Magic Power Bracelets and Assorted Scams

Being that I'm having a Madoff flashback this past week...

Being that the NASDAQ hack has roughly 1/5th of all U.S. stock trade info on some geek's jump drive...

Being that Wall Street operates out of D.C. and that the whole world is pretty intent on passing its own failures off on someone else...

I think it's a great time to ask the question...

What is the Biggest Scam You've Ever Seen



I am prompted to offer this little nugget of madness as further evidence of why I can't be mad at the Jesus freaks for screaming about Sodom and Gomorrah...
I mean seriously, guys...if you actually need to issue a press release explaining that a plastic wristband with a hologram on it does precisely jack shit, things are not "getting worse"...they are worse. They are actually way-past-worse. I'm coining that. WPW. Mine. Back up fools.

Seriously though, I am thinking about posting a

Come Work For The Investment Bank of Midas, Mulligan & Magoo

thread and seeing how much razume spam I get.

Can we really be getting this dumb as a society?

Is Wayne Brady really going to have to choke a bitch?

Age of information? Advance of human society and all that good shit?

Well... okay...

Today, I want to hear you guys' stories of not just your favorite scams, but the biggest load of bullshit you ever bought yourself.

Here's one of my cute little favorites to start it off:

Midas the Cookie Crook



For those who recall the sugary goodness of Cookie Crisp cereal, their annual "Corvette Give Away" was something all little gear heads looked forward to.
After all "buy Cookie Crisp and win a brand new Chevy Corvette" sounded like a good deal to me!

I used my hard earned penny lint to buy a box...took it home and found nothing. I ate some nasty ass cereal. Rinsed and repeated. After a month in which I bought a new box every day, gave myself three cavities and packed on a lard layer that has stayed with me for decades, I finally got the hint...

Cereal boxes are too damn small for V-8 engines, let alone the car that holds them in place.

Nothing in life is free and it is utterly amazing how often we fall for bullshit if it is packed up in a shiny enough package.

Now...

Let's be honest, we're all anonymous here...

What was your Cookie Crisp Corvette? Preferably in a Worldcom or Enron context...

Comments (27)

Feb 7, 2011

Midas,

Where can I submit my resume to join Midas, Mulligan & Magoo? Are you guys able to compete with the likes of Goldman? What's the culture like? How's the Compensation? Is there a fully stocked bar to be raided daily?

In all seriousness... my favorite scam has always been Amway/Quixstar/Whatever they are calling themselves these days. The reason why it's my favorite is because unlike Eron and Worldcom, it's easy to sucker people into, hard to get out of and is an easy way to drain people of their hard earned money since they need to buy and market the products they sell by using those products to show brand loyalty. I mean, I was going to discuss Scientology, but who knows what those nutters are doing and how they are searching for their name to come up.

Back to Amway thoough... In college, I had a friend that went to one of these "MLM-Group meetings" and started his own business selling their products. He tried to convince me to be his downlink (their term for one of the people he gets to directly join) and I said I'm not interested but got dragged to the meeting anyway since he said I should hear it from them. Being the Cynic I am, I sat in the back and listened, not impressed by any of this. So, as I'm explaing my dissatisfaction with this event, the system and the like, and the guy running it comes over to me and starts to chat me up and get me interested, but I explain that I'm not and have no desire to do this. Without getting into much detail he tries to convince me and I say look, I'm not interested in doing this and have no desire to be part of this whole process. He listens paitently to my ranting, gives me his card and says that if I ever feel like seriously considering it and change my mind, I should give him a call. So my buddy continues on with this for about 3 months before realizing what I did that he was SOL and couldn't make the money he thought he'd be able to with this. So he calls them and quits, ending up walking away with a small net loss on the whole ordeal. After seeing that happen to him, now I just avoid any of those scams twice as much.

Feb 7, 2011
Midas Mulligan Magoo:

For those who recall the sugary goodness of Cookie Crisp cereal, their annual "Corvette Give Away" was something all little gear heads looked forward to.
After all "buy Cookie Crisp and win a brand new Chevy Corvette" sounded like a good deal to me!

Cookie Crisp's first mistake was offering Corvette's. They should have put up 964 911's...

Frieds:

In all seriousness... my favorite scam has always been Amway/Quixstar/Whatever they are calling themselves these days.

A "friend" I had known years ago (and had not spoken to in god knows how long) called me up one day a few years back offering one these scams to me. I didn't bite as I already knew what it was all about. It's amazing how someone who I had absolutely no contact with in many years had the nerve to call me up and attempt bring me into this scam. Money makes people do odd things.

In 1976, James Hunt broke the sound barrier through Eau Rouge only to retire before the event finished... following the race he had sex with three Belgian nurses at the clubhouse near La Source.

Feb 7, 2011
Frieds:

Midas,

Where can I submit my resume to join Midas, Mulligan & Magoo? Are you guys able to compete with the likes of Goldman? What's the culture like? How's the Compensation? Is there a fully stocked bar to be raided daily?

