The Buy Side: A Wall Street Trader's Tale of Spectacular Excess
Whats up monkeys, another frustrated CFA candidate here wasting time while cramming for judgment day. Not sure if this was already brought up but check out this new book about a hedge fund trader back in the early 2000s. It was written by Turney Duff, a former trader for the Galleon Group (Raj Rajaratnam's fund). Just a little excerpt below:
"Summer 2002: I can smell the tequila I drank last night. It oozes from my pores. I’m still wearing my blue Prada suit from yesterday. It looks like I’ve just pulled it out of a gym bag. I have 10 clean ones just like it hanging in my closet, but I woke up late again. I wonder what my personal shoppers at Barney’s would think if they saw me right now. I reek of cigarettes, too. It feels like my teeth are wearing little wool sweaters.If I can just make it to lunch, I tell myself. A cheeseburger with a fried egg will help. I try to see how many minutes I can go without looking at the clock — 16 is the record for the day. I can’t keep my eyes open. I just need to make it to the closing bell.
2:55 p.m. . . . 3:17 p.m. . . . 3:58 p.m. . . . I count down the final minute like a Canadian in Times Square on New Year’s Eve . . .
Forty-five minutes later: There’s an ounce of co****e piled in the microwave. An additional few thousand dollars’ worth of blow sits on a single plate in the kitchen. The place is littered with Grey Goose bottles, ice, cups, and straws for snorting. We call this East Side apartment the White House for obvious reasons, but it’s more like a Wall Street crack house. Randy and James [two sell side traders] live here. Everything is provided and paid for, compliments of the sell side ...They like to please their clients. Tonight they were kind enough to order in: Chinese and Mexican escorts. I watch as two American Express black cards fly through the air across the kitchen. They land right on top of the blow. James uses the cards to chop the co***ne as 12 guys roll up their shirtsleeves. One of the h***ers, Adelina, a large-breasted firecracker, drags a finger across my chest. Two traders who work for a hedge fund in Connecticut — and raced here by car service — grab the Asian twins and head to the bedroom. Dr. Fish, a 300-pound sales trader who grew up in the Florida Keys, lays claim to Adelina and escorts her to the other back bedroom . . .
By 8 p.m., the last of the guys are putting on their coats. They have wives, girlfriends and children to go home to. I try not to judge, but I tell myself that when I’m married and have kids, I won’t carry on like I do now. I’m left standing with Gus, Randy and James. The four of us head out for the night.
The Wetbar in the W Hotel is easy. James and Randy are regulars, and we’re afforded full access ... The place is dark and sexy. Candlelight is the primary form of illumination. Hotel guests camp out on the back wall, but the Street owns the middle, and that’s where the action is — if you call girls looking for a husband “action.” The four of us sit in the corner booth. Before we left the apartment, we each took a spoonful of blow and dumped it into our co***ne doggy bags . . ."
He also went to non-target for those aspiring traders. Are these days of Wall Street dead or still alive and well?
Dead, as far as the extreme excess amongst the lower ranks. The street has gotten so competitive the amount of true party boys has shrunk as the nerds have taken over.
I'd rather spend my time reading something that will get me paid.
We get it: he does blow and bangs hookers. cool
Agreed. Not that I don't like reading finance related stuff. If you don't you're in the wrong industry. But I'll be damned if I'm not gonna live the shit out of my 20's. Granted, I'm not one for hookers (not that I have strong morals, good hookers just aren't feasible on a first year analyst salary), but a little extracurricular pharmaceutical use never hurt anyone. There is a time and a place for everything.
So glad I left the business before this became the attitude.
Really? Given the choice of hookers and blow or bettering yourself....
I guess getting paid != bettering yourself, so maybe that's your point.
What are the exit ops for doing blow and banging hookers?
I'd guess schizophrenia and herpes?
Senate seat.
K.K.R.
irritability, restlessness, insomnia, paranoia, sexually-transmitted infections, depression, rehab and/or suicide, homelessness or moving back in with parents
Almost shit when I read this. Funny stuff. Good sense of humor!
