Cocky or Humble Letter of Rec...

I'm in the middle of FT recruiting.

The past 10 months, I had an internship at a local boutique and I've run into a couple MDs since I've finished. They expressed that they really wanted to write me a letter of rec.

I know I'm supposed to write it myself and have them edit/add to it, but I have no idea where to start. Looked through the forums and couldn't find any definite answers.

Do I braggingly describe myself? Hold back and say I humbly didn't do everything I did? How do I structure it so that I can include everything of importance and get the most out of the letter without sounding like a prick?

Let's assume I have a great relationship with these guys, and they told me they wanted to write these letters.

I realize this is a question without a black and white answer, but any suggestions are appreciated.

 

It could be possible, I mean Goldman has like 5000 partners.

I knew a guy that worked for a boutique firm that literally gave everyone a fancy title to make clients think they were dealing with someone more important than they actually were.

Titles are meaningless.

You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son.
 

Make sure the letter describes a weakness you had during your internship and how you addressed it throughout the course of the internship. Describing this growth a) makes the letter realistic and b) shows how you handle adversity, which is important. If you write a letter than effectively states you walk on water and can turn stone to gold whoever is reading isn't going to take it seriously. However, if you show a weak aspect of you that you improved on, it shows that you're not only human but also self-observant.

"Yes. Money has been a little bit tight lately, but at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I'm gonna be thinking about how many friends I have and my children and my comedy albums."
 

To be honest, I doubt they even read the letter, but instead just endorse it. With that said, I wouldn't use that rationale as a carte blanche to write down whatever you want (doesn't seem like you were going to).

Think of it much like how you would write a cover letter, explain the tasks that you were responsible for and the proficiency you exhibited in completing those tasks. It is definitely odd writing about yourself in the 3rd person. A key theme to keep in mind as you're doing so, is write the letter as if you're reading something from the MD and flattered that he thought to speak about you in that manner.

 

The best way to be both humble and cocky is to stick to the facts about your accomplishments, and then just be selective about the facts. State what you've done, and market yourself but not too much.

Yes, it's very tricky.

Yes, it's unfair to ask a 20-year-old college kid to do this.

Yes, you WILL get better at this.

Relax. This is an opportunity, not a threat.

 
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