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totally goin through a quarter life crisis, not gonna lie. only difference is, as opposed to most monkeys saying "do i wanna keep doin this?" for me its "do i wanna keep trying to get started with this?" considering i cant find something. Like every1 else, i choose the road i did because of money, prestige, etc. However, unlike the older monkey who got everything he set out to get and realized it didnt make him nearly as happy as he had hoped, here i am already realizing it wont make me as happy as i will hope. Its all about finding something that truly makes you happy and the fact that in all these years i havent been able to is driving me fukin crazyyyyyy. im drunk btw, hopefully that made sense
Same here. I'm having trouble getting started. Not sweating it though. I also have doubts that this career would make me happy but I feel it's too late for me to go back and become a physics major and become an astronomer. :P I'm hesitant about a career that has regular 60-80 hour weeks (I'm aiming for ER). I still have lots to think about. But I at least want to try it out for that part of me that is interested in investing. Just in case my plan B is to become a firefighter. It does have 24/48 hour shifts or whatever but hell, I think it's a pretty cool job and I get to stay in shape.
Lots of credit to the people here that can put in those kind of hours and keep sane.
Though I'm not 25 I do occasionally feel the quarter life crisis, I think it's more of a post college thing.
A few things:
(1) Firstly, I don't think it's fair to fault people for questioning their decisions, it's normal and healthy. That being said, I think this type of soul searching is only good to a certain degree. If you're sitting there just thinking, rather than thinking while doing, you're never going to get anywhere, no matter how much soul searching you do. These crises are clearly a first-world problem. Once people are fed, have a roof over their heads, and feel relatively comfortable, they start contemplating things, often far more than they should.
(2) If you do decide that something doesn't feel right, I would highly advise to never feel like you're trapped.
It's sad to see the enormous amount of people in their early 20's who feel that their lives are over when they've barely even started. Whether it's your job, your girl, whatever--it's never too late to make a change--that's what's so great about living in America. Try things out, see what you like and don't like, and make changes as you go along--never let you're past decisions rule your future. Decide what you want and go for it--when you realize it's not all that you imagined it would be, don't feel like a failure for quitting, realize that you've become a better, stronger, wiser, person, and move on as such. Great post btw...calling it a crisis though seems a bit too pessimistic though for a process which people are engaged in throughout most of their lives to some degree or another.
(3) I think it's unfair to continually blindly frame these issues as a dichotomy between [wealth, banking, prestige] and [poverty, creativity, happiness]. I'm not calling out anyone in particular for doing this, but I think it tends to obscure the healthy and productive conversations that can be had on these types of issues.
It is never too late, dude. Do you want to wake up one day at 40 still wishing you had done something else?
At 25 I left the business world for good to get a masters in something completely unrelated. I’m starting med school soon. I’ll be earning a stable salary doing what I want to do by age 35, with plenty of wealth building years ahead of me.
Don’t live with regrets.
Exactly how I feel. Here I am thinking, maybe I should just take a job in corp fin at a normal company, get a dog like I always wanted, find a girlfriend etc... it would surely make me happier.
But I need to try going for the money and prestige at least.
Maybe Tyler Durden said it best:
It's not a crisis, it's just a time when you begin to realize what consequences choices you made earlier in life have.
I'm not sure if I'm having a quarter life crisis, but I'm definitely having something similar. In the past year or two, I've came to the realization that everything I thought I wanted, is not exactly what I really want. I used to think that I just wanted a job that pays decent (by my standards, which is probably lower than a lot of you aspiring BSDs) and is interesting/enjoyable. But lately I've been thinking that working in a cubicle for 30+ years would be such a waste of a life. Especially since most jobs are not that interesting/enjoyable, and having to be somewhere from 8:00am to 5:00pm every weekday kinda blows. I'm starting to think that I had it all wrong, and that working hard to get somewhere so anticlimactic was such a waste of my college years. I'm starting to think that some of the "deadbeats" I've known had it right; and that the kids who've moved abroad and experienced another culture are the smart ones -- they're the ones using their limited time on this earth to have some cool experiences and build a life worth living. Or the people who've followed their passion (whether it be sports, art, or poker), even when it meant being broke and hungry for awhile (sometimes a long while). At the end of the day, I guess I just want to work for myself and travel. It'd be nice to make decent money too, but I'm less concerned about that and more interested in finding a way to live life on my own terms.