In all seriousness... my favorite scam has always been Amway/Quixstar/Whatever they are calling themselves these days. The reason why it's my favorite is because unlike Eron and Worldcom, it's easy to sucker people into, hard to get out of and is an easy way to drain people of their hard earned money since they need to buy and market the products they sell by using those products to show brand loyalty. I mean, I was going to discuss Scientology, but who knows what those nutters are doing and how they are searching for their name to come up.

Back to Amway thoough... In college, I had a friend that went to one of these "MLM-Group meetings" and started his own business selling their products. He tried to convince me to be his downlink (their term for one of the people he gets to directly join) and I said I'm not interested but got dragged to the meeting anyway since he said I should hear it from them. Being the Cynic I am, I sat in the back and listened, not impressed by any of this. So, as I'm explaing my dissatisfaction with this event, the system and the like, and the guy running it comes over to me and starts to chat me up and get me interested, but I explain that I'm not and have no desire to do this. Without getting into much detail he tries to convince me and I say look, I'm not interested in doing this and have no desire to be part of this whole process. He listens paitently to my ranting, gives me his card and says that if I ever feel like seriously considering it and change my mind, I should give him a call. So my buddy continues on with this for about 3 months before realizing what I did that he was SOL and couldn't make the money he thought he'd be able to with this. So he calls them and quits, ending up walking away with a small net loss on the whole ordeal. After seeing that happen to him, now I just avoid any of those scams twice as much.

Same. A good friend of a good friend of mine wanted to "talk" with me during my college days (my friend didn't know what it was all about). OK, sure, went to the meeting place (her office) and as I go up the elevator and go to the door I'm supposed to, I see the Amway logo on it. Not knowing much about it (just having heard of it from people I know trying to desperately sell me their shitty products which was always a red flag) and being a big time cynic my first instinct is "oh fuck this shit."

So, the next thing I know I'm locked in a small room with her for oh at least two hours being hammered by a nonstop onslaught of Amway (you know the video presentation on her laptop with her pausing and interludes regularly sprinkled in.) Trying to sell me on shit like Amway was promoted by George H.W. Bush, don't I want to be in a league with people like that, etc. Needless to say, not only was I not buying it, but the longer I was in that room the more I was beginning to hate the very fabric of the organization. However, being a gentleman that I am I simply showed disinterest, said "I'd think about it" and left.

As soon as I got home I started an onslaught of instant messages towards her telling her it was a Ponzi Scheme, it was a fucking joke, I don't want my name anywhere near a criminal orgnization like that. After two days of this kind of back and forth and her trying her hardest to defend the name of Amway and her place in the organization she finally gave up and said, "look you have your opinion I have mine," and it ended. I was really trying to get her to quit and badmouth the organization, that would have pleased me endlessly. Why would that have given me pleasure? I don't know, immaturity? Anyway, I was pissed about having a whole day wasted by those assholes.

Feb 7, 2011
Frieds:

Midas,

Where can I submit my resume to join Midas, Mulligan & Magoo? Are you guys able to compete with the likes of Goldman? What's the culture like? How's the Compensation? Is there a fully stocked bar to be raided daily?

We are a top boutique. Goldman can't see us. Salary below street. Prestige blows street. Culture is OG, occasionally Capo Status. All our analysts are on a raw diet. We make green and we eat it. $50K investment capital required. PM me for details.

Feb 7, 2011
Midas Mulligan Magoo:
Frieds:

Midas,

Where can I submit my resume to join Midas, Mulligan & Magoo? Are you guys able to compete with the likes of Goldman? What's the culture like? How's the Compensation? Is there a fully stocked bar to be raided daily?

We are a top boutique. Goldman can't see us. Salary below street. Prestige blows street. Culture is OG, occasionally Capo Status. All our analysts are on a raw diet. We make green and we eat it. $50K investment capital required. PM me for details.

Midas, Mulligan & Magoo -- "Kicking Your Ass Since 2011"

In 1976, James Hunt broke the sound barrier through Eau Rouge only to retire before the event finished... following the race he had sex with three Belgian nurses at the clubhouse near La Source.

Feb 7, 2011

Guy that served in a Special Ops unit that I know pretty well set up this Amway thing to deliver groceries to the families of his guys when they were deployed. Dude made a killing (relatively speaking) and was then politely asked to leave the Army.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Feb 7, 2011

late night on BET they sell holy 'miracle' water. the commercial says they will pray for you also. No joke

Feb 7, 2011

Here is the biggest scam I have seen, sorry its not in a business related context..

HD sunglasses

It doesn't even make sense, it just makes colors more vivid and they market it to senile people who don't know what theyre doing and buy it because it has the word HD in it and because those commercials are intended for the dumb.

Also, those limited edition gold quarters or whatever are on those infomercials. what a ripoff. has anyone actually bought those? because 'they're sellng out fast!!!!'

Feb 7, 2011

I had some random kid text and call me three times the last week I was home on break asking to meet up "for a tremendous opportunity." I hadn't heard from him in more than two years, had never heard the word 'tremendous' uttered from his mouth before ... needless to say I smelled scam.

