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Since I'm now recruiting for a boutique wealth management firm rather than a bulge bracket investment bank, I'm seeing a whole new type of resumes. Some of them are quite funny, and you all know me -- I love to share.

Since people in the past have been upset by my posting humorous responses to the drek I read in resumes, I considered just posting the drek this time and omitting the humor. However, it just didn't seem as useful. The point is that this stuff doesn't sound that funny until you're a recruiter looking at your fortieth resume of the day -- and in order to submit a good resume, you need to understand your recruiter's point of view. Here we go.

Candidate 1: High school GPA: 3.52. [Not very tough college] GPA: 2.96.
Great, dude. Clearly, you had a lot more fun in college than you had in high school. It's understandable; your school is known for partying. But if you're trying to prove that you have the potential for a 3.52, then you'd also have to answer to why that potential went down the tubes during college and why you're still a top-quality candidate. Sadly, I don't have the time or inclination to ask that question. Next.

Candidate 2: Summers 2001-2006: Burger Patch Restaurant, Sales Associate.
You know what they say -- if your summer group keeps asking you back, it shows that you are hardworking and likable. Next.

Candidate 3: First place, poetry.com Poem Contest.
Hmm -- isn't that the contest that's famous for awarding first place to everyone who enters? Did you shell out the $65 for the heirloom-quality coffee table book containing your poem, the $575 to accept your award at the quarterly conference, and the $169 for the elegant silver-tone trophy cup too? If so, I would like to honor your ground-breaking work in poetry as well. Please PM me for the name and address where you should send your check. Next.

Candidate 4: Diablo 2 -- Self-Run Online Business.
This is exactly the kind of entrepreneurial self-starter we want in our firm. Next.

Candidate 5: "This seems to be an ideal position that will enable me to contribute to your company by utilizing my current skills and experience. I am eager and enthused to be given the opportunity to contribute my diligence and hard work ethic to your company.... My work experience has taught me to work independently as well as exemplifying team work by taking initiative in other aspects of departmental obligations such as administrative support."
My friend, you probably thought that exhausting the thesaurus would make you sound intelligent. Unfortunately, all it did was make you sound like a tool. Also, it doesn't hide the fact that your grammar is disappointing. Next.

Candidate 6: Fanatic video gamer (mainly console).
There is a short list of things that you should never put on a resume, no matter how true they are. Smoking marijuana is one. Drinking to blackout is another. Fanatic video gaming is in the same group. Like many scions of the '80's, I am a huge video game fan and have wasted too much of my life on video games -- from Final Fantasy I in 1990 to Street Fighter II in 1993 to World of Warcraft and Civ 4 and Guitar Hero II now. Does that mean I have sympathy for somebody who feels that this belongs on his resume? Absolutely not. That's something you can bring up on the third round of drinks during a social event when there are no seniors around to hear, but not on your resume.

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Comments (245)

  • imkeen's picture

    i love you mis Ind

  • PoppingMyCollar's picture

    Hah, as you tumble down the prestige ladder it becomes more comical that you mock other people

  • Schumacher's picture

    Mis Ind:
    Candidate 2: Summers 2001-2006: Burger Patch Restaurant, Sales Associate.
    You know what they say -- if your summer group keeps asking you back, it shows that you are hardworking and likable. Next.

    This gets to me everytime. Are you saying that your company is above the sort of candidate who has put in his/her time at fast food and retail? If this was his only work experience I can understand you having a laugh at it, but if you ding him for simply putting on his resume, thats kinda sad.

    Why sneer at someone who has real job experience? Not EVERYONE has the resources to get a PWM internship at Merrill their freshman year in college.

    There are two ways you can look at this. You can write him off as some untouchable not worthy of your "boutique wealth management firm" (whatever that means). OR you could view this person as a candidate who stuck it out in jobs that probably sucked. Doesnt the finance industry value real down and dirty work anymore? Some of the best bankers and traders in the world got their start in mail rooms and retail centers.

