Pretend to be gay to go to JPMorgan event?

So my school which is located in NYC recently sent out an invitation to a program from JPMorgan for sophomores and juniors to apply for.If accepted they would be invited down to the headquarters, shadow employees, network, and attend skill building sessions. It sounds like a great program however the only people allowed to apply are either Hispanic, Black, and Native Americans. The there's another opportunity to apply if you are LGBT, and then another chance to apply if you're a woman. As a white male who likes girls I feel a little slighted here.

Should I pretend to be gay and apply?

 

Why don't you claim 5% black? Go to that one.

Claim bi-sexual? Go to that one.

Claim tranny? Go to that one.

3 shots to succeed? Profit.

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
 

Probably a troll but in any case you should definitely go there as a member of the LGBT community. To practice, you can head out to a gay bar in the West Village the night before to get yourself acclimated with your new open-mindedness. You may think you like girls now but chance is after some experimentations you may discover that you like guys even more (or at least as much).

Too late for second-guessing Too late to go back to sleep.
 
brandon st randy:

Probably a troll but in any case you should definitely go there as a member of the LGBT community. To practice, you can head out to a gay bar in the West Village the night before to get yourself acclimated with your new open-mindedness. You may think you like girls now but chance is after some experimentations you may discover that you like guys even more (or at least as much).

I've seen multiple posts from you now that suggest to me you might actually be Brandon St. Randy.

“Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do”
 

Go the Native American route. I am legally "Native American" because of a tribal vote to extend "membership" if your parents are registered with the tribe. I am about 8% Native but qualify for all the Native grants, benefits, etc.

I have friends in some of my scholarship programs who look white as shit, but also still qualify. A little safer route than black or gay. It's unlikely they would try and trace it back and ask for your tribal ID or #.

 

^Very fucked up, and overall the most fucked over race/people by the US. It's def on my agenda at some point to give back a bunch. And your "Native Americanness" is also referred to blood quantum, usually out of /32, so you want to say "my blood quantum is low, like 3/32." If you need any other info to pass as being Native - if you go that route - PM me. haha this thread is borderline ridiculous

 
Controversial

I count many of my best friends in finance amongst the ranks of the LGBT community, and from what I understand, your strategy has been unsuccessfully deployed more often than not.

From what I understand, these diversity events are often used to sift the opportunistic chaff from the genuinely gay wheat. The recruiters and interviewing staff populating these events to mingle with aspiring applicants can finesse the authenticity of an attendee’s orientation, which are often betrayed in those fraudulent by subtle tells that are discernible only by experienced intuition. Unless you’ve rehearsed your speech, gesticulations, and mannerisms to the fitting standards inquired through their typical line of questioning (which I refuse to disclose on grounds that those genuinely belonging to the LGBT community can effortlessly and frictionlessly answer satisfactorily on the spot), it will be exceedingly difficult to clear the banks’ gaydars.

Moreover, exploiting the financial service sector’s genuine effort of goodwill in welcoming and accepting a historically-excluded, violently-opposed American minority is morally-reprehensible. Concentrate on "becoming the best you [that] you can be” so that you can confidently abandon these Sketchy Schemes.

 
Best Response

You're speaking as if being gay is some sort of ancient martial art that takes 20 years to master. I bet I'd be able to act gayer than Justin Bieber if I was properly incentivized.

I've come across several gay people in my life and to be honest, I had never noticed and most likely would have never found out if they hadn't told me.

 

Genuine Goodwill - give me a break. It's a bunch of pandering nonsense, quite frankly if I was LGBTQ I'd be offended by the bank's pandering.

OP - I get where you're coming from, it's ridiculous that people with a certain sexual orientation are put on a pedestal. After all, it's not a choice, nobody aside from backwoods hicks cares about it, there's nothing courageous about it. The LGBTQ community has every right in this country straight people have. They are just angry that people are indifferent, they just want to be noticed and put on a pedestal. I could give a rat's ass what someone is, just stop pandering and shoving it down everyone's throat.

 

obviously got in through lbgt, doesn't want competition ^

GoldmanBankster:

I count many of my best friends in finance amongst the ranks of the LGBT community, and from what I understand, your strategy has been unsuccessfully deployed more often than not.