Completely agree. When in college myself, I always found my good friends heading for a great summer abroad, while I was headed into the workforce. I suppose its kind of indoctrinated into you, go to college, work hard and make something of myself. But now, even the hiring managers look for some exciting experiences, ahead of your 4 year toil and hard work. I was lucky I caught onto that quickly. I always thought I wanted to be a laywer but 6 months in, I quit my associate gig. Since then I've worked in India, Israel, Germany, while travelling a little through Europe and South America. Its precisely one of the reasons I'm headed back to school. Those experiences cleared my head as to what I wanted to do and I'm so glad I turned my back on a office job to do what I want to do now. I turned 26 the other week and I still feel I have missed out on so many experiences (small but I've never been skiing in my life). I suppose the realization is the biggest step.
And I can always revert back to being a lawyer at any time.
so what happen?
so what happen?
Pussies...
Analysts who enjoy investment banking are nerds. Now, there's nothing wrong with being a nerd if you are truly happy with it. When I say nerd, I mean someone who studies/works all the time (I don't mean it in a negative or condescending manner). These are the same nerds who only studied in high school and college. All you got to do is look around and you'll see. I'm an analyst at a BB and I see them everyday. Though, I tend to hang around more of the "back row" analyst crowd to try and balance it out. I'm somewhat nerdy--moreso than Joe Fratpack, but I've always tried to be balanced. Think about somebody in high school saying, "You're a pussy for not studying all the time"... haha. Ya, anybody who doesn't want to work 80-100 per week is a pussy... I work these hours and I hate it. I do it for the money; won't lie to you about it; won't lie to myself about it. Ya, I'm a pussy because I want to go drink with my friends, chase girls, work out and live life outside the bullpen...right. But, to each his own. Cheers
Cheers
Never make fun of nerds, because one day they will be your boss.
Man, im no where near graduating and I have this feeling already. I don't know if I want to go into banking or something else, business development or something. But yea, I still have my masters to do so I have time to decide
holy shit are you guys fucking bitches, give me your man card
Step1: work long hours in your cubicle job Step2: make bank up until having your A-HA moment and quitting to start your own shit Step3: ??????? Step4: PROFIT
I've come across this myself and have realized the truth of something my dad has always said "Don't worry about the money, it will come," I now see this. I have the money now....(analyst money) but it is not giving me what I thought I wanted and will never.
The MDs in my office aren't happy, they aren't depressed, but definitely look and speak as though they are defeated when we are one on one and not in a meeting or in front of everyone.
I want something to look forward to everyday, not just Fri/Sat night.
Finance is definitely the safest route. For taking the smallest risk, you get the smallest reward which comes in the form of good money but bad hours / work...not a great life. Take a big risk (start up, start your own, work in a field you are truly passionate about), you get the biggest reward - good money and good hours / work environment....good life.
I agree with this to some extent, but on the other hand, there is no reason you can't entrepreneurial in finance. I work at a full service boutique bank started by a guy who started out as a fixed income trader. He was good at what he did, but eventually he said "fuck it, I can do so much more". He found some partners and went out and started a bank with PWM, i-banking, institutional s&t, commercial capital, and corporate advisory divisions. He has done pretty well for himself.
Likewise, an alum from my school spent about 7 or 8 years in BB banks as a FIG banker. A few months ago, him and a buddy (also a mid level banker) went off and started their own IM firm.
My point is that you can be entrepreneurial in pretty much any profession- it's just up to you to suck it up and take the risk.
Great post. You can find happiness and creativity in almost any industry, you may just have to search for it a bit harder.
An alum from my school did the exact same thing with a similar background in FIG. It's definitely encouraging, and it goes to show you that you don't have to think up the next FB to have the opportunity to run a start up someday.
I'm the target age for this article and I often get these feelings. I have quite a few friends in social media or tech start-ups whose jobs sound fascinating, have great working hours and get perks galore. Their base salaries are also finance base. While I still believe that industry is in tech bubble 2.0, it sounds like an incredible scene to be a part of while it lasts. If I wasn't doing what I do now, I'd be doing that...
That said, I think finance is definitely still the right track for me, for now. I make far more than both my parents combined ever earned and I get to live in another country. I see these years as an investment in the future - may as well work 80 hour weeks and work hard/play hard while I can before it's not possible anymore.
A lot of my friends from college are still waiting tables and living at home and living on debt. Yeah their hours are fantastic, but they have no money to do anything in that time, except maybe a month travelling a year. Their CVs look terrible and their work ethic has been eroded.
