Q&A with Heister, "My Total Worth is North of $50 Million"

M Friedman's picture
Rank: King Kong | 1,073

For those who do not frequent the WSO Chatroom, I would like to introduce WSO Chatroom extraordinaire, Heister. Although he might have some troll tendencies, if you ever have a question about agricultural farming, finance homework, or the hedge fund industry, Heister is always online to lend a helping hand. While he may not be the type of "banker" a nice Christian girl would bring home for dinner with her parents, he sure does make me laugh.

Instead of doing the regular two part series, I have gone ahead and put our whole Q&A below. Please do keep an eye out for more of my Q&A series with our more experienced users. Who knows, you might actually learn something.

Enjoy,

MF: What advice would you, seriously, give to someone in college trying to break into the HF industry?

Heister: For someone who is in college trying to break into the HF world the routes to do so are immense. Personally for people in my situation, a non-target with mediocre grades and no internships, I would say focus on smaller banks that offer both an Investment Bank and a Hedge Fund. These banks are more likely to promote from with in.

While in college I would advise doing banking related internships, busting your ass grade wise, and having a life. Honestly, mega funds are what people cream their pants over, and that personally is not for me. I'm not about that work a million hours a week and chest bump your fellow analysts because you just pulled off 5 all nighters this week. I would rather enjoy my working experiences in a fund with a laid back culture.

MF: As mentioned, you work as an analyst at a hedge fund, and that must take up a good amount of time. So, how in the world do you have so much time to spend on the WSO Chatroom?

Heister: The past couple of weeks things have been slow, the partners are bickering over a potential buy out of a consulting firm. Some of them have this idea that they want to create a "one stop shop" for all banking and consulting needs. So it has left me with only a few active projects to do for the next week and a half or so. Despite my wiry nature and lack of apparent attention span. I am rather good at multi tasking.

MF: Everyone wants to know, what is your estimated net worth range?

Heister: Ha, while I wont give out an exact number. I will dish out some nuggets for you all to drool over. My total worth is in the eight-figure range; it is north of 50 million. I expect it will pass into the nine-figure range in the next two years or so.

MF: What does it compose of? Real Estate? Cash or debt? Jets (how many)?

Heister: I am not sure of my exact portfolio break down. The vast majority of my net worth is tied up in real estate, natural gas leases and business ventures. I keep a fairly healthy amount of cash at any one time. I do not personally own any jets, my businesses own two and I have use whenever I feel like it.

As some people on WSO have realized I absolutely in LOVE with debt my current debt load strips my net worth by a considerable amount. Debt opens up a world of possibilities.

MF: If you were elected president, what would be some of your first orders of business?

Heister: Besides making it illegal to be liberal? I honestly have no idea.
The problems that face the world are so complex and massive that I would get grey hair. I am not a huge fan of grey hair in my mid twenties. I know a guy with greying hair and he's not even thirty if you were wondering, its not a good look.

MF: We talked about starting a fund on the WSO Chatroom, what are you thoughts on this? How would you go about running the fund?

Heister: I have thought about this a bunch over the last week or so. I think it would be set up as a learning and experience tool for undergrads. Almost like an internship only that the people involved will be responsible for everything. They would be responsible for targeting companies, analyzing the company, making buy/short recommendations, and executing the trades. It would be impossible for the fund to give a full banking spectrum of experience due to laws regulating what licenses people have to have to do certain jobs.

I think this would be very beneficial to non-target undergrads who can not get the traditional banking internships. What would set this apart from a school investment club is that students who excel would have the opportunity to join the fund upon graduation in a paid role. It would be a prop shop in essence. I would keep the profits from the interns or reinvest it in the fund to help hire more traders and analysts that stand out above the rest.

Heister: I think we are lacking that really controversial question.

MF: You mean, boxers or briefs?

Heister: I mean something more like, male thongs or commando

MF: So..?

Heister: Male Thongs.

I could not have thought of a more appropriate ending to a Q&A with Heister.

Check my past Q&A's:

Patrick Curtis Part 1
Patrick Curtis Part 2

CompBanker Part 1
CompBanker Part 2

Comments (191)

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WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Feb 13, 2012
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If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

Feb 13, 2012
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Moving tonnes of product. Making fat stacks.

Feb 13, 2012
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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Feb 13, 2012
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If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

Feb 13, 2012
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I rich, smarts, and totally in debt.

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I rich, smarts, and totally in debt.

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If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!

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Moving tonnes of product. Making fat stacks.

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If the glove don't fit, you must acquit!

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Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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"One should recognize reality even when one doesn't like it, indeed, especially when one doesn't like it." - Charlie Munger

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Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

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More is good, all is better

Feb 13, 2012
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The Four E's of investment
"The greatest Enemies of the Equity investor are Expenses and Emotions."- Warren Buffet

Feb 13, 2012
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Reality hits you hard, bro...

Feb 13, 2012
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If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

Feb 13, 2012
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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

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Feb 13, 2012
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Moving tonnes of product. Making fat stacks.

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The difference between successful people and others is largely a habit - a controlled habit of doing every task better, faster and more efficiently.

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Moving tonnes of product. Making fat stacks.

Best Response
Feb 13, 2012
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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

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Feb 14, 2012
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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Feb 14, 2012
Feb 14, 2012
Comment

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Feb 14, 2012
Comment

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Feb 14, 2012
Feb 14, 2012
Comment

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Feb 14, 2012
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I rich, smarts, and totally in debt.

    • 1
Feb 14, 2012
Feb 14, 2012
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Moving tonnes of product. Making fat stacks.

Feb 14, 2012
Feb 14, 2012
Comment

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Feb 14, 2012
Feb 14, 2012
Comment

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

Feb 14, 2012
Comment

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough.

"There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.

Feb 14, 2012
Comment

I rich, smarts, and totally in debt.

Feb 14, 2012
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Reality hits you hard, bro...

Feb 14, 2012
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I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk

Apr 18, 2012
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Moving tonnes of product. Making fat stacks.

Apr 19, 2012
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More is good, all is better

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Apr 19, 2012
Apr 19, 2012
Apr 19, 2012
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Moving tonnes of product. Making fat stacks.

Apr 19, 2012
Apr 19, 2012
Apr 19, 2012
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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Apr 19, 2012
Apr 19, 2012
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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

    • 1
Apr 19, 2012
Apr 19, 2012
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Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

    • 3
Apr 19, 2012
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More is good, all is better

Apr 19, 2012
Apr 19, 2012
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More is good, all is better