From what I understand, these diversity events are often used to sift the opportunistic chaff from the genuinely gay wheat. The recruiters and interviewing staff populating these events to mingle with aspiring applicants can finesse the authenticity of an attendee’s orientation, which are often betrayed in those fraudulent by subtle tells that are discernible only by experienced intuition. Unless you’ve rehearsed your speech, gesticulations, and mannerisms to the fitting standards inquired through their typical line of questioning (which I refuse to disclose on grounds that those genuinely belonging to the LGBT community can effortlessly and frictionlessly answer satisfactorily on the spot), it will be exceedingly difficult to clear the banks’ gaydars.

Moreover, exploiting the financial service sector’s genuine effort of goodwill in welcoming and accepting a historically-excluded, violently-opposed American minority is morally-reprehensible. Concentrate on "becoming the best you [that] you can be” so that you can confidently abandon these Sketchy Schemes.

If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!
 
WalMartShopper:

obviously got in through lbgt, doesn't want competition ^

GoldmanBankster:

I count many of my best friends in finance amongst the ranks of the LGBT community...

Regardless of which team I bat for, I cannot condemn this strategy any stronger. The deception endorsed by the original author rivals the enormity of credentials falsification.

 
GoldmanBankster:
WalMartShopper:

obviously got in through lbgt, doesn't want competition ^

GoldmanBankster:

I count many of my best friends in finance amongst the ranks of the LGBT community...

Regardless of which team I bat for, I cannot condemn this strategy any stronger. The deception endorsed by the original author rivals the enormity of credentials falsification.

Holy shit, relax. You act like he's murdering someone.

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.
 

Not to stir the pot, but wouldn't it be easier to claim being bisexual rather than claiming to be gay/lesbian? At least they couldn't call you out for hitting on the opposite gender (as long as you hit on everyone I guess).

Also curious, isn't "sifting people out" as GoldmanBankster describes discriminatory in nature? As in illegal to do so? I can't imagine even if they assumed you were fooling them on your sexual orientation that actually trying to confirm that orientation would violate various federal laws. Maybe it's hard to prove (like age discrimination) so I'm curious.

 

This would make a decent movie script. The finance equivalent of "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry". OP, if you ultimately got the job, wouldn't you have to keep the act up your whole time there?

 
crackjack:

Not to stir the pot, but wouldn't it be easier to claim being bisexual rather than claiming to be gay/lesbian? At least they couldn't call you out for hitting on the opposite gender (as long as you hit on everyone I guess).

Also curious, isn't "sifting people out" as GoldmanBankster describes discriminatory in nature? As in illegal to do so? I can't imagine even if they assumed you were fooling them on your sexual orientation that actually trying to confirm that orientation would violate various federal laws. Maybe it's hard to prove (like age discrimination) so I'm curious.

No firm, by law, can actively engage in hiring practices that discriminate on the basis of national origin, race, religion, gender, disability or age, but the Equal Employment Opportunity act is a suite of federal laws that outline policies and principles for businesses to abide by in order to actively populate their workforce by the attentive devotion to DIVERSITY. Basically, diversity-driven hiring practices, which, to the best of my understanding, manifest as these LGBT events, are legally-sanctioned practices that facilitate the development of a personal values-oriented, organizational culture, which channels its strength from the varied contributions of a heterogeneous workforce. These policies aren’t a license to hire unqualified applicants; rather, they are guiding principles that can root-out and snuff discriminatory hiring practices.

The point of these LGBT events is to highlight a subset of the population that falls into that categorization, and enhance the firm’s visibility on the demographic texture of applicants it is interested in rounding off its workforce with.

 

you see, I stop taking people seriously when they throw in words just to make a point about how educated they are.

"actively engage" - of course you engage actively, that's straight up redundant "actively populate" - of course you populate actively, that's also straight up redundant "attentive devotion" - when you're devoted to something, it is already implied you're paying attention to it "enhance the firm's visibility on the demographic texture of applicants" - wtf is "demographic texture"

I'm not condemning the author's actions at all, but I think you're trying to enhance the validity of your arguments by throwing in fancy words everywhere, and it's just sounding pedantic

 
crackjack:

Not to stir the pot, but wouldn't it be easier to claim being bisexual rather than claiming to be gay/lesbian? At least they couldn't call you out for hitting on the opposite gender (as long as you hit on everyone I guess).

Also curious, isn't "sifting people out" as GoldmanBankster describes discriminatory in nature? As in illegal to do so? I can't imagine even if they assumed you were fooling them on your sexual orientation that actually trying to confirm that orientation would violate various federal laws. Maybe it's hard to prove (like age discrimination) so I'm curious.

If you are not LGBT and are attending an event under false pretenses of being one, then it is not discriminatory to sift you out. But the gist of what you're saying does make sense. Seems very hard for them to discern what your orientation exactly is, without stepping over some legal line.