He was remarkably tenacious and justified his random re-contact with "I know your potential and I want you to know about this." I never let him near the house, he's probably off peddling Cutco/Amway to the other freshmen at his no-name school in Southeast Bumblefuck, PA.

Feb 7, 2011

My roommate got into the whole quixtar scam (same as amway), he wanted me to get into it cuz "you're businesses minded man,, youll get it...these other ppl dont" so i listened to him and said scam...but hte still told me more about it...and told me the shit they say to them. "dont listen to ppl who say its bs, or a scam, they'll try to bring you down...distance yourself from these so called freinds..theyll keep you down" and he started to believe it and distance himself...Thank fully a month later..he got his first check for $2.54 and quit and we got to make fun of him ever since...at my school they pretty much preyed on people fresh of the boat who don't know any better, or sheltered kids who don't think of something that's too good to be true. Saw a bunch more like that when a different friend was applying to entry level bs jobs (shitty degree, 2 years doing nothing after school) and he was showing me the jobs and almost all of them were scams.

Feb 7, 2011

Hello, I'm a Nigerian Prince in need of assistance...

Feb 7, 2011
Mr. Hansen:

Hello, I'm a Nigerian Prince in need of assistance...

Stop emailing me

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Feb 7, 2011

There used to be a couple of scam investment opportunities out there in the late 90s that were pretty slick.

Guthy Renker kinda started it and, to this day, I still think those guys were legit. The way the deal worked was you put up $50,000 or whatever to buy late night airtime, and they provided the product and production of a 30-minute infomercial. You know, Thigh Master kinda shit or whatever. And they offered some ridiculous profit payout, I wanna say like 40%.

Like I said, I think they were legit. But boy did they ever spawn some copycats. One of them was a scam called Sterling Group that never made a single infomercial. Basically a Ponzi scheme, but it took off like wildfire all over Southern California and all the Vegas boiler rooms. Even got some legit (albeit not very bright) shops involved.

I ended up having drinks with a guy who ran a real estate investment shop I did some consulting for a year or so earlier, and he starts telling me about this great new deal they're working. I couldn't believe it. What the fuck did real estate guys think they knew about infomercial marketing. They ended up getting hammered when it all came crashing down.

Feb 7, 2011

Not so much a scam as a brilliant sales pitch for a regular knife XD. Introducing Ginsu!: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginsu

Valor is of no service, chance rules all, and the bravest often fall by the hands of cowards. - Tacitus

Dr. Nick Riviera: Hey, don't worry. You don't have to make up stories here. Save that for court!

Feb 8, 2011

Had a buddy get all wrapped up in the shitty Primerica Financial scam. Managed to brainwash another friend to do it with him. They were convinced they would pull in $500k a year after about 3-5yrs of 'building their business'. About four months later they burned their stack of Primerica cards together at a backyard bonfire.

I was astonished when one of them told me a few months later about this great "opportunity" called Cutco. Luckily he listened when I told him it was the same deal as Primerica. It amazes me the stupidity that some people exhibit. To each his own..

Feb 8, 2011

I'll say one thing for Cutco: they make a damn good knife. In-laws gave us a set several years ago and they hold an edge like you wouldn't believe.

Feb 8, 2011

Some (stupid / ignorant / all of the above) friends of mine sent me facebook mails about ponzi schemes.

Feb 8, 2011

Eddie, I gotta agree with you on that one. We have a set of Cutco Knives and they are just as good as the German knives we have. At least Cutco produces a product that is usable and works well.

The rest of these Ponzi Schemes.... not so much.

Feb 8, 2011

agree with Frieds Cutco makes a great product but there marketing approach/business model is ridiculous having teenagers basically harass people they know into buying knifes come'on man

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

Feb 8, 2011

I would sell Cutco knives in prison. I guarantee you every revenge minded freak making $0.04/hour would tweak over those things and drop his whole commissary account on them. I got a set more than ten years ago and those things still kick ass. I have cut steel piping with my bread knife and still no tetanus!

Feb 8, 2011

Northwestern Mutual internships. Have received Facebook messages from friends that want to meet with my parents.

Feb 8, 2011

So... Concensus on Cutco? Not a scam... just awful at how they sell knives?

Feb 8, 2011
Frieds:

So... Concensus on Cutco? Not a scam... just awful at how they sell knives?

Agreed.

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

Feb 8, 2011
blackfinancier:
Frieds:

So... Concensus on Cutco? Not a scam... just awful at how they sell knives?

Agreed.

Agreed. Although, I do know a girl who moved down south and was pulling 50k a year [or so she says] hawking them.

Personally, I'm going to join Banc of Magoo and help out that nice Nigerian chap.

I'm thinking the biggest scam of all is the 700 club. Southpark did a great job of skewering them a while back, but people are still into it. I don't get it

Feb 13, 2011

Those college painters companies seem to be a pretty big scam, both for the student that ends up making less than minimum wage and the sucker whose house gets a sloppy paint job.

Feb 13, 2011
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Feb 14, 2011
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Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne