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What's the dumbest thing you've seen on a resume?
I wanna collect all of the stories in this thread and read them throughout my last years of life, so that at least I'll die on a good note, but not from boredom. Feel free to join, thanks a lot for every comment!
Crude Jokes / Quotes Let's hear 'em!
Two of my favorites What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip! What is the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until you are a teen to come on your face.
US Treasury Recruits from Nike's Marketing Department [Funny]
https://imgur.com/TQ3h9vx yes I know this is not really S&T , but I'm too amused to care. Anyways, give me bananas and share. Thanks
Extremely Robust Growth Projected - 132 hour work week
All right, fellow monkeys. I'm on the tail end of a 132-hour workweek, so just a brief post today. So there I was, middle of the night, massaging an industry growth chart into an artificially-rosy picture that makes our pitch more attractive (a procedure that many of you will be familiar with). The...
Adam the Analyst - Episode 1: Introduction
Mod Note (Andy): Throwback Thursdays - this was originally posted 09/2010 PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD (facebook, Twitter, e-mail links below). Missed other episodes? see the links below: Episode 2: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/adam-the-analyst-episode-2-banker-m… Episode 3:...
Silly Shit Interns Do
Mod Note (Andy): Throwback Thursday - This was a originally posted in June 2012 So the interns are out in full force. Hoards of them. (Before I get into this-- I have no idea why they are called "SA's" these days- they will always be interns to me.) I digress. I'm going to keep this brief and to the...
Worst typos in work documents or presentations
When I was an intern where I am at now I was working on an internal training piece with co-workers for the Bank I am at. We were talking about how outside vendors conduct tests to try and find weaknesses in our controls. We were modifying the slide after running through it in our department we were...
Adam the Analyst - Episode 5: What is Your Biggest Motivation?
Moderator Note (Andy): Throwback Thursdays - This was originally posted on 9/20/2010 Episode 1: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/adam-the-analyst-episode-1-introduc… Episode 2: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/adam-the-analyst-episode-2-banker-m… Episode 3:...
Adam the Analyst - Episode 3: My Mom Loves Bankers
Mod Note: Throwback Thursdays - This was originally posted on 9/20/2010 Please spread the word. Missed earlier episodes? see the links below: Episode 1: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/adam-the-analyst-episode-1-introduc… Episode 2:...
You Said What???
Fellow Monkeys: Throughout our entire course of being in the workforce, we all have come across some pretty "interesting" people and how they react to their bosses. Those coworkers who overreact, exaggerate, you name it. Specifically and simply, those coworkers who would just say downright stupid...
Prime Brokerage Stories: Getting the Drawer
This is the sixth in a series called “Prime Brokerage Stories,” real life experiences from a close family member who worked in this area of the Street for 30 years. For an introduction to PB so it all makes sense, see here: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/blog/what-is-prime-brokerage Last time I...
Daily Show - Old clip but thought it was pretty funny
The Daily Show Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes , The Daily Show on Facebook
Can a sense of humor be learned or is it innate?
Any thoughts?
29 Dumb Things Finance People Say
Came across the write up and though the writer is hard pressing and stretching the limit at places, but at all a bad compilation !!! Any other vague n idiotic statements ever thrown at you during your career.... http://www.businessinsider.com/29-dumb-things-finance-people-say-2013-11
#ASKJPM
Talk about a loud slap on its face, you slipping on a banana follwed by 30 people laughing and you sneaking out the back door only to find its raining outside......probably a really bad joke to begin a discussion but guess it captures the bad joke that JPM played on itself with its twitter...
If you could be any animal, what would you be?
This is a real interview question. Watching the video below before answering is mandatory:
Women: 3 Reasons Your Jokes Suck in The Office
In the workplace setting, females are much less likely to receive positive reception after telling a joke than males are. Why is this? According to Dr. Judith Baxter (linguist expert), it is due to a couple factors, the first of which being the difference in type of humor used. Males typically use...
Cheesiest Movie Quotes
Happy Sunday, monkeys! Time for a few laughs. You know there are always those parts in a movie (sometimes a truly excellent movie) that makes you raise an eyebrow and say, "Did he really just say that?" This is a very fun video by the same creators of "100 Greatest Movie Insults," posted here...
Funny WSO threads?
Welcome to WallStreetOasis's collection of funny threads, we think you'll have a hearty laugh at what's found here. Disclaimer: WSO does not wish to make fun of any person and welcomes questions of all kinds. By posting your thread to the humor section, we merely thought the responses were...
Does Anyone Remember the Website: Take A Report
Many many years ago the Greatest humor site ever created for all of Wall Street types existed under the name of www.TakeAreport.com (TAR). Named after the slang phrase signifying that an individual's trade order has been executed. "Take a report" is also trader slang for "get out of my face" or...
Bottle of Absolut in 15 seconds...
This guy is a madman.
