Too many goals in life

Hello, forum of Type-A's. I'm falling into that horrible rut of having too many goals in life (as I'm sure many of you have experienced one time or another). In addition to wanting to pursue entrepreneurship, I also have delusions of starting a national dance company, working in a F50 tech company for a few years, trying to get into marketing at a BB, joining community theatre, learning the violin, publishing a novel, taking a 5-year sabbatical to explore the East Asian recording industry, becoming certified to teach yoga, taking fifteen thousand Coursera classes, you name it.

You can take the overachiever out of college, but it never really goes away, does it?

As optimistic as I am, let's get real. There's no way I can accomplish everything I want to in life - there's simply no time, and spreading yourself too thin just guarantees that none of your ventures becomes truly successful. Hell, after the 80-hour weeks of entrepreneurship, when am I going to find time to even run a dance company, much less do any of that other stuff?

So I wanted to ask, fellow monkeys - how do you narrow down your dreams/bucket list? How have you come to terms with the fleeting existence of a human life? How have you determined what makes you really, truly happy for yourself (not what you perceive you *should* do to please others/society)?

Seriously, I'm in a quarter-life crisis right now.

 
reformed:

How does starting a dance company not qualify as entrepreneurship?

You have a point, dear sir. I was thinking of entrepreneurship on more of the "build a kickass product, pitch for VC funding, make a huge profit, and if it fails go back and do it again"... As opposed to a dance company which will be primarily non-profit and created with a very pure intention to just spread the love of the arts (as opposed to turning a profit).
Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 

Just seen your post and thought I had to comment, as what you wrote sums up how I feel pretty much exactly - like most of you guys, I spend my days virtually chained to a desk slaving away over various Excel spreadsheets & Powerpoint slides (junior analyst at a London firm). 3 years ago I'd just finished university and was chilling on a beach in Bali - ended up travelling all round SE Asia with a couple of mates over a three-month period, life seemed like it couldn't get any better :)

I absolutely love travelling and seeing/experiencing new cultures - I fantasise daily about taking a year or two out and going all around South America or East Asia (would love to see Japan and Korea), but ultimately the 'curse' of being a Type-A means I know it wouldn't be satisfying in the long-run... (yet is what we do now any more fulfilling?)

Also, like you, I would love to do more entrepreneurial/creative stuff in the world of business, however at present there just doesn't really seem to be any scope for it in my role (or many junior roles in banking/finance for that matter)

In answer to your question: at the moment I'm just trying not to deal with it, for fear of having a full-blown quarter-life crisis! My logic is that I'm only 24 now, even if I wake up 2-3 years down the line and find myself really depressed and hating my life, it's still not too late to turn things around! Also, with any luck my career will hopefully progress to the point where I get to a more senior role which lets me be a bit more entrepreneurial - however whether this 'plan' will work out for me is debatable I reckon...

 

I've had this crisis of thought before. I ended up concluding that there is indeed life after 30 years old despite so many of us having this nonsensical plan of busting our asses and cashing out into retirement / "doing what we really want" by 29. You have time to do all that and more, though I'd look realistically at the utility in the grand scheme of things of working in marketing at a BB for a few years and so on. I don't really see what little stints like that would do for you. It's like you're currently at point A, you want to get to point B which in your case seems to be dance and entrepreneurship (and they can be combined), so why go through points C and D when you want to end up at B?

This is the revelation I've experienced recently and I'm adjusting accordingly. No more plans of going into IB to jump to an HF where I'll build up a nest of $500k by 27 and then jump ship when all I really want to do is be a serial entrepreneur, build a passive income that allows me to travel and learn the things I want, and maybe write. Many ways to get rich in this country; do something that you like enough to be an effective competitor. That's the way I see it.

And of course we can try and plan as much as we like but shit happens.

 
moneymogul:
It's like you're currently at point A, you want to get to point B which in your case seems to be dance and entrepreneurship (and they can be combined), so why go through points C and D when you want to end up at B? >
And therein lies my problem. My biggest goal is entrepreneurship (not even the dance company), but things like marketing at a BB, dance, traveling East Asia, etc. are all little life experiences that I desperately want to have. It basically comes down to me not having enough self-control to say no to frivolous pipe dreams. And having too many interests. I really just need to learn how to chill and not want to turn every hobby of mine into a professional endeavour.

