Dating as an Investment Banking Analyst

Could someone with experience please comment on the dating life as an analyst? Especially those who started work already with a girlfriend.

Having a Relationship While In Investment Banking

As an analyst at an investment bank, it is well known that you will work hectic hours that can range between 70-100 a week. That being said, our users shared that when it comes to having a relationship while working in banking, it is important to communicate realistic expectations about your work life to your significant other.

monkeyman2010:
It's all about what kind of relationship you have. If you can give him/her realistic expectations and if she/he can live with those standards, shouldn't be a problem.

Our users shared that it is realistic to plan to speak with your significant other 10 - 20 minutes on the phone a day and go out once a week (but sometimes will have to cancel last minute.)

User @CaptK", a private equity partner, shared that while these are realistic expectations - they can be difficult to adhere to:

CaptK - Private Equity Partner:
This is all accurate, but it sounds a lot easier than it actually is in practice. The trouble is that those 10-20 minutes a day are going to be at weird times, and most of the time you'd rather be sleeping.

Plus, if you are able to manage one night a week going out, you're going to want to spend it at least a couple times a month with friends or other analysts from work. There's only so much free time, and you need to spread it around in order to maintain relationships (girlfriend and friendships).

User @ideating" shared how one friend maintained a successful relationship:

ideating:
I had a banker buddy who did it really well during his 2-year stint. At least once a week, he'd have his girl come to his office and they'd grab dinner somewhere nearby and quickly catch up on things. He also frequently sent her flowers (once a month) or buy her little things; nothing extravagant, just enough to show he listened to her. Those gestures take less than 2 min. but go a long way. The other thing he did was make sure she got along really well with us (his friends); most nights we went out with him, she would be there but it wasn't annoying because she really fit in well with us (would act like a wingwoman, do shots, etc.)

User @KB24TD21", an investment banking analyst, shared detailed personal experience about both herself and her boyfriend who are both in the industry:

KB24TD21 - Investment Banking Analyst:
My bf is in the industry and it can sometimes be brutal and it can kill a relationship without a foundation but its about understanding and knowing the other person well. You just have to make sure that each of you understands what’s going on and what is expected. And that you make the most of the time that is available.

So its keeping contact during the day, its calling when you can, its doing things for the other person. If I could I would grab his dry cleaning while doing mine or he would stop by my office area for a quick lunch.

Everything is made easier in my relationship because my bf is friends with my girlfriends and I'm friends with his guys. So he can knock out 2 stones by having me around with his guys. Or he can be around when I'm with my girls. It's hard but doable

You can learn more about the lifestyle of a banking analyst in the video below.

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I understand everyone is different and manages time differently, but could you give a ballpark example of realistic expectations.. ex: talking to her on the phone for 10-20 minutes a day, being able to go out once a week, not being able to control if you have to cancel a date last minute..

I imagine this is what it would be like.. any insight on if this is accurate?

 
The Rainmaker:
I understand everyone is different and manages time differently, but could you give a ballpark example of realistic expectations.. ex: talking to her on the phone for 10-20 minutes a day, being able to go out once a week, not being able to control if you have to cancel a date last minute..

I imagine this is what it would be like.. any insight on if this is accurate?

This is all accurate, but it sounds a lot easier than it actually is in practice. The trouble is that those 10-20 minutes a day are going to be at weird times, and most of the time you'd rather be sleeping. And most of the things happening in your life will revolve around work, so sometimes it can be tough for her to relate. Plus, if you are able to manage one night a week going out, you're going to want to spend it at least a couple times a month with friends or other analysts from work - you've got to stay sane and keep up friendships at work so you don't become the guy that never hangs out. There's only so much free time, and you need to spread it around in order to maintain relationships (girlfriend and friendships).

Not saying it's impossible, but it just takes a special kind of girl to handle it, and frankly a certain type of guy to make that phone call after 2 all nighters and act interested. I've seen several people make it, but I've also seen a lot more than several break up.

- Capt K - "Prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. If you want to make ambitious people waste their time on errands, bait the hook with prestige." - Paul Graham
 

Anyone else appreciate that "eiffeltowered" is giving relationship advice? haha

Jack: They’re all former investment bankers who were laid off from that economic crisis that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have zero real world skills, but God they work hard. -30 Rock

My brother is in IB. He broke up with his gf when he was an analyst. He said he met her twice in a year. They got back together when he was in MBA. He knew associate life was not going to be much different, and asked her to marry him b4 he went for associate. He now works in HK as a 2nd year associate. His wife lives in Boston but is planning on moving to HK this year :-)

 

I'll throw my input in, my bf is in the industry and I won't sugercoat by saying its easy - it can sometimes be brutal and it can kill a relationship without a foundation but its about understanding and knowing the other person well. It's easier in that I'm also trying to do banking so I understand what he has to go through. But you just have to make sure that each of you understands whats going on and what is expected. And that you make the most of the time that is available.

It's funny I didn't really understand how difficult it is till I summered this past year and I saw firsthand how hard it is to balance - when I get back at 2 I'm not calling anyone I'm sleeping. So its keeping contact during the day, its calling when you can, its doing things for the other person. If I could I would grab his dry cleaning while doing mine or he would stop by my office area for a quick lunch.