Never had this feeling. Don't let other people convince you that you should be "doing more with your life." If you like what you're doing or think it's what makes the most sense for you then it's what you've decided is right at the moment. Everyone my age who I meet for the first time that isn't in finance somewhere always tries to get me to admit that I hate my job and I'm a slave to some evil greedy system that frankly doesn't exist. They just want to make themselves feel better about their menial existence at their online cat food delivery startup that grossed $16 last year because their grandma picked up a bag of Meow Mix.
Maybe finance isn't what you were cut out for - sure that's the case quite often - but don't let anyone convince you that there's some greater need for all people to "explore themselves" and go out and find something that has whatever the hell "societal value" is. Your job is no different than their job, is no different than anyone else's. They're all just jobs. Quitting to become a starving artist is not going to make your life more fulfilling, as exciting as it sounds when you read some "I quit banking look at how happy I am" thread on this site.
Yeah, I agree. I think a lot of people get the idea that if they work hard and go to college, a lot of other stuff will pan out. At the end of the day though, there's still a lot more to do, and following this path won't necessarily lead to happiness.
I totally agree with this. A lot of people think they need to be out there doing something altruistic and for the benefit of mankind. I say fuck that; do what makes you happy.
hm
LMFAO...hate those people.
Respect. +SB if I had one. Do you think you can lend me a few on a Murabaha contract? lol BlackHat = Wisdom
Some people find excitement and a sense of worth from selling cat food to Grandma. Others find a sense of self worth and societal satisfaction from "that corner office at a wealth management firm".
Different strokes for different folks. In the end, its all about the chase to gross that $16 from Grandma; some do it through things they call 'jobs', others do it through things such as 'self exploration'.
Wouldn't worry about it too much, after Obama is elected that $16 will only net $5...
Great post.Certainly describes what i have been going through for the past 2 months.And i dont even live in the wealthier parts of the world, so i dont think this has to do with only the developed world.I believe this has more to do with finding true happiness in something one is doing.Happiness can only be found while doing something one is truly passionate about and that is the key.I dont know what i am passionate about and that is what bothers me.
Daily, i get up in the morning and say " Fuck!! not again".I just want to quit,but then what?What do i do then?Travel?Yup i would love to explore new places, experience different cultures,learn new languages and meet people.Yes i would enjoy while i am doing this,but then you come back and start working again and then again get stuck up in this mess.Whats the solution to this paradox?
It would be great if could start a company(Tried-->Failed) in a field i am interested in (?).Use the money to start a hedge fund( lolz,that is why we are on this site,right?) and in the meantime travel the world.Some dream!!
Wow, what would i give to be an ignorant fool!!
is it me or a person can never be truly happy in any predicament?
Good point, if I understand what you're saying correctly. It seems as if some people are never happy no matter the situation--and likewise there are some people who seem to be happy no matter what the circumstances.
I dont know. I know plenty of happy, content people. I think when life becomes more of a routine, thats when the problem arises.
Correct me if I'm wrong but I guess people just go a lot more competitive and have the do-or-die/this or die mentality about a lot of things. I kept reading posts about 27 year olds worrying if he is never ever able to be in IB and non-target students being bitter about not going to a target school. This competitiveness just drives everyone to be so narrowed down and specialize at such a young age. Hence, the not enough time for everything or not giving themselves the opportunity to break out and try new things.
You're right. However, happiness is a made up thing. We're not meant to be happy, we're meant to survive. That's why we're "happiest" when we struggle, and that one rabbit we manage to kill to feed us for the day creates more happiness than any bonus size ever could because it lacks the existential after effects of the presence of abundance. Instead, you have to make sure you catch another rabbit the next day.
the whole go travel do awesome shit with your life etc. is a bit overblown.
at the end of the day when you start work you eat shit, until you eat less shit and at some point you stop eating shit.
going to travel, live on a beach etc. delays the eating shit part, but doesnt change the fact.
just makes you older when you eat shit.
I dont think its simply a case of travelling. Its doing something you'll enjoy. Granted, I agree that when in a job you have to take a lot of shit. But even a small break to travel or doing something you enjoy gives you a fresher perspective on what it is you're currently doing. A simple vacation is different then actually travelling. You travel because you either love it or are getting away from something for a while.
I do agree that your life decisions shouldn't be predicated on societal belief. If you love your job, who gives a shit whether its morally wrong (as people perceive bankers to be) or whatever. You draw the line as to whether you're OK with contributing to something that others may detest.