That's the curse of being a type-A businesswoman, I guess. I find a new hobby I enjoy and immediately begin wondering how I can start marketing it, pitching it, and turning a profit...

Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 

Figure out what you love most in life. Figure out 1 definite chief aim in life that you want to accomplish most that is in line with your passion. Put all your energy into that until you achieve it. Once you reach that, stay there and enjoy or move onto your next thing you are passionate about. Only have one definite chief aim at a time. Study Napoleon Hill. GL fellow chimp.

twitter: @StoicTrader1 instagram: @StoicTrader1
 

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

 
SirTradesaLot:

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

Hey dude... serious question... you're a wise motherfucker who seems very content. Where do I begin on this path to enlightenment?

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 
RustyFork:
SirTradesaLot:

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

Hey dude... serious question... you're a wise motherfucker who seems very content. Where do I begin on this path to enlightenment?

The key to happiness is not to get more, but to want less.
 

aim for companies that allow you to live East Asia and have freedoms. I'm sure there are international marketing firms that would allow you to live there. you would need to do some research of course and linkedin stalk some people and cold message them. I know a dude who lived in Japan, Phillipines, and Taiwan working for IBM corporate, and he wasn't asian. He loved it, but ultimately came back to the states to start a family

 
SirTradesaLot:
RustyFork:
SirTradesaLot:

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

Hey dude... serious question... you're a wise motherfucker who seems very content. Where do I begin on this path to enlightenment?

The key to happiness is not to get more, but to want less.

What are the first steps on this goal? I'm thinking about selling everything I own and travelling the world once I graduate next year.

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 
Best Response
RustyFork:
SirTradesaLot:
RustyFork:
SirTradesaLot:

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

Hey dude... serious question... you're a wise motherfucker who seems very content. Where do I begin on this path to enlightenment?

The key to happiness is not to get more, but to want less.

What are the first steps on this goal? I'm thinking about selling everything I own and travelling the world once I graduate next year.

I'm probably not the best person to ask about enlightenment, that line is from Kung Fu Panda.
 
SirTradesaLot:
RustyFork:
SirTradesaLot:
RustyFork:
SirTradesaLot:

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

Hey dude... serious question... you're a wise motherfucker who seems very content. Where do I begin on this path to enlightenment?

The key to happiness is not to get more, but to want less.

What are the first steps on this goal? I'm thinking about selling everything I own and travelling the world once I graduate next year.

I'm probably not the best person to ask about enlightenment, that line is from Kung Fu Panda.

Panda and those who are not happy probably need more physical exercise!

The Auto Show
 
SirTradesaLot:

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

Lol, this x 100.

Also, you'll never be happy if you try to be. You need to completely lose yourself in something and happiness comes as a side effect. That usually doesn't involve trying to do twenty things at once.

 
SirTradesaLot:

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

Maybe I've read too much Schopenhauer, but I definitely agree that life does not hold any intrinsic meaning. We go about our lives struggling to meet illogical needs that are driven by our subconscious. For me I've learned to either lower expectations or accept a very high rate of disappointment. Maybe happiness is just an alleviation of anxiety/pain/sufferings as we attempt to meet the next goal, of which matters fuck-all in the grand scheme of things.

 

Some great advice in here (really like that article from Livescience). A lot of this stuff I've been trying to tell myself for the longest time, but there's something about hearing it from others who are also successful and similar.

RE: Marketing at a BB - knew someone who was a VP of JPM's Asia ex-Japan practices, and she said it was an amazing experience (then again, she was a VP and not a back-office grunt). Piqued my interest. That's a check-off-the-box item for the far future, though, and I'm sure I'll probably forget all about it in 10 years.

Keep the comments coming! Any authors/books you guys recommend as well? I've read bits and pieces of Schopenhauer; been wanting to read more philosophy but just don't know where to start.

Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 
SirTradesaLot:

You just need to accept that life is meaningless and accomplishing a lot of these goals will make zero difference to the universe or your happiness. Also, some of these things are surprising to me that they're your goals. For instance, marketing at a BB is one of the worst possible marketing jobs available....most banks don't think they need to market so the marketing jobs are basically writing/font experts or they help run events/conferences. Working at a F50 tech company.....why is that a dream?

Sounds cynical, but so real.

+++

 

My take is: start thinking about what you're actually going to care about in 5/10/20 years and then start to focus on that. A lot of things seem exciting or profitable, especially if you have lots of interests and exposure to new ideas. It's cool to try new things, but the people that define themselves as successful tend to plan out into the future a bit. What I had to do at one point is write out a list of my objectives/values, both long and short term, and then sort out how each interest/job fit into that.

Ask yourself why you're really doing some things, if that works for you or not, and then just be honest with yourself with the conclusion. Talking with mentors, friends, family, counselors of any type (academic, or otherwise) can be a big help in sorting through things. Also, just let yourself be quiet sometimes, go for a walk and tune out all the noise that civilization generates....and just figure YOU out.

It's easy to get distracted and scattered in your thinking, but if you step back and think in larger and long range terms, you start to see how quickly most things become completely irrelevant. Do side interests in your free time, but realize that your 20's and 30's are the easiet time to really build a foundation in something. After that, it's totally possible but it just gets harder, so my own opinion is that it's better to start looking for a focus now. I can definitely say it's hard, and everyone's different: I went through a phase where I burned through about two dozen jobs in a year until I found something that worked. A close friend, on the other hand, knew from day one what they wanted and knuckled down. Everyone's process is different, so just run with yours.

You may see that one job takes up too much space in your life and drowns out other interests, or that another job would fit better with your long term goals, or maybe you run several projects prioritized by interest or viability. Only you know what actually matters to you and what interests you. Channel the creative ideas your brain into some objective data points and then weigh them against each other in a process of elimination, simplify things a bit, and then concentrate on what you actually care about. Whatever time/energy is left over....THEN you pursue interests/jobs that didn't make the cut, so that you're not wasting your core energy on things that don't matter.

Also: be an opportunist. Too many people get hung up on an idea and let a real opportunity pass them by. This site is perhaps the highest concentration of people with a deliberately myopic perspective on life I've ever encountered, do not fall into this trap.

Hope this helps.

Get busy living
 

A lot of good advice here. I'll throw in my thoughts as I suffered from a similar dilemma a few years back and have since solved it in a way that works for me.

SirTradesaLot has some really good advice. You need to re-examine your goals. I'm fairly certain that marketing at a BB would not make you happy. I'm guessing that you like the concept of being a Marketing VP at a BB. The "coolness" factor. But is this really a life goal of yours? Would you be excited to wake up every morning and live this life day-in and day-out? My guess is that it may sound appealing, but it is far from something that you are passionate about. I suspect that achieving this goal truly won't make you happy. You should cross it and similar goals (working for a F50 Tech Company?) off the list.

I read a book called "How Will You Measure Your Life" by Clayton Christensen. It is written by an HBS professor and focuses a lot of Type-A business people. The author makes some great points that are relevant to you. For example, take a look at how you allocate your time. You say you want to learn the violin and publish a novel. Have you started taking classes? Do you own a violin? Have you prepared an outline of the novel? If these are passions of yours, you should be allocating some time to them rather than agonizing how much you want to achieve them. That is the true test of how passionate you are about a goal. Take a look at how you spend your free time --- truly look at it. You'd be shocked at how much time there is in a week once you cut out all of the worthless activities in your life.

I had a similar problem myself. Some of my goals/hobbies include traveling the world, learning multiple languages, improving my fitness, playing recreational sports, and reading interesting things (books/newspapers/articles). However, I always told myself that I had to focus on my career and put off my goals. I had the mentality that I had to be the last to leave the office, be available 24/7, not use my vacation, and otherwise always put my job first. However, a couple of years ago I changed jobs and decided that I was no longer going to let my career dictate my life. I focused on efficiency and reduced my work to essentially 9-6 (excluding travel). I used every one of my vacation days and traveled abroad to more than 10 countries last calendar year. I joined four rec sports teams simultaneously, blew through my reading lists, and spent a large chunk of time on Rosetta Stone. To my surprise, I didn't get fired and my "work ethic" was never once questioned in my reviews. Turns out the barrier to achieving all of my goals / hobbies was myself rather than my environment.