Have to agree with ideating, the girl has to be friends with you friends. Everything is made easier in my relationship because my bf is friends with my girlfriends and I'm friends with his guys. So he can knock out 2 stones by having me around with his guys. Or he can be around when I'm with my girls. It's hard but doable

 

What if it's a long distance relationship?

Does anyone have experience/anecdotes regarding being in a long distance relationship as an analyst? I'm a girl considering a 2-year analyst stint, but my SO will be in the U.S. I know it will be really difficult.... We have been together for 2 years as students and plan to be together in the long term, so it would be a pity not to give LDR a try. Any tips?

 
cl0ser:
What if it's a long distance relationship?

Does anyone have experience/anecdotes regarding being in a long distance relationship as an analyst? I'm a girl considering a 2-year analyst stint, but my SO will be in the U.S. I know it will be really difficult.... We have been together for 2 years as students and plan to be together in the long term, so it would be a pity not to give LDR a try. Any tips?

You can always give a try, but you will fail most likely. There are always successful stories, but the odds is certainly not optimistic and convincing.
 
cl0ser:
What if it's a long distance relationship?

Does anyone have experience/anecdotes regarding being in a long distance relationship as an analyst? I'm a girl considering a 2-year analyst stint, but my SO will be in the U.S. I know it will be really difficult.... We have been together for 2 years as students and plan to be together in the long term, so it would be a pity not to give LDR a try. Any tips?

I was fortunate enough to pull off a successful 2-years of long distance as an analyst. While I'd like to claim that I was the perfect boyfriend, the truth is it's really up to the non-banker person to make it work. As an analyst, you'll be incredibly busy and generally unavailable all the time. You're always tired, you sometimes miss holidays, and you can't plan more than a few hours in advance. On the upside, you won't be the one dealing with sitting at home by yourself and you won't be the one stood up.

Basically, he needs to have a ton of patience. My girlfriend would get on a plane and visit me about once a month. Often times she would just sit in the office with me for the weekend, and we'd do dinner out on Saturday night. Sometimes we got very unlucky and it was basically airport to office back to airport. Obviously I did my best to get as much done in advance as possible, but sometimes this just doesn't work. Given you will be in different countries, I highly recommend you use skype to video chat to at least feel like you're in the same room. Sometimes my girlfriend and I would sit on the phone while we run errands or set up skype and watch TV.

Overall, if you don't go into it with a very strong foundation, odds are you two won't last. The first 3 - 6 months are the hardest, and that's when 90% of the breakups happened in my analyst class. Just try to have patience with each other and recognize that things will improve ridiculously after the two years are up.

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
CompBanker:
cl0ser:
What if it's a long distance relationship?

Does anyone have experience/anecdotes regarding being in a long distance relationship as an analyst? I'm a girl considering a 2-year analyst stint, but my SO will be in the U.S. I know it will be really difficult.... We have been together for 2 years as students and plan to be together in the long term, so it would be a pity not to give LDR a try. Any tips?

I was fortunate enough to pull off a successful 2-years of long distance as an analyst. While I'd like to claim that I was the perfect boyfriend, the truth is it's really up to the non-banker person to make it work. As an analyst, you'll be incredibly busy and generally unavailable all the time. You're always tired, you sometimes miss holidays, and you can't plan more than a few hours in advance. On the upside, you won't be the one dealing with sitting at home by yourself and you won't be the one stood up.

Basically, he needs to have a ton of patience. My girlfriend would get on a plane and visit me about once a month. Often times she would just sit in the office with me for the weekend, and we'd do dinner out on Saturday night. Sometimes we got very unlucky and it was basically airport to office back to airport. Obviously I did my best to get as much done in advance as possible, but sometimes this just doesn't work. Given you will be in different countries, I highly recommend you use skype to video chat to at least feel like you're in the same room. Sometimes my girlfriend and I would sit on the phone while we run errands or set up skype and watch TV.

Overall, if you don't go into it with a very strong foundation, odds are you two won't last. The first 3 - 6 months are the hardest, and that's when 90% of the breakups happened in my analyst class. Just try to have patience with each other and recognize that things will improve ridiculously after the two years are up.

There's hope, man. Not only did CompBanker pull off a successful LDR, so did JWOWW on Jersey Shore.

 

I started dating a girl a few months ago as a first year. It's pretty brutal, and like someone said, it depends entirely on the non banker in the relationship.

You don't have control over your life really - your Associate->MD does, and the significant other needs to understand that. This girl couldn't understand at first why I had to be on my blackberry all the time.

It's still pretty rough, and while I don' think of myself as a prick too often, it's easy to let it slide and basically be a terrible boyfriend. Don't expect it to last if you don't put some effort into it, because while you dont have much control over your time, the other person isn't going to put up with nothing for very long.

 

It seems to me that Analysts are expected to take any abuse/work regardless of the situation. If you're in a relationship and your girlfriend comes to town once a month, can't you just tell your boss (associate/VP/etc.) that you'd like to spend one evening with her? Or are you expected to keep it to yourself and do all your work as your normally would? I guess I just don't get how it is, being that I haven't started working yet. Can someone explain why it has to be that way?

 

They cut the checks. Any time you spend doing something other than working could potentially cost them business and they sure as hell aren't going to leave any money on the table so you can spend time with your "puppy love". Its your relationship or their wallet .... and I'm pretty sure their wallet has homefield advantage.

