Creepy MD - what do I do?
Female monkey here. Started a few months back as an analyst at a mid-tier BB (think UBS/Citi/DB). Have gotten a slightly weird feeling from one of the MDs in the group since I started. Nothing too crazy but I always catch him staring at me and looking away like he didn't want me to notice. Last week, he left a comment in a cell on one of the models that I've been working on: "let me take you out to dinner cutie, lol". Not sure how I should approach this situation given that I would prefer to keep my job and like everyone else in the group. Should I tell HR? Speak to the MD directly? Any advice appreciated
Would probably just give into it tbh. Game recognize game, gotta give props where it is due - Sneaky message in a cell is elite.
How tf is it sneaky if other can view the model as well
have the dinner, md sounds like a great guy!
Hi md
Hi md
Since he left a written trail, you could use that to follow up with him and say you're not interested (I'm assuming you're not interested in going out with him) If he asks you out again that'll be considered harassment and you could go to HR then, but keep that file where he left the comment as proof. Also, better to talk to lawyer about this than this forum.
Lawyers have other more important things to attend to lol
Counter baller move would be to reply with a rejection in the excel comment. Everyone sees it and you have the e-trail.
Counter baller move would be to reply with a rejection in the excel comment. Everyone sees it and you have the e-trail.
game is game
Bump, similar situation
this is such a woman classic lol. You not reciprocating is 100% fine but why do you label him as creepy? he didn't even approach you directly
Congrats, based on your response you deserve the same label.
low quality and discriminatory response.
I'm in agreement here this is a woman classic
dawg
What kind of incel logic is this? It is absolutely inappropriate behavior on the MDs part. He sounds like a major loser. The OP is not his “cutie” she is a professional in a work setting. He is playing with fire.
OP - save that file and that comment. Reply no thanks in the file, time stamped and tell him to please call you by name in future.
If he is dumb enough to continue - talk to a senior you trust and take it to HR.
so many weirdos in finance, it amazes me daily
This. Finance is filled with beta cucks
I agree it's unprofessional, but it does NOT fit the criteria of creepy. IB truly is not for the most intellectually gifted
This
This is the craziest MS:SB ratio I've seen 🤣🤣🤣🤣 You OK bro?
nope, will mention you in my suicide note though
I think this behavior is 100% unacceptable. An MD pulling this shit on an analyst is really offside IMO. I don't think I need to go into the creepiness given the power dynamic.
Couple of paths you could take but think a straight up "hey, not interested" private convo with MD is the way to go. But highly highly recommend holding on to that note in some way just in case the behavior escalates. Post convo, try to be vigilant about changes in behavior, staffing, reviews etc. A quick look at some of these comments should tell you why. I swear we need to stop filling seats with virgin finance club hardos.
Above is the way to go. A discreet but direct "not interested". But prior to that, backup the evidence. Also inform a trustworthy colleague in case you need corroboration later. If the MD doesn't get the message, be prepared to report him. Plenty of people here will want to be the MD. They think it's a workplace perk. Women like you are needed to make them rethink. Good luck and do discuss this with a close friend/family member since this can be a stressful period.
I disagree on discreet. Put it in the excel comments time stamped as simple as “‘no thanks, not interested” done, now it’s not a he said she said convo.
also - if you are in nyc it’s legal to record a convo with someone with only one side consent (yours), if you do talk to them over the phone or in person consider using your iPhone to record the audio.
Agreed.
That sounds like “A” quality rizz.
Did you remove the comment before sending to the team or client? That would have been the counter play.
A quality counterplay would've been to send it to a female client and set them up if you aren't interested
Yeah ngl, it’s quite odd behavior to send your coworkers little notes like that
Would definitely be very uncomfortable for anyone to be receiving those, especially if it’s numerous ones
Agree with one of the posters above that a quick “hey, not interested in you” convo would be a helpful start.
"let me take you out to dinner cutie, lol"??
this has got to be satire.
If he looked like Ryan Gosling the response from OP would be
"OMG, this MD asked me out. Look how cute/awkward he is lol. should I say yes"
Chads can be weird/awkward and its "cute" and endearing. But be a balding/skinny fat MD and he's "creepy"
Its a chad's world
this is harsh but true lol. even cutthroat high-finance women exhibit an inability to recognize this.
How is this your first thought?? I don't understand how anyone, even a fellow analyst, would think this is the right way to go about asking someone out?
Yeah only a fucking virgin would say that. No, not all girls want to be approached by a man 10-15 years their senior in a power-position. Aside from that being potentially romantically undesirable in itself (it is inherently awkward and attention-drawing being that analyst dating the MD), any ambitious young woman is going to be cognizant of the risks of getting involved with a man who can in very meaningful ways make or break her position at the firm.