The other element to the equation, and honestly the ultimate goal for everyone in life, is achieving a level of happiness. SirTradesaLot again made a comment above that is quite pertinent. You need to be careful of constantly reaching for new achievements without also sitting back to enjoy what you've already accomplished. After all, what is the point of accomplishing goals in life if they don't bring you happiness? This should also play into your decision making about career choices and what to do with your life. Are you dying to explore the East Asia recording industry, but you can't because you'd need to quit your job? If that's the case, it sounds like your job is actually a detriment to your happiness and quitting wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for you. Obviously you can't go broke and die of starvation, but if you step back and really think about it, a lot of the things you probably feel you need to be happy are actually hindering you.

One last point before this post turns into a book in itself: People are quick to point out that sometimes those who live the simplest life are the happiest. That's because happiness truly is a state of mind. You need to learn to shrug off the negative things in life and not let them annoy you. Waiter messes up your order? No big deal. Miss your flight? Relax, you can catch the next one. Lost your job? Guess what, life goes on! Honestly this is incredibly difficult to do but it will change your life dramatically. I've seen folks struggle through life because they view every setback in life as a catastrophe. Those who view life's challenges with a glass-half-full mentality end up being the happiest.

I have the benefit of knowing your story outside of WSO. You've got tremendous potential and the ability to accomplish any and even all of the goals on your list. Just make sure that you've selected the correct goals for you and that you approach them with the right mentality.

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
 

Great post.

I thought my posts came across more as a cynical nihilist, but glad they didn't.

I like the idea of not sweating the small stuff. One thing I enjoy doing: when you are on the cusp of making the subway, you see a lot of people frantically running to catch the train. Not me. I'll wait for the next one. Yeah, it's a small thing, but it's feeling control over your life instead of feeling dominated by external forces. It's also why I don't use an alarm clock. Happiness is not determined by external forces, but rather how you react to them. Feeling helpless is one of the greatest barriers to feeling happy. Take control over your life in some small but concrete ways.

 
SirTradesaLot:

Great post.

I thought my posts came across more as a cynical nihilist, but glad they didn't.

I like the idea of not sweating the small stuff. One thing I enjoy doing: when you are on the cusp of making the subway, you see a lot of people frantically running to catch the train. Not me. I'll wait for the next one. Yeah, it's a small thing, but it's feeling control over your life instead of feeling dominated by external forces. It's also why I don't use an alarm clock. Happiness is not determined by external forces, but rather how you react to them. Feeling helpless is one of the greatest barriers to feeling happy. Take control over your life in some small but concrete ways.

Nice.

Winners bring a bigger bag than you do. I have a degree in meritocracy.
 

Thanks for the perspective, CB. Definitely much needed and a lot to think about.

Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 
SirTradesaLot:

Great post.

I thought my posts came across more as a cynical nihilist, but glad they didn't.

I like the idea of not sweating the small stuff. One thing I enjoy doing: when you are on the cusp of making the subway, you see a lot of people frantically running to catch the train. Not me. I'll wait for the next one. Yeah, it's a small thing, but it's feeling control over your life instead of feeling dominated by external forces. It's also why I don't use an alarm clock. Happiness is not determined by external forces, but rather how you react to them. Feeling helpless is one of the greatest barriers to feeling happy. Take control over your life in some small but concrete ways.

This guy is the biggest hypocrite I've ever seen... enjoy your high horse. ^_^

The Auto Show
 
huanleshalemei:
SirTradesaLot:

Great post.

I thought my posts came across more as a cynical nihilist, but glad they didn't.

I like the idea of not sweating the small stuff. One thing I enjoy doing: when you are on the cusp of making the subway, you see a lot of people frantically running to catch the train. Not me. I'll wait for the next one. Yeah, it's a small thing, but it's feeling control over your life instead of feeling dominated by external forces. It's also why I don't use an alarm clock. Happiness is not determined by external forces, but rather how you react to them. Feeling helpless is one of the greatest barriers to feeling happy. Take control over your life in some small but concrete ways.

