Chesticles > I Banking

According to this piece on themedguru.com , a five year long study by a team of German researchers recently concluded that "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" in terms of the activity's positive effects on a man's health. "We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years" says Dr. Karen Weatherby, a (lady) gerontologist and author of the study.

Wall Street Douche Bags; Now In A Theater Near You

Why is it that every portrayal of a Wall Streeter in mainstream media - from the infamous Gordon Gekko to the impotent David Kaplan (HBO's ' How To Make It In America ') - is more douche-tastic than the one that preceded it? Circle the correct answer:

Hollywood hates Wall Street. The movie industry's blind opposition to the idea of box-office futures exchanges ala Cantor Futures Exchange and Trend Exchange is further evidence of this. Right brains and left brains just don't mesh.

Indicators That Work & Facts That Actually Matter

All major stock indices closed up for a third session in a row today, hinting at a bit of a rally in response to the bloody diarrhea streak of the last couple of weeks. Still, etfguide.com's Daryl Montgomery is not impressed, penning a very compelling argument that places us squarely between dip #1 and dip #2 of a recession with bad table manners and etiquette that leaves much to be desired.

Montgomery makes some excellent points, as do his detractors and opponents. What I'm getting at is this: with so many facts, figures, indicators and studies out there, how does one separate the music from the noise? The meat from the gristle? The banker semen from the hooker blood?

Mercedes’ US Sales Up 20.5% On Year In June. Why?

113,300 Mercedes Benzes were sold worldwide last month, making it the best June performance in the car brand's history, says parent company Daimler AG. According to this Associated Press piece , demand was especially strong in China and the US, with 13,700 and 18,300 fancy-pants Benzos sold respectively.

Please, someone tell me how the fuck this is in any way consistent with anything we've been seeing/hearing over the last few months. Net-worths are being crushed, credit ratings slashed, and discretionary spending budgets reduced everywhere; why are these over-priced shit buckets selling like double sided dildos at a Lady Gaga concert?

Schonfeld Traders Given The Boot Of Kindness

Steven Schonfeld of Schonfeld Securities announced today in a tear-jerker of a letter that he will be firing 50 Traders, roughly 15% of all Traders currently employed at the firm, over the next 6-12 months. The letter sounds a bit like the waving of a white flag, as Schonfeld expresses deep concern and uncertainty with regard to the future of prop trading :

Face Of A Nation

If America was a fine maiden, one as pretty as our nation is strong, would she now be in the twilight of her career? At 234 years of age, her face would no doubt show signs of ageing. She'd be slightly bruised and scratched up from a couple of recent cat fights - she doesn't let shit slide, this America - but all in all, still in good fighting shape. Newly-formed bags under her eyes could be attributed to a bit of a recent rough patch; depression and anxiety prone, she struggles to maintain balance in a rapidly changing world. Problems she's got a-plenty, from the financial to the medical. One amorphous black mass in particular, a mole of sorts, could really use a looking-at.