Holy cow ! I don't understand any thing...I am quitting my career in oil and gas as Geophysicst at age of 28 with a pay of 90k$h wit 40 hours a week to get in ER for oil and gas...and people have all kind of negative feelings around here...
ha i totally did all 5, much happier now though and glad I did it
I went through this senior year of undergrad. It's crazy to think a quarter of your life is over, but you're still very young. I realized that I missed out a on a lot in my middle and high school years because I was so focused on the future. There's not much you can do about it, but enjoy the life you have now and savor it for what it is. You can never go back, but you can do your best to make the most out of every opportunity ahead of you. Yeah, it's cheesy. But it really helped me get through the rut. I was getting over the end of a 4-5 year long-term relationship that was my first love and my best friend dying at the end of my sophomore year. It's a tough time, and more challenges will come. Right now I'm dealing with how to juggle my own goals and commitments with the declining health of my parents, knowing I owe it to them to be there for them in their waning years. It's not fun, but that's growing up for you. Learning how to deal with things you never even dreamed about as child when your most difficult problems were figuring out how to watch tv shows that came on after your bed time. It's better to address it head on and adjust for the future... I doubt it gets any easier from here on out.
Best post in this thread.
Hahahahahahhaaha Sounds like a bunch of women on their periods. Man the Fuck Up !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since when men became so concerned about this Q-Life Crap ?! Whenever I feel down I go for a good Fcuking session and a Steak !
I loved having people like you as analysts. They lasted a good 6 months more before they started to get the shits and bitch about everything. Harsh reality of the business is that within a couple of years you know whether you're in the top bucket, baller MD track or not. Those that aren't in that bucket (and its not all down to aptitude) would be mental to stay, hence all the people packing up and leaving for pastures new in their mid to late 20s.
Several comments:
(1) Everything has a trade-off. Yes those guys that traveled, screwed around, etc. in middle school / high school / college had a great time but being 30+ with zero cash or career prospects is a pretty scary abyss to be peering into. Not sure I'd switch shoes with those guys.
(2) Traveling is just doing nothing in an expensive manner. Don't forget this when you put "traveling" in your list of life's grand accomplishments.
(3) The best way of handling all these issues is to be "present" in everything you do. The more you do this, the happier you'll be, regardless of what you are doing.
(4) An apt quote: "stressful thoughts reflect a conflict with reality. Stress happens when the mind resists what is." Think about it.
This may be one of the dumbest things I have ever seen on this site. Sounds like you have never never traveled. If you haven't yet, try it sometime, you may change your views. Seeing the world, seeing other cultures - I don't see how you can call tha doing nothing in an expensive manner. Wait- your're from LA? That explains it.
In any case- I can see why some folks get disillusioned with banking in their mid 20s. To those who say "bunch of pussies"- it'll probably happen to you at some point too, maybe in your 30s. It'll happen, though.
Banking is an all-consuming job- it's more than a job... It's a lifestyle. If you don't have a family or something else going for you, I can see how it might suck after doing it for a few years. Life's gotta have a purpose other than just money, right? It does- and you recognizing that should just tell you that you are maturing.
For me - my family is my purpose. That's why I do this. I also actually enjoy the commodity world...so that helps.my crisis will be when im 40 and buy a Lambo
I have traveled and have nothing against it in its own right. On the contrary I think it can be a great time. I just think the concept of "traveling" is often over romanticized in these kinds of discussions and people need to view it for what is - a vacation, not some great achievement. You're not going to all of a sudden have cultural breakthroughs or life changing realizations because you asked for "another beer please" in broken Spanish before wandering back to your hotel in the tourist area to pass out. Yes, some people's trips can have very strong, lasting impacts on their lives but for most people it's just wandering from tourist trap to tourist trap before it's time to get on the plane back home.
It's not a crisis. It's called becoming an adult and realizing what you are doing is not actually what you want to do. Kinda going through this now, but I'm not seeing it as a crisis (to be fair I'm not doing much of anything useful at the moment). It's more of a "hmmm, I could do this, or I could do this".
The people that call it a crisis are the ones who don't want to sacrifice a high(er) paycheck for what they really want to do.
As this man said, it is all about finding yourself
Agree with AVP. Personally, I would much rather get disillusioned with my job or industry in my 20s then in my 30s.
I when I was young I used to hear this sort of talk and say "bunch of pussies, fuck work-life balance." Now I am in my late 20s, and when I see kids saying that sort of thing I smile. They will figure out soon enough, or I hope they will, for their own good.
