Who made you you?

Hello monkeys, wanted to talk about something other than fashion, race, politics, and sex. Probably will get 3 comments, but what the hell, right?

Wanted you all to share a little bit about a few people who you think had they not been in your life, you would not be the person you are today (either good or bad). Obviously most people will think family, but I want you to go deeper than that, think outside the box.

For me, my mom's ex husband was a big influence on me, but not for the good. Observing his behavior was a great "what not to do" in life. For the record, this was her 2nd marriage, not my biological father. He was an alcoholic, a smoker, constant complainer, and always played the victim. He taught me that no amount of substance can cover up a failed life, complaining about yourself and your circumstances gets you nowhere, and also that aggression is no way to parent.

Aside from him, probably the 2 biggest non-blood relatives who were influences on me were Stephen Covey & Shawn Achor. Though I've only met Shawn (Stephen passed many years ago), their teachings have taught me to be annoyingly positive & optimistic, as a result I've had a great quality of life since my early 20's. I've tried to live by the mantra that there's no sense in worrying: if you can control something, change it. If you can't control something, accept it and move on, no sense in worrying about it. Sure I could bitch and moan about all of the things that go wrong on a day to day basis, but to this day I couldn't tell you how many times my computer crashed in 2010, how many times I was stuck in traffic last month, or how many times I had a bad day last October. In the end, what matters is the relationships you forge, the memories you make, and the experiences you live that define who you are. Since I learned to live my life with drive but free of worry, I've been immensely happy, and I don't think I'd be that way had I not read Shawn & Stephen.

Have at it monkeys!

 
Best Response

Interesting thread, thanks for starting it.

I think the people who have had the biggest influence in my life so far (when I really think about it) have been my older brother, my father, and one of my brother's friends.

My older brother kind of just set a standard- he had perfect grades, a hot girl friend, smoked a ton of weed, and ended up having some elite top secret job in the Marines, based in Hawaii. He did whatever he wanted the entire time, and it paid off: he owns and rents out a house, has a few nice cars, and essentially works from home in the mountains of Oahu. Throughout my teens and early 20's, I had idolized him, and was constantly compared to him. So I followed suit- basically decided that I didn't care what people thought, and that I would be successful on my own path.

My father used to wake me up at 5am every morning by yelling "march!" and has this hardass attitude where "if you're not early, you're late," "lunch is for pussies," basically fuck anything that's not hard work. I used to resent it, but now see how it has shaped me. Now I'm the hardass who gets to work before people who live five minutes away when I live three hours away, and have senior people shitting their pants. I don't think I would want it any other way: in a world that is becoming increasingly soft, I was cold-forged. I attribute this to my father, and he would think I was a pussy if I ever mentioned it.

"My brother's friend" is actually the first person I thought of. When I was in 6th grade, I was starting to get into skateboarding, and would watch videos and stuff. One time this friend was over and recognized a song in a video- he asked if I liked it and I said I did. So the next day my brother came home with a burned CD with a bunch of punk and hardcore on it, and I was hooked. Essentially by the time I was in 7th grade, I was reading about Crass and the Dead Kennedys, listening to crust punk, and basically being a little asshole. I feel like by introducing me to this world, and an entirely different point of view so early, I was completely set on a different path. I don't want to know how I would have turned out if I had never gotten that CD. I spent my formative years skateboarding, being offensive, openly questioning authority, and getting good grades as a "fuck you" to everyone. This aversion to authority has ended up shaping who I am and what I believe in.

"That dude is so haole, he don't even have any breath left."
 
FeelingMean:

Interesting thread, thanks for starting it.

I think the people who have had the biggest influence in my life so far (when I really think about it) have been my older brother, my father, and one of my brother's friends.

My older brother kind of just set a standard- he had perfect grades, a hot girl friend, smoked a ton of weed, and ended up having some elite top secret job in the Marines, based in Hawaii. He did whatever he wanted the entire time, and it paid off: he owns and rents out a house, has a few nice cars, and essentially works from home in the mountains of Oahu. Throughout my teens and early 20's, I had idolized him, and was constantly compared to him. So I followed suit- basically decided that I didn't care what people thought, and that I would be successful on my own path.