    *Here ends the public service announcement*

  • Devils Advocate's picture

    Why sneer at someone who has real job experience? Not EVERYONE has the resources to get a PWM internship at Merrill their freshman year in college.

    Lol when did people start holding PWM internships in high regard?

  • interestedguy's picture

    im not sure if it's the case here, but it's really deplorable to reject an (otherwise strong) applicant just because he/she worked in a fast-food restaurant.

  • In reply to Schumacher
    M0NEYneversleeps's picture

    Schumacher:
    Mis Ind:
    Candidate 2: Summers 2001-2006: Burger Patch Restaurant, Sales Associate.
    You know what they say -- if your summer group keeps asking you back, it shows that you are hardworking and likable. Next.

    This gets to me everytime. Are you saying that your company is above the sort of candidate who has put in his/her time at fast food and retail? If this was his only work experience I can understand you having a laugh at it, but if you ding him for simply putting on his resume, thats kinda sad.

    Why sneer at someone who has real job experience? Not EVERYONE has the resources to get a PWM internship at Merrill their freshman year in college.

    There are two ways you can look at this. You can write him off as some untouchable not worthy of your "boutique wealth management firm" (whatever that means). OR you could view this person as a candidate who stuck it out in jobs that probably sucked. Doesnt the finance industry value real down and dirty work anymore? Some of the best bankers and traders in the world got their start in mail rooms and retail centers.

    *Here ends the public service announcement*

    DOCH

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Nope. We've all worked retail or fast food, I'm sure... but the difference between a good candidate and a bad candidate is that the good candidate has better things to use their valuable resume space on than Burger Patch. What that candidate was actually saying was, "I have nothing better to say about myself than that I worked at Burger Patch for five summers." No internships. No summer volunteer work. The guy's twenty-two and he's going back home to work at Burger Patch in the summer just like he did in high school. That just doesn't look good on a resume.

    By the time you graduate college, you should not have to write about flipping burgers just to fill up your one page. Especially not if you did it for five years. That tells me that the guy is not particularly focused on being a good candidate for my industry.

  • milkman84's picture

    I didn't realize right away that was for an FT position...I would hope that one wouldn't look as down on a frosh or soph who puts that on their resume (and no, I don't work in the service/fast food industry)?

  • Mis Ind's picture

    "im not sure if it's the case here, but it's really deplorable to reject an (otherwise strong) applicant just because he/she worked in a fast-food restaurant."

    It would have killed the joke to explain it in my initial post, but just so you don't feel too sorry for the guy:

    He didn't put his GPA on his resume. Or his SATs. Or any other number. I need at least something along those lines. If you don't include any of this, I have to assume that your numbers were bad.
    His work history wasn't in chronological order.
    His other work experience involved being an office assistant for four years -- essentially a secretary. In an unrelated industry.
    He didn't include a cover letter when I specifically requested it.

    In other words, I dinged him because he wasn't qualified. However, you could definitely draw a strong correlation between flipping burgers for five years and not being qualified. While flipping burgers every summer doesn't mean you're stupid, it does mean that you're not out there doing comps or DCFs or asset allocations or pitchbooks during your summers. And that hurts you in this field.

  • waltersobchek's picture

    Are these for summer interns, or full time people?

  • Mis Ind's picture

    "I didn't realize right away that was for an FT position...I would hope that one wouldn't look as down on a frosh or soph who puts that on their resume (and no, I don't work in the service/fast food industry)?"

    Hell no... if I was looking at frosh or soph resumes, I wouldn't ding them for fast food. When you're under twenty, you take what you can get. I like to see people who are at least working hard and earning money in their late teens.

    However, and this is true for the entire finance industry, your resume needs to start demonstrating some finance knowledge and experience by your senior year at the latest. There is a significant difference between flipping burgers at nineteen and flipping burgers at twenty-two. The former says you're young and you need cash. The latter says you either failed or never tried to get a real job or an internship. Big difference.