Yea, I used to involve myself in that kind of crap too. Now I realize I was a douche.
So much this, except I'm only in my early 20s and I don't work in banking/consulting. I do genuinely enjoy financial modeling (yes, I'm a bit of a nerd) but more from a strategic standpoint (i.e. how can I make this business better by investing in X). I'm hoping to find a path that allows me to do this type of work while also maintaining a balance. Even though I only work 40 hours a week (which truly isn't that much and I think I can easily do 50-55 with a few weeks of 60+ here and there), I too am realizing now that life is way too short sit around fiddling with Excel in a cubicle all day.
I honestly think this is pretty normal for most people. Everybody has doubts and questions themselves, especially if you've been raised the way our generation has (with promises, promises, and promises that evrything's gonna be fantastic). So much adjusting has to go on after leaving the undergrad bubble, and this is a function of that because at some point we're all forced to wake up.
Here you guys go:
http://www.bushmasters.co.uk/
I will be doing this in the next year.
fucking hipsters. how many fucking 'cultures' do you guys want to explore?
LOL as for me, I am no hipster, I just love languages. In my previous post, I stated that I plan to WORK and live in these countries. So I won't be a"Tourist or a backpacker". If you look at the countries on my list, they all have one thing in common. They are either Hispanophones or Lusophones. I would like to live in these places not only to improve my language skills, but to also learn about the linguistic nuances and cultural differences.
As a matter of fact, I almost didn't get a job because my boss thought that I would pack up and leave at any moment. I will eventually settle down. I am working on a business plan with some friends ( to be launched in 3 years)who gave me an ultimatum to settle down. LOL they advised me to travel as early as possible so that I can be back and ready for business in the next three/five years.
I think that this whole "I am quitting banking, I am doubting my career path" is related to doing something you like. For me, it is languages, translations, so investing time and money into these will give me satisfaction. Plus, I can still do the while having a regular job.
People need to stop looking for happiness into their job. Happiness is a state of mind. It depends on your outlook on life, people, friends, family, and your career. What they need is contentment. Are you satisfied/ content with what you have?
Unfortunately, some of the folks on these board live to work instead of working to live. So anything that goes wrong with their job and any critics make the feel that it's the end of the world.
Just yours.
When I was young my family moved to an unknown place in the recently collapsed Soviet union for work reasons and it allowed me to see life in a different way. It was not travelling. It was a life removed from what I knew. Doing laundry by hand in a bathtub while at friend's apartments and those sorts of activities grounded me in a very positive way. This is valuable.
Later on, I chose to stay and arbitraged a lifestyle with my unique skills to lead a life I could never afford to live in the states. I used it to lead an existence of debauchery. While all my peers in the US thought this was cool, I realized after a year it was unfulfilling. For all the people here that talk about wanting that lifestyle, you need to live it and work it out of your system. But in the end, you realize it is vacuous. Otherwise, you end up as the "life of the party" who has no family, savings, career or opportunities.
Now, there are fewer twenty-something birthdays ahead than behind. A few weeks ago I asked the guy who cleans the plants why he was back so soon only to realize a week went by without me noticing. However, all the friends doing seemingly cool things - playing in touring bands, going abroad to surf or take pictures, etc. were taking jobs as substitute teachers, administrative assistants and handymen. Many of them are locked out of better opportunities without severe sacrifice and discipline most seem unwilling or unable to muster.
My job is ok, it seems the biggest problem is perspective. You spend your day looking at outrageous amounts of money and are surrounded by superiors and clients doing much better than you. Your wants grow congruently with theirs but your salary lags behind. This cycle becomes all consuming. My earlier experience allows me to step back and think about the life I could have lived had I been born somewhere else. Instead of driving myself crazy about not living in a highrise, driving a lambo or having a designer wardrobe imported from Europe, I realize that things are alright. They really are. If you are good at the job and willing to stick it out your career will grow exponentially. Most people don't get signing bonuses, yearly bonuses beyond the median US salary and interesting work after a few years of grinding away.
Bottom line is this: in finance, you trade your twenties toiling in spreadsheets , earning certifications and completing degrees for financial security and intellectual stimulation later in life. Many of the people this board seem to envy take all the gratification up front and either pay for it later or never recover. Some get lucky and avoid this cycle, most do not.
This has been my observation anyway.
I'll take a bag of Meow Mix.
For those of you who haven't seen this - you may feel like it was written for you.