This guy is the biggest hypocrite I've ever seen... enjoy your high horse. ^_^

Learning to understand double meanings or reading between the lines would help you in your future endeavors..just a thought.

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 
SirTradesaLot:

Great post.

I thought my posts came across more as a cynical nihilist, but glad they didn't.

I like the idea of not sweating the small stuff. One thing I enjoy doing: when you are on the cusp of making the subway, you see a lot of people frantically running to catch the train. Not me. I'll wait for the next one. Yeah, it's a small thing, but it's feeling control over your life instead of feeling dominated by external forces. It's also why I don't use an alarm clock. Happiness is not determined by external forces, but rather how you react to them. Feeling helpless is one of the greatest barriers to feeling happy. Take control over your life in some small but concrete ways.

Not everyone can afford to have everybody they meet with wait for them. I like the train thing though.

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 

@chicandtoughness, I don't think having too many goals in life is bad. You are young, and can still afford to test various life experiences to discover your true motivation and aspiration.

Just don't get lost in the process.

 

@SirTradesaLot

Agree with the subway point. There is nothing that important going on at work that I need to squeeze inside the stuffed subway door. My father told me the same thing like 7 years ago about planes. Never run to make a plane, you will be uncomfortable, sweaty, and unhappy if you fail. Just get on the next available one if you miss it. It will not be the end of your world.

Frank Sinatra - "Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."
 

Same here, too many goals, energy scattered all over. My friend told me to slow down or I'll go crazy. I just don't know how. I really REALLY want to do those things. My bucket list is getting longer everyday (so much so that I have categories now) too, not sure if there is enough time to do it all.

 
krauser:

Same here, too many goals, energy scattered all over. My friend told me to slow down or I'll go crazy. I just don't know how. I really REALLY want to do those things. My bucket list is getting longer everyday (so much so that I have categories now) too, not sure if there is enough time to do it all.

Why are people so complicated and convoluted. Why can't they just have simple tastes and goals in life. I am "happy enough" when I just have a threesome.

Bat Masterson

Winners bring a bigger bag than you do. I have a degree in meritocracy.
 

I think having too many goals is a problem. You should not have narrow, defined goals but rather have the go-getter attitude. Every second you're living you're changing as a person, accept and embrace this change....the only way to tame your inner desires of accomplishing "goals" is to have none at all. Just keep chuggin along, keep taking advantage of new opportunities as they come your way and also create your own opportunities along the way as well. Not having goals does not equate to a meaningless existence, it actually means the complete opposite. Don't be a slave to what you (read: society) think you should be doing in life, do shit as it comes and live free.

And you're right, don't spread yourself too thin. Reflect and deliberate on which goal is most important to you at this time and go HAM on that bitch. Everything else will fall into place by itself. Passion is an intoxicating feeling and once you develop that for something, that shit will carry you over the top...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that don't treat your goals like a bucket list, you're not dying (I hope not!) so you don't have to check shit off as you complete it....that seems very ingenuine to be very honest. Do shit as it comes your way and just kick some ass.

I'm 25 and am going through the same funk. I recently started reading a bunch and one book in particular that really hit home for me was Paulo Coelho's Aleph. Shit was/is epic.

 
  1. Get in great shape (6-pack) status
  2. Get a job that sounds cool to girls. "I work for xx in O&G industry, I'm an engineer and I work in construction management, I work for a xx pro/college sports team." --> Fuck the $, 50-60K a year in most cities is more than enough.
  3. Be a good friend and family member.
  4. Actually have a life.
  5. Get housed, laid, hang with the lads, golf, and watch sports on the weekends.
  6. You'll like the way your life is, I guarantee it. (MW spokesmen voice), and you'll be happier than a goldendoodle.
 

I think perspective is relevant here in that the OP may actually be a girl lol.

chicandtoughness: I saw this earlier but had no opportunity to comment, and now everyone dished their advice. I notice that in most discussions, once someone lays out a really good point, everyone else molds their commentary around that one good piece, and the general conversation infinitely tends in the direction of the "good point." I think that's pretty evident here; people might want to suggest something other than "here's my guide to happiness."