Sweet.
It definitely still goes on, but is much more low key, and not nearly as extreme as his story.
good times
dude's a herb
Reminds me of Jordan Belfort.
If you are at a BB as an analyst or associate, the supply levels of applicants have effectively eradicated this type of behaviour. I am not saying that you are 'nerd' if you don't do drugs, but as Little Engine Would demonstrated, there are leagues of grads who will capitalise on studying when others party. These individuals are more effective on the logistical side but a good percentage also can't drive a sales pitch properly or chug a beer.....they are not great to be around.
Everyone knows you're not cool unless you do drugs man.
I don't blow and I don't bang hookers, hell, I don't even party. All I have is a couple bottles of bourbon hidden somewhere in my cubicle. And that's essential. What's wrong with being a nerd?
All the fun has been sucked out. I was fortunate enough to start in a group that somehow managed to keep it going (obviously, still to a lesser extent) post-crisis - we'd have a big team night out almost every week, on a week day, which would start at 5pm, and usually end at 4 or 5 am in a strip club or one of the MD's houses (we had some pretty amazing seniors). Needless to say, it got quashed by senior management eventually... we now have one of these once every 2 or 3 months.
The fun keeps going for us retired guys.
And obviously back in the day in 2006, you had middle-office analysts doing this...
http://blip.tv/lxtv/real-life-models-bottles-390144
Damn you for reminding me that this existed.
"Thursday night is the night that we ball..."
If I recall correctly, this guy lost his job shortly after this came out. There was another video of like 4 bros in Murray Hill going to a club. Really lame and they clearly thought way too highly of themselves.
Yep, he lost his job, and the boxster wasn't even leased - apparently it was rented solely for that one night of filming. The things that people do...
lolol. I remember when that hit the Web a few years back.
it gets old real quick
Some of this still exists, just like DBCooper and thewaterpiper said. It's just much more low-key because the media is obsessed with vilifying "wall street culture". As a trader i get very frustrated by all of the quant nerds who were mechanical engineering majors at MIT, but they still play a different role. The "Front Office" still is, and always will be the most important function on Wall Street. You do business with people because you like them, because most firms on the street are delivering relatively similar services. Why do you work with Credit Suisse and not HSBC? You like the guys there that you talk to, and they treat you well. The culture is still very much alive, but it's hush-hush, so you just have to find it. After meeting someone for 5 minutes you can tell if they are someone who likes to go out and have a good time.
I love talking to "old school" guys who are brokers and traders. Very few have college degrees and if they do it wasn't from a top school. They all kind of fell into the jobs, didn't need much education and couldn't find anything else. Wound up staying around because they killed it and have the proper social skills/personality to thrive in this relationship business. Some awesome stories too.
If only I was born 10 years earlier
Why are people acting as if the two are mutually exclusive? I can have a ridiculous time while simultaneously bettering myself.
Well couple of month ago i passed out at my home after a wild night while a hooker was doing a bj, she left dissapointed... and i'm not even from FO. Sooo anyone want's to go out tonight?
You'd be surprised at how many people still live like that. They simply are more discreet because it's not acceptable to do it publicly, that's all...
Reading about the Bear Sterns collapse is far more comical and interesting.
I'm all for partying and shit, but it's annoying when people make a big deal out of it. Like, cool bro, you like drugs and tits. Everyone likes drugs and tits. You don't need to write a fucking article about it. This kind of shit is why Wall Street gets vilified. You aren't Gucci Mane. You work in fucking finance.
All of these videos of Wall Street people trying to be big shots are just pathetic to me. They wouldn't know how to have a good time without money. They act like Saudis who inherit oil money or post-USSR Russians who become millionaires overnight and have no idea how to conduct themselves.
Yeah bro, we use Axe hair products, wear three polos, and we have cool nicknames. Shut the fuck up...
This is more along the lines of what I expected.
edit: And it isn't even an article...it's a whole freaking book. I'd honestly probably rather shoot myself than read that book if all it contains is the type of stuff quoted above.