[quote=Ben Shalom Bernanke]For those of you who haven't seen this - you may feel like it was written for you.
]
Hahaha this is great.
See, this guy is embracing his quarter-life crisis with humor. People need to cheer up here.
BlackHat:Never had this feeling. Don't let other people convince you that you should be "doing more with your life." If you like what you're doing or think it's what makes the most sense for you then it's what you've decided is right at the moment. Everyone my age who I meet for the first time that isn't in finance somewhere always tries to get me to admit that I hate my job and I'm a slave to some evil greedy system that frankly doesn't exist. They just want to make themselves feel better about their menial existence at their online cat food delivery startup that grossed $16 last year because their grandma picked up a bag of Meow Mix. Maybe finance isn't what you were cut out for - sure that's the case quite often - but don't let anyone convince you that there's some greater need for all people to "explore themselves" and go out and find something that has whatever the hell "societal value" is. Your job is no different than their job, is no different than anyone else's. They're all just jobs. Quitting to become a starving artist is not going to make your life more fulfilling, as exciting as it sounds when you read some "I quit banking look at how happy I am" thread on this site.
This is one of the most accurate things i have ever read on this blog. And it eludes to the larger problem, which is that wealthier young kids (who are we kidding, at least 75% of the kids who read and write on this blog and work in the industry - myself included), have unrealistic expectations, sorry, but just because you have a 4.0 gpa and a BB ibanking internship, nobody is going to hand you the keys to a ferarri and millions of dollars in bonuses overnight and then tell you to work 3-4 days a week so you can become some part-time philanthropist making the world a better place, be confident in the decision you made, keep working hard, keep your options open and most importantly, when you can (Weekends, vacations etc.) enjoy yourself and have fun. You have a job that 99% of the world would probably kill to have, use it to your absolute advantage, and don't waste away precious time you could be using to do more work or going out and enjoying yourself, questioning your whole life at the age of 25.
just my 2 cents...
Count me in. It is definitely happening to me as I approach 24. Great stable career, live comfortably in NYC on a modest salary, great girl, loving family, etc. and I am still quite unhappy- mainly due to sitting at a desk all day until my back hurts and my eyes are bloodshot.
Out of my group of 7 close childhood friends, only 2 graduated college, and I am the only one living out of my parents house. With that being said, one could argue they got the right idea. They wake up at noon, have no expenses or bills, make short comedy films, and enjoy the small things in life (time with family, friends). They also do one thing that I am deeply envious of-pick up odd jobs for a few months then quit and use the money to live abroad and experience a new culutre while partying with women from all over the world. When they run out of money they simply go back home and repeat the process. These are guys that have never even created a resume for themselves and they are the happiest group of individuals I know.
BTW this is coming from a guy who skipped junior year internship season at a public target because I refused to become a corporate slave- guess what ladies and gents- if you don't act, it all catches up to you.
I apologize for the triple post- my computer went ape shit...feel free to delete^^^
weird thread, so do alot of people that would rather live in a third world country on a beach with a low standard of living and no money go into banking?
I mean if that's your idea go for it, but shouldnt have started in corporate in first place...
There was a time where you could bring a load of cash to a 3rd world country/Caribbean and call yourself a millionaire. You would have maintained that status if you make your money work (without the stess of a C-suit job) and mingle with the super super rich locals. Things have changed and you can't be a millionaire in a 3rd world country , just like that.
Starting in the corporate world is a good way to save money then get a laid-back job somewhere else/overseas.
I've been dealing with this since I was 18. I think it gets to a stage where you acknowledge it's just life, sometimes you have regrets, but you just roll with the punches.
A real man knows what he wants and does what he wants. If you're having a quarterlife crisis, you clearly didn't know what you really wanted or didn't have the courage to go do it. Therefore, you are not a real man.
I think that's what some of these guys mean by "give back your man card." Because a lot of you sound like insecure nerds with soft bodies and weak wills who've been pussy whipped by money.
Why is this being reposted from May?
Also, a lot of you people need to dismount your fucking steeds. If discounting a psychological study because you think working 90 hours a week makes you a superior being to someone who values family > money, you're either in college or have never worked past 7 pm before. I just don't believe a current analyst could believingly call someone a "pussy" for not wanting this as a career path. Having just worked 90 hours last week, I'll attest that there's nothing fucking noble about it, other than shocking your proletariat friends with the amount of time you spend writing conditional formulas on excel. You must be the man.