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Walter, this is for full-time analysts. Most of the people I'm looking at have already graduated; a few will be graduating in December or May.

  • In reply to Devils Advocate
    Schumacher's picture

    Devils Advocate:
    Why sneer at someone who has real job experience? Not EVERYONE has the resources to get a PWM internship at Merrill their freshman year in college.

    Lol when did people start holding PWM internships in high regard?

    What other legit finance internships can you get as freshmen?

    And will someone explain to me what DOCH is? :P

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  • Mis Ind's picture

    True enough -- finance internships are by far the easiest way into finance if you're a freshman or sophomore. I worked in wealth management at Wachovia, at a boutique, and at Goldman before I went into IB.

    To Schumacher: I don't want to dive too deep into discussing my current firm (as usual), but it's an interesting situation. I actually hate wealth management and would never have considered it except at this one specific firm which is quite different. The specific things that make my firm more selective:

    1: We don't market or sell anything. We have a waiting list of clients who've heard of us through word-of-mouth. We turn away clients because we're too small to handle them the way we want to. This is in stark contrast to your average wealth management firm that is only trying to increase AUM.

    2: Our clients are in the $400 million and up range -- these are individuals the size of companies. That means each associate handles only 8-10 clients, and that the work is extremely complex. Part of what we do for them is buy and sell companies, hotels, jets, yachts, vineyards, newspapers, and so forth. We need people who can not only tear through a DCF in two hours, but who can also become private jet experts in ten days, create presentations for venture capitalists, and value a private company with no product and no revenues. In contrast, the average wealth management analyst just does rebalancings and allocations, with maybe a little concentrated-equity or derivatives work.

    3: Our clients are primarily Hollywood, Napa, or Silicon Valley types. Each has specific needs that go far beyond traditional finance.

    4: We are a tiny family-style office. Every single person we hire has to be approved by every single employee (in the true crazy California management style). If I see a candidate that I like, if I know that another particular person won't like him, I know not to bother.

    Also, we have no HR department -- it's just me and a senior guy, slogging through hundreds of candidates. We are on auto-ding unless the candidate has something very special.

  • M0NEYneversleeps's picture

    Doch means indeed.

  • Schumacher's picture

    Let me guess...something special = a 3.5+ from Ivy and previous BB experience?

    Yawn.

    Eh, sorry I'm cynical tonight. I'll stop raining on the parade.

  • Seanc's picture

    The White trash in you is showing Ind.

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Yes, Seanc. One wouldn't try to conceal it -- futile, you know. Why, just last night as I sat down to my evening cornbread and collard greens with my fiance, I said, "Boy howdy, ain't I glad I up and came out west where I ain't had to p'tend I wadn't from the South no more." By the way, if you're ever in Atlanta, I hear my grandma gives excellent handjobs for twenty bucks. She's trying to keep my uncle's Camaro from getting repo'd. So help a sister out, all right? After all, we po but we proud.

    Schumacher, not so much -- I am very bullish on ex-BB investment bankers with high GPAs, but the senior guy is somewhat less so. When we come to a consensus, it's usually about someone with an unusual story -- a guy from Wharton with a 3.2 who's from here originally and who's miserable at his BB PWM job in New Jersey, or a girl who did BB Lev Fin and hated it, or a girl who did boutique IB in LA and couldn't put up with the cultural fakeness in both the town and the industry. Most people who come here from the bulge brackets are the mavericks -- the people who couldn't or didn't drink the Kool-Aid. I think that's probably a better criteria for those who are coming to us from bulge brackets.

  • strangesituations's picture

    Ms. Ind, I have a question for you about your hiring process.

    I'm a rising senior at Wharton major finance/acc. and I have had only one finance internship (equity analyst in equity research) for four months but did not intern this past junior summer.

    I learned a lot, but after doing this internship I mostly learned about areas where I need work in....such as financial modeling and realizing the fact that a wharton finance education is BS useless joke.