I think you would be less heated about the topic if you didn't layer your polos.
Hate to go off topic, but I love your username lol!
I joined this industry 10 years too late...seemed like a helluva time.
I bought Pfizer this morning :(
>
Links to aforementioned videos of ballin' analysts?
Also, people misinterpreted what I was saying. I'm not saying that one should always study and such over doing something fun. But if I'm going to spend my time reading, I'd much rather read something that will make me money as opposed to reading about other douchebags with money.
Damn me for not being born 10 years ago :(
nothing was canceled 10 years ago still plenty of hookers and plenty of drugs out there...doubt this will change anytime soon.
I don't get the 'I was born too late' thing. Drugs still exist. Hookers still exist. Old guys who cheat on their wives still exist.
What's stopping you?
So when you say "cool story bro" you might want to keep in mind that some people actually have cool stories because they choose to live life, but you most certainly ain't their bro.
Read my last comment on page one.
DO NOT CALL ME A MONKEY
YOU GOT THAT???
More from this book (via NY Post)
Most definitely need to read this book. Sounds like something everyone needs to at least read. I spend literally all day reading things to make me smarter. And I can't afford to party like that. So what's the harm in reading about someone else's crazy life story? The worst that could happen is that you like it....
lmao fuckin pussies on wall street now.
sounds like a fun read. Thanks for the heads up
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2333329/Turney-Duff-new-book-Ex-hedge-funder-details-life-hookers-drugs-booze-new-book.html this is a link to an article that gives more details on what happened at the firm.
this absolutely still goes on. You have to understand thatthis guy was an execution trader at an equity hedge fund...his job was to sit at the desk, get an order for a PM, and execute it...this is grunt work and doesnt require a genius. However, at a fund like Galleon these guys direct alot of business and therefore they are treated like kings by the street. within his own firm he was a nobody but to the dealers he was the most important guy at the firm...in some ways more important to their business then RajRaj or any of the other PMs there. This job still exists and equities still generate alot of commisions and people still like coke and hookers...so yes of course this still goes on.
If i was an execution guy and could afford to spend half my day in a coma i might do it also.
The whole excess idea is a bit ironic because they are also the worst paid guys at the fund, but hell they do have the most fun.
Worst paid guys at the firm? If you generate a million dollars a year in commissions who cares if you are the worst paid guy.
this is the type of thing, that makes people hate Wall Street: the excess.
Doing drugs is not cool in any part of the real world. Doing drugs destroys individuals, their families and our society. I don't get this thing for drugs, maybe it's because one of my childhood friends died because of drug abuse, and I saw him slowly decaying over the years...There is nothing good about drugs. I am sorry for you, honestly, if you need drugs to get a kick out of life.
And what about hookers? hookers are for guys who can't get laid, seriously. If you need a hooker to get laid...that says a lot about your skills (but then again, I come from a culture were paying for hookers is a sort of humiliation..)
Wall Street has to get in touch with the real world.
That's a very one-sided and narrow-minded view. Lots of people die from drugs. Lots of people catch VDs. Whatever. But there are plenty of people who partake in both successfully. If you don't want to partake, nobody's forcing you.
I could make the argument that as time approaches infinity, one's probability of survival approaches zero regardless of how safely you live. So may as well choose your poison. It's kind of a dumb argument, but I'd make it i I was in just slightly more of an arguing mood.
Anyway, speedballs and booties yo.
it's just my two cents...but the reality is every experience we have becomes a part of us. when you choose to go to college, for example, you're now the type of guy who went to college, whether you want to be or not. when you choose to get married, you become the type of guy who is/ has been married. but also, when you choose to engage in certain other behaviors, they become part of you too. while its definitely true that guys could end up at the strip club or doing drugs as part of a typical "fun party night," they are also becoming the types of guys who sleep with the detritus of society and use illicit drugs that cause pain and suffering all over the world to produce. (don't believe me? see: Iran and Afghanistan). whether you want to acknowledge it or not, it's become part of who you are. it's part of your experience in your limited time on earth.
i went to a strip club once for a double birthday (two of my closest friends)...so there was no way out of it...and honestly it was a pretty pathetic and sad experience. desperate men everywhere, blankly gawking at female strippers whose life paths had led them to a profession that is ultimately degrading. even though i didn't enjoy the experience and i won't be going back, it's still part of my memories. it's still part of who i am. i can't change the fact that i'm a person who has been to strip club now. who has seen what i've seen.
so i'm not condoning such behaviors. but i'm just saying think about what you do before you blindly do it. think about how it's ultimately affecting your life and the person you are becoming.