Not knowing what you want to do with your life is pretty fucking normal for a 25 year old, which is what makes the traditional "BB IB --> PE/HF!!" so appealing: it's a guaranteed path to wealth. It's not the work itself people find interesting--just this notion that somehow the end will justify the means. I didn't even know what my major was going to be until my sophomore year, which I ended up changing after my first finance class. If you want to do it, do it, and more power to you.
But guess what? My close friend sells home loans out of a desk in Wal-Mart working 40 hours a week TOPS. Plebe, right? He's had the job for 5 months, and has made over $12k per month for the last three months. Plug that into your spreadsheet Turing: at this rate, he's going to make more than me or any of my finance friends this year, and still has time to take his smokeshow girlfriend on vacations and smoke pot on his couch after the gym. He works hard and can make small talk better than anyone I know, and is already well on the way to leveraging his skill set into a lucrative career (granted negative prestige points for being a loan shark). When I juxtapose my life with his at this juncture, there's no part of me that looks down on him for doing what he likes and is good at.
Yes, I'll sound like a total cheesedick here: but if you actually enjoy what you're doing and work really, really hard, it seems to me that happiness and success aren't only the endgame, but part of the path along the way. No one wants to be an analyst for two years, but getting a taste of what the upper ranks are like makes it all the more worth it to me (I like my industry so it's very easy for me to say). For those thrust into the mix with a group, team, or industry they didn't choose: can't blame you for wanting to say screw it, hombre.
Nailed it. It surprises me, how many people don't question decisions they make - it's gonna backfire someday, but harder. The OP is right - the earlier you realize how you want to live your life and what kind of person you want to become, the better.
Thanks for this post CaR. I think you nailed it with a lot of points, especially regarding the notion the ends might justify the means for finance jobs. I was getting tired of reading the posts in this thread which want to discount people for not being cut out for finance (is ib or pe at the analyst level even that hard...) or want to frame it as ib/pe/hf 70+ work weeks vs. a hipster starving artist. I think the legitimate entrepreneurs or people making money and living/traveling abroad on a more independent schedule are the appropriate comparison. Keep in mind this list includes the people that form companies (that sell catfood for grandma) and become the clients of i banks or portfolio companies of PE groups.
Man i love my life after reading this
My earlier-than-quarter-life-crisis is what got me into finance. The one thing I've noticed about the friends that choose traveling, still don't know what they want to do and they still can't afford anything. For me, there is no in between, either surf bum or mogul. Hopefully getting to the mogul status will allow me to travel and surf AND be financially free. Check out Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Quality(of life) = Function(hard long hours) + Design(extravagance?)
Well said. After 3 yrs on a grunt job, which is likely to be the 1st job for a 25-year-old, s/he would feel trapped and confused if this individual is driven enough. It's usually the time to figure out a different career path....
Good post. I'm in phase 3. Just left the ib after first year as analyst. I did not want to commit to that career/lifestyle, so I jumped ship (with my bonus!).
It's a personal decision; you have to understand the potential consequences and you need to be able to live with those consequences. It was the right move for ME; I don't know about YOU. I know what I want in life, so it was an obvious choice for me. Think about what you want, then go for it.
Most monkeys have a goal/idea of success and happiness in life that is dependent on making a lot of money. Think long and hard about this. If you find this true, you have an uphill battle; it might not be fun, but you can do it. Now, if your success in life stems from other areas (friends, family, athletics, health, free time, reading, etc.), you may find it much easier to achieve. In the latter situation, your career decisions are less critical to your ultimate happiness.
At the end of the day, monkeys are hustlers: no matter what happens, we'll figure it out and succeed. Don't worry, be happy.
This! 25 is the kick in the ass that I need to get my shit together.
I have to echo most of what is being said on here.
I went through this exact scenario. I decided to pack up my shit, and join an emerging market startup. What I thought was about as far as you can get from the daily grind.
What happened? Everyday was exciting and I got to do some really cool things, but after a few months I got really bored again and started questioning my decision.
The moral of the story is that if you are not happy now, you better get happy, because this is it and there is no real reset button. The second part is that changing your circumstances does not guarantee happiness, most of the time you need to find it from within.