Truth
This is harsh but you need to hear it.
This will NOT be the last time you get asked out by a coworker or client (across all ranks above, below, and equal to you). You need to figure out how you plan to navigate these situations because your success in a male dominated workplace such as IB/PE depends on it.
Do you politely but firmly tell them you are not interested and move on/ignore it?
Do you decide to immediately involve HR?
Ask any senior woman that made it in wallstreet/corporate america that is remotely attractive. They had to develop thick skin and learn to firmly reject men without it causing drama and issues.
I am not telling you to overlook actual harassment. That's wrong and you don't need to be subjected to that. But interested men (even those who may be higher ranking than you) asking you out WILL happen in the future and you can either make it an HR issue each time(which you have EVERY right to do so), or simply learn to be a professional badass female who learns to handle it herself.
It's not fair, but this is the cross you will have to bear (consider it a tradeoff for not having to register for the selective service and worry about getting your face blown off in a foreign war).
game is back
Obviously the only thing to do is send him an e-mail saying "comments attached, thx" with a scanned PDF of the latest deck with "NO" written across the title in lipstick
Even though this is probably a troll post, it is pretty funny.
I was 6 years old when I started creep'n
Why do we get daily fanfiction now of situations that obviously didn’t happen?
What exactly would be this fanfiction of? Did something like this actually happen?
A MD actually hitting on someone who works for them. It definitely has happened and it definitely does happen, but this story is also definitely bullshit.
This story is also bullshit: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/off-topic/what-happened-to-chival…
This story is also bullshit: https://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forum/off-topic/hired-just-for-diversity
People are using the off topic forum for made up rage bait stories.
Too much free time at work.
Highly inappropriate behavior on the MD's part.
Only on WSO would an MD hit on an analyst via an excel spreadsheet.
Woman here- and many many years more experience. You have 2 options- and IMO going to the MD and saying not interested as an analyst isn’t really the one I would expect you to chose- too fraught. I would do this 1) take a snippet and save it/email to your personal email 2) delete it and say nothing. If something happens again- now you have a pattern- you go to HR. It’s not on you to confront this loser who certainly should know better and is in the position of power from a seniority and age perspective.
What if a female analyst randomly sends something like that to her coworkers?
There was some girl in my friends group who supposedly would do stuff like that
What’s an MD doing in a model?
Lol could def see an analyst sending something like this though
Didn’t get enough attention on TikTok and IG?
1. Why would an MD be in the model?
2. If you hit on an analyst as an MD, you’ve definitely hit on multiple people before. Why would an MD leave a paper trail visible to everyone if he wanted to hit on a junior?
Intolerable behavior if it’s real, but it’s not even well thought out.
It's fake, makes 0 sense
I’d sleep my way to the top, but that’s just me
god knows I’ve done more degrading things for my job
Firstly, I feel bad for you for having this experience. The odd but good news as others have noted is that he foolishly documented his attempt in a way that is visible. Do yourself a massive favor, save that version down in a folder on your local desktop and make sure you have it saved somewhere else just in case. The next thing I would do, assuming you don’t want to be involved with this MD over dinner in any romantic way is to politely let him know that you are not interested. You can reply to his email saying that you recieved his message and if he wants to discuss the model or other work related details with you over coffee then you are open to that idea but are uncomfortable with getting dinner. This will document a polite way of basically saying no to his advance while also protecting you from any blowback on his part. I would also send an email to HR asking what to do after an employee has asked you out and you have said no. Act like a clueless person, so HR doesn’t research this, but enough that it is documented in case you need to complain later on.
I’ve had a similar experience at a similar bank. Please pm me if this is real.
The scariest part is that he might have done this to other women. Also, rejecting him might backfire into making your work life miserable. If there is another woman in the IB group (maybe not an MD) but an associate or a VP that are not necessarily close to the MD, tell them and ask them what to do about it. They might know of other instances of the MD doing this and probably have a good solution.
It shouldn’t be like this and you should be able to report to HR and have him fired, but we are not in that world, so here’s another solution:
another way of hinting the MD to stop is joking about it but letting them know it’s a no from you so nothing happens to your career:
“haha I can’t do dinner, my boyfriend is waiting for me”
“Aren’t you married with kids? Hahaha”
“Sorry, I have an age limit”
“I saw your note! How funny, you shouldn’t leave stuff that’s connected to the server and anyone can see. You might get in a lot of trouble”
“I saw your note but I’m young enough to be your daughter, so let’s not forget that”
I wouldn't tell another person (even if female) on the team about it unless OP has collected solid evidence and patterns of this occurring, and knows the confidante is someone she can trust. Given that OP has only been at this firm for a few months, this could backfire, and the MD could easily make up an excuse to cover this up or backtrack if he finds out OP does not reciprocate.
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