In all honesty though, I'm sure that most of the banks have thought of these concerns and probably have taken measures to deal with them accordingly.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

How about claiming that you're Latino/African American or Native American? How would they check that? Your skin color doesn't always show your race and you can get into all these ''diversity'' events easily then. Do you guys know people who have done that?

I also don't understand how your sexuality can affect the outcome of your application. Just like affirmative action it's a disaster for these institutions to attract people based on their skin color and sexuality rather than merit.

 

Not sure if established ethnicity can be surmised from the SSN provided in some applications, but I remember that Colleges request Tribal Affiliation codes for diversity applicants who check the “Native American” box as a means of validating the enhanced consideration that results from your classification. I am unsure whether or not firms adopt a similar means of verification.

 

Common guys everyone knows that diversity in the workplace can be 100% quantified by how many blacks/women/gays are working at a company.

Hiring candidates based on diversity in upbringing/ideas/talents/thought process would just be crazy.

My drinkin' problem left today, she packed up all her bags and walked away.
 

+1 SB. "Diversity of thought or ideas" is simply a BS excuse for all-white or nearly all-white firms to feel more justified in maintaining a decade old, diversity agnostic recruiting process.

 

The problem I have with affirmative action is that it really hurts the talented kids of color in my school. From my experience all the worst students who got to my school through all the scholarships based solely on race (not even income) brought kids that make a bad reputation for other students of color. I know some really talented students who always worked hard and deserve the praise for that but they are treated like shit because people assume that they got in the ''easier'' way based on their race. To me it seems that affirmative action really hurts these individuals. When companies employ a similar strategy I can only imagine how many underqualified people get jobs based solely on their race/sexuality. It seems like being a white or Asian heterosexual man hurts you in the application process to BBs.

 
x.:

You're speaking as if being gay is some sort of ancient martial art that takes 20 years to master. I bet I'd be able to act gayer than Justin Bieber if I was properly incentivized.

If there were ever evidence that you do not know what "acting gay" means, this is it.

"For all the tribulations in our lives, for all the troubles that remain in the world, the decline of violence is an accomplishment we can savor, and an impetus to cherish the forces of civilization and enlightenment that made it possible."
 
NorthSider:
x.:

You're speaking as if being gay is some sort of ancient martial art that takes 20 years to master. I bet I'd be able to act gayer than Justin Bieber if I was properly incentivized.

If there were ever evidence that you do not know what "acting gay" means, this is it.

"I'll suck dick for employment and if the hiring manager doubts me I'll let him watch"

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
Beny23:
It seems like being a white or Asian heterosexual man hurts you in the application process to BBs.

LMAO. Can we front-page this?

"For all the tribulations in our lives, for all the troubles that remain in the world, the decline of violence is an accomplishment we can savor, and an impetus to cherish the forces of civilization and enlightenment that made it possible."
 
FrankD'anconia:

This would make a decent movie script. The finance equivalent of "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry". OP, if you ultimately got the job, wouldn't you have to keep the act up your whole time there?

I want to hear the answer to this question. Say you get the job through one of these programs OP, would you pretend to be gay for 2 years after?

 
x.:

You don't have to "pretend" anything. Just act normal, it's not like by being labeled as "gay", you are now obliged to openly act like a chick.

You are making this argument too black and white. Just because you are gay doesn't mean you need to act like a girl, but there are definitely characteristic differences between those who are straight and those who aren't (for the most part).

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 
notthehospitalER:

What about when shooting the shit with fellow analysts etc?

I see what you did there

x.:

Then I just shoot the shit with them. What'd you expect? Did you expect me to spread my anal open everytime the MD looks away?

...and you killed it

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 
x.:
Then I just shoot the shit with them. What'd you expect? Did you expect me to spread my anal open everytime the MD looks away?

Hahahaha, and this thread has delivered.

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
 
notthehospitalER:

Haha one of my better ones. Also, at the risk of sounding weird: read a bunch of your posts recently, very entertaining/informative. Feel like I'm talking to a minor celebrity haha

Thanks hah but no way dude. Check the Silver Banana list on the side of the home page. Those are the real celebs.

I'm like the Disney channel star that no one over the age of 12 without kids knows

Commercial Real Estate Developer
 

Not only is this morally very questionable, but it can land you in trouble assuming you are serious about going through with the charade.

