Man Week: Playing Your Part
With the opening entry to Man Week, I wanted to bring you guys something that is both, useful and fun. I wound up having to deep six dozens of ideas. I realized that there were way too many issues to address and way too many possible routes to take. So I chose a road yet unpaved.
Today, I will address an issue that I haven't seen touched upon any place else. At least not in the way I think it should be. My approach will not be gentle or kind or friendly. I don't expect gratitude or appreciation for my thoughts. Quite the opposite, in fact.
My daily reality has become a constant confrontation with the feminization of the American male. Whether at the grocery store, the workplace, the bar, on the street or online, I see fewer and fewer men reasoning and behaving as our forefathers did. I am not part of the crowd who looks as this state of affairs as one of progress or evolution.
Quite the opposite, in fact.
Let me be clear, my motivations are as selfish as they are benevolent. I miss being around actual men. The kind who do not leave the room to let one rip choosing instead to stay and bask in the afterglow...on a first date. The kind who understand that physical violence, aggression and anger are some of the most beautifully poetic parts of not only who we are, but what we are. The kind whose individual wills and personal desires can never be satiated by something as vaginal as societal approval. The kind who wouldn't just come into a topic like this and tell me to STFU, but the kind that would send a private message with their location, a death threat and the request of a face-to- face duel.
Believe it or not...
In this previous paragraph is the answer to all of your questions, young monkeys.
How do I cold call an MD? Check.How do I ace my interview? Check.How do I succeed in business? Get ahead in life? Live fulfilled? Find happiness? Achieve my goals?
Check-oh-slo-fucking-vakia. A big fat, red, bold check mark next to your name in the game of life...one that so many of our wayward brethren have lost or never learned to play.
Truth be told, there is only one type of skill that men need to master in life, in order to master life itself. That skill is not external or market driven. That skill cannot be found online or in a self help book. That skill is inside all of you, but the vast majority do not use it. It lies dormant. Languishing and dying. Here is that skill, in a basic and simple format. It is the ability to communicate with other men and to earn their admiration, loyalty and respect. Or as it applies to far too many:
Become a Man Without Remaining a Bitch
Rule #1: Might is Right
You do not need to rip the flesh off your opponent and snack on it like cold cuts. You do not need to be an overcompensating pussy who tries to prove himself with backhanded comments and ad hominem. You do not need to ice grill the other kids. Strength is an internal quality. No muscle, no glare, no gesticulation can provide it. It manifests itself via spontaneous energy expulsion. Energy which cannot be released when you are expanding efforts to try precisely that . You must be and being requires doing and not trying. Confused? If so, that is a very good sign. You will learn much this week, Young Jedi. Logical? Reasonable? Proper? No. Quite the opposite, in fact.
The first step is not about comprehension, but about presentation. If you want to learn to survive in the jungle, you must first be able to observe the predators in action. Walking through the lion's den requires the ability to fit in. You can climb all the ladders and kiss all the asses, but if you are not a leader...men will not follow...your survival will depend upon circumstance and luck. In other words, you have to blend in and fake it, till you make it, until it becomes second nature. Follow these steps in figuring out what it is:
a) Stand in front of and look into the mirror.
b) Set your jaw. Your top and bottom row of teeth in "the chewing section" should be clasped firmly, but without tension. If you are like most men, you will have an overbite, with the top front row of teeth overlapping the bottom. You should feel a slight pursing of the lips, a tautness of the jaw line and a minute tension in your cheek bones and forehead.
c) Widen your eyes. You do not need to add the sneer that comes with a caffeine powered all-nighter. If you chew tobacco, gulp Adderall or blow rails/other analysts in bathroomsyou should probably skip this step and focus on lowering your glare's intensity.
d) Straighten your fucking back and put this thought in the front of your mind. I will not blink or look away during conversations today, locked eye contact is the air I breathe. Support it with the following: I will speak from my voice box and project my voice in the direction of my target.Stop talking out of your mouth and stomach. This leads to either mumbling or that queer as folk voice crack I am hearing more and more to my great chagrin. You do not need to be a Baritone for your voice to have a powerful impact. You just have to speak from your voice box, clearly and succinctly projecting strength and confidence. The key aspect is to not get carried away and inject that opinionated girly tone that jumps off so many of your written posts and comments. Eliminate sarcasm. It is spineless and weak. Men of power and respect sneer at it.
e) Slap the shit out of yourself every time you say "um", "like", "you know", "for sure" and use other verbal crutches. Now you are ready to roll out. Not like a chump. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Rule #2: Show Strength, Even From a Weakened Position
You've grown up in a whirly girley baton twirly world. All fucking gold stars and back pats. You are quite possibly a fat ass with a runner's trophy or a child of privilege with delusions of abilities and talents that are far more closely tied to daddy's checkbook than your own skill set. Get over yourself. You've got some rude awakenings coming your way. Reality does not give a fucking damn about where you went to school, stop sending me fucking LinkedIn invitations, no I don't give a shit who you know or why you want to be in the industry...the real truth fellas...