Like Doug Stanhope says, there's only two kinds of people who are against drugs:
1) those who've never done drugs 2) those who suck at doing drugs
This thread makes me sad.
Yep...
so is this worth buying or not?
WSO you never cease to amaze me...
Book sounds like an utter waste of time.
^ Am I allowed to post porn on here? I have a relevant video.
This thread is pathetic. While I expected a whole bunch of immature and downright pitiful comments from wannabes, I'm disappointed by some of the comments by experienced people.
Let's get a few things out of the way:
Drugs and hookers on WS, as an institution, is still alive. If you don't know about it and work at a descent sellside or buyside institution, either you're colleagues hate you or that's a pretty invincible bubble you're in.
Choosing not to do blow does not make you pathetic. I don't get where that notion is getting perpetuated from. I have friends (me included) who don't do blow. I have friends who do. I have an equally fun (read: debaucherous) time with both.
Quants are not responsible for the deterioration of culture. A gross fucking ineligibility to do your job straight is. Quants made a lot of the excesses of the early 2000s possible through models that enabled traders to churn out crap. Traders (many were quant and many were old school gunslingers) being irrational, ineffective, and careless led to 2008. If you don't realize this, it's a good thing the music stopped in 2008. Besides, it wasn't like there weren't crashes in 1980s, 90s, and early 2000s. Besides, there're pathetic nerds and there're outgoing nerds who do it right (just like there are pathetic old schoolers and awesome ones); an inside look at some of the tech-fueled indulgences in SF/NY should confirm that.
While I may read this book sometime in the future, it'd be for what it is - a chronicle of experiences and of the culture back in the day. Not as something to live vicariously through, or to benchmark my life against it.
Pretty much agree on every point. To me, I don't care what drugs you do, so long as you're a decent person. I don't really care. If you're a quality stand-up person, and you're good at your job (if applicable to the relationship), then I won't have any problems with you. But putting people down for being one or the other is stupid. Are drugs bad for you (read: real drugs, not weed)? Sure. Can they be fun? Most definitely. Should you try to minimize their use to maintain your health? Sure. If you don't, are you the scum of the earth? No. Not at all. I don't do blow, never really had the chance (poor college student), but I know many that have, they don't seem to care one way or the other. I don't get addicted to substances, I know how to have a good time without letting it ruin my life. That's really all there is to it. Learn your limits, live within them. That's really what life is about. Finding yourself, finding your limits, then finding what you can do within those limits to be successful, happy, and productive.
to each his own... what works for one man may not work for another not being philosophical but seriously i've known guys who can party from 5 til 5 and still show up and get it done and others who stay in and "better themselves" and still can't make the donuts. Some guys flame out, some die, some end up in rehab, divorced... others live nice conservative, financially, spiritually and emotionally rich lives. Some have families, some marry movie stars, some the girl next door. Don't try to be another man, you never know what his real story is.
Eddie, When is your book coming out?
It's in the editor's hands now, but I'm making every effort to have it out in time for the WSO Conference.
Hookers and booze/drugs are two totally different things. You have to drink and take drugs to get smashed but you CAN get laid without paying for it.
I guess this should be posted here
This guy was just on Bloomberg. Talked about how he went to rehab twice and couldn't make money while the market was going down. Apparently, his sole motivation for writing his book was to educate the public or some shit.
Sounds like a washed-up trader who couldn't handle the market or the drugs who's looking for an easy paycheck by capitalizing on the public's curiosity of and disdain for Wall Street.
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