All that being said, I've heard of analysts covering for each other every once in a while and even higher ups being okay with you leaving early for a special dinner - I guess it all depends on your group.

 

one of my friends is starting with a BB this summer and he told me that he's breaking up with his gf as soon as he moves to the city lol thats the best way to solve the time/relationship commitments during your first couple of years as an analyst

 

Below are some of my opinions (some reiterations of what others posted and some new). Some caveats: I work at a middle market bank, so my relationships with my superiors might be a tad more collegial than analyst-officer relationships at BB places and my hours are probably better (although they're certainly not amazing); I did the long-distance thing before college, so I was used to not seeing my girlfriend much during the week.

  1. Managing expectations is the most important part. Certainly the person not in banking needs to understand the volatility in your schedule and the demands on your time and energy. It's just as important, though, for the banker to manage his expectations. It's tough in the beginning to know what you can and can't do, so the best attitude to adopt is "make soft plans, but rarely commit to anything definite." Otherwise, you end up scrambling on Friday night to finish something just so you can make dinner plans. Thing is, a lot of times you cancel anyways, disappointing yourself along with your date / friends. Also, a lot of mistakes happen when someone's scrambling to get something done.

  2. I second the "you both have to be friends with each other's friends" argument. I'm not saying you all have to be best friends (although that's ideal), but you should be comfortable knowing that, every now and then, everyone will be just fine if your significant other is with your friends without you.

  3. Show that you care about the relationship. If you suddenly realize you'll have the night off, surprise your girlfriend and take her out to dinner. I know she's not physically logging the hours, but odds are, she's losing a part of her social life to accomodate your hours. She deserves to know you appreciate the effort.

  4. Don't assume you can't take a night off to hang out with your significant other, especially if it's for a special occassion. This will likely be my most controversial point, but a lot of times, projects aren't as urgent as you think they are, and your boss(es) are more understanding than you think they are. Don't ask outright if you can have time off, but ask for timing on deliverables and feel them out on their response. If it's Friday, and they say they want to see something on Sunday, take some time between Friday and Sunday to do something with your significant other (that being said, make sure you do part of the work immediately in case they demand it sooner). Time it so you talk to them when they're in a good mood, because they're more likely to be understanding if they're happy. Also, target a more junior senior calling officer (VP, etc.); don't ask your group head if you can take a Friday night off. Some major caveats here: if you're on a big live deal or on multiple large pitches, this probably isn't as relevant. Your personal relationship with the calling officer matters immensely. Don't try this the first few months on the job when you're still building sweat equity.

  5. Offer to cover for other analysts, and they'll be more likely to do the same for you. Being able to forward another analyst an email with the line "Can you please help me out on this? I'll owe you one." without feeling guilty about it is a huge advantage. Just make sure they know it's a two-way street; otherwise, they might resent you for it.

  6. Try to separate your work and your relationship. Most of your time might be spent at the office, but that doesn't mean you should spend the rest of your time talking about your time in the office. More likely than not, your significant other wants to talk with you about things other than investment banking.

 

Has anyone had a successful experience taking a 'break' from their girlfriend for their analyst years and then getting back together afterwards?

Do things REALLY improve drastically once you move to buyside? I mean, at least initially, I've heard the hours as just as awful. I need to manage expectations so I don't disappoint her after 2 years of making her wait.

 

I did long distance for two years while I was an analyst, which can be similar to a break in some ways. Once I moved to the buyside, my hours were nearly cut in half. While I wouldn't recommend taking a break if you really are interested in staying together, I could definitely see how moving to the buyside could rekindle a relationship that broke apart due to the hours/stress of the IB job.

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
 

Not starting IB (yet) and don't have a girlfriend --but this has been one great post. Keep it up everyone!

One question I had maybe someone can address: What if the girlfriend also has a demanding work job? (i.e. jobs like Big 4 audit, mgmt consulting 60-80 hrs) while the guy is a BB IB Analyst. What's the best way to go about a situation in which both parties work extremely demanding jobs?

 

I'm not gonna say it's impossible, but it's not fun. I did long distance during the analyst stint and was dating the girl in college. We broke up in the first 3-6 months but got back together after about a month apart. Made it to the end of my second year and it had to end. The distance wasn't too far - Boston to NY - but still a hurdle. When you get a free weekend for example, the last thing you'll want to do is hop on a train for a few hours. You're gonna want to go right out with your fellow analysts (or any of your other buddies who are available) and take advantage of your free time. When she visits, you're still going to want to hang with your buddies, re-hash the week, shoot the shit about work, watch sports, and do stuff you enjoy. It's important that you have similar interests and that she gets along with your friends as others have mentioned. The girl I was dating always wanted to do a bunch of things I wouldn't generally do on my own (e.g., museums) and she would generally want to turn it in early when we were out with my friends. Obviously led to a lot of conflict b/c I only wanted to do what I wanted to do with the little free time I had (sounds selfish, but you can't help it when you're working 80+ hours a week) and wanted to stay out as long as humanly possible b/c I valued my nights out.

She also wanted to talk for 15 minutes every night during the week. I understand wanting to stay in touch and hear one another's voice every day, but I just wanted to sleep when I got home and I wasn't really into the idea of taking a break from work and calling her from the office. I'm bad with the phone, but we emailed all the time at work. I felt like talking on the phone every day was redundant b/c we'd always have what felt like conversations via email and got what I felt were all the necessary updates from one another.

