What posts have the most Monkeys commenting

Since I'm now recruiting for a boutique wealth management firm rather than a bulge bracket investment bank, I'm seeing a whole new type of resumes. Some of them are quite funny, and you all know me -- I love to share.

Since people in the past have been upset by my posting humorous responses to the drek I read in resumes, I considered just posting the drek this time and omitting the humor. However, it just didn't seem as useful. The point is that this stuff doesn't sound that funny until you're a recruiter looking at your fortieth resume of the day -- and in order to submit a good resume, you need to understand your recruiter's point of view. Here we go.

I had an experience last night that was rather unfortunate: I had sex with one of my female co-workers over at her place and it sucked. Now before I tell you what occurred I would like to put this in context. I have been told I am sexually proficient -actually I have been told I was great many times, but for the sake of modesty we will say proficient. This female compatriot is rather hot. When I say hot, I am distinguishing between cute and hot; that said, she was hot.

The most fucked up thing to be around is when your MD is sleeping with an analyst. She gets special treatment such as never having to work late; never responsible for any ofher mistakes (associates fault); going out to client meetings; traveling on roadshows; going out to client dinners; dressing inappropriately at work (ok I didnt really mind that); and being bitchy to everyone around, just to na

Official ibankingoasis belief in God poll. Any religion with a God accepted. I'll start.

Don't.

What is the specific dress codes for the various BBs?

Street Prestige
1. Harvard/Yale/Princeton/Wharton/MIT/Stanford
2. Penn/Columbia/Cornell/Dartmouth/Chicago/Cal Tech
3. Brown/Berk./Duke/Hopkins
4. Northwestern/Georgetown/UVA

We're digging through resumes for summer analysts again. Thought everyone might enjoy or benefit from a few of the real gems (all emphasis mine):

"Objective: To obtain an internship in the field of financial services to utilize my VAST analytical and quantitative skills."

The kid's a sophomore with a 3.43 GPA; how vast can he be? This reminds me of an ex-boyfriend of mine who described himself in public once as "massively endowed" when he actually had around six and a half inches. Nothing to laugh at, of course, but nothing you want to stand up and shout about either.

What's the best watch for a guy in the above age range?

Tag Heuer is a bit juvenile, I remember a few friends in highschool who had one.

Breitling are too big and ostentatious (due to their large size).

Montblanc are cool, but it's a pen company, not a watch company.

My picks are: Omega Seamster, Rolex Air Master, can't think of any others (help me out please)

Can anyone educate me about how to choose a decent watch, not a cheap-o one, but nothing over 5K.

I mean, seriously. You didn't get into an Ivy League school for a reason: you're not good enough. And quite frankly, you never will be. Investment banking is, intellectually, fairly simple. Banks don't recruit from the top schools because we're the only students who can fill out spreadsheets, but rather, we're the "right" type of people. When are you going to give up?

Even if you manage to get into a BB in operations or PWM, the chances of you ever making it somewhere are extremely slim. Clients don’t want some to deal with someone who went to Penn State.

anyone got any tips for staying awake during those back-to-back all-nighters?