Bonus Bananas January 10, 2014

1) Pakistani Teen Dies Stopping Bomber From Striking School (NPR) - Top billing this week, hands down, no question. This is what happens when courage collides with cowardice.

2) JP Morgan Pulled $275 Million Of Its Own Money From Madoff Feeder Funds Months Before His Arrest (Business Insider) - Nice. You think maybe you could have let your customers know? How does Dimon still have a job, exactly?

3) How a major bank and the U.S. government joined forces to spy on Anonymous (The Daily Dot) - Maybe it's just me, but I wouldn't want the bank where I kept the bulk of my liquid assets pissing off Anonymous. Not sure what BofA was thinking here, but I'm glad I don't have any accounts there.

4) Funds With $100 Billion May Be Too Big to Fail, FSB Says (Bloomberg) - Jesus, why not make it $100 million?

5) Should Insider Trading Be Legal? (Frontliine) - Pretty interesting debate here. I guess it all depends on what you consider "insider" information.

6) The existential threat to Bitcoin its boosters said was impossible is now at hand (Quartz) - Well that didn't take long. Looks like a mining cartel is set to blow up BitCoin. But they promise not to. Sure.

7) Pot sales of $5 million in five days and no place to put the money? Denver City Council reacts (Denver Westword) - So you're making millions selling dope in Denver? Cool story, bro. Where ya gonna put it all?

8) Google just made it really easy for strangers to email you (The Verge) - I'll probably do a standalone post on this and the networking implications of it. Suffice it to say that Lloyd Blankfein's inbox is about to get raped. Thanks Google!

9) ESSENTIAL CLASSICS: THE POCKET SQUARE (D'Marge) - Yeah. No.

10) The moment Britain became an island (BBC News) - Wow. So Britain became an island after a massive Norwegian tsunami 8,000 years ago? Pretty wild.

Video of the Week:

By now everyone knows that legal weed had a really big week, so it's no surprise that Jon Stewart would weigh in with his thoughts on the matter. His segment started out with a takedown of an utterly baffling exchange on the O'Reilly Factor about how marijuana use is tied to texting, and how the two together were about to usher in the apocalypse. Honestly, the Fox News bit was so inane I won't steal 3 minutes of your life by forcing you to watch it. But later in his segment Stewart gets down to what is perhaps my biggest argument for the liberalization of drug laws: we already have a legal intoxicant on the market, and it's fucking horrible for you. Not that I don't love it, mind you, or that I haven't spent what now amounts to hundreds of thousands of dollars on it over the past 30 years of my life. But still...

That's it for this week, stallions. Have a tremendous weekend, and let me know what you think about this week's Bananas in the comments!

 
Monkey in Acquisitions:

1) Wow.

This.

"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
 

7) Couldn't the pot stores be in the "flower selling" business or something like that? Or is there regulations against the stores selling anything else other than pot related items?

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier
 

Regarding numero 7 and the herb, have a serious question for you folks. Hypothetical scenario, bear with me here. Person goes to Colorado and smokes a mountain of pot. It is legal and all is well. Person then comes back to Northeast and has an employer drug test where THC is found in his system. Red flags are raised and alarm bells go off. BUT, person did nothing illegal and can defend himself as such. Thoughts?

 

Pretty sure you'd still be screwed. Not prosecuted, just not getting the job (or pink slipped). Same can be said if you went to Jamaica.

People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for freedom of thought which they seldom use.
 

You could smoke weed in CO and apply and have an interview for a job in CO, and still be denied employment because the drug test showed you had THC in your system. Legal drug use is not a protected class like Race, Gender, etc that cannot be used against you in hiring practices.

This also applies for a drug test at a job you already have.

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier
 
Skinnayyy:

You could smoke weed in CO and apply and have an interview for a job in CO, and still be denied employment because the drug test showed you had THC in your system. Legal drug use is not a protected class like Race, Gender, etc that cannot be used against you in hiring practices.

This also applies for a drug test at a job you already have.

You could claim it's a sacrament and file a religious discrimination suit...

 
Best Response
Edmundo Braverman:
Skinnayyy:

You could smoke weed in CO and apply and have an interview for a job in CO, and still be denied employment because the drug test showed you had THC in your system. Legal drug use is not a protected class like Race, Gender, etc that cannot be used against you in hiring practices.

This also applies for a drug test at a job you already have.

You could claim it's a sacrament and file a religious discrimination suit...

The employer could then bring out past drug tests because assuming they are getting a random drug test, they probably tested in the hiring process, and say, if it's part of your religion how come it didn't show up previously?

Can you be fired for actions that your religion says you should do? Because you can go to jail for them. One of the middle eastern religions (I can't remember for the life of me) says that you should kill anyone who doesn't believe in the same religion.

make it hard to spot the general by working like a soldier
 

8 - hah, the add banner at the top of that link was for "Fruitvale Station". Ohhhhhh THE IRONYYYYYY

Yo dawg, did Bill O'Reilly toke before the show? He seems to have added and extra dose of "disoriented" to his usual bloviating shitheadedness. I'd pity O'Reilly viewers if I didn't have to encounter them in real life: seriously, how do people do that to themselves on a regular basis? I watch the show for ten seconds and I'm throwing stuff at the TV. Honestly, if there were one person I wouldn't brake for in a crosswalk, it would probably be him.

Get busy living
 
machineman13:
UFOinsider:

Everyone slow down a minute: why is a bank running intel ops?

I'm wondering the same thing.

This isn't a surprise. Anyone who really thinks about it the NSA is just a corporate espionage agency.
Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

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Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

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The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd.

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