    I didn't intern because I wanted to broaden my skillset during the summer and take summer courses (graduating one semester early).

    So instead of interning, I chose to take the CFA 1 and was able to pass it along with getting three financial modeling certs. I also took four college classes in the summer.

    Will this hurt me significantly during FT recruiting fall due to the lack of a second internship and the fact that I did the ER one so long ago?

  • In reply to Mis Ind
    Bondarb's picture

    Mis Ind:
    True enough -- finance internships are by far the easiest way into finance if you're a freshman or sophomore. I worked in wealth management at Wachovia, at a boutique, and at Goldman before I went into IB.

    To Schumacher: I don't want to dive too deep into discussing my current firm (as usual), but it's an interesting situation. I actually hate wealth management and would never have considered it except at this one specific firm which is quite different. The specific things that make my firm more selective:

    1: We don't market or sell anything. We have a waiting list of clients who've heard of us through word-of-mouth. We turn away clients because we're too small to handle them the way we want to. This is in stark contrast to your average wealth management firm that is only trying to increase AUM.

    2: Our clients are in the $400 million and up range -- these are individuals the size of companies. That means each associate handles only 8-10 clients, and that the work is extremely complex. Part of what we do for them is buy and sell companies, hotels, jets, yachts, vineyards, newspapers, and so forth. We need people who can not only tear through a DCF in two hours, but who can also become private jet experts in ten days, create presentations for venture capitalists, and value a private company with no product and no revenues. In contrast, the average wealth management analyst just does rebalancings and allocations, with maybe a little concentrated-equity or derivatives work.

    3: Our clients are primarily Hollywood, Napa, or Silicon Valley types. Each has specific needs that go far beyond traditional finance.

    ...dude i dont mean to be an a-hole although I am in a bad mood, but you work in private banking. No different then a broker at a BB for high net worth individuals who does things like arrange travel, look for high-end works of art, etc. for clients. There is nothing unique about this business.

  • strangesituations's picture

    ms ind, I'm also curious about why you left banking? Were you told to get an MBA and let go?

    Academically, my GPA at Wharton is quite poor, below 3, but I tried to make up for it by getting the CFA 1 and the FRM...the financial risk manager cert.

    How do you view this in hiring?

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Will the lack of a junior summer internship hurt you during FT recruiting? If you want to go to a BB IBD, then yes, even with the CFA 1 and whatever modeling certs you got from whatever company you got them from.

    Does that mean you are screwed? Certainly not. It probably would have been better to go and do a big summer internship, but it sounds like you have plenty of fight left in you for fall recruiting. Also, remember that many of your competitors during fall recruiting didn't have great successful junior summer internships either, or else they'd probably have accepted those offers and would be off the market by now.

    Good luck.

  • strangesituations's picture

    thanks a lot ms ind. I don't plan on going into a BB IBD (because my bad gpa) but investment management.

    That's why I spent lots of time doing the cfa, frm, 3 modeling certs.

    Will it hurt my chances as an analyst in asset management significantly?

    I find it problematic to explain to an interviewer( or a recruitor who sees my resume) who may deem me trained in finance and modeling but lacking practical expereince utilizing these recently acquired skills.

    How should I play this out in a positive way, for instance, to you?

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Bondarb, I worked in wealth management for years. Trust me when I tell you that this is a very different company than Goldman or Wachovia. We don't buy art or arrange travel for clients. We do buy companies for them and arrange for venture capital for their next ideas. We don't sell securities or custody assets, and there's definitely no whiff of the brokerage about us. Nobody calls us because they lost 8% of their net worth overnight -- our clients have more money than they could ever spend. We're not even under SEC oversight.

    I've always respected your opinions on the areas in which you work, but I can assure you that working with a $500 million client is an entirely different business than working with a $20 million client. These are individuals that function like corporations. There is M&A activity, and we advise on raising capital, selling shares, and so forth. I wouldn't have come here with an offer on the table from Carlyle had it not been an entirely different business than conventional wealth management.