Other thing she needs to get used to is killing time in the office while you're working. There's nothing you can do about that. Hopefully she likes reading or can watch movies on an iPad or something b/c she'll be spending a lot of time there when she visits.

It's hard to explain to higher ups that your gf is in town. I never said anything. I'd just try to feel out the urgency of the request by asking what the timing was. If it was right away, the plans with the gf would get rescheduled. If the person sent the request Friday and said they need it by Monday morning, then you know you have some flexibility. I also never felt comfortable asking other analysts to cover for something significant. A lot of times they weren't close enough to the assignments to make that even possible.

In sum, I'd say it's up to the girl to be understanding and make it work. If she can tolerate being second fiddle to your job and hanging out with your buddies when you have free time, I'd say you can make it work.

 

This is quite a scenario to be worrying about. But, how many guys are lucky enough to face this kind of scenario - dating a 10 and landing a BB IBD / MBB consulting offer at the same time?

In the end though, your career >> girlfriend. When you make VP in IBD at GS, you can still end up with tons of hot girls who are into your money and status. A lot of times, getting hot girls is about your dough and your game. One great thing about being a guy is that you can be old(ER) and still get fresh hot girls left and right. Look at Donald Trump and Hugh Hefner.

 

You mention her body looks like Kate Uptons, but what does her face look like? Do not under any circumstance dump her, let her dump you. This will make her feel guilty and she will be back for booty calls.

Harvey Specter doesn't get cotton mouth.
 

Assuming you're not full of shit and are actually dating such a girl, you're almost guaranteed to lose her either way. You're going to be working too much to entertain her (and let's be honest, if she's that hot, she's almost certainly going to be your run of the mill American princess that expects to be doted on). If you take a less demanding job, you'll probably still lose -- you'll have more time to spend with her as a regular 9-5 chump, but you won't be making as much. Her options will increase as she leaves college and starts to get serious about settling down, probably with an older man who makes more than you. If she's not in college, it's sort of a miracle that you're even dating her to begin with unles you have a trust fund.

In fact, not to be brutal, but if you're a regular guy who is "merely" smart and going to a target school or whatever allowed you to land a job at a BB, your relationship with such a woman is probably nothing more than a dating market inefficiency that is on its way to be corrected. Not trying to be a hater, but I've seen that happen a million times.

Fuck her as many times as possible, take some pictures if possible, and then accept the BB job.

 
febreeze:
all depends on the size of your dick bra.

If my dick needed a bra, it would be a DD.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
 

I'd say let her down gently. Calmly explain to her that you have a lucrative offer for a highly sought after front-office position that is simply a better fit than her, but that you'll keep her info on file. This method should be foolproof, unless she counter-offers with the back-office entry-level position...

 

If your girlfriend would let you turn down a great job for her, she's not someone you should want in your life anyway. So take the job and take your chances. It's not like you would be any more appealing if you declined your high-paying corporate job for a less-high-paying corporate job (whatever "cool" factor comes with banking/trading/consulting is pretty trivial and easily outweighed by the personal sacrifices involved).

But Ravenous, your answer... talk about bleak. One the one hand, I see what you're getting at, and yes, there are plenty of women who measure a man's worthiness by the size of his wallet. But on the other hand, it's more than a little bit sad that you'd classify a gorgeous woman dating a guy who doesn't piss money as a "dating market inefficiency." Really? You've never seen a beautiful woman who's dating a surf instructor or an aspiring musician?

The reality is that there are plenty of gorgeous women who don't aspire to marrying some hedge fund douchebag who lives and breathes financial wizardry and empty status symbols (for starters, some of them care about looks, and have no intention of dating a balding chubby guy, even if he's got $20 million in his bank account). But if you're so boring that all that you bring to the table is money - and if you're so boring that you can't even think of criteria besides money by which women assess you - then they're obviously not going to be interested.

One of those lights, slightly brighter than the rest, will be my wingtip passing over.
 
2x2Matrix:
If your girlfriend would let you turn down a great job for her, she's not someone you should want in your life anyway. So take the job and take your chances. It's not like you would be any more appealing if you declined your high-paying corporate job for a less-high-paying corporate job (whatever "cool" factor comes with banking/trading/consulting is pretty trivial and easily outweighed by the personal sacrifices involved).

But Ravenous, your answer... talk about bleak. One the one hand, I see what you're getting at, and yes, there are plenty of women who measure a man's worthiness by the size of his wallet. But on the other hand, it's more than a little bit sad that you'd classify a gorgeous woman dating a guy who doesn't piss money as a "dating market inefficiency." Really? You've never seen a beautiful woman who's dating a surf instructor or an aspiring musician?

The reality is that there are plenty of gorgeous women who don't aspire to marrying some hedge fund douchebag who lives and breathes financial wizardry and empty status symbols (for starters, some of them care about looks, and have no intention of dating a balding chubby guy, even if he's got $20 million in his bank account). But if you're so boring that all that you bring to the table is money - and if you're so boring that you can't even think of criteria besides money by which women assess you - then they're obviously not going to be interested.

Hey I don't apperciate your dispariging tone about hedgefund guys with 8 figure banks accounts!

