Bonus Bananas January 11, 2013
1) Secret Goldman Team Sidesteps Volcker After Blankfein Vow (Bloomberg) - Sneaky, sneaky Goldman. But either I'm more in the know than I thought or these guys aren't really that secret, because I've been hearing about MSI for awhile now.
2) Deutsche Bank To Cut Investment Banker Bonuses by Average 15%-20% (Fox Business) - Well, sucks to be in IBD at DB this year. It's not too often IBD is specifically targeted for bonus cuts.
3) Death Of The Hedge Fund Short Seller (Forbes) - If you're trading for size on the short side these days, you don't even have to be wrong to lose money. The fees involved with holding a short position have gotten ridiculous.
4) New York Post Gives Anthony Weiner a Fake Wall Street Job (New York Magazine) - It's funny when the NY Post screws up badly enough to delete a story once it's posted. It's even funnier when WSO-favorite Kevin Roose breaks their balls about it. There's some real gold in the comments, too.
5) MF Global judge nixes customer group's bid to depose Corzine (Yahoo! News) - If I were an MF Global customer who got left holding the bag, I'd be seriously pissed right now. Just goes to show you that some guys are truly untouchable.
6) CHART: Inflation Since 1775 And How It Took Off In 1933 (Business Insider) - Here's that ugly ass chart I promised earlier this week. Probably shouldn't look at this too soon after eating. But yeah, we should totally do that trillion dollar coin.
7) Young people are screwed… Here’s how to survive (Pando Daily) - If there's a Must Read this week, it's this one. This is beautiful, unvarnished advice from a one-time investment banker and you should listen to ALL OF IT. Even if it makes you sad.
8) Here Comes The Student Loan Bailout (Zero Hedge) - There may be some hope for you art history majors after all. If you have a federal student loan and you...well...suck at life, you may eventually attain total loan forgiveness. Mazel Tov!
9) Construction is complete on behemoth airship; first flight planned (LA Times) - This thing is just badass with a capital B.
10) It’s Apparently Really Easy to Lock Out Your Friends’ Facebook Accounts (BroBible) - Wow. This might just be the dick move by which all dick moves are measured from here on out. And I know for a fact that it works, because a friend of mine lost his son last year and had to do this. As pranks go, this is soooo not okay.
Video of the Week:
This week's Video of the Week was suggested by WSO user skylinegtr94. You're definitely gonna get a few laughs out of this one. Some of the lines are lame, but some of them are hilarious, and you have to give mad props to this kid for going through with all of them. Plus I'm betting he ended up doing a few of these chicks (law of large numbers and all). Enjoy:
That's it for this week, guys. Let me know what you think in the comments and have a stupendous weekend!
Re #3: almost every client we talk to is concerned about the rehypothecation of securities. I can only assume we aren't the only ones being asked about this. Clients strongly prefer that you don't rehypothecate securities as they can get tied up in bankruptcy, as what happened when Lehman collapsed (especially in London). I'm sure this has limited supply and contributed to rising borrowing costs.
Re #7: I hated that article. First of all, it is very pessimistic. Second, it is poorly researched (Journalism bad? Journalism is so much bigger this days due to the internet and globalization!) Third, its premise doesn't say anything someone smart and informed doesn't already know: Trades and engineering degrees (generally) lead to a greater chance of a more stable future in terms of income and employment.
7 is an awful article
7's author created Bleacher Report. F*** him.
Haha! Thanks for the shout out. I still think that the transformers line is the best in there. Kid has brass ones.
7's author just goes to show you that you don't have to be intelligent or creative to become wealthy. Just gotta believe devoutly in your own bullshit long enough to attract investors and customers.
8, zerohedge just says the same shit in every post. Probably been saying this for the past 6 years; just gets annoying after awhile.
1 Honestly, not surprised.
7 is right on. But it really is a restatement of a long term trend. The old economy steve meme comes to mind
8 great points. However, the pay as you earn plan is restricted to certain years and is not open ended. The conclusion is based on the premise more plans like this are on the way.
9 great idea. I am no engineer, but aren't we landing this silver bullseye in war zones? Places not exactly devoid of RPG's and anti-aircraft stuff.
10# doing this means you've graduated from troll to a^&hole.
Re #7 was just obnoxious. But hey, the more kids that listen to it and get into some other crap the easier it will be for the rest of us who don't give up to get a coveted BB position.
Yea we're screwed. But I'm not saying "fuck it" and moving to Detroit to work in a factory. Not quite yet.
@ #8.... Missed the deadline for eligibility by 2 weeks!
"Come on!"
"I just shit in my pants. Can I get in yours?" LOL
Good stuff.....these articles are pretty funny
"I want to do to you what Mitt Romney does to poor people" HHAHAHAHAH
Where's the Morgan Stanley layoff news my man! Laying off thousands as we speak. It is bonus season after all.
Check this out, I bet some very opinionated trolls here are going to be super pissed they are not getting paid to be dickheads:
http://consciouslifenews.com/paid-internet-shill-shadowy-groups-manipul…
The video is hilarious.
Eddie,
Surprised you didn't put this article in the bonus bananas. Best article I read this week:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/magazine/here-is-what-happens-when-yo…
Disagree, re #7. It's completely true. Most young people are fucked. Seniors graduating from Ivy League schools with a good network probably aren't, but as a whole, college students are graduating unemployed in massive numbers, and those with non-technical degrees are going to be shocked at how few job prospects there are for a, say, Rutgers English major with a 3.5.
WSOers maybe don't want to believe it because they're not having a struggle in their job search, but there are maybe 2,000 college seniors a year going into IB/S&T/PE, if we're making generous assumptions. Total. That's maybe1/3 of a single state school's graduating senior class. This community really isn't representative of the wider economy.
Where do you work if you're an average lib arts major? Banks and management consulting firms might hire you But like we said, there aren't very many spots. So you go to grad school, maybe, and pick up more debt. But unless it's a top law school, or a med school, that's a shitty investment. So you work at a job which literally requires no skills, like Starbucks or something, to pay off that $150k debt you inherited getting that history degree your guidance counselor encouraged you to get because you should "do what you love." PandoDaily is right: American college students are so, so fucked.
You hit it right on nail, dude. I totally agree on the widely-misleading representation of this site's exclusive community. It's extremely disheartening, but true nonetheless.
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