mod note (Andy) see part one here

The breeze is brisk, the Starbucks cups are red, and the sidewalks of New York City are crowded body-to-body with packs of overweight tourists and kids on leashes. With football season in full swing and the winter doldrums looming large, summer days spent slamming beers at The Standard beer garden are but a distant memory. The holiday season is upon us, and while investment banking analysts across Wall Street are girding for a fiscal cliff-induced Christmas deal staffing special, a hint of holiday cheer hangs around the bullpen. That’s because around this time of year, junior investment bankers celebrate a Wall Street tradition as hallowed as the almighty 100-page Strategic Alternatives pitch. Monkeys rejoice – it’s Holiday Party season.

It’s midsummer in the city and the vaunted investment banking group outings are upon us. It’s time to loosen the cravat and enjoy the smell of steamy, urine-coated Manhattan concrete while kicking back a few with your fellow indentured servants. Whether you’re lucky enough to be invited to the group head’s Hamptons retreat or you’re slumming it at a roped-off section of the Ace Hotel Lobby Bar, one thing’s for sure: you’re getting after it at the summer party. But what does your libation say about you? See if these quintessential banker quaffs fit the personalities of people you may know:

I have a feeling I'm gonna need a catcher's mitt for all the monkey shit about to be flung by the WSO readers who don't enjoy the occasional toddy quite as much as I do. Don't shoot the messenger, guys, but it appears alcohol consumption - often and in vast quantities - is a mark of higher intelligence.

Two different long-term studies, one American and the other British, arrived at the same conclusion. Children were given IQ tests before age 16, ranked into groups ranging from "Very Bright" to "Very Dull", and then tracked over the next four decades to poll for various social factors. The one surprising trait that stood out was the fact that the very bright subjects drank more, and more often, than the dullards. As much as 80% more, depending on the study.

Even funnier than the results of the study are some of the reasons given to explain the phenomenon.

I was puzzling over the best way to round out Class Warfare Week on WSO when Forbes dropped it into my lap last night - the annual Forbes 400 List of Wealthiest Americans. What better way to illustrate the wealth disparity in America than the vaguely pornographic financial exposure of our ruling class?

America is a nation of believers. Yet, for all the lip service we pay as a nation to an unemployed contractor from Galilee and various other institutional deities, these guys are our country's real gods. And they are worshiped as such, because they hold the promise of redemption. Redemption from your wanting. Redemption from your less-than-ideal circumstances. Redemption from all the evils and injustices you believe your lack of wealth has heaped upon you.

The richest 1% of the nation controls 42.7% of our nation's financial wealth, yet the other 99% of the nation defends them tooth and nail against any attempts at a more equitable distribution. When you understand why, you know the true nature of the American dream and the mythology none among us is willing to question.

"There are more old drunkards than there are old doctors..." - Benjamin Franklin

As if you needed another reason to partake in Wall Street's culture of booze (well, some of you do), a recent 20-year study has concluded that heavy drinkers live longer than people who don't drink at all. So there. You teetotalers in the crowd are probably coming up with all kinds of justifications about how this data is flawed, but you can rest assured that the researchers factored in everything. The fact is, heavy drinkers live longer.

It's official: two years in Paris has made me soft.

I always just took for granted that I could maintain a professional level of gluttony and intemperance, and that my staid lifestyle in the City of Lights was merely the calm between intermittent storms of debauchery. Unfortunately, my week in New Orleans taught me the hard way that excessive consumption is a muscle like any other, and it atrophies from disuse.

After a grueling day of travel where Air France did their dead-level best to ensure my discomfort (c'mon guys, I'm travelling with a 5 & 6-year old and you're going to give me seat assignments in 3 different sections of the plane? Seriously???), I was ecstatic to pull into the Daiquiri's drive-thru. That's right, kids. The drive-thru.

Andy note: "Blast from the past - Best of Eddie" - This one is originally from June 2010 . If there's an old post from Eddie you'd like to see up again shoot me a message.

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's the best they're going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra

Summer is upon us, and on those rare occasions that you find yourself with time off while the sun is still shining, few drinks put you in a better mood than the storied margarita. Like everything else in life, however, there is a right and a wrong way to "do" a margarita. Consider this a public service post to educate the younger and less experienced drinkers in our fair forum. It was inspired by a pretty hilarious drunken conversation I had with Patrick last night.

The first step in making a proper margarita is to take a quick trip to the bathroom. Casually drop trou and see if you notice a pair of testicles down there. Got 'em? Congratulations! You'll be taking your margarita on the rocks. Nothing looks quite as ridiculous as a grown man sipping a frothy blender drink. Save yourself the embarrassment. The only thing worse is a guy drinking some neon Cosmo, Appletini, Lemon Drop nonsense.