This is a shot in the dark since I know nothing about you: I think that what you're really looking for is the next check point in life, or the next source of inspiration, from which you might draw direction. There are plenty of things you'd like to do but that you aren't necessarily "passionate" about. And if you're 25-ish, this is also likely the first time you have total social and financial mobility to do what you want - no need to finish some degree, your career can sustain your life style, and you don't have a family yet (I assume). I don't have a solution to the problem. That "solution" is different for everybody, and the journey to it is what will define the answer.

Backward as that sounds, I wholly believe that much of what we arrive at in life is something we determined along the way. Take from this what you will; in my opinion, it's useless to ask these questions not for lack of great input (especially from a community like WSO), but because we always know the answer.

Let me know if that wasn't vague enough. I'll cloud it up a bit more lol.

in it 2 win it
 

Eh, the "life has no meaning" is overdoing it, I think you find the meaning in your life, and likely it isn't reduced to a list of goals that yes, won't change the orbit of the planets.

Glad no one replied YOLO

 

Stop complaining about petty shit like the weather or not getting a reply to your text. Is life difficult for you? Are you having problems? Guess what? Everyone has problems. Everyone has struggles. Accept it. This universe wasn't created to make your life miserable. You have no ultimate purpose or destination. We are nothing compared to the vastness of the universe and our planet is going to destruct in a couple of thousands of years . To summarize,life is short. Accept the good and the bad. Live it up. This is what happiness is.

 

Chicandtoughness, I've also had the pleasure of knowing you in real life. I feel the exact same way and we are both on the same boat. What I've been doing was to prioritize my goals in terms of timing and importance. There was an article on the Wall Street journal that talked about the low supply of milk in China and bad consumer sentiment towards domestically produced milk. A bunch of guys from finance, consulting, and VC came together to capitalize on the high demand for milk by importing cows from Bulgaria and New Zealand and cow semen from the US. What my end goal in life is to be providing an essential good such as what these guys did for the Chinese milk market.

However, obviously I do not have the skillset, experience, nor the personality to go about achieving that. My only focus right now is to keep my job long enough to pay off my loans while studying for my CFA level 2 and break into ER. Hopefully I will have the tools I need to achieve my end goal. There was one thing that I learned from the successful people I've talked to: live in the present. You may have grandiose ideas but it is useless to be dreaming about the future when there is no present state to create the dream. I am not the best at following even my own advice, In_The_Flesh can attest to that. I wouldn't say to reexamine your goals, but make priority of those goals and take each goal into separate compartments and divide and conquer from there.

 

From Arnold Schwarzenegger's Reddit AMA: When asked whether to stop work and chase one's dream, Arnold replied:

"A: Stay with the firm until you find your passion. But stay with me here. B: How do you know right now your passion isn't something that you will need money for? Maybe you will decide you want to start a healthy burger shop. You will need money.

So look at this as a stepping stone instead of an end. We can't always do what we are passionate about, but everything we do can move us closer to our passion. I was never passionate about construction. But I laid bricks and worked so I could support my passion when I was starting out in bodybuilding.

The most important thing is, you need to find your passion. And once you do, put everything into it. Everything. But until then, it sounds like you are at a good stepping stone. Just remind yourself to think of it that way and don't let yourself think of it as the end point. You sound like a smart guy. I bet you will do great once you have somewhere to direct this energy."

 

Fantastic thread. The comments in the beginning of this thread hit home, specially the ones by @sirtradesalot and @compbanker. Too young to worry about this stuff as of now, but I have a feeling I might need the aid of this thread a few years down the line.

OP, hope the Master Oogways here are able to put your mind at ease. Present being a gift and all that.

Move along, nothing to see here.
 

Can't link because at work and maybe someone already mentioned it, but Alan Watts has a pretty cool video on youtube from one of his speeches on passion.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

I'll tell you what I did when I was your age and encountered the same angst.