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Strangesituations, it's not so bad if you want to go to work in wealth management. If you get the chance to explain it, then definitely do so. If not, then don't worry -- you still have nothing to be ashamed of.

    By the way, I left banking because there was just nothing about it I enjoyed, and I couldn't see myself doing it for many more years. I decided to put my toe in the water to see what would bite, and I got some great offers. It probably would have turned out differently had I not joined the BB IBD group that I joined. It had been rumored to be the worst in the bank, but there were so many various rumors flying around that I chose not to believe them. The group turned out to be a very bad choice. Most of the analysts were unhappy and many of them were considering leaving early. There was a general sense that there was no level of protection to keep analysts from getting destroyed with back-to-back-to-back all-nighters. I'm not talking about the normal back-to-backs, I'm talking third-years spending four days straight in the office with no thanks and no consideration, only to be told to go and get a half-night's sleep and come back to start a fresh project the next morning. Nobody was happy -- particularly not me. Hope that answers your question.

  • Bondarb's picture

    ...first of all i wouldnt know about working with either a $20mm or a $500mm client since i have never worked with a client in my life. I just hate the self-egrandizing BS you post constantly about how great everything you do is. Last time i was here a few months ago you told me that you had run money at age 20, were offered $70mm dollars to become a rich man's girlfriend, and that your husband was an auto mechanic. I suspect you live in a bit of a fantasy world. And last time i also asked you out and you said no which means you must be a lesbian.

  • strangesituations's picture

    Thanks ms ind. That was very informative. I hope you are happy in your current role.

    What sort of skills do you value most in PWM besides modeling and finance knowledge?

    (besides previous expereince, of course)

    My greatest fear in terms of facing a recruitor is explaining my GPA at wharton... I relaxed a lot once I got in and the competition is fierce and thus I was squashed.

    There are so many incongruencies with my grades and the level of knowledge. For instance, I have a C in a risk management type course, but later on I put in 200+ hours of studying and passed the FRM cert, which should negate that previous red flag.

    Would you be able to overlook the gpa if the necessary finance skills are demonstrated or will it be a permanent red flag for recruiting?

    Btw, ignore bondarb, he's just trolling

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Bondarb, I'm not sure that everything I do is great. My tenure as a BB analyst sucked, for instance.

    I've already discussed all of this with you, but we can rehash if you like. I made speculative investment decisions at a relatively early age with a small Atlanta firm that was in its startup phase. They have pulled in a truly bizarre range of guys -- from weightlifters to college sophomores to the guy who ran their IT infrastructure (no joke!) -- and handed them each chunks of the fund to essentially run. You may feel free to visit them on the web at www.yieldquest.com. I no longer have any association with them and I imagine they barely remember me.

    I was never offered $70mm to become a rich man's girlfriend. A rich man worth $70 million wanted me to become his girlfriend and eventual wife (sans prenup), at which time I would most likely have become worth half of his $70. This is not at all an uncommon situation -- just look at all the guys worth $70mm with trophy wives. If you're a young woman with decent conversation and a face that isn't hideous, I guarantee you that if you run in the same circles I did, that you will also receive the same offer. I don't see why this comes off as strange.

    I've never said my husband was an auto mechanic and don't see how that could have been believed from anything I've ever said. I am not married and have not ever been. If it's your intent to attack me, you should perhaps pull up these posts so that we can determine that you're not just flinging mud using false memories. You're way off-base on some of these.

    Also, are you quite sure you've read all my posts? You didn't attack me at all for being a NASKA martial arts champion, for my bisexuality, or for my brief stuntwork appearance in the movie "Mortal Kombat". If you're going to attack everything I am, you might as well get the whole picture, right?