My father used to wake me up at 5am every morning by yelling "march!" and has this hardass attitude where "if you're not early, you're late," "lunch is for pussies," basically fuck anything that's not hard work. I used to resent it, but now see how it has shaped me. Now I'm the hardass who gets to work before people who live five minutes away when I live three hours away, and have senior people shitting their pants. I don't think I would want it any other way: in a world that is becoming increasingly soft, I was cold-forged. I attribute this to my father, and he would think I was a pussy if I ever mentioned it.

"My brother's friend" is actually the first person I thought of. When I was in 6th grade, I was starting to get into skateboarding, and would watch videos and stuff. One time this friend was over and recognized a song in a video- he asked if I liked it and I said I did. So the next day my brother came home with a burned CD with a bunch of punk and hardcore on it, and I was hooked. Essentially by the time I was in 7th grade, I was reading about Crass and the Dead Kennedys, listening to crust punk, and basically being a little asshole. I feel like by introducing me to this world, and an entirely different point of view so early, I was completely set on a different path. I don't want to know how I would have turned out if I had never gotten that CD. I spent my formative years skateboarding, being offensive, openly questioning authority, and getting good grades as a "fuck you" to everyone. This aversion to authority has ended up shaping who I am and what I believe in.

Why do you work 3 hours away from where you live? Seems very inconvenient...

 

My parents had a huge influence on me. I am fortunate enough to have great relationships with them and they've both been very successful in their own rights. It makes me sad when I see my friends who still have a "parent" relationship instead of a friendship that can convert into parenting when needed.

btw - I commented so you had more than 3 comments.

 

I'm starting to build a friendship style relationship with my father too. My mother passed away when I was 15, but I often wonder lately what she was like. I knew her as a parent solely. Only these last few years have I really gotten to my father, as we built somewhat of a friendship. He's a great human being.

 

family influence was pretty important for me to get where I am now, in a good way

work ethic / academics from grandfather (whitehouse) and uncle (leading psychiatrist) which created an interesting contrast to my parents and brother who are all artists.

discipline - my father

how to have fun - my mom and brother, friends old and new

travel spirit from another uncle (missionary who has lived in latam for ~15 years) and the way i was raised (mom lived in france for a couple years just before i was born) + all the travel friends i've made over the last few years

to follow my own path.... mom, brother, uncle #2, my favorite college professor who taught me to always question the commonsense view of things - to zig when others zag, several college friends, two long term ex gfs at different stages

Since started working with Patrick 3 years ago have learned countless things in regards to business, work ethic, strategy, could go on and on. WSO has of course had a strong influence too :-)

dating/women... a roommate i had from new zealand, ~35 y/o guy, ex finance guy, was traveling the world living of rental income and having the time of his life

what else... several bloggers/podcasts that come to mind, tim ferriss and joe rogan among others

most interesting conversation over the last year... (even though i don't remember 100% of what was said), @"Edmundo Braverman" :-)

WSO Content & Social Media. Follow us: Linkedin, IG, Facebook, Twitter.
 

Women have always played a big role in my life. My mother has always been close, as has my cousin (who I've known since I was an infant). They've kept me grounded through some of my most arrogant episodes and have always been there during times I needed help. Every girl I dated has left some kind of mark as well. It was one of them in particular who pushed me to pursue a career in finance.

There are others: my 7th grade teacher who always said "learn to laugh at yourself"; an old friend who always followed rules to get high grades and please people, from whom I learned that I would never be happy until I did things my way; a roommate from college who went from a 2-year sabbatical in Kazakhstan to making $100K in Silicon Valley without the non-target degree, from whom I learned (thoroughly) that absolutely anything is possible if you will it into existence.

Like many people here, I have many sources of inspiration. I'm actually curious to know what someone like Patrick would respond with since he's got an interesting story (from Wharton to WSO). @"WallStreetOasis.com"?

in it 2 win it
 

For me, it's not any one person: the town I grew up in had almost as much influence on me as my parents/family. The postman, the biker next door, the pastor, the old lady down the block....these people influenced me over the course of my life in ways that I realize all these years later. It was an interesting place: bigger than a focused 'community' but definitely not an impersonal large city, somewhere right in between. I still go back to visit all the time, to say hello to family and friends. The best part was the easy access to lots of other places: NYC, the shore, forests, parks, malls, airports, it was easy to just get out and do something if you got bored. Some years I never left the borders of the town, other years I never even set foot in it....but any time I go back I will run into a familiar face.