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
2x2Matrix:
If your girlfriend would let you turn down a great job for her, she's not someone you should want in your life anyway. So take the job and take your chances. It's not like you would be any more appealing if you declined your high-paying corporate job for a less-high-paying corporate job (whatever "cool" factor comes with banking/trading/consulting is pretty trivial and easily outweighed by the personal sacrifices involved).

But Ravenous, your answer... talk about bleak. One the one hand, I see what you're getting at, and yes, there are plenty of women who measure a man's worthiness by the size of his wallet. But on the other hand, it's more than a little bit sad that you'd classify a gorgeous woman dating a guy who doesn't piss money as a "dating market inefficiency." Really? You've never seen a beautiful woman who's dating a surf instructor or an aspiring musician?

The reality is that there are plenty of gorgeous women who don't aspire to marrying some hedge fund douchebag who lives and breathes financial wizardry and empty status symbols (for starters, some of them care about looks, and have no intention of dating a balding chubby guy, even if he's got $20 million in his bank account). But if you're so boring that all that you bring to the table is money - and if you're so boring that you can't even think of criteria besides money by which women assess you - then they're obviously not going to be interested.

No, you didn't understand my post. We're not talking about a woman, or even "women in general." We're talking about a 10 on the 10 scale, which is like a 3 Sigma event in the United States of Fat Chicks. For a 10 to be dating some schmoe in an entry level job is an inefficiency. It doesn't necessarily mean she is strictly interested in money, but you're confused about life if you think she's going to hang around for the 30 minutes she gets to spend with this guy at the end of the day. Life doesn't work that way, because a female 10 has more options than you can ever imagine as a man -- she could literally date any man she wants any where. If her focus is not money, it will be something else, but it won't be "average" -- her genes literally will not allow that to happen (if you doubt it, look up hypergamy on wikipedia).

 

I usually do not respond to these types of posts but I'm doing it - I've been there... not exactly there (my career has been military) but I had the same decision (chick over job) and I didn't listen to the advice of those who went before me...

Like you (or maybe not depending on age) I took the movie Family Man a little too seriously... what does Hollywood know about relationships after all? I decided not to take a military position because of time away/risk in order to dedicate to my woman. Most of the advice I got averaged out to: If it's meant to be, she'll be there. Man, I cannot agree more, if there are irreparable problems in your relationship, time off is NOT going to fix it! If your relationship is sound, guess what - she'll be there! And I've seen hundreds of cases like this: Set your relationship up now with the expectation that you are going to be busy with your career. Reassure her that you will always be honest, loving, etc. but that your work is your life when you're not with her.

I cannot stress this one enough - I've seen this decision played out literally hundreds of times and I've never, I repeat never, seen it work successfully long-term when he made the choice to stay home.

Go after your dream, stay loyal to your woman, and give her the attention she needs when you can, and if it's meant to be, then you'll be set for life.

 
mozacq:
I usually do not respond to these types of posts but I'm doing it - I've been there... not exactly there (my career has been military) but I had the same decision (chick over job) and I didn't listen to the advice of those who went before me...

Like you (or maybe not depending on age) I took the movie Family Man a little too seriously... what does Hollywood know about relationships after all? I decided not to take a military position because of time away/risk in order to dedicate to my woman. Most of the advice I got averaged out to: If it's meant to be, she'll be there. Man, I cannot agree more, if there are irreparable problems in your relationship, time off is NOT going to fix it! If your relationship is sound, guess what - she'll be there! And I've seen hundreds of cases like this: Set your relationship up now with the expectation that you are going to be busy with your career. Reassure her that you will always be honest, loving, etc. but that your work is your life when you're not with her.

I cannot stress this one enough - I've seen this decision played out literally hundreds of times and I've never, I repeat never, seen it work successfully long-term when he made the choice to stay home.

Go after your dream, stay loyal to your woman, and give her the attention she needs when you can, and if it's meant to be, then you'll be set for life.

I completely agree with you. Wise and sound words. Never seek for relationship advice from friends or other people. Do what you gotta do.Each person is different...

 

You kids should focus on having an actual relationship before worrying about dumping 10s, or whatever scale you use to rank your cubicle fantasies...

Seriously though, it doesn't make sense to end a relationship with someone you like just because you will be working long hours. Just have a proper chat and manage expectations. Your biggest issue won't be the time you will be away from one another, rather that you will "change" and could end up becoming a less interesting person to be around.

There are so many people in finance who used to be interesting...

 
Relinquis:
You kids should focus on having an actual relationship before worrying about dumping 10s, or whatever scale you use to rank your cubicle fantasies...

Seriously though, it doesn't make sense to end a relationship with someone you like just because you will be working long hours. Just have a proper chat and manage expectations. Your biggest issue won't be the time you will be away from one another, rather that you will "change" and could end up becoming a less interesting person to be around.

There are so many people in finance who used to be interesting...

Says the guy who uses an arbitrary system to rate how interesting people are.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 
Relinquis:
Seriously though, it doesn't make sense to end a relationship with someone you like just because you will be working long hours. Just have a proper chat and manage expectations.
What he said.
 
Soccerguy728:
what does an aboriginal 10 look like?

Same as an aboriginal 2.

Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys to men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into SWANSONS.
 