You might land the interview and even the job, but these are the type of things that eventually come out (no pun intended). How long can you pretend on the job? You will go out with your fellow bankers to bars and clubs, and one day (under the most awkward circumstances the truth will actually be revealed). Also I am sure there are tons of people at your school who already know you are straight. Some of them may end up working at the same firm, or even before that, in the interview process, a couple of really competitive jerks might even blab to HR if they learn you are close to getting the job. There are a million loose ends here.

And once word gets out, which it will, they will sack your ass. You will find it really hard to find a job at another firm for this fraud (ref checks+wall street is a really small place), and this will also probably screw your chances at b-school.

In other words, don't do it. It's morally unsound, and the risk-reward tradeoff is entirely irrational.

 
Keyser Söze 123:
thekeyofgflat:
as a sophomore the most important question is are you female, black, hispanic or LGBT? If not luckily Tobin & Co is probably hiring because a BB internship isn't happening
I can see future posts: "Non-target, 4.0 GPA: Currently pretending to be gay to get an internship at Goldman Sachs."

Calling out shots like Babe Ruth

https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/how-to-get-an-internship-in-inve…

"A man can convince anyone he's somebody else, but never himself."
 

How is it "impossible" to fake being a minority? Everyone thinks I'm Hispanic, although I'm far from it. Hell, people at my first job in high school talked to me in Spanish because they thought I did not understand English.

 

An employer cannot ask you anything that could reveal your race, gender, religion or sexuality. If I recall correctly, NFL teams asked prospective players "if the liked girls or if they had a girlfriend", which is against the law. The NY State Attorney wrote a letter to the NFL explaining that it's against the law for a prospective employer to inquire about your sexuality.

 

Good point Amphipathic. It's kind of ridiculous that banks even consider sexuality as a factor. Fake diversity is not beneficial in the long run. People start cheating the system with faking it either sexually or racially especially since banks officially can't ask about these in the applications. Although every application I sent had race questions in it, they still claim that they don't look at skin color when you're applying.

 

You ever suck dick for coke? No? Well, would you suck dick for a Harvard MBA?

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

If you don't want to go with LGBT thing, you can always tell them you're black. If they question it tell them you're the reincarnation of MLK (in off-white) and how dare they judge you based on the color of your skin.

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

This is brilliant...they can't verify someone's sexual orientation, and bi-curious is even tougher to tell. Besides, just drop the act after the first day of classes and "discover" how straight you really are.....who the hell is going to stop you?

Dude, seriously though, I think you're taking this a bit far, yes?

Get busy living
 
UFOinsider:
This is brilliant...they can't verify someone's sexual orientation, and bi-curious is even tougher to tell. Besides, just drop the act after the first day of classes and "discover" how straight you really are.....who the hell is going to stop you?

Dude, seriously though, I think you're taking this a bit far, yes?

People in this field go to great lengths for career progression and compensation progression. If working 80 hour weeks for the majority of your 20s and at least half of your 30s isn't taking it too far, then pretending to be a fudge packer surely isn't.

 
  1. joining LGBT =/= you're gay. could just mean you support gay rights?
  2. say he is bisexual
  3. why would you do that? gay people actually face discrimination; a straight person acting gay hasnt faced that discrimination
 

make sure they know this through the multitude of triangles on your resume. i prefer to put them in liu of bullet points or as a giant background watermark.

========================================= We are excited to formally extend to you an offer to join Bank of Ameria
 

Imagine if you were a disabled, homosexual, native american who was also a veteran. Talk about jackpot!

-------------------------------------------------------- "I do not think there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcom
 

I'm not sure why people are acting like this is the weirdest thing ever. I don't know how JPM would ever figure out that I'm not gay and I don't think it would be a big deal at all even if they did. It's like going to a target schools info sessions from a non-target, you aren't really a student there and it may upset some people but others might even be impressed at your tenacity.

It's not like I'm going to meet people there and they're going to introduce me as gay. I don't think it will even matter once I actually meet people.

Besides, worst case scenario I can claim I am a "yestergay" (real thing).

 
KingCudi:

I'm not sure why people are acting like this is the weirdest thing ever. I don't know how JPM would ever figure out that I'm not gay and I don't think it would be a big deal at all even if they did. It's like going to a target schools info sessions from a non-target, you aren't really a student there and it may upset some people but others might even be impressed at your tenacity.

It's not like I'm going to meet people there and they're going to introduce me as gay. I don't think it will even matter once I actually meet people.

Besides, worst case scenario I can claim I am a "yestergay" (real thing).

Dude, if you already had your mind made up, why the fuck did you need to make a thread about it?

“Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do”
 
KingCudi:

I'm not sure why people are acting like this is the weirdest thing ever. I don't know how JPM would ever figure out that I'm not gay and I don't think it would be a big deal at all even if they did. It's like going to a target schools info sessions from a non-target, you aren't really a student there and it may upset some people but others might even be impressed at your tenacity.

It's not like I'm going to meet people there and they're going to introduce me as gay. I don't think it will even matter once I actually meet people.

Besides, worst case scenario I can claim I am a "yestergay" (real thing).

I'm just trying to understand why you need to do this when you have an offer from GS?

//www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/under-gs-background-check-by-first-advan…

 
IlliniProgrammer:

I'm just trying to understand why you need to do this when you have an offer from GS?

//www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/under-gs-bac...

What is your problem? Why have you said that twice now, I didn't say anything about an offer from GS, I just said you should be prepared to explain why you put the wrong date on your resume when you're getting a background check. I didn't imply in the least that I had an offer from GS.

 

DCDepository pretty much summed it up nicely.

DickFuld if you've been here not even 2 weeks and are already targeting people and calling them names then you should consider joining another forum where you can express your life frustration. It's a finance forum and let's keep it that way. I can only hope @AndyLouis noticed your rotten behavior. I know you run out of MS to throw at me. Since you read WSO for a year you did not have anything productive to post for 12 months and it sums you up pretty well (no experience in finance whatsoever). Please stop your targeting of people and let's all learn on WSO.

 

Can we pause for a second and reflect on me becoming a prominent WSO poster? Thanks.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
 

Repellendus aperiam quia nobis non error. Qui consequuntur dolorem nam unde. Id cumque perferendis doloribus eos enim. Eveniet tempora voluptates laborum sit adipisci.

 

Repellat perspiciatis eos exercitationem fuga itaque veritatis et quae. Nihil sit perspiciatis delectus ipsam aspernatur et ab. Officia dolore quo id in aliquam totam vero nulla. Sapiente aut qui delectus aliquam asperiores. Aspernatur assumenda cum ut mollitia ut numquam quaerat. Nemo error aut dolorum quisquam dolore consequatur id sit.

 

Nihil sint consequuntur magnam voluptatem mollitia labore labore. Ea qui magni sed quia in aliquam. Id dolores animi qui eum ducimus recusandae. Sunt distinctio quo adipisci expedita non.

Laudantium et dolor est iusto non provident dolor. Officia illum libero laboriosam a. Magni consequatur culpa voluptas deleniti odit laudantium aut. Minima sit excepturi odit officia consequuntur sed. Quisquam laborum dolor numquam praesentium.

Voluptatibus consequatur consectetur sunt reiciendis. Veniam recusandae quia qui illum quis modi dolor. Ipsa excepturi possimus qui natus.

Et dolor quia asperiores magnam. Sint est sunt vel blanditiis incidunt. Quo provident dolores sed. Enim temporibus consequatur id quibusdam aut. Voluptatum earum quae ipsum nisi eaque.

 

Rem nihil dicta porro et. Enim doloremque eveniet voluptas quas omnis eum. Dolor itaque fuga iure sequi quae aperiam qui. Voluptatem et pariatur ut iure aspernatur beatae. Sunt quaerat facere aliquam placeat ut aperiam. Excepturi autem iste quae cumque magnam possimus modi. Sunt voluptas quam alias excepturi sunt.

Consectetur labore et perspiciatis deleniti consequatur. Ut molestiae libero alias eos amet neque. Quisquam sit omnis maiores. Minima nisi possimus impedit veritatis est aut. Sed animi optio nihil cum voluptatem aut ad. Delectus alias voluptate dolore non voluptate.

Debitis reprehenderit praesentium id sequi. Rerum soluta fugit in. Eveniet nihil et ullam maxime veniam ad nisi. Laudantium et ut non odit adipisci doloremque eum et. Ipsa error mollitia voluptas reprehenderit minima rerum et. Dolor eum ad sunt inventore ab aspernatur nesciunt velit. Corrupti quaerat nostrum ea et.

 

Aut consectetur a autem temporibus a numquam adipisci. In consectetur rerum nulla eligendi quaerat ratione aliquam.

Incidunt ea quidem et. Similique reiciendis sit atque commodi id doloremque ut voluptatum. Neque explicabo quidem velit quidem.

Will update my computer soon and leave Incognito so I will disappear forever. How did I achieve Neanderthal by trolling? Some people are after me so need to close account for safety.

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