For now though, I want to see more of the world.

Get busy living
 

It's funny. I really like this question, but when I try to think of an answer I find that I actually hate this question. I don't truly know who has shaped me. I could give the obvious answer and say my parents, but who hasn't been shaped by them? Even then, they have only affected certain aspects of my values and personality. When I actually think about it, I remember that when I was in 5th grade I just came to this conclusion that I wouldn't be shaped by others and that I would be the master of my own destiny. I think I took it too far when I was younger, but when I look back at my life up to today I find that my mantra has stemmed from that conclusion I had years ago. I've always lived by the idea that I must be true to myself in everything that I do.

 

Great thread. This is the sort of stuff I hope to see on WSO more often. I'd say apart from my family, my biggest influences in life have been - Richard Dawkins, Roger Federer and Phil Jackson. Before I heard about Dawkins a year or two ago, I concurred with several of his ideas but I was never able to put them in words concisely or as cogently as he does. Getting introduced to his work and his ideas helped me align my views on several important things and gave me a lot more clarity.

Federer has helped me understand that regardless of the talent you have in this world, you need to work incredibly hard to get to and to stay at the top. At the same time, he's done a remarkable job along with Nadal and Djokovic of being ambassadors for the sport of tennis around the world and I admire his calm and collected demeanor on court (without any let up in terms of competitiveness)

Lastly, Phil Jackson helped me align my views on success and defeat when I read his book. He outlines several great strategies to deal with life and sport in that book and they really resonated within me. His inclination towards a Zen Buddhism like lifestyle is something that I find particularly attractive. Lastly, he was a master at bringing people together and leading them towards a common goal. Listening to his anecdotes about guiding extremely competitive and zealous people towards harmony and cohesion was just pure gold.

 

I grew up in Georgia and spent most of my life there. It wasn't until I learned Japanese and left the country that I actually figured out what I wanted to do. Learning the language and moving to Tokyo was probably the biggest life changing event that has ever occurred in my life, and it brought a huge amount of opportunity. My childhood friend who is still like a brother to me was actually the one that got me into learning Japanese, so I would credit him for being a massive influence on how my life has shaped up so far. Also, seeing my oldest brother fail his classes in college over and over, losing so many opportunities, and having to resort to the military made me realize how important doing well in school is. As the saying goes, "A wise man learns from other's mistakes."

 

I have had some major influences in my life, mostly from my family. I had a cousin who was my age that committed suicide when we were 15. She taught me to value life more and to not take anything for granted.

My parents separated when I was 14, and I now know that my dad has been dealing with PTSD for the past 10 years. Being a police officer, he has seen some horrific things. With having a dad with PTSD, he has major mood swings and does not show emotion that well, along with countless other problems. He did teach me things like having a great work ethic, but I now know what kind of father I want to be to my future children.

My mom and my grandparents (her parents) are very giving and rarely think about themselves. I learned from them to put others before yourself. There are many other influences in my life, but these were the most influential.

 

It seems as though there's a few common trends among these characters. Having the right combination of influences early on can translate to motivation down the road. I see these influencers falling into one of two categories: the people worth emulating and then those who represent the rival. There's nothing that lights a fire in me more than being the underdog. I always try to turn those experiences where I got "burned" and turn it into ammunition. The person worth proving wrong can be just as important as the role model.

 

true, but I'd argue that it's your reaction to the person that makes all of the difference. Think about this, there are still kids who were born on third base (all the right connections, right schools, etc) but still end up getting picked off before they score. on the opposite side of that, my mom's ex husband has a son who has a huge drug problem and is just a royal mess. you can have the right situation in front of you, but depending on how you interpret it, it will lead to very different outcomes. I think that had I not used my experiences as motivation I wouldn't be where I am (not a BSD by any means, but I'm doing OK), I could have just as easily dropped out of high school like so many others who had a shitty stepdad. @"FeelingMean" could have resented his father and rebelled such that he did nothing with his life (assuming you're a guy), but instead he used it as motivation. I started this thread so each of you would have some deep thought and think about who outside of your bloodline has made you who you are, for good or for ill. for me, it's a very enlightening exercise, and gave me perspective, so I wanted to share.

