Yet more fun with resumes

Mis Ind — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 18:52:55 -0400

Since I'm now recruiting for a boutique wealth management firm rather than a bulge bracket investment bank, I'm seeing a whole new type of resumes. Some of them are quite funny, and you all know me -- I love to share.

Since people in the past have been upset by my posting humorous responses to the drek I read in resumes, I considered just posting the drek this time and omitting the humor. However, it just didn't seem as useful. The point is that this stuff doesn't sound that funny until you're a recruiter looking at your fortieth resume of the day -- and in order to submit a good resume, you need to understand your recruiter's point of view. Here we go.

Mis Ind's firm is hiring

Mis Ind — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 19:10:55 -0400

Analyst and pre-MBA associate positions open. Very tightly-knit boutique ultra-HNW wealth management firm in the Bay Area with a great work environment and awesome people (nicer than me, I promise). It's a truly one-of-a-kind firm -- no marketing, no sales; we've got far more demand than we can service. Clientele is primarily Silicon Valley with some New York and LA. 8-15 clients per associate compared to 40 or more for many ultra-HNW associates.

Where I've been

Mis Ind — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:41:59 -0400

There's been a bit of speculation as to why I've been so quiet recently, so for anyone who cares:

I left investment banking (which many people saw coming) and went to a small boutique wealth management firm that works with clients in the $100-$500 million range. Feel free to throw tomatoes, look down on my choice, or tell me I'm throwing away my life if you so desire, but do understand that I modeled it all out thoroughly and I have my reasons. I'm overjoyed at this opportunity, and at the fact that I get my life back.

A summer experience at Goldman Sachs

Mis Ind — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 10:06:11 -0400

Thought you guys might appreciate this. I found it on a torn-out journal page at Ulysses when I was over there seeing a friend a couple days ago. I wonder if anyone knows someone who might have written it?

June 5, 2006: My first day at Goldman Sachs! I trembled as I stepped through the holy doors into the temple of global finance. The lobby was cool and hushed and everything was made of marble and gold, just like I always knew it would be. I walked through the lobby with my head held high. It was the proudest moment of my life so far. When I got into the elevator I pushed every button, knowing that somehow, at some time, the legendary banking masters I read about had pushed some of those very same buttons. The other people on the elevator looked at me, seemingly with great approval for my ardent, respectful behavior. Amazing! I was already making a good impression on the bankers of Goldman Sachs! As the elevator rose through the clouds into the great historic tower, I secretly slipped my button-pushing fingers into my mouth. Yes! I could taste the culture of success!

Sample GPAs

Mis Ind — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 17:26:29 -0400

Since we've had so much talk about what GPA you need from a target versus a non-target, here are thirty-five random samples from a recent resume book. All of these people are now analysts. This is a random sample; no cherry-picking to try to drive scores up or down. I've rounded to the nearest tenth to prevent easy identification. If you're looking to get in, you might consider this representative of the level of competition. Draw your conclusions as you like.

Putting all doubts to rest

Mis Ind — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 11:43:36 -0400

Okay, monkeys. So that I need not spend more time fielding folks' doubts, here you go. Seanc, this is particularly for you.

http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u111/MisInd/Aintplaying.jpg

So in this photograph, which I just took, you have the following:

Statue of Liberty in background -- proves my apartment is in Lower Manhattan.

Diamond Nationals Black Belt 1st place trophy from 1998.

Chinese Wall?

Mis Ind — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 14:11:39 -0400

Uh oh. I think we have a potential Chinese Wall violation here... did you run this by Legal, Nychimp? We can't ever let Research talk to banking without lawyers being present. We could get shut down!

Banker Psychology

Mis Ind — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 09:31:01 -0500

IBOers: I want to explore our motivations here, because I think it might bring clarity to readers in general. I want this to be an open-ended general conversation, so please feel free to muse.

Has anyone noticed that this board's conversation often centers around discerning "the best" of whatever: the best suit brands, the best group, the right colors, the right cars, the right style, cuffed or uncuffed, ECM or DCM, product or industry. Rank these groups, these banks, these shirt styles, these schools, these types of girls.

"Street-wide" changes in investment research availability?

Mis Ind — Fri, 19 Jan 2007 15:15:59 -0500

Analysts:

The news being fed to us here is that due to some collapsed partnerships over the past couple of months, there has been a street-wide change to the way investment research is shared/bought. I'm not sure how much truth is in this. Anyone else experiencing drastically reduced research availability?

FYI, we went from having all research to having a very limited assortment of research, with a brand new process in place by which we have to request/justify/struggle with our overseas data shop at four in the morning so that eventually, someday, they might deign to send us the report we wanted.

Going to vent now.

Mis Ind — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 18:40:21 -0500

Okay, time to vent.

This may sound lame, but I've got a kinda important fun thing to do at home tonight, which I have looked forward to for a while. (Those of you who do the same thing, don't let others in on it, please; I'm not quite ready to be outed as THAT much of a total lamer.) I get all my work done early. I turn all my comments by 4 PM. I'm hoping it'll be one of those magical days when I can slip out at 5:30 and be done with it all for the night.