  • Bondarb's picture

    ...were u really a stunt woman in Mortal Kombat? I missed that one. Also the martial arts championship and the bisexuality. I obviously havent read all the posts but they do sound interesting. I usually avoid girls who claim to be bisexual b/c i feel they are attention-seekers but i might consider letting you buy me dinner tommorow night if you ask nicely.

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Considering how critical it is that you think highly of me, I'll fly right over. Per Se? 7:30? I'll be the one in the vintage Chanel tweed with the pearls. Dress code is evening semiformal, but be ready for action underneath. Looking forward to it. Mrrrow.

  • Bondarb's picture

    ...oh u r such a wimp...sarcasm is the lowest form of communication. How about this: per se, 7:30p, and i'll even pay provided the us yield curve steepens tommorow...i am breaking my bisexuality rule which is big for me and i am a senior monkey which i know you respect.

  • Bondarb's picture

    ...and understand that getting into per se tommorow night at 7:30p isnt going to be easy but i will do it...

  • interestedguy's picture

    sorry to jump in on the fun...but Miss Ind, would you mind addressing a question of mine regarding IBD info sessions? Specifically, I was wondering if, once the speakers are done talking, we would be better off spending our time schmoozing with the actual investment bankers, or the recruiters from the firm. For summer analyst positions, which have more say in the initial resume sorting process.

    Thanks for your help and sorry again to interrupt the thread.

  • HerSerendipity's picture
  • strangesituations's picture

    yea, i would like mine answered too....

    "Would you be able to overlook the gpa if the necessary finance skills are demonstrated or will it be a permanent red flag for recruiting?"

    Ms. ind, what were the most valuable skills that you acquired as an analyst? besides financial statements, modeling m and a.

  • interestedguy's picture

    strangesituations, i think the answer in your case is probably "it depends". if the gpa is too low, then no, if the work experience is really good, then yes. If neither of these fits, then the answer is unfortunately somewhere in the middle.

  • Seanc's picture

    I think it's pathetic that you derive some perverse pleasure from making fun of people's resumes. It's regrettable that not everyone's an overachiever like yourself but the least you could do is cut them slack.

    Secondly, none of the comments you posted are even remotely funny. It's clear that most people on this board don't appreciate the drivel you're posting, so I strongly suggest you instead use your time to educate these applicants on what they should or should not include in their resumes.

  • pedigreed monkey's picture

    that guy who worked as a burger associate 7 years in a row is a complete idiot, as is anyone who tried to defend him.

    why the hell does a fast food place need a sales associate anyway, are those the people i talk to in the drive thru?

    in this day and age there is no reason for a middle-class teenager--LET ALONE A COLLEGE STUDENT-- to ever work at a fast food place. my first job when i was 15 was at a smoothie place in the mall. then i worked as an usher/concessionist at AMC theatres. i also worked at abercrombie at one point. all shitty jobs (nothing id EVER put on a resume) but not nearly as bad and degrading as flipping burgers, getting sweaty and pimply and treated like shit at McDonalds.

  • In reply to Seanc
    PoppingMyCollar's picture

    Seanc:
    I think it's pathetic that you derive some perverse pleasure from making fun of people's resumes. It's regrettable that not everyone's an overachiever like yourself but the least you could do is cut them slack.

    That's what's so funny though: she isn't an overachiever, she's a huge UNDERachiever.

    She stumbled in to a BB analyst gig as one of the oldest people there (i think she was like 25 when she started), then couldn't hack it a quit after 1 year to go to "boutique" PWM gig. LOL

  • CompBanker's picture

    The idea is not that the kid was flipping burgers, that is a respectable job. The idea was that even as this kid progressed through college, he did not pursue other jobs. There really is not much of an excuse for why someone flipped burgers their summer before senior year. A resume should paint a clear picture of your progression to the job that you are currently applying for. Going from McD's to PWM leaves a big gap and also calls into question the dedication and maturity of the candidate.