Agree with this, our jobs will not find us happiness so you have to find your outlets, roll with the punches and absolutely find it from within
Everyone saying "sack up" can eat a dick. It feels like death is hurtling towards me at 200mph and I've done everything wrong. My inevitable demise consumes my mind when I wake up every day. And I feel like I wasted my life on the completely wrong interest because I didn't follow my true passion (theater and comedy writing, but too far behind the curve to up-and-join an improv troupe now in mid 20s). That comes in the midst of a multiyear depression caused by a never-ending struggle to break into this fucking shrinking industry. Though growth PE/VC could be interesting IF I could just get on track to get there? Fuck? Everything sucks? Goddamnit. Rant over.
Too much of a pussy to go after what you want, not competent enough even to get into a field you don't want.
Enjoy your next 50 years of mediocrity and despair.
Everybody here stresses like little bitches. If you had been born 100 years ago, or at any point during human existence up until recent history, you probably would've been a farmer. How many men in history cried themselves to sleep because they didn't like their "hours" or weren't following their "passion?"
Instead here you have a bunch of soft, weak-willed village outcasts circle jerking each other, mingling tears and man juice over their existential crises.
Of course, because anyone who does not achieve MD banker will have lived a mediocre and desperate life... That makes a lot of sense. This guy is a brainwashed monkey. Doomed to stay in the rat race for the rest of his life. I'll let you in on a little secret: it's a losing game. You'll realize it eventually, but, by then, it might be too late.
I won't even begin to address the irrelevance and logical fallacies of this argument.
expenseaccounts, have a nice life.
Of course, because anyone who does not achieve MD banker will have lived a mediocre and desperate life... That makes a lot of sense. This guy is a brainwashed monkey. Doomed to stay in the rat race for the rest of his life. I'll let you in on a little secret: it's a losing game. You'll realize it eventually, but, by then, it might be too late.
I won't even begin to address the irrelevance and logical fallacies of this argument.
expenseaccounts, have a nice life.
I don't feel like I'm any wiser for having read this, but man, is it sure fun to read.
I've had my quarter-life crisis over the past two years. It's been rough, but I've changed for the better. It's basically been a change in my value system, which can in turn be divided into a number of realizations:
1) I was taking my career way too seriously
When you're grinding 70 hours or more per week, it doesn't really matter how charming you are with girls. It doesn't really matter how interesting of a person you are. It doesn't matter (that much) how many languages you speak. All that matters is that you know how to grind like a monkey, keep your mouth shut, and smile while you're at it. I knew plenty of people that fit this description in college that took it all way too seriously. While they were decent workers, they weren't exactly "fun" people, didn't get laid very often, had no outside hobbies or interests whatsoever, and in general were pretty awkward. Long story short, their opportunity cost of working 100 hour weeks was zero, and that's why they belong in that type of environment. They wouldn't be doing anything particularly memorable with their time anyways. I realized that just wasn't the kind of person I was, and I was done playing that game.
2) It's a lot easier making true friends/bros when you aren't trying to compete with everyone.
The interpersonal dynamic I had with most of my "finance friends" in college was very quid-pro-quo. Many people were really selfish, valued their time way too much, and generally weren't the types that would "have your back". Worse yet, I was slowly starting to become like them and it was turning off my non-finance friends. Once I started hanging around more"unambitious people", I realized I had forgotten what a true friendship should be like. People that will be there when you've had a shitty day; people that are down to kick it when you're bored on a Friday night; people that will call you out when you're taking yourself too seriously; people that actually want to see you succeed. I'd rather have a group of guys that have my back rather than to just "be better than everyone'"
3) It's not always about you
It's really easy to get caught up in the "me, me, me" mindset when you're trying to keep up in the rat race. Boost YOUR GPA; follow YOUR passions; save YOUR time. Actually, by helping OTHERS, you get an ego boost, you feel empowered, and you develop a friendship. I realized this when I started helping out my friends/family members that had absolutely no work experience whatsoever and were struggling to find jobs. Every week now, I spend half of my Saturday helping others- whether it's helping a cousin with their essay, helping my brother find an internship, or spending time with the elders. I think I might start volunteering for a local sports team (which is a temporary fix for me not being able to go pro). It's time that I would normally spend doing random shit anyways. And let me tell you right now, it's much more fun for me to help some kid that feels hopeless do well on a test/essay/sports event than figuring out whatever the fuck my "true calling" is.
TL;DR version- before, I was an anal, overachieving student gunning to "be the best", but wasn't very happy. Today, my resume is less polished, but I have more close friends, spend more time helping other people out, and generally take life a lot less seriously. Note: I don't have anymore money, nor is my career trajectory any "better", but for some odd reason, am much happier. Everyone's different, but this is what's worked for me.
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