Honestly I've been in real world for the last 2 years and it's not like the movie. By the time you finish an 8 hr or more work day your body won't feel good and all you want to do is go home and sleep. How I even make it to the gym 5 days a week is beyond me. Even if you make it to the VP status, models n' bottles gets old real quick. But good luck though.

Greed is Good!
 
Kirosene:

Hello there,
What is the shortest way(Business school, jobs, ...) to have the same life(money,model,girls, coke ...) as the Wolf of Wall street.

Club promoter, brah. Those guys are always "raging," "slaying," and "absolutely killing it." Plus, you get to wear Ed Hardy or Affliction TO WORK. How cool is that? Hella cool. It's hella cool. That's how cool it is.

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
Kirosene:

Man ! you know i'm not looking for the "raging," "slaying," part of the wolf of wall street I want the other one with girls sex & coke.

Yeah...I was being facetious.

Anyhow, if you're already this awful at trolling, you're probably not cut out for the real Wolf of Wall Street lifestyle

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

OK guys I will be more specific here. I don't need advice from honest hard working bankers. I need advice from the real Bankers, the corrupt stock frauder bankers (Private message please if you want to protect identity).

Ps: i'm not Police, FBI, CIA, or any kind of authorities, i'm just looking for informations out of pure curiosity

 
Kirosene:

OK guys I will be more specific here. I don't need advice from honest hard working bankers. I need advice from the real Bankers, the corrupt stock frauder bankers (Private message please if you want to protect identity).

Ps: i'm not Police, FBI, CIA, or any kind of authorities, i'm just looking for informations out of pure curiosity

lmao. bro, start sending this message around linkedin, much better results guaranteed.

 

Serious answer incoming:

If you really want that lifestyle, the methodology is quite straightforward. Ingratiate yourself to wealthy people who know nothing about finance or the markets. Tell them all about your fantastic ways of investing and just spend the money they give you. Continue taking money from people and keep some in reserve in case someone tries to 'redeem'. They'll get their money back with the returns you put on their statements and everyone is happy and you can continue getting more money from other people. That is by far the fastest and most direct way to that lifestyle. You will need 100% confidence and need to be a great salesman. You certainly won't get there by joining a bank as an analyst.

Good luck!

 

Pitch your revolutionary ideas for startups that will disrupt the ways that people have traditionally dealt with fashion, eugenics, and PCP delivery. Brand your companies as FASHIST, Godsy, and dustme.io, respectively. Lie that you went to Harvard. Collect millions, nay, billions from VCs. Become greedy and concurrently launch a Kickstarter campaign to steal from mere plebeians mountains of Bitcoins, just because you CAN. Use 80% of your funding on the aforementioned partying and coke, which will naturally attract whores and models. You are so cool. Cash in the remaining funds to be received as quarters so as to create a coin filled room in the ostentatious style of Uncle Scrooge from Duck Tales. Swim. Wake up one morning to find that there remains but $18.46 in your checking account. Order Tikka masala from Baluchi's—lol, you have, like, JUST enough. Get a few "let's touch base" emails from investors. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Be on the receiving end of a few disappointed sighs, but reemerge from the conference room relatively unscathed. Remember that you have a backup supply of bitcoins and use that to purchase a Winklevoss twin, because YOLO.

Banking's not the way to go, young troll.

 

You want the fastest and easiest way to get the Wolf of Wall Street lifestyle? Buy every possible lottery ticket for a drawling for 1 million dollars.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

Did you watch the movie?

Got fired, make a killing on penny stocks. Met a loyal fat dude, gather sketchy salesmen, make even more killing on penny stocks and blue chips bundle. Voila. Everything will be exponential from there.

In other words, be a salesman so good your clients think you are a prophet.

Fortes fortuna adiuvat.
 

Quam eveniet vitae quae neque dolore. Sapiente esse voluptatem a sapiente. Illum quaerat reprehenderit amet ducimus. Vero sit pariatur quia eos tempore.

Ipsam molestiae quasi est modi. Quibusdam atque sequi repellat est adipisci ipsum reprehenderit. Laboriosam eum quod culpa. Eos error deserunt libero quis.

Ut cumque a sed perspiciatis. Iusto optio sed officia error esse quia. Omnis repellendus cupiditate repellat assumenda odit est. Quas perferendis sit quo a explicabo est adipisci ut.

Voluptatem rerum ad aut dolorem fugit et soluta. Quidem odio suscipit eaque natus at dignissimos.

"He was an idiot! He was a bouncer who got his Series 7" - Josh Brown
 

Nemo dolore molestias et tempore quas accusantium iure. Aliquid dolores aut vel nostrum accusantium. Ut qui aspernatur corrupti architecto animi animi perferendis. Ducimus doloribus pariatur velit ut beatae. Culpa et pariatur non explicabo temporibus. Eveniet excepturi tempora mollitia ab in.

Iste voluptatibus aut eligendi ea sint. Laborum earum eum assumenda rerum qui rerum fugit sit.

Doloremque ea est culpa et pariatur architecto id. Impedit aut est illo eos. Ipsum ex laudantium corrupti ut vero et.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
7
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”