Thought Banana
As If They Need More Attention
Not that he or his companies get a whole lot of media attention or anything, but little-known entrepreneur and professional sh*t-poster Elon Musk got the people going at yesterday’s investor conference for a small EV company known as Tesla.
Lmao. Anyway, Musk for sure loves the spotlight, but at yesterday’s Investor Conference, the Tesla chief seemed to make it a point to highlight other execs along the way. In years past, Musk has masterfully run the conference himself, using tactics like smashing the windows of his own car with rocks to show how “strong” they are in order to excite buyers.
Yesterday, however, Musk passed the mic more than ever. Plenty of other execs got stage time to spit game about the latest developments at the firm within their own lines of business. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest announcements:
Next-Gen Car: Arguably, the company’s whole lineup is already “next-gen,” but Musk did tease the long-rumored vehicle at yesterday’s conference. Analysts have been expecting the new car to hit the road by 2025, and that basically stayed the same.
Software: Autopilot software lead Ashok Elluswamy took the stage to let us know that approx 400k customers do not care about safet—I mean, bought Tesla FSD (full self-driving) thus far. Ashok (great name, btw) also hyped up the importance of all vehicle software as a route to a competitive advantage in the market.
Say “Hi,” Optimus: That creepy humanoid robot thing made an appearance as well, unfortunately. Musk displayed the company’s robot that plans to take your job in the next few years and probably your wife and kids within the next decade. He still says that Tesla’s robot biz could be bigger than its cars.
Charging Subscription: Musk knows how much you love paying all those subscriptions every single month and has decided to give you another one as Tesla plans to launch their very own. Texan Tesla owners will soon be able to charge their cars overnight in their homes for just $30/month. It might sound like a lot, but remind me what you spent at the gas station last month?
Giga Mexico: I’m convinced the company doesn’t give a single f*ck about actually selling cars, just making them. Along that note, Musk confirmed during the Q&A that Monterrey, Mexico, will be the lucky winner of the company’s newest production facility, known as the “gigafactories.” Shrouded in secrecy that Musk will almost definitely leak on Twitter at some point, Giga Mexico will be the production site for that next-gen car we shoutout above.
Obviously, there was a lot more going on. The key takeaways from the event include the following:
- Tesla is more than just Elon Musk as the company’s star-studded management team was shown off in full force, seemingly to assuage concerns that Elon’s antics at Twitter would harm the car company
- Production, production, production—and not just cars. Tesla reminded everyone that when it comes to getting products online and out the door, no one does it better. And if that’s not enough, Optimus and Giga Mexico entering the scene soon better be.
- The firm is getting creative around revenue (no, not like Enron or Worldcom) as it launches driving subscriptions in more ways than one. Can’t wait to see how I get robbed next!
Musk and Tesla’s MO tends to center around “overpromise, then under-deliver in the short term, then finally radically over-deliver in the long run.” We’ll see if they can keep that train rolling.
The big question: Should Tesla be assigned the same earnings multiple as a car company when it has all this going on? What other innovations will this car company bless the market with? How different does Tesla look in 2033 as opposed to right now?
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