Goldman Sachs vs. The Muppets
Muppets vs. Goldman Sachs from Neal McDonough
How it works at WSO
I believe there is no introduction needed. Enjoy! (Original size looks best)
Jeremy Lin One Liner
"For all of those that keep talking about Jeremy Lin getting Cut from GS , that's BS , Goldman Sachs wanted him bad"
New Hampshire Democratic Primary; or The Greatest Political Troll Alive [Video]
Actual footage from a Democratic pre-primary debate in New Hampshire. This is Vermin Supreme and he is the only troll I have ever seen rival the early work of Sasha Baron Cohen. Here's hoping we can finally have a political thread everyone can enjoy...
Friday Morning Monkeyshines
Wall Street culture has always been portrayed by the media as that of greed, ruthless competition, and gross apathy towards others. Nothing could be further from the truth. Fact is your typical Tim Sykes-like douchebag is in the minority, while your average monkey is usually the amicable, fun-loving...
I want to work at Goldman Sachs - Pretty funny
My friend sent me this. Thought it was pretty funny.
Banker Meets Football Coach Video
Another great video from http://beedeekay.com/. Especially for those of us in NY/NJ moaning about the new stadium ticket cost.
Mr. P and the Abacus
Props to Conspicuous Cynic for this timely explanation of the Abacus crisis at Goldman:
The Deal Maker Video - Private Equity
...thought some of you might find this mildly amusing. I still feel like the Damn it Feels Good to be a Banker is the ultimate classic (2nd video below)
"Paid To Do It, But Fails To Make His Friend's Wife Pregnant After 72 Attempts"
Check out this story. A court judge must decide on a case of honorable intentions in a situation where a man hired his neighbor to get his wife pregnant. Seriously, you guys need to read this short (and hilarious) story. I guess he should of done what a normal, sterile man would do... adopt!
Need a laugh?
One of my friends who works in brokerage sent this to me while I was at work. As I am sitting at my desk, I started literally laughing out loud. So for all of you out there that are at work and need a laugh, watch!
Wall St. Buzzword Tournament - And The Winner Is....
Inspired by the post Which Office Buzzwords Do You Hate the Most? , I thought it would be fun to hold a Tournament to try and see which Buzzwords we really hate most on Wall Street. The committee has thought long and hard about these seeds and I apologize to those buzzwords that were snubbed...
I want the private equities! Wharton Follies 2010
Who is Jefferies?
I was on the phone today. Me: They are being acquired by Jefferies . Former Boss: What? They're being acquired? For that little? Oh my god. It was 5x EBITDA in 2004! By they way, who even is Jefferies? Have a good weekend.
The Bullpen Report - Where are the founders?
Does anybody know who were the authors of The Bullpen Report (funny newsletter about banking that was around back in 2006-2007) and how to get in touch with them? I am trying to find their contact info but their site is down and I can't get the contact info from the domain (hidden). Any thoughts /...
The Case Interview - from Wharton Follies 2010
How do people react when you tell them you are an Investment banker?
To your friends, or girls in the club, or random people you meet? Are they impressed if you say you are a M&A investment banker with Goldman, Morgan, Merrills, JPMoran, etc.? What reactions have you received?
Gallows Humor
Forwarded from a friend at Citi (market caps are a bit outdated): Gallows humor: Wall Street might have lost tons of money, but that doesn't mean traders have lost their ability to laugh. Some faves making the rounds: * What's the definition of optimism? - An investment banker who irons five shirts...
Comical Response
Thought id share this. So one of my buds works for a fund of funds group in chicago and had a phone interview with a kid from UVA. So he begins asking the kid what an arbitrage was and wanted an example of a possible strategy and the kid gives a mcdonalds example. LoL i guess he said something along...
I Hope Not
I thought I would share this becuase I found this particularly humerous. I went to grab coffee with one of my fellow classmates who works for a boutique now and his manager and two co-workers came along. When engaging in greetings, one fellow states his first name followed by "Harvard Grad". Is this...
Did LSO Retire?
Does anyone know if LSO has retired? His last big post was in October, and he did a few small ones in November. His last main post smacked of a farewell. Has anyone else heard?
Overheard in the elevator
I'm on the elevator this morning, woozy from not enough sleep, headed up to my floor. There are two older women on the elevator with me. They're talking. "... But you have to watch what he eats. You can't let him have McDonald's for lunch or anything." "No, I try to give him something lighter. Keep...
The joys of earnings season
Ah, earnings season. There’s nothing like it. Earnings season is the two-week period when, one after another, all the companies you’ve been assigned to cover announce their quarterly results, slamming you with extra work and causing no end of trouble with the summary sheets....
Alternative careers - Good alternatives to banking?
There've been a couple of posts on this board about good alternatives to banking. Some of you think consulting is better, or law school, or the Special Forces, or what have you. Well, I want to put my two cents in. If I could go back in time and make all my choices again, I wouldn't be an analyst....
Analyst to Staffer Translation Handbook
I put this together for all you Class of '07 monkeys to help you with your transition. Enjoy. Recruitment Work-life balance Work-drinking balance Work hard, play hard Work hard, drink a lot We have a collegial environment. We go out drinking every night together. We like to have our own social...
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