    And I hate to say it, but some resumes are just kind of funny / sad. Tell me you don't get a kick out of someone attempting to glorify their work at The Gap or when little Jimmy Hotshot names himself the CEO/Co-Founder of "Hotshot & Co's Webdesign" and pretends like he is an entrepreneur.

    CompBanker

  • Restructure This's picture

    I can't believe the reactions of some of the people here. It's easy to tell who has screened resumes before and who hasn't. When you're all done being indignant, consider this --- you're being given a rare opportunity to get a perspective from the other side of the table. You can whine or you can learn the lesson.

    I reviewed around 200-300 resumes within the past year to hire roughly 10 full-time hires, 8-10 temps, and 6 interns for mostly back office support at a Fortune 500 (not a bank). I wouldn't even bother interviewing someone who's only experience was 5 summers of burgers. Not even for an internship, unless I saw something else in the education or extra-curriculars that was outstanding. And these are low-skill entry level positions, requiring far less sophistication than an investment banking analyst.

    Here's a news flash reminder of the blatantly obvious: Investment banking is a competitive and selective field. The qualifications are well published and not a secret.

    Sorry if anyone's feelings are hurt, but there are lots of other jobs and careers out there. You can either put in the effort to qualify yourself, or just move on.

  • In reply to Schumacher
    Restructure This's picture

    Schumacher:

    There are two ways you can look at this. You can write him off as some untouchable not worthy of your "boutique wealth management firm" (whatever that means). OR you could view this person as a candidate who stuck it out in jobs that probably sucked. Doesnt the finance industry value real down and dirty work anymore? Some of the best bankers and traders in the world got their start in mail rooms and retail centers.

    Actually, there's only one way to look at this. If you're screening resumes, who do you work for? The firm or this guy? Your job is to get the best candidate from a big stack. Period. I know people who work in burger joints and mail rooms, and it hasn't changed my mind.

    In a fight between a big guy and a little guy, the big guy doesn't always win. But that's the one you bet on. And if you're betting the company's money, it had better be on the big guy, if you want to keep YOUR job.

    Getting clearer?

  • In reply to Restructure This
    PoppingMyCollar's picture

    Restructure This:
    I can't believe the reactions of some of the people here. It's easy to tell who has screened resumes before and who hasn't. When you're all done being indignant, consider this --- you're being given a rare opportunity to get a perspective from the other side of the table. You can whine or you can learn the lesson.

    I reviewed around 200-300 resumes within the past year to hire roughly 10 full-time hires, 8-10 temps, and 6 interns for mostly back office support at a Fortune 500 (not a bank). I wouldn't even bother interviewing someone who's only experience was 5 summers of burgers. Not even for an internship, unless I saw something else in the education or extra-curriculars that was outstanding. And these are low-skill entry level positions, requiring far less sophistication than an investment banking analyst.

    Here's a news flash reminder of the blatantly obvious: Investment banking is a competitive and selective field. The qualifications are well published and not a secret.

    Sorry if anyone's feelings are hurt, but there are lots of other jobs and careers out there. You can either put in the effort to qualify yourself, or just move on.

    Too bad it's for a crappy PWM job and not banking.

  • interestedguy's picture

    i think the general impression was that a kid was being dinged just for having a burger experience on his resume. If someone had just this (and little else), I'd be surprised if anyone here would hesitate to throw the resume into the trash.

  • sdonowski's picture

    Anyone else have interesting resume stories to tell? I can think of two.

    One i-banking analyst applicant's resume was too impressive. He started his own company while in college, raised millions in funding, and eventually had over 300 employees before the internet bubble popped. We chose not to interview him. To go from that to maintaining comps and other analyst BS would have been too big a change (plus his resume didn't show any interest in banking).

    A different applicant (this time for a small fund PE job) listed "cats" under the personal section of his resume. When the interviewer asked him about it, he said that he currently had 8 of them as pets. This probably wouldn't have prevented him from doing the job, but it weirded us all out and I think hurt his chances.