I dont know about you guys but I know I cant handle being in a committed relationship while consulting... why deal with the tears and angst of being away 4-5 days out of the week?

i just broke up with my ex-girl, because I know what is coming down the line... (ps. she's a great looking girl, smart and funny and all that, but nuts with stalkerish tendencies) I will tell you the golden line boys...

"I love you baby. But I can't deal with this anymore, I am completely uninterested in being in a relationship. You and I are now too expensive emotionally and I can't afford to deal with it anymore. I'm not writing off a possiblity of us in the future but right now I can't handle all of this."

took me 6 months to perfect this line but God damn it worked WONDERS!!!!

PS. The beginning stages of your career are more important than any woman dont tell me anything different lol

Get it!
 
ConanDBull:
I dont know about you guys but I know I cant handle being in a committed relationship while consulting... why deal with the tears and angst of being away 4-5 days out of the week?

i just broke up with my ex-girl, because I know what is coming down the line... (ps. she's a great looking girl, smart and funny and all that, but nuts with stalkerish tendencies) I will tell you the golden line boys...

"I love you baby. But I can't deal with this anymore, I am completely uninterested in being in a relationship. You and I are now too expensive emotionally and I can't afford to deal with it anymore. I'm not writing off a possiblity of us in the future but right now I can't handle all of this."

took me 6 months to perfect this line but God damn it worked WONDERS!!!!

PS. The beginning stages of your career are more important than any woman dont tell me anything different lol

 

The male opinion of femaies and their "purpose" on this site is scary. One day you will see your wife/girlfriend as your partner and not an asset. The day you see someone that way, consider marrying them, until then, jog on.

Regarding the fact that perfect 10's can get any man they want. To an extent yes, but they have a very limited lifespan for such looks, and nature is always creating more 10s for these rich kids to date, but their supply of available spouses is a fixed quantity for the period that their looks can justify.

 
futuretrader1999:
Who the hell is Kate upton?

Good God. Bad joke.

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 
alexpasch:
different girls value material things differently, and it's not that correlated to how hot they are...

This. A lot more to do with upbringing.

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 

These posts are so attention grabbing, so i had to run through the comments. Of coarse i wasn't surprised (given the age group predominance) how clueless most of the people posting here are.

The fact that the OP asks this question shows that he has no clue. Take ownership of your life and you will never have career/women problems, otherwise you will always be needy, sorry, and afraid.

Do what you want not what you can!
 

Wow, these comments suck.

Yes, it's definitely possible so long as she's OK with playing it by ear on weeknights (if you're staffed locally, i.e. Bain), or only see you on weekends (BCG/McK). Obviously it will be more likely to work out if you both have relatively independent personalities.

For me, it's totally worth it since I fucking hate going out and picking up chicks. (I'd much rather just have a few drinks and hang out with by bros/SO.)

"'In summary, people are morons and who cares. Make a shit ton of money. I've never seen a Ferrari paid for by what people think.' - ANT" -rufiolove
 

Don't dump her, but for god sake don't decide to limit your self in any way (career wise, and etc..). I feel that is the biggest mistake you can ever make.

Fear is the greatest motivator. Motivation is what it takes to find profit.
 

I would say you should just be wise. If you have a 10 and she likes you, and is not material, happiness is around the corner. If you feel she is a 10 but you have to try hard all the time to keep her, its not meant to be. Take the job and be happy. Baking cakes and being hto does not make her a 10 if she doesnt love you. To me material chicks dont have so much value, tehy cant be a 10. It doesnt mean I dont want to work hard, but I would work hard for freedom and choices in the end, not for some stupid materialistic chick. But even great girls cant wait forever for you, good thing is however that if you can land an IBD job you are pretty talented, and will be able to make a decent living in other ways while still making enough money, and being totally happy with your great girl. Id say ask yourself some questions, and then decide.

 

It is extremely difficult, but it looks like you guys have the running start you will need. You had time to establish yourselves before diving into the career so that's definitely a plus. My only advice is to make sure you make time for each other. That means cooking dinner on a Saturday night when you can, running together, whatever it takes to make sure you have some kind of activity you both can be involved in. Even a few hours a week can go a long way. You are both lucky in that you will be able to understand and empathize with the other in a way people not in industry simply can't. Good luck to you, it definitely is not going to be an easy road.

 

I know an Associate who has been in a serious relationship 3-4 years with another banker. He said it works because when one has to cancel the other understands completely. It's not like dating someone who works 9-5 and will never truly comprehend the sacrifices an Analyst / Associate must make. They worked relatively close to each other and when they could they'd grab lunch or dinner together.

 

(+1) I have been dating another associate at another bank for a good stretch and 100% agree with this.

Being a banker is hard. Relationships will be difficult when your time is not your own. We both "get it" and understand that work gets in the way. However, we also make a point to make sure that the other person is the first person we reach out to if we have free time: going for drinks "after work" (whenever the hell that is) is OK.

Also, when we bitch and moan about work, we each understand what the other is complaining about, rather than just politely nodding our heads (like friends and family do). We also give each other good advice - say and ask things that people wouldn't appreciate or simply wouldn't understand.

 

I know several guys in a similar situation and they try and grab dinner/coffee with their SO when possible, probably three times Monday-Thursday. Obviously it isn't ideal, but it's an option.