It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them. You have to crystallize your thinking and focus on only one thing. The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life. For me it worked like this. Operating from the (correct) assumption that everything you want in life is currently owned or controlled by someone else, what is the one thing I could acquire that would mean I had everything else I wanted? For me it was something like this:

only even more beautiful. I found it in a copy of the Robb Report and tracked down the designer and found out the necklace was $270,000. I framed the photo of it, and it was the only picture I kept in my office for years. I kept it where I was forced to stare at it for at least 12 hours a day. Did I want a $270,000 diamond and ruby necklace? Of course not. I wanted everything it represented to me.

A guy who drops $270,000 on a necklace lives in a home worth 20 times that. A guy who drops $270,000 on a necklace has a sick yacht tied up in the harbor. A guy who drops $270,000 on a necklace doesn't fly first class; he owns a jet. A guy who drops $270,000 on a necklace has a woman on his arm so fucking hot that the necklace is the second thing you notice when you see her. That necklace, that one image represented everything I wanted in life to me. And by focusing on that single thing for years of my life I was able to eliminate all the other "goal noise" that goes on in your head.

So try to figure out what one thing embodies everything else you want in life, and then find a way to think about nothing else for every waking hour.

 
Edmundo Braverman:

A guy who drops $270,000 on a necklace lives in a home worth 20 times that. A guy who drops $270,000 on a necklace has a sick yacht tied up in the harbor. A guy who drops $270,000 on a necklace doesn't fly first class; he owns a jet. A guy who drops $270,000 on a necklace has a woman on his arm so fucking hot that the necklace is the second thing you notice when you see her. That necklace, that one image represented everything I wanted in life to me.

Fuck... that was awesome.
Move along, nothing to see here.
 

Thanks Eddie. You just helped me find out what to do with my life. I'll focus on this:

Batmobil.jpg

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"
 

I was initially planning to comment on Aristotle's Nicomachean Ethics, but I was having trouble deciding how to attain the ultimate good (happiness) for which I want to strive. Eddie helped me with this. Eddie has a way of distilling something very complex into something very simple. Thanks again @"Edmundo Braverman"!

"It's very easy to have too many goals and be overwhelmed by them... The trick is to find the one thing you can focus on that represents every other single thing you want in life." -- @"Edmundo Braverman"
 

Eddie, you always have awesome posts and I think most people here appreciate your perspectives and views but has chasing the dream of wealth brought you the feeling of happiness? This is not intended to be a dick question, I'm just genuinely curious as are many people in this quarter-life funk. I'm grinding hard so I can drive a range and live on beach in Cali....but is that journey truly worth the end result?

 

That's hard to answer. I've been happy the majority of the past decade, but I struggle to remember a point in my entire adult life where I felt "satisfied". I don't look at this as a negative. In my mind it's a positive that I'm always striving.

In a weird way, you come to love the grind. I'm not talking about the banking grind (80+ hour weeks and dick bosses). I'm talking about the creative grind of hacking out a life worth living and becoming someone worth knowing.

My wife and I were having drinks for her birthday the other night and she asked me, "Do you think you'll ever quit trying to become the richest guy on Earth?" to which I could only reply, "I fucking hope not."

Seriously, if it weren't for the grind, if it weren't for constantly trying to win this fucking game I was thrust into 44 years ago, I think I'd just check myself out.

 

Doesn't anybody consider knowledge/experience a "currency"? I'd rather live the life of Socrates than that of a Kardashian (objectively). Eddie, I'm sure you've done well for yourself over your life, but I think you've also lived the shit out of life which sets you apart. The same cannot be said about many of the world's most successful and wealthy IMO. Experiences and life knowledge are a greater testament of a person's character to me than how many millions they make.

To quote my latter referrence, "I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing."

To clarify; yeah money is great, but I think to the truly exceptional people, it is more of a means to an end than an actual end itself.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 
Anihilist:

Doesn't anybody consider knowledge/experience a "currency"? I'd rather live the life of Socrates than that of a Kardashian (objectively). Eddie, I'm sure you've done well for yourself over your life, but I think you've also lived the shit out of life which sets you apart. The same cannot be said about many of the world's most successful and wealthy IMO. Experiences and life knowledge are a greater testament of a person's character to me than how many millions they make.

To quote my latter referrence, "I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing."

To clarify; yeah money is great, but I think to the truly exceptional people, it is more of a means to an end than an actual end itself.