  • In reply to Restructure This
    Schumacher's picture

    Restructure This:
    Schumacher:

    There are two ways you can look at this. You can write him off as some untouchable not worthy of your "boutique wealth management firm" (whatever that means). OR you could view this person as a candidate who stuck it out in jobs that probably sucked. Doesnt the finance industry value real down and dirty work anymore? Some of the best bankers and traders in the world got their start in mail rooms and retail centers.

    Actually, there's only one way to look at this. If you're screening resumes, who do you work for? The firm or this guy? Your job is to get the best candidate from a big stack. Period. I know people who work in burger joints and mail rooms, and it hasn't changed my mind.

    In a fight between a big guy and a little guy, the big guy doesn't always win. But that's the one you bet on. And if you're betting the company's money, it had better be on the big guy, if you want to keep YOUR job.

    Getting clearer?

    Youre right, the candidate is clearly not ready for the job if his only experience is flipping burgers. I was merely saying working those types of jobs and putting them on your resume SHOULD never get you an auto-ding.

    It's like in Reservoir Dogs when Mr. Pink refuses to tip the waitress. You have to show a little respect. SOME people have to support themselves through H.S. and college and often times people in certain areas have to resort to fast food and retail no matter how good their GPA is. Let me tell you, coming from the midwest; GPA and school prestige didnt mean $hit when it came time to look for a summer job. That said, the kid should have def. found SOMETHING in the general industry his junior summer.

    I'd also like to say that a lot of people are showing Mis. Ind disrespect on this board. So she may be a little braggy and she thinks shes working for the coolest company since the one that invented sliced bread. But so what? More power to her. She was nice enough to post a job opportunity and is getting flamed for it. Play nice, gentlemen.

  • Mis Ind's picture

    Schumacher, it's cool. I've been around for a while on this board . There are always gasps and fingerpointing around my general lack of respect for poor resume composition. My hope is that someday folks will understand that it's not the individuals I'm hating on, but their inability to cover up (and occasionally their willingness to advertise) their occasionally-hilarious shortcomings. If there's one thing I want everyone to take away from this, it's not that they're not supposed to flip burgers or play video games, but that they should pay very close attention to every word of their resume from the viewpoint of the interviewer.

    My cool company -- well, you should understand that it's quite a change for me. I hated my last company. Not just my group within the investment bank, but the incompetent HR, the disappearing IT staff, and the constant stupid mottoes being generated by the big guys in their big offices. In contrast, my new company is very California -- we have life coaches and Aeron chairs, and upon joining I was asked what the company could do to help me actualize myself -- but it is also very cool. And I say that in joy and relief, because it's certainly not the norm for me. I'm not the kind of person who works at cool companies. I'm the kind of person who works at crappy companies. Hell, I did time in Wachovia PWM as a sophomore.

    After a year of heavy dealflow at a bulge-bracket IB and with great relationships with four big recruiters and one small recruiter, I had decent options. Out of the 30+ jobs I actively considered and could easily have gotten, including big PE and other bulge-bracket investment banks, there's a reason this one stood out for me, and a reason I took it. That reason is that it's the coolest damn job I saw. Everyone else wanted me to be an analyst -- but on the basis of age and gravitas, this company wanted me as a partner-track associate and offered me my own clients, many of whom I already knew about and looked up to. I was like, "Wait, I get to work with that guy whose podcasts I download religiously? And that guy whose wine I drink?" Throw in pay that is 90% of a top-bucket bulge-bracket IBD analyst's, hours that are half that of said analyst, and I'm sold. Y'all can hate all you want, but by the time I'm done vacationing in both Sonoma and Vegas every month (if I care to), buying my big house on the peninsula, buying my fiance his dream car, working my fifty with my awesome ex-Berkeley analysts, and spending three to four hours every day on leisure and fitness, I probably won't have much time to look back and think, "Oh man, they were right! I should have stayed in the investment bank!"

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