What is stressing you out?

I just graduated from college and am moving to a new place in about two months. I only know two people and am starting my first real job. I also still need to figure out where I wanna live and buy a car (almost done). I'm concerned it's gonna be hard to make new friends or I'll suck at my job hard or I end up hating the area.

Just started new job in different sector and it’s quite complex. Don’t know where to learn all the concepts, unsure what to do when stuck, stressed trying to get everything done well 

Ignore username - PE Associate at $5B-$10B fund but about year into PE stint after 2 years banking. Think the existential thought / realization that I’ll need to really crank another 7-10 years to achieve financial independence & likely 15 for life in Tier 1 city

Growing up in household that didn’t make much $ + parents w/ heated arguments related to $ engrained that I didn’t want those problems in my future. That being said, I know I don’t want to be 100% career focused and sacrifice health / social development of my 20s

The stupidity of Americans about completely abandoning reason (most of it was done to them and not their fault) and intellectual honesty for dogmas

Job search / recent disease diagnosis 

If anyone just needs to vent/talk through things with a random person who won't judge, PM me

My personal life.  I did some things and screwed up my life badly.  I won't even be able to figure out if I'm single or not, or if I have a dog for another month.

Mortgage rates.  I bought assuming a second smaller income helping with the mortgage, and to refinance down from 6.5% relatively quickly.  The finances are fine with my income, but I'd really like to be able to imagine that I could still swing it if I had to move to a much worse job, which I can't unless I am able to knock another couple hundred K off the principal and get them to recalculate the monthly from that.

a mix of jobs and personal things, though i suspect the job situation and resulting 'depression' is spilling over:

- gained ~30 lbs since i started work and have wrecked my workout discipline, as well as overall daily routine (former gymbro, consistently 5-6x/week since 2018)

- realized a few months in to my job that i don't see myself in this role. basically a master or noneand nowhere near as much investment/market focused as I was led on to believe (internship was bs, not full picture of the work). my background, (both academic and professional) just feels like a fish out of water in my role

- the scope and mindset of the ppl around me feels so limited...i don't feel confident sharing my personal ambitions with my co-workers, but I want to move to nyc and lateral to something more intellectually stimulating...i would happily work 2x the hours for something i found more interesting and could continue learning more about. really feel like i need a mentor who can help provide some guidance on how I can get there

- toxic VP has weird pseudo micro-managing behaviour. also keeps trying to gauge if i want to remain in my role. i always deflect, but am getting tired of it. 

- feel like i could be dedicating more time after work and on weekends on development towards getting into a new role (i.e modelling, studying concepts better, networking, etc.)

- have a skin thing that could be life threatening, will know in a few weeks time

- 0 LP hardstuck plat 1 in TFT

if anyone wants to air grievances out, feel free to PM, won't judge :)

Kid underway, recently informed I am being considered for mgmt at work = more hours and less family time. Wife not impressed.

Some additional personal hiccups to add to that.

My bitch wife.

Honestly, I think the uncertainty of the future gets to me sometimes. 

New job, selling house, buying house.

Recent MBA grad.

Still job searching - sort of bothering me but not so much. Going for an industry that is doing fairly okay right now despite the down economy. Recruiting is a bit down but I'm confident I'll land a decent job paying at least ~100K within the next 6-9 months.

Some personal life issues came up these past two months that have been honestly causing a lot of stress. Will be an ongoing issue for possibly multiple years / rest of my life. May limit my career because of how accessible I need to be to address them (especially geographically).

Fomo basically.

Maintaining my reputation as a quality Junior. I’m very hard on myself.

Taking on increased responsibility and exposure gracefully and with quality. I’m now doing a weekly update to a division head which is testing my ability to come up with meaningful insights and my public speaking chops.

Engagement logistics.

Family is fragmented. Minimal sense of home. My girlfriend at times feels like the only one who loves me unconditionally.

The big questions. Aging, death, legacy.

What’s been stressing you out? 

• Job: recently promoted to senior partner which has me relocating closer to family. This is a great thing but there is a significant jump in responsibilities and expectations that add stress. Hoping its a short-term adjustment and after the move I settle in.
• Wife: found out she was pregnant right when we closed on the new house at a huge mortgage rate. We are over the moon but the timing ain't great (rarely is with these things I supposed), With timing of the move I fear she will have challenges finding a new job and I'll be sole provider. The finances check out but the margin for error is near zero. She is great and frankly keeping me sane in this period of transition. She's a career woman and her income helped provide a great life.
• Family: it's been a couple years since a significant loss in the family. Some are copping well, others are not. I feel it is my responsibility to be the beacon of stability and support for my family. Family is great, unhealthy dependences are not - I'm in pursuit of a healthier balance. 
• Wealth/Money: never feel truly comfortable. Not necessarily a bad thing... we have a great rental property that generates positive net cashflow in a coastal town, own the house of our dreams where we will start a family, and generally live fun, interesting lives. That said, the rat race simply never stops and lifestyle creep feels inevitable. We have all these things on paper but always feel poor. The house of cards can all come down at any moment.

Feels good to write this stuff out sometimes. I realize my stresses are to an extent first world problems but whatever.

Parents and grandparents are in great health, my siblings and I graduated with good degrees and make decent money and are on the path to be quite successful (knock on wood). My dad made it big in the corporate world; but he gets so worried and anxious sometimes (has a history of it, comes and goes) and it kind of eats away at me. I hope I can be there for them to help but my life getting so busy I don't feel like always spending my free time around them when they aren't in a good headspace. And it's not founded in reality either, which is the really annoying part, on paper everything looks good. I get really angry/annoyed because of it sometimes but always feel bad about doing that afterwards.