 

I think it's all about dating somebody who understands what your job entails and why you are doing it. I've been dating my current girlfriend for a long time already so when I started working full time we already knew each other really well and all that good stuff. Helps that she wants to go to med school so she understands the whole idea of making sacrifices for your career. I think as long as you communicate well with whoever you're dating and take the extra time to hang out together it really makes things go more smoothly.

Like any relationship making sacrifices is necessary but especially as an analyst it's more important than ever. Sure going for a sit down dinner means I'll probably be in the office longer than I would have had I just gotten takeout, but taking the time to do small things like that together is crucial.

Something that's often overlooked in these conversations I think is working together with your fellow junior team members when it comes to relationships. I am lucky that in my group all the analysts/associates are in a relationship with somebody so if one person is going on a date or something then one of the other people will totally be down to cover for them, even if it's not their project if it's something like updating comps or printing books. Because we all know that the other guys will have our backs if we're ever the ones who are in the same position.

For what it's worth I know some people who actually met their SOs while they were in banking. It's definitely possible, you just have to figure out if a) you think a relationship is worth it and b) if the other person is worth it.

 

Remember when I was in IB as a single guy who tried the dating game..........oddly ended up meeting someone for a long term right before a deal crushed my life for a few months (She was frustrated at times to say the least). Dating can be done in IB but there has a understanding for all parties involved as to the time constraint that your job has on your life.

 

Having a relationship while in IB is tough because you'll always be at the office, and even when you aren't in the office you are pretty much always on call. Meeting new girls who will understand your situation and are willing to put up with your unavailability will be tough, but not impossible.

If you have a solid relationship heading into IB, it will be strained (for reasons mentioned above), but the relationship is likely one of the things that will help you get through the shit.

 

it seems that the trick at the Associate level is to get in and get some credibility. Spend the first 6-9 months absolutely killing it. Then, start carving out time to get out of the office and meet your wife/gf for dinner, etc. at the associate level, the idea is that you are in it for the long haul. you aren't going to make it for the long haul if you can't claim some time to take care of things outside of the office. while banking is long hours, there are few days when you don't have some down time. It is ok to go workout, meet a friend, take a walk, etc during that down time --if you have established yourself.

 
heebbanker:
it seems that the trick at the Associate level is to get in and get some credibility. Spend the first 6-9 months absolutely killing it. Then, start carving out time to get out of the office and meet your wife/gf for dinner, etc. at the associate level, the idea is that you are in it for the long haul. you aren't going to make it for the long haul if you can't claim some time to take care of things outside of the office. while banking is long hours, there are few days when you don't have some down time. It is ok to go workout, meet a friend, take a walk, etc during that down time --if you have established yourself.
Bingo. If you're 22 and doing an analyst program, that's one thing, but if you're making a career out of it then you have to set limits. Considering how much BS face time the industry calls for, make the point that you'll work when there's work to be done, and then let the hardcore sociopaths jerk off to porn while you build a real life outside of the office.

When you're old and gray, you're not going to give a shit about how much money you made, you're going to want to hang out with your family, spoil your grandkids rotten, sit on the beach, and enjoy the time you have left. ESPECIALLY in the case of the bankers that get laid off for whatever reason, the ones that don't even have a family are really screwed....and I personally know guys like that, it's really sad. When I go, I want to go like my granddad: peacefully in his sleep, surrounded by friends and family (kicker: not screaming like everyone else in the car).

Get busy living
 

Lol, be prepared for a lot of lonely late nights in the bathroom at work. I struggled with this one, I would meet girls out on the weekends and it would be damn near impossible to develop anything with them because of the IB inconsistent schedule. I would really just shoot for one night stands and booty calls if possible. But as far as a relationship goes...the job is stressful enough trying to maintain a relationship while doing IB in my mind is inconceivable.

'We're bigger than U.S. Steel"
 

I think it's funny how people don't often take an introspective look at themselves and their decisions before they go on a rant about the people they have surrounded themselves with. She clearly had her own greedy expectations of him when she began seeing him.

Being someone who would kill for a job at GS, from what I have observed, her perception of his expectations for himself were unrealistic being a first year analyst? Not sure about working on a trading floor as he did, but I imagine I'm probably going to be kicked around for a couple of years as an analyst. Shit rolls downhill right?

 
tiger90:
I think it's funny how people don't often take an introspective look at themselves and their decisions before they go on a rant about the people they have surrounded themselves with. She clearly had her own greedy expectations of him when she began seeing him.

Being someone who would kill for a job at GS, from what I have observed, her perception of his expectations for himself were unrealistic being a first year analyst? Not sure about working on a trading floor as he did, but I imagine I'm probably going to be kicked around for a couple of years as an analyst. Shit rolls downhill right?

i mean as first year, u have to do all the shit works no one wants to do. just how shit works. everybody did it. it's like paying ur due. to me only wimps whine about doing the dirty work, aka getting coffee, getting lunch.

 

"Diary of an unsuccessful gold-digger"

[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]
 
jec:
She's whiny as hell but in her defense, the guy did sound like a huge douche. nothing to do with GS.

I would have to agree, I definitely think its the guy's attitude, and her being annoying.

 

Who cares about her perspective...what that article really showed was how even these hotshot traders at GS with dreams of HF/retiring early still get burnt out, in spite of putting in the legwork. Traders coming in on weekends, really? And that line about how ”there are lots of promises made at Goldman. And that’s all they are.”

