Depends on whether I like the person or not. If I really don't like him/her, I'll say banking. In all other scenarios, I just say Finance

had a buddy who was at a BB then went to MM PE, told girls at bars he's a commercial fisherman. said he was extremely successful with this. girls hear all the time "I'm in finance" so when you dress like a banker but say something completely different, it gets their attention.

I tell people I'm in the business Jack Bogle and Motley Fool love to hate.

Depends who is asking.

In a networking or work context, I'll them I'm a "I'm a [title] at [bank name] working mainly in [my coverage area]".

If it's more social with people are aren't in the finance game and aren't in some sort of status seeking competition, it would be something like "I moved here around [period] ago with my wife from Hong Kong. We try to get out to museums and talks a lot, but really we spend more time walking our dogs" - ie avoid putting work into the conversation. I enjoy work, but I'm not self-defined by it and I'd rather not make it a topic of conversation in a social context unless someone is really intent on talking about it.

It depends on who's asking and if they know anything about the business/finance world. I typically start with finance and throw private equity in there if it seems like they may have a clue what I'm talking about. Most people outside of the finance world, or outside of financial centers like NYC, have no idea about the specific functions within finance. You could say that you're in PE, IB, or that you trade CMBS's and they'll ask you what they should do with their Fidelity 401(k).

Or if I want to see if someone's actually listening I say I'm in the white slave trade and dabble in narcotics trafficking.

For someone not too familiar with investment banking, I usually say I'm a real estate agent for companies (since I'm at a firm that mostly does sell-side M&A). And that we sometimes do work to help people find the perfect home (or company) for their specific needs.

I have a bunch of sweatshops in the Philippines; you should see those kids make those hats.

I find myself downplaying things as much as possible. I am straightforward with other people in the industry, but I will usually tell white-collar types something along the lines of "I work in investments", and everyone else that "I'm an analyst" or "I do research".

I always told girls I was a drummer in a metal band. I could never prove it cause there wasn't a drum kit around so it usually worked, until I was provoked on stage to do drums with a live karaoke band one night, then I just pretended to black out and not know what was going on...

I tell girls I'm a freelance photo journalist... 60% of the time, it works everytime.

"I'm a little finance bitch."

I tell people that I'm proficient in Excel

Trailer park supervisor

Amateur pimp but I am looking to become more serious

stoplight repairman, hanger bender, used light bulb salesman

The guy that raises cats specifically for cat ladies to purchase.

"Financial consulting" and then say that I help their pensions/endowments etc pick (or not pick) investment funds. If they dig a little deeper, I give them the example that in my area, lots of pensions have teams of 1-4 to cover PE globally and that there are thousands of funds to choose from, all of them know they are understaffed and so chase them, hence they hire my company to help them out. That's usually sufficient.

It is really difficult to explain what's "fixed income portfolio manager". I just say that I work for a bank.

That I am in the beer/wine profession (b/c I do own a beer/wine store). It is an honest answer but it does provoke many questions and inquires.

Not me, but a good friend is a cop. He tells everyone that he's in "waste management".

What do you do? Me: 'I drink. Pour me a stiff one my good man.'

My answer is always the name no matter who asks me: "I work in the financial services industry"

It makes absolutely no difference if the person asking me is the doorman or the chairman.

Before you protest, I've actually been in a situation where a chairman/CEO of a major firm asked me this question. It was at a black-tie gala dinner, and my mother wasn't able to attend so my father invited me as his +1 at the last minute. Since my father was co-chair of the gala, we were seated at the "featured" table that had a bunch of famous people and luminaries such as Professor Stiglitz.

The person seated on my right was the founder, chairman and CEO of a major investment firm. I shook his hand and introduced myself when I first sat down, but otherwise he ignored me for most of the dinner, speaking to the person who was on his immediate right.

Eventually, though, he turned over my way and asked me what I do.

Short and sweet: "I work in the financial services industry"

Chairman: "Which firm?"

Me: [-insert company name here-]

I kept it short and sweet. No reason to go into specifics such as department, product group/industry coverage, my specific role, etc.

This is someone whose position in life is so far removed from my own that there is no way he could relate to or be interested in anything I had to say.

The same holds true for anyone else. If they press further after my initial answer, then I will them the name of the firm I work at, but I never go into specifics (e.g. department, product group, title, etc.) unless they ask.

Most people don't really want to know or care where you work. It's just an easy way to break the ice or make small talk.

accountant

There's a website building company located in Jacksonville, FL called Hashrocket that lets their employees create their own titles. I've seen them have titles such as "Fungineer", "Rocket Surgeon", "Sharknado Preparedness Expert". Stuff like that. Pretty interesting.

"I'm a trader - stock, marbles, bonds, Beanie Babies, etc..."

They then chuckle and tell me about some Beanie Baby their aunt bought thinking she was going to get rich. Seems everybody has an aunt that thought the same thing. Usually that derails their normal follow up question of "Should I buy Apple?"

I use to be honest with people and tell them I was in banking (blah blah blah) it just got so boring doing it... so now I tell people this: "I am a blimp operator for the Yankee Stadium Blimp... and I studied Meteorology to predict if the blimp could get hit by cyclones while in air..." I have never seen people's eyes light up so much... idiots, I don't think I've ever seen a Yankee Stadium Blimp...and I have never seen a cyclone in New York City...

For the record.. I once told a chic at some east village bar that i was the above and took her home for the night... we got so deep into blimp operations that I forgot to ask her what she did cause she was so into me... after we hooked up and she texted me the next day around 9pm I looked her up on LinkedIn.. turned out she was an Exotic Derivs trader at JPM.. everything after that went terribly.. especially since she thought I was the most uninteresting person ever who also worked for a bank...

I tell girls Finance, but in Los Angeles, they just ignore you if you say anything other than Entertainment.

I tell people I work in acquisitions for a real estate investment fund focused on large CRE deals in core markets. The follow up comments/questions I get are about them thinking about buying an investment home and renting it out and what my thoughts are on it.

Outside of professional settings, I tell people I'm a recovering musician and record producer, because telling anyone outside of finance that I'm in finance usually ends the conversation right there.

Professional mountain guide impresses every time. Note that this works better on the west coast :)

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I normally respond with finance, but in LA it is not much of a big deal as someone mentioned. I have been meaning to change my response to pan-handler or trust fund baby when I am out at bars/clubs

Professional gambler. Recovering stunt double.

I work at GS intl. in London and sell MBS's to widowed ladies with young children.

As alot of people have said, it typically varies depending on the person I am speaking with...but it usually ends up being something like "I work for a company that helps business owners buy, sell and grow companies." Or "I work for a financial services firm that seeks to solve complex problems."

I say.. I live off the land, simple lifestyle.

i work at a preftigious firm on wall street