 

Grandparents without a doubt. My younger brother and I were pretty much raised by them while my mom finished college (upon graduation, she worked with a large NGO as required by her contract). Dad was a pathetic excuse of a father so my grandfather filled that void like a champion. He was a refugee who had been taught about life in the most unimaginable way possible. Family and education were at the heart of everything. At the same time, for an extremely caring man, I was instilled with a sense of competition, something he depended on to survive as a kid.

My mom was ever present though. Every weekend and day off was spent with me. When her job finished, we decided to move so she could get better opportunities elsewhere but nothing was ever permanent. She was a rock though. By the time I was 14, our fortunes changed for the better because of her unrelenting work ethic. I sometimes take a step back and just put things in perspective.

 

At work, two people influenced me more than anyone else. Lew Glucksman was a trader turned CEO and he is the person I molded my career around. Brash, smart, and a leader....he's everything you'd want to be. Except, he had a bit of a temper that was far from hidden. I'm just glad he died before Lehman went under because that event would have killed him.

The other person is Joe Gregory, who eventually became our President. Joe had a soft side and was very much a people person, unlike many in this industry. Believe it or not, I was not always a people person and I credit Joe for helping me make that transition.

 

Everyone around me growing up (family and friends) were an example of what not to do and follow. My dad was/is a drug addict, my brother is a bum and my extended family were all snakes. Also, I lived is a 'ghetto' area and so most people there was just stealing or jobless. Getting into a target is what really shaped my career prospects. I went from just wanting to get into uni to realising all the options available to me, researching them and now networking my ass off to achieve something. This did take a while though, as throughout my 1st year I didn't care much for career-stuff (however this is probably due to illness, death and injuries).
So far, I have to say there has only been 1 guy who helped me realise what I am and could be. I met a guy from the US (I'm in the UK) who was a college dropout but started 2 $20m+ businesses. He somehow saw something in me and realised i'm really entrepreneurial so has been helping me and i'm actually going to work with him on a new start-up of his.

 
timpson:

Everyone around me growing up (family and friends) were an example of what not to do and follow.

Was going to post this but the thread had such a positive vibe going I didn't want to ruin it :) I find that I've had far more bad influences and negative circumstances influence and shape me rather than positive ones. Not sure if that's even necessarily a bad thing or not. I'm going to sound like a fucking weirdo but I think the thing that shaped me the most was the internet. Without sites like College Confidential and WSO I would've been pretty clueless when it comes to academics and career paths - huge part of why I try to give back on here as much as I can. College also had a massive impact on me and really brought me "into my own."
 

bprofessor, you talked about Covey etc. as making you annoyingly motivated. I'm totally into it-- I'd much rather be kind of a tool about motivation while getting stuff done than be nasty & cynical & self-blaming all day.

I've recently started reading "The Greatest Salesman" O.G Mandino, & find it puts me in a positive mood the rest of the day, like "let's crush life". (M. McConnaughey credits it with changing his life in college, giving him the balls & drive to switch majors, go for acting without fear.)

Growing up, my biological father (very smart so I'm thankful for my genes) was a hardcore drug addict. This motivated me to stay away from drugs and watch my drinking.

I was essentially adopted by my friend's dad. Successful Dr., self-made (lived dirt poor in med school off beanie weenies in a roach-filled apt.). He always instilled in my a sense of pragmatism & hard work. Never skate over the edge.

Awesome thread topic.

"Where is Knight?"
 

What an awesome thread – we need more of these!

I remember my first job (it was in retail) and my manager had the largest impact on me. He used to bust his ass off day in and day out making crap money. Working there was when I made a promise to myself that money was never going to be an issue for me.

The person that has motivated me the most is a professor named Randy Pausch (I never had him as a prof). He taught at Carnegie Melon University, where they have a tradition for the professors to do one “last lecture” on a subject of their choice before they depart from the school.

Long story short, the guy had cancer and spoke about how to lead your life – truly inspiring and changed my outlook on life. You can find the video on youtube. Left some quotes from the talk below too.

“Time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think.”

“The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. They’re there to stop the other people - not you.”