Thanks for sharing

 

Anyone else tired of articles pandering to the masses by name-dropping in Goldman Sachs? Next we'll have stories of how a GS analyst took a dump and forgot to flush.

As for this article, it's a waste of digital space. It's like the author tried to fit in as many references to Goldman as possible into a single article, as if that would make it more insightful. We didn't just go to a restaurant, we went to the restaurant that was RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM GOLDMAN'S OFFICES, OMG.

Goldman has become the Kardashian's of financial news (and I use that term lightly). We're getting deluged with the minutiae of every aspect of Goldman even though we shouldn't care in the slightest.

 
South Sea Tulip:
Anyone else tired of articles pandering to the masses by name-dropping in Goldman Sachs? Next we'll have stories of how a GS analyst took a dump and forgot to flush.

As for this article, it's a waste of digital space. It's like the author tried to fit in as many references to Goldman as possible into a single article, as if that would make it more insightful. We didn't just go to a restaurant, we went to the restaurant that was RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM GOLDMAN'S OFFICES, OMG.

Goldman has become the Kardashian's of financial news (and I use that term lightly). We're getting deluged with the minutiae of every aspect of Goldman even though we shouldn't care in the slightest.

If Goldman is the Kardashians of finance, can Blackstone be Bruce Jenner?

I hate victims who respect their executioners
 
South Sea Tulip:
Anyone else tired of articles pandering to the masses by name-dropping in Goldman Sachs? Next we'll have stories of how a GS analyst took a dump and forgot to flush.

As for this article, it's a waste of digital space. It's like the author tried to fit in as many references to Goldman as possible into a single article, as if that would make it more insightful. We didn't just go to a restaurant, we went to the restaurant that was RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET FROM GOLDMAN'S OFFICES, OMG.

Goldman has become the Kardashian's of financial news (and I use that term lightly). We're getting deluged with the minutiae of every aspect of Goldman even though we shouldn't care in the slightest.

If i could front page this comment, I would. Took the words right out of my mind.

 

Beneath is a little gem from the articles comments section:

"Sounds like someone put out but still got shut out.

All blow but no show."

Ace all your PE interview questions with the WSO Private Equity Prep Pack: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/guide/private-equity-interview-prep-questions
 
Stringer Bell:
Beneath is a little gem from the articles comments section:

"Sounds like someone put out but still got shut out.

All blow but no show."

~exactly sounds like some nasty twat thats pissed cause her knees got banged up. fuck it at least she got a job at the local Starbucks, in her mid 20s. maybe if she made more than minimum wage she'd take pride in her job and salary as well.

"death is nothing, but to live defeated is to die everyday" ~Napolean Bonaparte
 

The only reason that the story made it to the news was due to populist's hatred towards Finance, using keywords such as "Goldman Sachs", "Banker" and "Wall Street." There are douche bags and assholes everywhere at every profession. The journalists know that they won't get much reaction if all of those were replaced by "Con Edison", "Engineer" and "Utilities Industry".

"I am the hero of the story. I don't need to be saved."
 

This guy doesn't sound like that great of a guy (I mean, taking someone to your office building on a first date). It's no surprise that he dated a girl like her tried to use him to get a job, sold him out to the public, and quite frankly isn't even that hot.

 

Nothing to see, its just a woman who graduated with a liberal arts degree who works at SBUX (big fucking surprise there) and wanted to ride the anti-finance bandwagon to the bank (see what I did there?).

All I got from this article is that there is a percentage of our population that believes ambition, hard work, and personal sacrifice are less important than hitting the random poon that just wanted to get in contact with you in the first place for a job.

Bitches like this needed to be taken out of circulation.

- Bulls make money. Bears make money. Pigs get slaughtered. - The harder you work, the luckier you become. - I believe in the "Golden Rule": the man with the gold rules.
 

Wow, people, listen up: the stereotypical WASPy, old money types avoid people like you. To them, most investment bankers are insufferably middle-class by nature, regardless of the money they make. You think the Patty Hearsts of New York are even remotely impressed by some investment banking slave?

edit: By the way, it is obvious from your original post that your "friend" never said any such thing and you are just curious whether going into banking would boost your chances of marrying a preppy heiress some day.

_______________________________________ http://www.drmarkklein.blogspot.com/
 
mark klein MD:
Wow, people, listen up: the stereotypical WASPy, old money types avoid people like you. To them, most investment bankers are insufferably middle-class by nature, regardless of the money they make. You think the Patty Hearsts of New York are even remotely impressed by some investment banking slave?

edit: By the way, it is obvious from your original post that your "friend" never said any such thing and you are just curious whether going into banking would boost your chances of marrying a preppy heiress some day.

classic.

 
ArcherVice:

I don't know why you wouldn't keep her in the rotation.

I would, but she seems pretty cool. She's attractive and has the personality that I'm into (shy girls).

The only girls I slept with for the sake of sleeping with while I was in college were the one's my friends found attractive and I was trying to prove a point that I could hook up with her.

 

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"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

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Making money is art and working is art and good business is the best art - Andy Warhol
 

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Reiciendis nulla quis sed rerum placeat nostrum. Nam voluptas accusamus illo facilis natus impedit iste.

 

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