I want to know how you can be of use to me.
The preceding words are the thoughts of all men in power when they are approached by you younger guys. They look at you like spineless jellyfish handed the benefits of their hard work. It doesn't matter whether they are right or not. This is how the guy world evalution process has worked for centuries, it has not and will not change behind closed doors. What matters is that you can play on their level a lot sooner than promotions and evaluations will allow...IF...you are respectful of them and yourself in stark contrast to the salad tossing strategies so many of you employ now. Memorize the following paragraph, make it your prayer, your motto, your Michael Jordan fade away jumper at the buzzer:
"No, sir. I cannot run that comp. I am currently working on aDirector X, followed by my meeting with Vice President Z and a 10:45 with Client Y. I want your matter to get the full attention it deserves. If given to me it will not be addressed until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest."
This is a template. The words and subject matter are there to convey an essence. Saying "yes" is not what men do simply because it is expected of them. Yes,there are times you will say it. But it is never about what you say as much as it is about how you say it. This is precisely what every single other paper pusher two years ahead of you on the track to managed manicured monotony will tell you not to say.
If you want to be another clone, listen to them. If you want to achieve results which are not ephemeral. Take the leap of faith and do what you must...but on your own terms. Pray you realize that you're living the life of a secretary sooner than when you become the fucking head of Bedpans and Depositions.
Yes, you will catch some hate. You may make some enemies. You may get a tongue lashing or even be fired. So...fucking...what? Human society is where it is today is because of the risks men have taken...nothing else. In spite of the equal rights, positive discrimination, weakness affirmation routine you've been given.
This is a truth stronger than fact: If you do not act with balls around other males, you will be ostracized, jail shower raped, beaten, pissed on and thrown back into the knitting room with the girls. Love it or leave it. Compared to what you are told daily...I'm sure...quite the opposite, in fact.
Rule #3: Loyalty Above All Else...except Honor
Yes, I do talk a lot of shit that does not make sense to well schooled young gentlemen. The daily delusion you have all been fed is that with enough studying, a good enough SAT/GRE/and the right circle of friends you can avoid boorish, stone aged attitudes and hairy back fisted apes like me.
Sorry, champ. Quite the opposite, in fact. Not because the guy who sold you blow in high school and fucked your girlfriend in college is running Wall Street. But because it is you fine gentlemen who eventually become the biggest thugs. As I always repeat and perhaps don't manage to convey accurately enough:
Everything in this world has a price.
Going into an industry that is about money and absolutely nothing else changes people. It changes them on a biological and neurological level. The values and ideas that you hold dear today, will not exist a decade from today.Perhaps they already don't.
That is why the only thing you really have is your word and a code of honor which is no longer taught or respected. More than simple cliches, the following suggestions will make or break your relationships with other guys in the long run. Remember them and practice them. Abide by them even when your own personal gain is not aligned with them. Some of you think you practice the following, you are lying to yourselves...
Show love to those who helped you. Always go back and take care of those who took care of you. NEVER let your opinions or those vaginal little drips which have no place in a male environment, called feelings cloud your vision. Always return calls, favors and good advice. If you do not or will not, step up and say that so. Manhood is based on standing up for one's decisions, even more so if that decision is displeasing or difficult. Always speak the truth, even when you know that it may lose you a client, a friend or a job. Always be critical of your own decisions with regards to how you treat your compatriots. NEVER call a man your friend if you will not stand by him in tough times. Always reward those who have given to your cause without asking for payback. If you think relationships are about payouts and returns, they are not. Quite the opposite, in fact.
If you don't practice the preceding, you will learn the harshest lesson of all. Success and happiness are byproducts of respect and honor, not hard work. You live in a world of people and human interaction. Being trapped behind a screen all day long can sometimes confuse that fact. The bottom line is that in a world of men you have two things:
1) Your word
2) Your balls
DO NOT break them for anybody.