“It's not about how to achieve your dreams, it's about how to lead your life, ... If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.”

 

First and foremost my father, because he taught me responsibility, duty, and the warrior ethos without realizing he was teaching me all those things.

Jim Saunders, who taught me the beauty and the power of the written word.

Dave Garner, my Gunnery Sergeant in the first Gulf War, who taught me more about management and execution than I could have ever learned in any business school. This is a guy who woke up every morning knowing that in order to do his job people were going to die that day, and part of his job was ensuring that none of those people were his people. It's appropriate to point out this particular weekend that he wasn't always successful in that regard, and watching him cope with that had a major influence on the way I've coped with failure in its various forms ever since.

Tony Robbins. That might make you laugh, but he was actually a major influence. He and I had offices across the parking lot from each other for a little over two years, and I got to know him a bit and got to know his crew really well. He got me interested in NLP and human performance, and is probably responsible for more of my financial success (at least as it pertained to my career in finance) than any other single person. He also warned me of the dangers of living an incongruent life, which is why I no longer have a career in finance.

In a lot of ways @"WallStreetOasis.com". Watching Patrick build this incredible community has been an inspiration to me and something I've been very proud to be a part of. I have so much hope for the future of Wall Street thanks to this community, and I really expect the business to evolve over the coming decades because of you guys. Finance can absolutely be a tool for the betterment of all humanity (just ask Felix Rohatyn), and I think we're witnessing a shift from the era of unchecked greed back to an environment of managing to value (a slow shift, to be sure, but a shift nonetheless).

Steve Jobs. As much as I detest the company he created in its current iteration, he showed me as a young boy what was possible with computers and how cool it was to start a company in your garage. To this day I remember how stunned I was when he was thrown out of his own company by John Sculley, whom I recognized even then for the corporate hack that he was. I think that was my first inkling that conservative old-economy business guys didn't "get it" and that they were going to have their asses handed to them by the kids who mastered the technologies they couldn't understand. Recognizing the democratization of opportunity that technology would bring gave a street kid like me all the inspiration I needed to turn my nose up at the safe job I was offered at the Post Office. Just imagine that for a minute...

Vic Niederhoffer. It's hard for me to even write that, but if I'm being honest he was a huge influence on my mindset about trading.

Steve Blank and Eric Ries. Eric for his philosophy and Steve for his methodology.

I could go on and on, but those are the major influences. And yes @"AndyLouis", even you were a major influence because you introduced me to the tank which has changed my life.

 

Really enjoyed reading your inspirations. All great people. I had the chance to attend one of Tony's seminars in Sun Valley and it was very enlightening. I was borderline too young at the time to appreciate it, but it was such an amazing experience. It really demonstrated to me how important it is to surround yourself with intelligent and driven people.

 

Aside from my parents who you know.. 'made me'... grossssss They raised me to be a great human being. They attended every single game, match, concert, everything that I was involved in. Without them, I would 100% not be the person that I am today.

A teacher in high school. I was always a smart kid, that put forth limited effort but still scored in the top of the class. No matter how many A's I got she was always disappointed in me. I always got what I wanted and she knew it. It wasn't due to me being a rich kid, or anything like that, but it was just how it was. I chalk it up to not being at an amazing school academically in the state. The only time I ever put any effort was in sports. I was an All-state goalie in soccer, and a district champion with multiple tournament wins in tennis. (No where near All state because I didn't grow up with a tennis court in my back yard like the people I played against, but I did Ace the #1 player in the state. So I had that going for me.) For after high school I was accepted to a top 50 engineering schools in the country without even applying. I don't know how that works, all I know is that I received welcome packets with shirts and stuff saying congratulations and welcome and yada yada yada. I went to the school that I wanted to go to and during a break, I went and visited her and she said one sentence during the visit that changed everything. "You could be so much more successful if you actually tried". Ever since then I have been challenging myself way more and putting myself out there when I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