• Managing my parent's assets/financial and other affairs, and she may be leaving the country so a lot of it from a tax perspective is up in the air.
• A lot of my close friends are getting/got married recently, so I'd be lying if I wasn't feeling jealous, but I think I'm doing an ok job of not stressing out about it too much, I'm basically starting a LDR with someone who's moving here for a semi high profile role which is interesting and she's very sweet so far.
• The above notwithstanding, I'm debating whether to go to grad school, and then that may also dictate whether I'd say in my current area or move.
• I like my current place a lot, but it's not really for 2 people or a couple starting a family, so I'm trying to think ahead about where I would want to start a family. Rates being where they are is not great too.

My dad said he'd cut me off after only paying for my car college house and getting me a job

Turning 30 next month, which has me reconsidering just about everything. 

Work in acquisitions for REPE at MM fund in Tier 1 city (not NYC). Feel pigeonholed in my career and city. Feel a little undercompensated annually, but I do have what could be significant a carry position. Fundraising has been underwhelming this year, so are these golden handcuffs even worth it? Time is slipping to do something crazy and different, and I feel at times like I am wasting my life in a city I often hate where my friends continue to move away. I've always regretted not living in NYC - is it still worth it?

In the best, most loving relationship of my adult life - is she the one? How does the future look? She's not perfect, but neither am I. Is there something better? Is that arrogant / ignorant / ungrateful to ask?

Live away from my family. Parents aging, siblings starting families of their own, and I want my children's lives (if I even have any) to look like my own, with family all around. Is that possible?

Experiencing more vs settling down. When is enough enough? Different for everyone. I am fortunate to have been to nearly 30 countries and 40 states, and while I don't feel the need to hit 100 countries or whatever, I don't envy my friends getting married and planting roots. 

1) Am I satisfied with my worklife? I get paid enough to live well and have a decent work-life balance, so think I'm just making a fuss about nothing, grass being greener etc. Think I might be on social media too much where there is the constant "look at my life" and think I'm subliminally comparing my life to lame social media people and it makes me dissatisfied.

2) Girl that I loved broke up with me a couple months ago; was my fault. I didn't cheat on her, nor anything close to that realm, but didn't appreciate her enough in some ways. Think it also goes back to the being on social media too much. Can't go on Instagram without seeing models and idk I guess it made me question things. But now, although I do get attention from girls, I just am questioning myself and if I'm really ready to move on. 

3) My grandparents on both sides of family have been aging rapidly, all are high 80's and one is 90 so not surprised, but just makes me sad to see. Really just try to focus on enjoying my time with them while I am with them, but sometimes find that I am becoming upset when I talk to them cause I can just see they are not the grandparents I once had. I know aging is part of life and it's probably the wrong way to look at the situation, but something that bothers me. 

big gap

4) My golf game is not getting better and it's frustrating the hell out of me. God I fucking hate golf sometimes 

What's up Isaiah, always great talking with you man.

Quite a lot stresses me out unfortunately.

-Dating/relationships: In a prior post I was complaining about not finding women to just have casual fun with. Well, it took a few months of experiencing that lifestyle and honesty, I'm over it. I'd love to find someone to be in a relationship with but now I'm back to square one: all I seem to be getting are women in their 30s who want marriage/kids ASAP. Ideally I want someone several years younger than me so we can be together for a while before all the marriage/kids stuff happens but it also sees most women aren't okay with a 7+ year age gap (they are the exception, not the norm). I'm 34 so depending upon who I talk to, I'm "running out of time" to get this part of my life handled.

-Mom's health: My mom has spent two decades being abused by my older sister. She refuses to change anything, my dad doesn't care either. It's sad and I know she is liable to some major health crises soon with all the stress and abuse being that she is almost 70.

-Career: Taking over the family businesses by myself and it's hard to transition when my parents refuse to change anything. We're still doing things in an extremely outdated fashion, so much time is being wasted. I make good money but I also know that this isn't the highest and best use of my time so it's a constant struggle between staying vs. foregoing the income and going somewhere else that would pay me much less but provide me with a better use of my time.

-Health: I take great care of my health but I have dangerously high levels of stress markers and can't seem to find a way to bring these down. It's fairly dire because they indicate massive systemic inflammation that can definitely cause major health problems later in life so I need to solve this.

I fucked around, got a bih pregnant
My lawyer "hola brotha pay me"
Friends locked up, tryna spray me
I got a warrant, somethin' shaking
Seem like I'm all out of blessings
I don't know if God tryna test me
Tryna help a brotha, and he left me
To tell you the truth, I'm stressin'

Falling behind on knowledge compared to my peers on areas outside of work 

Feeling unproductive 

Unsure of how to spend my time after work 

Uncertainty over exit opps

Unfortunately a couple of things keep me more stressed than I'd like, but hey I'm surviving and - hopefully - improving. 

1. Have been fat my entire life, lost a bunch of weight over COVID and stabilized, but still have weight to lose and want to actually get fit.

2. The realization that I don't want to be a banker in the next few years; I dream of entrepreurship but don't know how to achieve these dreams, so right now I'm collecting the paychecks and building my industry knowledge

3. Parents are getting old, and I want to take what vacation time I can get from work to travel with them

4. Love / marriage - think this is self-explanatory

Left my old firm last month since our values no longer aligned and I feel so much lighter. However, job hunting in a new region (Chicago) is harrowing. Waiting to hear back from an offer I wasn't interested in (PWM) and now am curious on and it's nerve wracking. I'm torn between being picky and taking whatever to get me to my dream city and pays alright. 

Trying to get a client to sign a fucking agreement.