Why is my resume not working? Please annihilate my resume

Something about this resume isn't working. Could you please slap some sense into it?

Attachment Size
Two Page Resume for feedback.pdf 26.08 KB 26.08 KB
 
Best Response

Big error: It's a two-page resume. That's what's not working.

Other things: - Remove everything from before college. What you did in high school is pretty irrelevant at this stage. Things like being a soccer referee do not need to be in your work experiences. Put soccer in your interests if you really think it's important. - Lots of spelling and other attention-to-detail errors. You spell it "co-ordinated" in one bullet point and then "coordinated" in the following one. Consistency is key. - Any job that has only one bullet point is either a) not important, or b) not being explained enough - Needs more results-driven language and less "HR description of job responsibilities" style writing - Explain your acronyms. What's an NGLC? or a APIRG? People reading your resume may not have the slightest clue. - Skills, Activities, Interests section needs some organization. What is your second bullet... activities? or awards? - Lots of orphaned words (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Widows_and_orphans). So anything that is one word on a line by itself? Remove it. Either shorten your description or write more to fill up the space. It's grating on the eyes. Example would be the word "experience" under Home Depot or "Business" in your relevant coursework.

Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 

Good Lord this resume is bad. I mean, it's awful. One of the worst I've seen in form and function (not in content).

  • 1 page, for God's sake. You aren't as qualified as you think you are. I have 8 years of relevant work experience and my resume is 1 and a quarter pages; 1 page if I'm really, really good.
  • You have grammar errors EVERYWHERE. Your most relevant work experience, for example, says "Corporate Accounting Assistant,"… That's a comma you have there. Geesh. Your very last sentence of your resume, for example, starts with a lower case letter.
  • You label your finance major. No need to list relevant coursework.
  • You have hardly been at any job for more than 10 minutes. Remove the Home Depot, Vault Security, and referee jobs. Increase your Serving Communities job description with action items and/or accomplishments. I'm stunned at how little is put there.
  • Anything from high school should be eliminated.
  • Red Cross camp experience needs to go.
  • Get rid of your sentence that begins with "Toastmasters". Frankly, I'd probably only keep the actual hard skills (first line). Those are really nice skills and they are buried in a sea of writing.
  • What the crap is NGLC and APIRG? I'd definitely remove at least APIRG. If you keep NGLC then at least use the organization's name. IF you keep it. I'd also lean toward removing BYOKOB volunteer experience. Web designer and student rep are good ones. I think the rest need to go.

In sum, keep 1) Serving Communities; 2) First City Financial; 3) Save-a-Village; 4) Province Government. All else MUST go. Create a skills section for just your hard skills. The other 2 lines--gone. Eliminate relevant coursework section. Edit the resume for grammar, spelling, consistency. Get resume to 1 page (here's a free tip--increase margins to get to 1 page if you are struggling).

If you do those things, you have a very, very solid resume. As it stands, this may be the worst resume I've ever seen and if I were a hiring manager receiving this I would feel angry that you wasted 15 seconds of my life.

 

MaxWindsliver -- I have seen numerous resumes, and yours is not as bad as some of the above comments may have you believe (relative to many others). You're not at the top of the pile, but I've seen many worse. DC Depository makes some good suggestions that I would agree with.

Re: I'd probably only keep the actual hard skills (first line). Those are really nice skills and they are buried in a sea of writing. This is a GREAT point. Don't make people look for what you're good at. You put it right in front of their face.

Macaroniman has a point, though made in a little bit of a crude fashion. Your second page can be really condensed into a few lines.
There are many jobs here that aren't "value added" You may want to consider removing Home Depot all together (you won't show a gap because of your internship). You can remove referee, student group, APIRG, Red Cross, & High School. You may want to find a generic title and group them into something like: Additional Experience Then just bullet some of the experiences (if you're too attached to get rid of them).

But given your level of experience, you could have it down to one solid page, and it would serve you much better.

-BB http://www.bburkeconsulting.com

 

^Agreed, cut the font size down 1-2 pt, cut out 1/3 of your entries, make at least 2 bullet points for the ones you do have, and then please repost it. It is difficult to make suggestions until we have something closer to the final product to critique.

 

This guy has also not been on WSO for 4 months, so you guys are shouting into the open air here.

Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 

Eligendi eum voluptatibus quo. Voluptates doloribus officia similique vel molestiae. Explicabo omnis delectus voluptates cum rerum. Ullam aspernatur et aut voluptatem eveniet expedita ullam vel.

Aliquid soluta doloremque molestias aut hic illo. Rerum eius et et quidem impedit illo iusto reprehenderit. Voluptatem quia adipisci amet architecto aut qui corporis. Ea distinctio tenetur beatae sed quae sed. Totam aut fugiat doloribus sit. Consequatur dicta tempore aliquam quibusdam id. Amet repudiandae voluptates facilis voluptatem.

Commodi velit dolorum facere animi nihil. Et et assumenda est quo inventore suscipit. Quos eos labore ipsam saepe.

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (145) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
9
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”