My grandma taught me many things. She was a very strict lady if she needed to be but was also the sweetest most kind hearted woman in the world. She was the type of person that could yell at you and put you in your place without ever raising her voice or saying a swear word. I've actually only ever heard her swear once and it was when she dropped something and it broke. The biggest thing that she taught me was "if you have the opportunity, take it". An example being, she adopted her daughters son when he was born due too a whole bunch of stuff and in high school they were doing a class trip to England. My grandparents aren't wealthy so they didn't have a few thousand dollars to drop on a trip like that. But without hesitation they pulled out some money from the LoE on their house just so he could go because who knows if he would ever get an opportunity like this again. (side bar, he won't, because he's pretty much the failure of my family. Well him and my uncle compete for it even though they were both raised in the best way possible, and I know this, because my grandma raised me too. My parents worked every day so until they got home I was with my grandma)

Last but not least... My Fiance. Before I started dating her, I was never really close to my family. I mean, I spent time with them every once and a while, but I was a person that was always gone, out with their friends, working, school, sports, etc. Sometimes I would go days without even coming home, and my parents really wouldn't know where I was but in my mind, it was ok. I was a good kid, I wasn't doing drugs, or anything illegal so I figured they had nothing to worry about. When I started dating my fiance though, her whole family was closer than any family I've ever seen before. They all are eachothers best friends and I love it. When I first moved away to college I think I might have called my parents once a month maybe. Now I make sure to call at least once a week, minimally, and I talk to them even more often through email/texting. I'm closer now to my family than ever, and I live further away. Without her, that would likely never have happened.

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier
 

It really is amazing how you reevaluate your relationships when you see the other side of the coin. He siblings are now my brothers and sisters, not in a we're getting married brother and sister in law type of way, but I am so close with them that even before I proposed they were family to me. Same thing with her parents. True story: My fiance's mom cried out of happiness/proud of me/excitement/joy/etc. when I was walking during my undergrad graduation. My mom didn't!

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier
 

I'm a self-made man. Which is not saying much at all at this point in life. My mom should have beaten me. Seriously.

heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 

Hey guys, sorry about the delay - been wanting to write a comment in here...

Anyway, I think stating the obvious is that my parents had a huge influence on me...not necessarily by what they did, but by what they didn't do and the example they set. Both of them work extremely hard and love their careers and always have...when you see your parents working 14-16 hour days and not making a big deal about it, I think over the years it makes an impression on you that in order to succeed in this world, you usually have to make sacrifices.

My mother's story in particular has really left an impression on me. As an immigrant from Colombia at the age of 12 (to New Orleans) with little knowledge of English, my grandmother (don't mess with her) pushed my mom into the 8th grade since there was no room left in 7th grade (even though the staff at the school suggested she start in 6th). she was forced to learn English on the fly and did. Now she can speak and write about 100x better than I can....in both spanish and english.

That pretty much sums up the driving force my mom's family had behind it. :-) She didn't look back, ended up graduating college at 16 (Tulane), got her masters and then phd at harvard. After a lengthy teaching and leadership career at Andover (Head of all Languages, etc), she was recruited and still serves as Head of School at Deerfield Academy.

So as you can imagine, education was always a top priority in my house, as was becoming closer to God and developing my faith (not easy). My father has always been a solid foundation and always challenges me in that sense. Overall, the moral foundation that my parents provided was excellent. They are brutally honest and overall incredible role models.

I also have my sister to thank as she dramatically increased the freedom I had. By the time my parents were done trying to stop her partying, I think they had little energy to be strict with me. while that's kind of funny, i honestly think this let me develop a great sense of independence and responsibility for myself.

Saying all of this, I don't think you can be given a much better situation than what I had growing up. Very little chance I make it into Andover without my mom working there at the time (ended up doing well there) and very little chance I make it to Williams. Privileged and spoiled yes, but at least I was not / am not lazy.

That educational foundation and the friends I developed along the way were also a huge influence on me. I would say that since I am a nerd myself, I always got along best with other nerds - two of my long time best friends went to MIT and I consider them the smartest people I know -- being close to them was a constant reminder that while I may be "sharp", I was nowhere near a lot of these kids.

Coming to grips with your mental inferiority and realization that there is always someone "better" than you is a great lesson to learn early in life. I think the personality I inherited from my grandfather (whatever and relaxed to a fault) helped me deal with that reality just fine... I think some of the Type As at top schools have a mental breakdown with the first A- they get...not healthy.

Anyway, besides my immediate family and closest friends,I think Tim Ferris (4 hour work week) and Eric Reis (lean start-up) have been the most influential in how I run WSO day to day and think about start-ups/business in general. I think the frameworks and tactics are great for people like me who sometimes can lose focus of the right goals. I have the opposite of ADD...I can focus and lose track of time for ~5+hrs at a time and forget to eat...while this is great for getting shit done, it can also lead me to waste a ton of time executing and not enough time giving thoughtful consideration to how it will impact everything.

anyway, I think now that I've written a book / autobiography, will leave it there :-)

and @"Edmundo Braverman", thanks for the shout out...it's been a wild and humbling ride! You have given the community countless bits of wisdom over the years, so thank you. (now maybe one of these years we can get you to the WSO conference once you're back in the states! ;-)

 

Great thread, really enjoy reading everyone's responses.

I guess maybe I don't have the typical response, but what is the typical response.

I can't honestly say my family has had much influence, other than showing me what I don't want to be. I realize that sounds extremely negative, but I don't think it is. I think it's just as important to go through life and figure out who and what you don't want to be almost more so than the opposite.

I try to take something away from almost every personal relationship I have in life, I think you must. Every person in this world knows something you don't...and even if you learn only one thing, you're better off than you were before. I think that we have to live like this, it's how we're meant to be. So even people I only meet in passing I try to take something away from. The longer or deeper the relationship, the more I try to take away. I can honestly say that I have one ex-girlfriend who pushed me to be a better person more than I was willing to at the time, and that really changed my life. I regret losing her more than anything but if I hadn't, I wouldn't have learned anything about myself. And that's something you can't really choose to learn, it just comes with experience.

There was one professor I had in school who I looked up to more than I think any other that I had. He worked in the philosophy department, but was absolutely not the type of person you'd imagine would hold that position. He wore jeans and a denim shirt or some other unassuming outfit every day to work. He spoke plainly, in fact if you ran into this guy you'd think he was a farmer or maybe an old-school floor trader. He didn't fuck around, he was very frank. I had him for two classes, and both times he had a huge impact on me. He asked questions that were direct, but required very deep and logical thought. And if you tried to BS the answer he'd call you out right away and force you to do a better job of explaining yourself. I have always considered myself someone who tries to find the logic and truth in every situation, however learning from him pushed that to a whole new level for me. I disagreed with some of his viewpoints, but I learned more trying to defend mine to him than I ever did speaking with people who agree with me. I still credit him for teaching me how to think properly.

All my friends have been instrumental in teaching me something at some point, and so they're invaluable to me. They're all very different from myself, and many are very different from each other. I think this is important as well, you don't learn anything by surrounding yourself with people who are just like you.

I can't tell if I feel guilty about this or not..but I even try to take away things that I see in fictional characters that I'd like to emulate. I don't think this is a bad thing...I try to conduct myself in a way that I look up to, I try to be a person that I'd admire if I ran into him on the street. I try to emulate the positives and get rid of the negatives. I think it's important to realize how you can isolate your negative traits, and stomp them out when you see yourself falling into those traps. I guess you can learn this from just about anyone...I tend to notice flaws in others that I have myself very strongly, and it usually feels like I'm looking in a mirror. Forces me to try to improve myself.

Of course, everything I've read (including lots of posts on this site) has had a significant impact on my life. Wouldn't be where I was if I couldn't read (and to some extent, write) the way I can.

"When you stop striving for perfection, you might as well be dead."
 

This was a interesting thread. I would have to say every person that has been in my life for more than 3 months have played some significance in the person I am today. I'm currently 22 years of age and I believe that its more in life I need to experience, but what I have learned thus far is valuable. More importantly, as humans we all learn from one another so its a blessing for me to experience everything I have experienced. Time is valuable and very helpful....

 

This was a great read. Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences.

A person outside of my family who had a big influence on me is a high school math teacher. I was never good at the subject or interested in it until I took his course. Most people, including myself thought of him as excessively strict. He gave ten times more homework than any other teacher I've ever had, but it was his passion for the subject that really got through to me. He was so enthusiastic about what he was teaching that it eventually rubbed off on me. I didn't strive to become a mathematician or anything after his class, but the experience opened my mind to a more rigorous way of thinking and that is something that served me well ever since.

 

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