Induction Week Insanity!

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Rank: Senior Neanderthal | 4,232

Many of you monkeys will have started new full time jobs over the last month or two and undoubtedly you will have gone through the obligatory "induction" week(s) where you get endless presentations from senior management, HR, IT, operations and every other department you can think of. The logic behind this is obvious - it gets you to mingle with your fellow fresh-eyed drones and to have an introduction to the firm.

I've been on a couple of these and can safely say they are (almost) utterly worthless.

Now I will admit, it's nice to have a week of free lunches and breakfasts and perhaps even a free bar one night, and to be essentially paid for doing nothing, but nobody can deny they are deathly dull! You basically spend a week going through endless PowerPoint presentations on firm culture, IT procedures which you will almost never use and other way-too-detailed stuff which you could learn in about 1/10th of the time actually on the job.

Yes it's nice to be able to know how to access the server-based storage. Yes we all know data protection is important. Yes we like to feel important on our first day with the executive water bottles, free bags, laptops and phones. But no I do NOT like endless e-learning activities, flip charts, ice breakers or any of the other corporate time-wasting bullsh*t that you have to go through. I am strongly of the opinion that all of this could easily be covered in 1 morning and with some emails / PDFs to review in your own time over the week.

Lets say that an average intake is about 200 people, each getting paid something like $60,000 per annum. For a full 5-day week that's roughly $160,000 worth of time, plus whatever the firm spends on rooms, drinks, meals etc. Why not cram it all into 1 morning and get people straight to the desks so they can learn in the most effective way possible - on the job?

Any thoughts or comments from all you monkeys? What have been your best or worst experiences of an induction week?

Comments (6)

Oct 10, 2012

Ok, so we have a guy complaining because he's paid to chill with others analysts.

Next.

Oct 10, 2012
Zafrynex:

Ok, so we have a guy complaining because he's paid to chill with others analysts.

Next.

This. Seriously man. Would you rather walk in the first day to have them throw you into a dark dungeon, put you in shackles by a computer and yell "NOW GET TO WORK YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. YOU GET OUT IN TWO YEARS...IF YOU SURVIVE. WELCOME TO HELL, BITCH."

    • 1
Oct 11, 2012
Ron Paul:
Zafrynex:

Ok, so we have a guy complaining because he's paid to chill with others analysts.

Next.

This. Seriously man. Would you rather walk in the first day to have them throw you into a dark dungeon, put you in shackles by a computer and yell "NOW GET TO WORK YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. YOU GET OUT IN TWO YEARS...IF YOU SURVIVE. WELCOME TO HELL, BITCH."

Personally? Yes.

Oct 10, 2012

1 week of free pay, food, drinks before hell starts and your complaining? Would you rather have been staffed Day 1 @ 2 pm and worked your first 15 hour day on your first day of work?

Oct 10, 2012

They should do these things in the middle of your first year when you actually need a break.

Oct 11, 2012
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