentor you.
Good luck.
Two words: Enlarged. Prostates.
Works every time.
First of all, that's a big deal because this MD clearly likes you (I actually wonder since you're a girl if he likes you only as a colleague), and this is an amazing and unique opportunity to connect with someone who can be a mentor and an advocate and can help make your career.
With that said, I think the key thing is to be natural and get comfortable talking to him. He's a guy you're going to be spending time with, so just try to cultivate a genuine relationship. Few people are good enough fakers or liars to make conversations fun and interesting many times in a row if they're fake. You'll get caught in lies and you'll sound fake and like a scheming fuck. Just be genuine and laid back and it'll be all good. See what he wants to talk about, and then talk about anything else you want to. If the lunches are long, ask some generalized advice questions, maybe bring some experiences in and out of the office to him and ask his opinion, tell some stories, etc. Just be natural and you'll be solid. But seriously, think about whether he could want more than lunch though......
What to talk about with Execs in social situations? (Originally Posted: 12/24/2015)
What are good topics to bring up, questions to ask, or radom things to say when you meet principals and executives of your firm? This would be a social situation and bear in mind we do not interact any other time of year because they are located in HQ office out of state. [firm is into Real Estate specific operations....] Help a monkey out. I'm not the type to BS my way through stupid conversations about stuff I don't know what I am talking about (e.g. wine clubs, golf or any other BS like that)
I usually just ask them what their hobbies/interests are outside the office, and suppose he/she mentions wine clubs. I don't know anything about them, but I become the ever attentive listener. "Oh so what are wine clubs exactly?" "Interesting, do they focus on locally produces wines. or wines across the world?" "I don't know my wines that well, I jusy know white with seafood and red with meats. What about you? What's your favoruite one?" "Ah you've definitely peaked my interest in wines, I'll have to cultivate this interst more. Are they any good wine clubs near by for novices like me?" "Sounds wonderful, I'll definitely have a look. Maybe next time, you can guide me through these places." "I'm more a beer person, I could definitely recommend some good IPA's."
This is just a sample, let them lead, that way they feel more important and you still seem engaged :) Of course, interest must be genuine.
What @aroraro5" said is good advice. Try to show interest in their activities. It will just be small talk.
Social situations when work related typically requires one to "BS my way through stupid conversations about stuff I don't know what I am talking about." Sorry, that's just the way it is. If you want to really meet and connect with a few senior execs find out what they like and learn a little bit about it. There's so much info online about people so just google, LinkedIn, FB, etc stalk them (with the appropriate privacy settings) and figure out what the ones you want to meet like. Maybe you have something in common with them, be it something typical like golf, movies (see an FB post about Star Wars? talk about it), sports, or something weird like you're both alpaca farmers. Or if you have nothing in common figure out what they like, especially if it's not main stream like alpaca farming, learn a little bit about it and casually bring it up in conversation and express interest in learning about it.
pere797 I usually introduce myself and try to join in on a conversation and see what topic they are talking about. If its Football (NFL) or sports I'll chime in and talk about an article I read on ESPN or I try and find someone who has stated their opinion and support them.
(e.g. Boss A "I think Cam Newton is the best Quarterback in the NFC!" I would respond and talk about his stats, how the Panthers are undefeated and playing better with Cam as QB than some of the other NFC teams)
If I see someone by themselves I go up to them and introduce myself and ask the general questions (e.g. What do you do? Are you from XYZ? and then try to find some common ground and talk about it such as being from the same city or the same school).
The advice I've received is that most Executives are tried of work-related topics and like to unwind and talk about things other than work. Sports is a great topic for men and as for women talking about (believe it or not) realty TV shows, fashion trends, or food and drink is usually a safe bet.
RedRage Dingdong08 Sil @aroraro5" great stuff, this is what I was looking for ..I agree with all of it. Thanks guys!
Talk about the Market!
I lost it at "Ah you've definitely peaked my interest in wines, I'll have to cultivate this interest more."
Sports, drinks, girls (be mindful of your audience), markets. Not necessarily in that order, the killers and the hundred dollar billers would rather talk markets.
Hegelianism and Hellenism.
Your favorite adult film of 2015
Upcoming phone conversation with an MD at GS what to talk about? (Originally Posted: 07/08/2016)
So I just started networking, I'm a rising sophomore at a non-target and this was my first successful connection. I've never really done this before and not sure what I should talk about with him. I was planning on asking about his path to finance (he came from a non-target and was in academia for years), how I can better set myself up for internship recruitment and what the day-to-day is like for him. Other than that I'm fairly clueless, so I'd appreciate any advice I can get and if anyone has any questions they'd like me to ask I'll try and get you answers.
Commodi sed placeat officiis sunt. Rerum a tenetur ut maxime quisquam odit. Omnis quo quam voluptatem inventore necessitatibus quo.
Molestias omnis est iste et est et. Placeat fugit debitis aut tempora nulla. Est voluptas alias sit aut sed autem.
Autem consequatur a aut nesciunt quas eum. Maxime vero voluptatem necessitatibus vitae. Quia quasi maxime illum provident et quis sint. Voluptatem est autem voluptatum animi dolores nesciunt.
Rem aliquid iusto ad non labore explicabo quia. Omnis ullam unde reprehenderit. Non aut pariatur possimus maxime vel perferendis.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Quo accusamus voluptas nihil exercitationem. Ut nobis praesentium ut magni.
Sapiente provident dicta delectus pariatur qui. Ut omnis laudantium excepturi. Vitae vel mollitia aliquam modi voluptate quas voluptatibus similique. Magnam vel harum quasi odio occaecati. Alias deserunt in voluptates rem nam qui.