This is exactly how I feel. Never seen it spelled out before. I just want to see the world and learn as much as I can. And have a bunch of really fun experiences, obviously. That's why I decided that I'm not gonna do the whole corporate thing. I think that I have a better shot at accomplishing that by starting to travel and pursue what I'm passionate about. I think it'll work out. 'Learn in your 20s to earn in your 30s' or whatever is fine, but there's a legitimately good chance I'll die pretty young, so I'm not gonna defer my real pursuits. Gotta live life to the fullest, brehs.

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 

@Anihilist I couldn't agree more, and I've enjoyed some really over-the-top experiences in my life (and many not so enjoyable). For me, money is a facilitator of experiences. Nobody needs to experience a two-hour wait at airport security when they can afford their own plane, for example. A plane that will take them to a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Might not be the best example, but it's the best I can come up with right now. And my life experience has run the gamut: I've been dirt poor and starving and I've had a bunch of money. Having a bunch of money is better.

@RustyFork I did give up drinking, it just didn't take. All joking aside, the post you read recently was written a couple years ago and just run on WSO while I was on vacation.

 
Anihilist:

I certainly agree with your sentiment (though maybe not the exact statement itself, even though you admitted its fault). While I've never had the money to have the lux experiences that I may one day, one of my best travel experiences was on a shoe string budget. I went to Jamaica with my friends for a week (flight+hotel were like $460) and had an absolute blast slumming it. Power went out for 3 days and every evening we just walked down to a lean-to made of a blue tarp and drank Red Stripe while talking to Norwegian girls. However, I can't think of a better way in which I could've spent my time there.

Yeah, this. I think that there are diminishing marginal returns to happiness gained from money after a point. I just want to be in a position where I don't have to answer to anybody, can go anywhere, and don't have to worry about money. I live better today than oligarchs of the 1900s. I wonder how happy I am compared to most of them. Will working 300% more to sit in seats made out of rarer shit really make me happier? Is it worth shaving 3 hours off a flight? I don't fly twice a day, so I don't think so. Independence and freedom is my goal; anything extra is just that.

Some want to minimize their association with the general public. That's really expensive. Private everything is expensive. But I actually enjoy human contact and don't mind sharing a plane or an elevator with people who might not be as capable as me or whatever. I like to dick around and make jokes and hit on random girls and observe people. As long as I can tell them to fuck themselves without worry. That doesn't require as much money, but still some.

I basically want to be able to tell anybody to fuck off while living comfortably and being free. That's my goal.

"Mr. Perkins poses an extreme risk to the market when drunk."
 

I certainly agree with your sentiment (though maybe not the exact statement itself, even though you admitted its fault). While I've never had the money to have the lux experiences that I may one day, one of my best travel experiences was on a shoe string budget.

I went to Jamaica with my friends for a week (flight+hotel were like $460) and had an absolute blast slumming it. Power went out for 3 days and the hotel only would give us one candle per day. Every evening we just walked down to a lean-to made of a blue tarp and drank Red Stripe while talking to Norwegian girls while the stray dogs played in the sand and ate scraps around us.

I can't think of a better way in which I could've spent my time there.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

I'm on the same boat, I have so many goals but the 2 major conflicting ones are I want to travel the world and live and experience different countries for some time specially south east asia but at the same time I want to have a stable job that eventually will lead me to entrepreneurship, so If i work say.. 2-3 years to get money then travel with it, most likely its bye bye entrepreneurship and the money that it could generate or the money and reputation I could've made by advancing to higher positions in the career I had, at the same time if I stay for extended work time to secure more money and experience, traveling in the thirties doesn't seem to be as fun as it would be when you are in the twenties not to mention you will meet more twenty something travelers in your travels more than you would with thirty something, unless you look younger when you are in you thirties that might be not so bad for you. honestly I think you should go for it(you will need to work out how and when though) instead of living your whole life wondering 'what if had I' or 'I wish i had done this or that' before its too late, happiness is not all about the money, these lifelong experiences in my opinion are worth the money you won't be making at the time, but if you had another dream that needs that money, well tough luck, which is my case and many others I'm sure.

 

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